1.Teddy Bears are happy
to snuggle all night long.
2.Teddy Bears rarely
have prickly whiskers.
3.Teddy Bears always
keep your secrets.
4.You can always buy
a bigger teddy bear.
5.Teddy Bears never
bore you to death with details of the games.
6.Teddy Bears can
hug for long periods of time.
7.Teddy Bears usually
smell nice and are always soft and cuddly.
8.Teddy Bears hardly
ever smoke and rarely even smell from tobacco.
9.Teddy Bears are
perfectly willing to make long term commitments.
10.Teddy Bears make excellent
traveling companions.
11.Teddy Bears sleep soundly
without wriggling around, snoring, and hogging all the covers.
12.Teddy Bears are not often
jealous of other teddy bears.
13.Teddy Bears never transmit
nasty diseases.
14.Teddy Bears aren't only
interested in sex.
15.Teddy Bears know when
you've had a bad day.
16.Teddy Bears love to vacation
at the spot you select.
17.Teddy Bears don't have
to hide when your mother comes to visit.
18.Only once in a blue moon
will a Teddy Bear break your heart.
19.Teddy Bears have little
anxiety about their abilities in bed.
20.Teddy Bears like it when
you wear flannel nightgowns.
21.Teddy Bears hardly ever
complain about your bedtime makeup preparations.
22.Most Teddy Bears don't
hog the whole bed.
23.Teddy Bears never stand
up their dates.
24.Teddy Bears are never
on a business trip when you really need them.
25.Teddy Bears are happy
to stay loyally in your bed when you are away.
26.Teddy Bears get on perfectly
with your pets.
27.Teddy Bears always like
your friends.
28.Teddy Bears don't have
weird eating habits.
29.Teddy Bears invariably
understand when you have a headache.
30.Teddy Bears almost never
complain about your housekeeping.
31.Teddy Bears don't shock
neighbors by their presence.
32.Teddy Bears are rarely
too young or too old.
33.Teddy Bears don't require
home cooked meals.
34.Teddy Bears never borrow
your car.
35.Teddy Bears get on famously
with all your relatives.
36.Teddy Bears would never
make fun of your anxieties.
37.Teddy Bears aren't paranoid
about catching your cold.
38.Teddy Bears don't care
a bit what you spend your money on.
39.Teddy Bears are always
ready to help you in an emergency.
40.Teddy Bears never have
cold hands or scratchy toenails.
41.Teddy Bears can't possibly
get you in trouble.
42.Teddy Bears don't get
suddenly amorous in the middle of the night.
43.Teddy Bears love just
as much the morning after.
44.Teddy Bears never leave
your bathroom a wreck.
45.Teddy Bears don't mess
up your apartment, and they generate only modest
of laundry.
46.Teddy Bears are the safest,
cuddliest people in the whole wide world.