January 31, 1999: Denver Broncos Stampede Over Dirty Birds
The Broncos defeated the Atlanta Falcons 34-19 in Super Bowl XXXIII to repeat as Super Bowl champs. I'm sure the Falcons will not pull a "Carolina Panthers" and fluke out and suck forever next year. Boy those Panthers suck.

September 11, 1998: KICK-OFF '98 BEGINS SEASON OF AWAKENING FOR MEN
The NFL season kicked off in a kick-ass fashion. Several thrillers highlighted the day, from the Jaguars last second win over the Bears to the 49ers' overtime win over the Jets (love those uniforms). Oh, by the way, Satan's team (the Cowboys) won. Big deal.

June 15, 1998: The Chicago Bulls Win Their Sixth Title in Eight Years with an 87-86 Win Over the Utah Jazz
Even though Michael "Whordan" appears to go out as a winner as deservedly so, I still believe that we have indeed witnessed Satan's longest stranglehold on the NBA.  I guess the prophecy in Revelation about God coming through on the 7th day (or preventing the Bulls from achieving title number 7) will be true after all.  H-m-mmmm.  Sumthin' to think about. ...meanwhile, like the suction cup, the Bulls suck.  I DO NOT CARE, ...damnit.

April 4, 1998: Tyrone Miller of Miami Univ. of Ohio Offically Named Head of Operations of Da Playas Club
Throughout the past few years, Tyrone Miller of Cincinnati, OH has been making the right moves in order to "be all he can be" in the art of macking.  It is through the use of his God-given ability to woo any honey in the land, he has decided to "stand in the gap" for the brotherhood.  Mr. Miller, ...you are indeed THE MAN.

March 30, 1998: Jeremy Winters of IBM Officially Named Vice-President of Operations of Klown, Inc.
Jeremy Winters of Dallas, TX followed the footsteps of roommate and fellow member of the brotherhood Darrin Gergely in "standing in the gap" to help humankind discover the joy of being a "klown in Christ".  A press conference via satellite is in the making.

Kevin Weeden and Steve Mather of Raleigh, NC Officially Named Vice-President and Chief Informations Officer of the Fooling Yourself Club
It's nice to have two fellow klowns in Christ "standing in the gap" in order to make this world a better place.  You two are indeed the "wind beneath my wings".  Klowns.

February 17, 1998: Darrin Gergely of GTE Officially Named President of the DieHard Company
Darrin Gergely of Dallas, TX has decided to "stand in the gap" once again, this time by being named as President of the DieHard Company.  Stay tuned for a press conference at a later date!!

February 2, 1998: Joseph Emmerth of Mishawaka, IN Officially Named Sargeant at Arms of the Fooling Yourself Club
This event marks another example of a fellow member of the brotherhood standing in the gap to make the world a better place for all.  Joseph Emmerth had earlier humbly nominated himself this position, which was later granted.  Here is the sterling example of a brother "standing in the gap":

Greetings, oh bearer of excellent news!

It's about time we got this thing organized!  Since we're on the subject
of cabinet members, I would like to humbly nominate myself for the
sargeant-at-arms office, since i spent the vast majority of my collegiate
career carrying the torch for some chick or another-------to no avail.
Oh, I almost forgot!  I just happened to stroll down to Weeden's
homepage, and lo and behold!  Who did I find under the heading of "the
Man"?--You!!!!
Congratulations on this long overdue honor, I can think of no one who
fits the description better, and who will work hard to maintain the
standards befitting one deserving of the office. :-)

Well, I'm off to screw some people's heads up........

JoJo Dancer

February 1, 1998: Christopher Loupe of Dallas, TX Officially Named President of the Fooling Yourself Club
Christopher Loupe has accepted the promotion to President of the Fooling Yourself Club (FYC).  Chris has shown the willingness and the drive to lead FYC into the 20th century, not to mention representing Klown, Inc. Only Chris truly knows what it means to be FYC 4-life!!  Here is what he had to say about what he'll do in office:

Let one and all know that I, after much thought, accept the position as
President of FYC.  I humbly accept all responsibilities which are
required therein.

