EPISODE 1: RETURN TO MIAMI
Lucas comes up to her putting on his tie)
LUCAS
You know if you put on anymore make up you're gonna look like a clown.
DOROTHY
(laughs a little) I wanna make sure I look my best.
LUCAS
You already look perfect if you ask me.
DOROTHY
You're not Blanche.
LUCAS
Well not last time I checked, I could check again if you'd like.
DOROTHY
(laughs) No, I mean no matter how good another woman looks Blanche always has something negative to say. She can't stand for another woman to look better than she does. Well now I AM gonna be looking better than her and I am gonna enjoy every minute of it
LUCAS
So you're gonna put on tons of make up, wear an expensive dress, just to upset her?
DOROTHY
Damn straight.
LUCAS
Well I will never understand how you all were able to live together for 7 years.
DOROTHY
We depended on each other, we confided in each other, cared for each other and was a family.
LUCAS
So are you gonna tell them that we're broke?
DOROTHY
No, what business is it of theirs?
(Blanche is dusting off the front desk
Rose comes up with a vase full of flowers)
ROSE
I am SO excited that Dorothy is coming.
BLANCHE
(excited) Oh me too, me too.
ROSE
I can't believe it's been over a year since we've seen her last.
BLANCHE
Yeah I know. I bet she's let her looks go all to hell.
ROSE
Blanche how can you say that?
BLANCHE
Well before she met us she wasn't attractive, didn't know how to fix her hair, couldn't get a date, then when she met me I totally turned her life around and made her very popular.
ROSE
I think Dorothy did some of it herself.
BLANCHE
You're right, after all she did put on the make up herself.
ROSE
Is Sophia gonna be here?
BLANCHE
(sarcastic) No Rose, she'd rather spend the week at Shady Pines than with her daughter.
ROSE
(confused) Isn't that kind of selfish of her? I mean after all it's been over a year.
BLANCHE
(rolls her eyes) Never mind.
(Alex Montgomery comes up to Blanche as Rose passes him. A man in his mid 50's, very stuck up approaches them)
ALEX
Mrs. Deveaurex?
BLANCHE
(sighs) Hello Mr. Montgomery.
ALEX
Have you thought of my offer?
BLANCHE
Mr. Montgomery, we have no desire to sell this hotel
ALEX
But I have offered you a sizable price. More than what this place is worth.
BLANCHE
This place means a lot to us.
ALEX
Well, pretty soon you will be begging me to buy this place. Good day. (walks away)
BLANCHE
(gets mad) That man! Oh fiddle dee dee, I'll worry about him tomorrow. (slams her fist on the front desk and the vase falls) Oh Damn! (moves to the floor to pick it up)
DOROTHY
(comes up to the front desk) Mrs. Deveauex?
BLANCHE
(thinking it's Alex) What do you want you hateful old man? (surprised) Dorothy! Oh my God honey I'm sorry, I thought you were..oh never mind
(hugs Dorothy) Oh I have missed you.
DOROTHY
I've missed you too.
LUCAS
(comes up from behind) Have you missed me too?
BLANCHE
(laughs) Oh come here you. (hugs Lucas) I have missed you both so much.
ROSE
(comes up) Dorothy?!?
DOROTHY
(hugs Rose) Rose how are you?
ROSE
I'm good, I've missed you so much, I haven't missed anyone this so much since back in St. Olaf when my cousin, Ida joined an all chicken band and went away for 5 years.
BLANCHE
Rose...Dorothy and Lucas is gonna be here a week, let's not make them cut the trip short.
ROSE
(confused) Why would they cut the trip short?
DOROTHY
Don't worry about it Rose. Where's ma?
BLANCHE
She's at Shady Pines.
DOROTHY
I wish she was here right now.
SOPHIA
(at the door) You wished me, you got me.
DOROTHY
MA!!! (runs up to Sophia and hugs her)
SOPHIA
Easy easy...I'm old and fragile, kind of like Shady Pines.
