Hey loser, wanna get LUCKY!?!?!!

So, do you wanna see something really swell?

I had sex with someone last night. Was that you?

Gee, you don't sweat much for a fat chick.

For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.

Are we in the frozen food section, or are you just happy to see me?

No, that's not a banana.

Would you like to see my boa constrictor?

You have a beautiful nose, did you get a nose job?

You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.

You're ugly but you intrigue me.

I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that.

He: Would you sleep with me for 20 million dollars?
She (sheepishly): Yes.
He: Well then, would you sleep with me for 20 cents?
She: No, what kind of woman do you think I am?
He: We've established what kind of woman that you are, we're just haggling over the price.

Walk over to a table occupied by ladies, whip out your willy, and say:
Hey Charlie, see anyone here you recognize?

There's something about you that I like. I just can't put my finger on it.

I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.

If you ever want to see your children again, you'll do what I want.

Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?

If I was Elvis, would you screw me?

Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?

I'm an organ donor, and I have an organ you might need

Weren't you a woman the last time we met?

Gorgeous hair. But it'd be even better brushing against my thighs.

He: Excuse me, want to dance?
She: No.
He: Maybe you didn't hear me... I said you look really fat in those pants!

What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this??

You are just truly absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?

I've got a pimple on my butt, wanna see it?

He: You're gorgeous. I'd really love to invite you out sometime.
She: No, thanks.
She: Aw, c'mon! Lower you're standards a little. *I* did...
Gal: <SLAP!</SLAP!
He: I guess a blow job is out of the question, then?

Always take a screw with you and put it in your pocket.
Then, when a girl comes up to you, offer her the screw and say, "Wanna screw?"

You are the proof that God has a sense of humor.

You're not what God was thinking of when He said, "Let there be woman.

My name is Jeffrey Dahmer and you would make a fine dessert.

Yo. You'll do.

Baby, I got a backstage pass to your ass!

I'll bet you ten bucks I could get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.

I think I'm falling in love with you. Now do you want to fuck?

Do you have a boyfriend? Well, when you want a manfriend, come and talk to me!

You're ugly, but you interest me.

Do you believe in one night stands?

Let's take a shower together, you smell.

Hey, somebody farted. Let's get out of here.

Look slut!! You're not gonna get anyone better than me.

Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let's go screw.

Just call me milk, I'll do your body good.

Your body's name must be visa, because it's everywhere I want tobe.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your BedRock.

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going and going....

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you,I'd be cumming too.

Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King,you treat me right, and I'll do it your way right away.

I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

I enjoy doing maintenance; you look like someone I would like to "tinker" around with.

You must be from Pearl Harbor, cause baby you're the Bomb -diggity.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

Is that Windex, because I can see myself in your pants?

I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Wal-Mart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

Wanna Play House? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long.

If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille namemtag.

If you were a car, I'd wax you and ride you all over town.

Guy: "Would you like to dance?"
Girl: "I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you."
Guy: "I'm sorry,you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants"

Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.

I look good on you.

I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?

You look like a girl that has heard every line in thebook,so what's one more going to hurt?

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?

I love every bone in your body - especially mine.

Excuse me, do you wanna fuck, or should I apologize.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Do you want to dance, No? Well I guess a fuck is out of the question.

Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?

I lost my bed. Can I borrow yours?

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me,knead till hard, and serve hot.

Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long?

You be the tree, and I'll wrap you like a Koala.

Hey baby, I'm like American Express, you don't want to leave home without me.

Do you have a quarter? My mother told me to call home when I met the girl of my dreams.

The word for the night is legs, let's go back to my room and spread the word.

Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous  curves ahead, yield?

Hi my name is _______, remember it, cause you'll bescreaming it all night long.

I can't find my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

Was you dad a farmer? Cause you sure have great melons.

Want to play conductor?? You be the engineer and I'll goChoochoo.

You must be Jelly, cause jam don't shake like that.

The fact that I'm missing my teeth just means that there's more room  for your tongue.

Guy: "haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Girl: "Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore"

Hi, my name is Skippy, like the peanut butter I stick to the roof of your mouth.

Hi, my name is Pogo, want to jump on my stick?