Oh, by the way:
Never, EVER, doubt me.

Christopher A. Loupe
ChrisLoupe@juno.com

January 28, 1998: Mark D. Erickson of Paw Paw, MI Officially Named New Head of Operations of Woman Repellant Enterprises
Mark Erickson was named Head of Operations of Woman Repellant Enterprises.  The official announcement was made via e-mail at around 5 PM earlier this afternoon.  Stay tuned for his press conference at a later date.

A Faithful Member of the Brotherhood Helps in Keeping the Spirit of Klown, Inc. Alive
It is good to see members of the brotherhood and fellow klowns in Christ keep the light of Klown, Inc. burning brightly.  They remember the good times and the joy Klown, Inc. brought to people from all walks of life.  Oliver Hooser of Texas Christian University is one of those people.  Here is a rather touching e-mail he sent me today:

Hey Clown! Thanks for the update.  We have national clown day here at TCU
that I instituted last year.  We all wear our brightest shirts with some
form of North Carolina logo, and we try to make our hair look like we have
fros.

Anyway, I am trying to graduate in May from Texas Christian University in
Fort Worth.  I am also searching for a job in Marketing.  I saw Jeremy
Winters last week.  He is also pulling in the loot working for IBM in
Dallas.

Take Care Bro!!

January 27, 1998: Mark D. Erickson of Paw Paw, MI to Be Named New Head of Operations of Woman Repellant Enterprises
I am going to make the announcement official perhaps as early as tomorrow.  Mark Erickson, I am proud to elevate you in one of the most prestigious positions in Klown, Inc.

December 15, 1997: Darrin Gergely of GTE Resigns as Head of Operations of Woman Repellant Enterprises 
It takes a real man to do what he has to do.  Darrin, my friend, you will always be part of the Brotherhood.  Here is Darrin's letter of resignation:

Dear Klown,

I find it my duty to inform you and my fellow brethren of Woman
Repellant Enterprises, and our parent corporation Klown, Inc. that I
have been involved in traitorous activities with a member of the
opposite sex and must herewith resign from my office as Head of
Operations of Woman Repellant Enterprises (WRE).

During my time as Head of WRE, from 1995 to 1997, I witnessed first hand
the absolute blindness of many women to look at the heart of a man. I
saw them take a man in and then chew him up before spitting him back
out. I did my best to save the souls of those I could, but often to no
avail.  Some of the great men that I witnessed fall, and tried my best
to save from this tyranny, were Brandon Duke and Tony Hillerson. Rumor
has it that even my prized pupil/freshman, David Grygier, has fallen.

These can all be explained away to one short coming or another...but my
act, I am afraid, cannot.  I have betrayed the brotherhood, in the most
vile and despicable way.  While standing on the front lines and
condemning the "evil" I have gone and taken one as my own.  I am not
worthy to lead WRE and rather than face impeachment I am resigning. Do
not hold my weakness against me.  My major regret from my tenure is that
I could not have saved more.

In naming a recommendation to the board, which I hope I may in some way
persuade, I considered a list of a about 50 names.  Out of all of these,
one man rose to the top for his treatment of the "evil", his dating
techniques, his mental instability, the fact that no one really knows
whether he received a college degree, and for his lack of hair.  He is
one of our experts in psychological warfare (which "evil" often
deploys) and has a long and remarkable list of women he has repelled
(for a complete listing please also consult with Former Head of
Operations Jeremy Winters of IBM.)  He almost single handedly repelled
the English during part of the Swan Wars, when they attempted to win
some of our men.  This man is Mark D. Erickson of PawPaw, MI.  I feel
confident that Mark will be able to lead WRE well into the 21st Century
and beyond.

Humbly,
Darrin C. Gergely of GTE
Former Head of Operations