Empty Beer

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He put his hand around my neck
So that I could not Scream
He brought me up to his room
So we could not be seen
He took off all my wrappings
And gazed upon my form
As I stood cold and shivering
He stood there hot and warm
He touched me with his feverish lips
And placed me on my rear
He made me what I am today
A empty bottle of beer

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Nookie Days

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My nookie days are over
My pilot light is out
What used to be my sex appeal
is just my water spout
I used to be embarrassed
To make the thing behave
For every single morning
It used to watch me shave
But now I'm getting older
It sure gives me the blues
To see the thing hang down my leg
And watch me shine my shoes

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