DOROTHY
I've missed you ma.
SOPHIA
(walks away) Oh you're such a liar.
ROSE
I thought you wasn't coming Sophia.
SOPHIA
Who told you that?
ROSE
Blanche did.
BLANCHE
Rose don't be...STUPID! (smiling)
ROSE
But you said...
BLANCHE
Let's get you two settled, we've saved the best room in the hotel for you two.
ROSE
I thought you had the best room of the hotel.
BLANCHE
(grinning) Shut up Rose.
DOROTHY
We don't wanna be any trouble.
BLANCHE
Oh it's no trouble at all. By the way I love your make up Dorothy.
DOROTHY
Really Blanche?
BLANCHE
No, but I haven't seen you in so long any make up is good, even if it does make you look like a clown.
(Everyone is sitting in the resturant. No other guests are in the resturant at the hotel. It's around midnight)
BLANCHE
I can't believe it's been over a year since we've all been together.
SOPHIA
I can.
DOROTHY
Ma!
SOPHIA
What? You used to call every day, then every day started turning into once a week, then that turned into you calling one of the nurses at Shady Pines and telling them to tell me you said hi and have me tell the nurse to tell you I said hi back. I was tempted just to tape record me saying "hi", so everytime she came in the room all I'd have to do is push the play button.
DOROTHY
Ma, I'm sorry, we've just been so busy.
SOPHIA
You mean you actually have a life now?
LUCAS
I'm taking good care of her Sophia.
SOPHIA
Who cares how you're taking care of her, I'm more interested to know how she's taking care of you.
DOROTHY
(sarcastic) Thank you for your love and support ma, it's always been appreciated.
SOPHIA
Anytime pussycat. I need some more coffee, they don't serve us coffee in Shady Pines anymore, they'll afraid we'll come out of our zombie state and be able to complain to the visitors. (walking towards the kitchen)
ROSE
If it's so bad Sophia why did you move back?
SOPHIA
Cause I'm an old woman Rose, I walk slower then an earthworm, but compared to everyone else there I'm Speedy Sophia. (walks in the kitchen)
BLANCHE
So, tell us, what have you two been up to?
DOROTHY
(pauses and looks at Lucas) The usual
BLANCHE
Oh.. Hollandsworth Manor I bet is still expanding
LUCAS
Not really
ROSE
I can't believe how big it is.
DOROTHY
It has over 100 rooms.
ROSE
Wow! Have you been to all of them?
DOROTHY
Yeah.
ROSE
Can I ask you a question? When you go to a room, how do you know whether or not you've already been there?
DOROTHY
(sarcastic) We engrave the date we were in there into the wall.
ROSE
(believes it) Oh okay. But what if both of you go in there on two different days?
LUCAS
Let me handle this.
We put our initals in the walls right next to the date.
ROSE
(smiles) Gotcha.
BLANCHE
I wish you could stay longer than a week. Things aren't the same without you here.
DOROTHY
I know what you mean.
LUCAS
Well I'm tired, I think I'm gonna go to bed. Good night dear. (kisses Dorothy)
DOROTHY
Good night darling.
(Lucas leaves)
SOPHIA
(comes back) Where's Lucas?
DOROTHY
He went up to bed ma. (pause, Sophia sits down) I can't believe I'm really here.
BLANCHE
So now that it's just us....tell us...is the sex still good?
DOROTHY
Blanche!! Is that all you think about it?
SOPHIA
She's a slut and a nymphomaniac, what else should she think about? Stamps?
ROSE
What's a nymphomaniac?
SOPHIA
You should know, you live with one.
ROSE
(confused) I live with a gold fish Sophia. He acts like a maniac sometimes, course that's usually when I'm feeding him, other than that he doesn't really move, unless I'm telling him a story, then he hides behind some grass I put in there. I guess it's so he can hear better.
