Chinese Torture
A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes
upon a small
house. Knocking on the door he is greeted by an ancient
Chinese man
with a
long gray beard.
"I'm lost", said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly", the Chinese man said, "but on one condition.
If you so
much as
lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three
worst
Chinese
tortures known to man."
"OK", said the man (thinking that the daughter must be
pretty old as
well)
and entered the house.
Over dinner the daughter came down the
stairs.
She
was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was
obviously
attracted
to
the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him during
the meal.
Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her and went up
to bed alone.
During the night he could no longer bear the thought of not
touching
such a
beautiful body, so he snuck into her room for a night of
passion. He
was
careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't
hear. Near
dawn, he
crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.
He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes
he saw a
large
rock on his chest with a note on it that read "Chinese
Torture 1:
Large
rock
on chest."
"Well that's pretty crappy" he thought. "If that's the best
the old
man can
do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the
boulder up,
walked
over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so, he
noticed another note that read :Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left
testicle."
In a panic he glanced down and saw that the rope was already
getting
close
to
taut. Figuring that a few bones was better than castration, he
jumped
out of
the window after the boulder.
As he plummeted towards the ground he saw a large sign on
the ground
that
read "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bed post."
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