FDA
The FDA (US Food and Drug Administration) is considering additional
warnings on
beer and alcohol bottles, such as:
13. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when
you are not.
12. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like
a dickhead.
11. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
boring story
over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like
thish.
9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell
happened to your pants.
7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning
and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't
remember).
6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead.
5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
are
tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named
Chuck.
4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible.
3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing
WITH you.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the
time-space
continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem
to
literally disappear.
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
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