(Everyone just sits there wondering)
DOROTHY
How have you all been lately?
BLANCHE
Well I'm seeing a handsome lawyer named Mark.
DOROTHY
Oh really?
BLANCHE
Yeah, Becky and Oreo just adore him.
DOROTHY
Blanche, her name is Aurora, why do you insist on calling her Oreo?
BLANCHE
Well it just feels weird having a granddaughter named after a Greek God.
DOROTHY
But making it sound like she was named after a cookie is better?
BLANCHE
(fake smile) So, you and Lucas, do much?
DOROTHY
(sarcastic) No Blanche, we sit around eating bon bons all day long in our underwear.
BLANCHE
Kinky!! Got any pictures?
ROSE
Blanche!!
BLANCHE
Sorry.
ROSE
Do you have it on videotape?
DOROTHY
(sighs) So what do you all wanna do tomorrow? Lucas is gonna go play golf all day so we can spend the day together.
BLANCHE
Well, we could go to The Rusty Anchor if you'd like. I'm just as popular as ever.
SOPHIA
Yep, almost as popular as me.
DOROTHY
Ma you go to that bar?
SOPHIA
Who said about going to a bar? I thought you were talking about our Poker Club at Shady Pines.
DOROTHY
Rose what have you been doing?
ROSE
Hotel, fish, telling St. Olaf stories.
SOPHIA
Like anyone cares. I'll tell you something interesting, (pause) never mind, you'll be an accessory if I tell ya.
BLANCHE
(nervous laugh) You'll have to excuse Sophia, ever since you left, she's been lonely.
SOPHIA
Who says? I don't have to answer to anyone, I get to go out anytime I want, and I have a boyfriend, oh yeah I'm lonely.
DOROTHY
Glad you haven't lost it ma.
SOPHIA
Oh I lost that when I was 16.
ROSE
Lost what Sophia?
DOROTHY
Her hair Rose. That's a wig she's wearing.
ROSE
Oohh. Well why did you pick a wig with gray hair? Personally I would have gone with a darker color to bring out your eyes
SOPHIA
Rose shut up.
DOROTHY
You know I think I'm getting tired also. Good Night. (goes upstairs)
ALL
Good Night
SOPHIA
She's hiding something.
BLANCHE
Sophia why do you say that?
SOPHIA
I know my daughter and I know when someone's hiding something. Of course in her case it's also cellulite.
ROSE
I don't think...
SOPHIA
No you don't, glad you're finally admitting it.
ROSE
What I was gonna say is...I don't think Dorothy is hiding anything. She's just happy to be with us. And I do so think. How do you think I do the books around here?
SOPHIA
(stands up) Badly!
(Rose comes in with a horn and blows it in Dorothy's room
Dorothy jerks up quickly and looks up at Rose)
DOROTHY
Rose, what in the hell are you doing?
ROSE
(smiling) This is how we give our guests the wake up call they request.
DOROTHY
But I didn't request a wake up call.
ROSE
That's cause you didn't know about the wake up call. (giggles) Well now that you're up, are you ready to go out?
DOROTHY
(sarcastic) Yeah sure, just let me put on my slippers and I can go out in my nightgown and give your guests a thrill.
BLANCHE
(comes up) Dorothy, aren't you ready to go yet?
DOROTHY
I just got woken up by Captain Horn Blower.
BLANCHE
(takes the horn away from Rose) Oh Rose...I told you not to use this horn on Dorothy. It takes a trumpet to wake up Dorothy, you know that.
ROSE
Oh yeah!
DOROTHY
Here's an idea, why don't the two of you just install loud speakers above the bed and play rock and roll.
ROSE
Not a bad idea. But I'm not sure if we have an extension cord that long.
DOROTHY
(sighs) Someone remind me why I came here?
(Dorothy, Sophia, Blanche and Rose are walking out to the car)
DOROTHY
By the way, who's driving?
SOPHIA
I'll drive.
