Love Quotes And Facts
1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the harder it is to
leave her.
2. Nothing improves
with age.
3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered
take it, because it'll never be
quite the same again.
4. Sex has no calories.
5. Sex takes up the least
amount of time and causes the
most amount of trouble.
6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7.
Sex appeal is 50% what
you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
8. No sex with anyone
in the same office.
9. Sex
is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how
long it is going to last.
10. Man in the house is worth two in the street.
11. If you get men by
the balls, their hearts and
minds will follow.
12. Virginity can be cured.
13. When a man's wife
learns to understand him, she
usually stops listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than
yourself.
15. The qualities
that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't
stand years later.
16. Sex is
dirty only if it's done right.
17. It is always the wrong time of month.
18. The best way to hold a man
is in your arms.
19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
20. Sex is hereditary. If your
parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
21. Sow your wild
oats on Saturday night --
Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
22. The younger the better.
23.
The game of love is never
called off on account of darkness.
24. It was not the apple on the tree
but the pair on the ground that
caused the trouble in the garden.
25. Sex discriminates against the shy
and the ugly.
26. Before you
find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
27. There
may be some things better
than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly
like it.
28. Love your
neighbor, but don't get caught.
29. Love is a hole in the heart.
30. If
the effort that went in research
on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be
running hot-dog stands
on the moon.
31. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of
physics.
32. Do it only with the
best.
33. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned
four-letter words to convey its
full meaning.
34. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
35. You
cannot produce a baby in one
month by impregnating nine women.
36. Love is the triumph of imagination
over intelligence.
37. It is
better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
38. Thou
shalt not commit
adultery.....unless in the mood.
39. Never lie down with a woman who's
got more troubles than you.
40. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
41. Never argue
with a women when she's
tired -- or rested.
42. Woman never forgets the men she could have had;
a man, the women he
couldn't.
43. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic
in the stick.
44. It is better to
be looked over than overlooked.
45. Never say no.
46. Man can be happy
with any woman as long
as he doesn't love her.
47. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all
jumps.
48. Beauty is skin deep;
ugly goes right to the bone.
49. Never stand between a fire hydrant and
a dog.
50. Man is only a
man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
51. Love comes in spurts.
52. The
world does not revolve on an
axis.
53. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other
eight are unimportant.
54. Smile,
it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
55. Don't do it if you
can't keep it up.
56. There is
no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
57.
Never go to bed mad, stay
up and fight.
58. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from
another.
59. This is a lie "This
won't hurt, I promise".
60. This is a bigger lie "I'll still respect you
in the morning".
61. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
62. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as
they go by.
63. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
64. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
65. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
66. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
67. Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
68. Needing someone is like a parachute. If they aren't there the first
time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
69. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
70. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I
thought to myself, "Where the hell is the ceiling?!"
71. My reality check bounced.
72. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
73. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
74. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
75. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, 'cuz, like, you are crunchy
and taste good with ketchup.
76. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
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