Men's Guide to What A Woman Really Means When She Says

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"We need to talk" - "I need to complain"

"I'm not upset" - "Of course I'm upset, you moron"

"You're so...manly" - "You need a shave and a shower"

"Be romantic, turn out the lights" - "I have flabby thighs"

"Size doesn't matter" - G-U-L-L-I-B-L-E

"The kitchen is so inconvenient" - "I want a new house"

"Hang the picture there" - "No, I mean hang it there"

"I heard a noise" - "I noticed you were almost asleep"

"Do you love me?" - "I'm thinking about buying something really expensive"

"How much do you love me?" - "I did something today you're really not going to like"

"You have to learn to communicate" - "Just agree with me"

"Are you listening to me?" - "Too late mister, you're dead"

"Do you like this recipe?" - "It's easy to make so you'd better get used to it"

"I'm not yelling" - "Of course I'm yelling...this is important"

"It's your decision" - "The correct decision should be obvious to you too, by now"

"Do what you want" - "You'll pay for this later"

"Whatever" - "You'll pay for this later"

"Fine" - "You'll pay for this later"

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