DOROTHY
Ma, you will not.
SOPHIA
Well why the hell did you ask?
BLANCHE
I'll drive. (looking at a man in a car) There's an attractive man in that BMW up ahead I have my eye on. I'll use my sexy leg to steer the steering wheel while pressing my perky boozoms up to the window and blow kisses while he falls in love with me.
DOROTHY
Rose can you drive?
ROSE
I would, but I've had my license suspended for going too slow.
DOROTHY
Why were you going so slow?
ROSE
Oh yeah like it's my fault...I'm the only person who thought they were in a parade and wasn't three times in one day.
DOROTHY
I'll drive.
SOPHIA
Why can't I drive?
DOROTHY
Because I want to live a little while longer.
(They are in the car)
DOROTHY
(driving) So where are we going?
ROSE
How about to the mall? They are having an animal bingo bonanza over there.
DOROTHY
How about we go shopping?
SOPHIA
You make it sound like we've never done it before.
DOROTHY
Ma why are you so cranky?
SOPHIA
Please...this isn't cranky, if I go another month without getting lucky, then you will see cranky. I'm actually in a good mood, despite the fact that I haven't had a bowel movement in 5 days, got a boyfriend who thinks I'm a guy, and I'm stuck in the car with The Boring, The Slutty And The Idiot. But hey I'm into it.
ROSE
Which one am I Sophia?
BLANCHE
(looking at a guy in the car next to them) Oh God.
DOROTHY
Try not to let her get to ya Blanche.
BLANCHE
Oh no not her. I'm looking at this guy next to us. Oh he is so good looking.
DOROTHY
(looks over) He is kinda cute.
BLANCHE
He's undressing me with his eyes.
ROSE
Blanche he's not even looking at you.
BLANCHE Well of course Rose. He would wreck if he looked at my constantly.
DOROTHY
It's good to know nothing has changed around here.
(They are looking at clothes)
BLANCHE
Dorothy, what do you think of this dress? (holds up a sexy black dress) Don't you think it draws attention to my perky boozoms and skinny neck?
SOPHIA
It can't draw attention to something that's not there.
DOROTHY
Ma! Be nice. (to Blanche) Although she is right. BLANCHE
Oh really? And I suppose you think you would look good in something like this?
DOROTHY
As a matter of fact I think I would look beautiful in it.
BLANCHE
Oh Dorothy, sweet unattractive delirious Dorothy. You couldn't wear this dress.
DOROTHY
What does that mean?
BLANCHE
Just that, oh it doesn't matter. Let's go to another store.
DOROTHY
No I wanna know what you meant!
BLANCHE
Would you please lower your voice? I do not want to cause a scene.
DOROTHY
Oh forgive me, I forgot how you like to cause your scenes with another man and with an audience already in place.
BLANCHE
Are you saying that you think I am a slut?
DOROTHY No I wouldn't say that, if I said that every time I thought it I would have lost my voice by now.
SOPHIA
Save your voice pussycat, just have it made into a stamper.
ROSE
Oh Blanche already has, it's in her closet.
BLANCHE
You stay out of this Rose.
ROSE
I just thought it would save money and they could just use yours.
DOROTHY
Oh shut up Rose.
ROSE
What did I do?
SOPHIA
You got a couple hours?
ROSE
Yeah.
SOPHIA
Then shut up for those 2 hours.
ROSE
I don't have to shut up.
DOROTHY
You do this every time I'm here Blanche. You even did it while we were living together. You always tried to make me feel like I wasn't attractive.
BLANCHE
That is not true.
DOROTHY
It is so true. Every time my self esteem got a little high you were always there to shoot it down.
BLANCHE
Well if I didn't you would have just floated right out of the room.
DOROTHY
What does that mean?
BLANCHE
It means you got married and left us to go to Atlanta to be rich and popular and you just forgot all about us except for a monthly call and a visit once a year. We're supposed to be friends and you don't even act like we exist.
DOROTHY That is not true. You could always come visit me and Lucas.
BLANCHE We tried..every time we did your housekeepers would tell us how busy you were and how you couldn't be disturbed by petty people like us.
DOROTHY
I didn't know.
BLANCHE
Didn't know, didn't care.
DOROTHY
You know, I'm sorry I came back here.
BLANCHE
Well you know what, I'm sorry you came back too.
ROSE
Dorothy, Blanche you don't mean that.
SOPHIA
Shush you nitwit, this is getting good.
ROSE
I am not a nitwit!
BLANCHE
Could have fooled me.
ROSE
I am so sick and tired of you all acting like I'm dumb.
DOROTHY
It's no act.
ROSE
You think I'm dumb?
SOPHIA
No thinking involved, you are dumb.
ROSE (starts crying) All of you are so cruel well you know what, you all can go to...
DOROTHY
To where Rose? To the moon?
ROSE
You wanna know where you can go, you can go straight to...down under. (runs off)
DOROTHY
Now are you happy?
BLANCHE
Me? I didn't do anything. Now if you will excuse me, I have a hotel to run. (walks away)
SOPHIA
I still love you pussy cat.
DOROTHY
(gives Sophia a little nudge) Ahh, shut up.
(Dorothy is packing, still very upset. Lucas comes in)
LUCAS
Is it next week already?
DOROTHY
We're leaving. We all had a fight.
LUCAS
Oh I see. Are you sure you really wanna leave?
DOROTHY
Absoultely.
LUCAS
Alright. (starts packing too and they both head downstairs)
BLANCHE
Good bye Mr and Mrs Hollandsworth.
DOROTHY
Good bye desk clerk bimbo.
ROSE
Blanche say something.
BLANCHE
I hope you enjoyed your stay please don't come again.
SOPHIA
Hold it! I can't let you leave pussycat.
DOROTHY
Ma, stay out of this.
SOPHIA
No! You two are doing something very wrong. You're throwing away the best friendship either of you have ever had. And I can't let that happen.
DOROTHY
Ma.
SOPHIA
I'm not finished.
BLANCHE
Sophia, there's nothing more to say. Dorothy thinks I'm a cold hearted bimbo and as far as I'm concerned the friendship IS over.
SOPHIA
Well it shouldn't be. Picture it, Miami, a few years ago.
ROSE
Miami Florida?
SOPHIA
No, Miami, Italy. Of course Miami Florida.
DOROTHY
Ma, please don't tell a story.
SOPHIA
Shut up, I'm old, who knows how many more stories I'm gonna be able to tell. Now let me start again unless someone else wants to interrupt. (they all look at Lucas)
LUCAS
I'm good.
SOPHIA
Well I'll ask Dorothy that later but right now I'm telling a story. Now, Miami, a few years ago. Three women who have become good friends, very close friends make a pact. A pact that will last them for the rest of their lives. Each one of them swears to always be friends and always be there for each other.
DOROTHY
Ma, that pact is broken.
ROSE
It doesn't have to be does it? It was just a fight. Not a war. Can we please make up?
BLANCHE & DOROTHY
NO!
SOPHIA
Well let me finish my story. Now in the future..Miami..10 years from now, the same three women are all alone and scared. Thinking about each other and wishing they had made up, cause now all they left is the silence of being alone.
BLANCHE
Are you saying if we don't make up now we're gonna regret it for the rest of our lives?
SOPHIA
Yep, and the rest of your life isn't long but it'll feel like it.
BLANCHE
(stuck up) I don't know.
DOROTHY
Blanche, I'm, I'm sorry.
BLANCHE
Oh me too, me too.
(Rose, Blanche and Dorothy hug)
SOPHIA
Well I did it again. (looks at Lucas) I'm the glue that kept us all friends ya know?
LUCAS
Oh really?
SOPHIA
Yeah without me they'd be in a nursing home sipping juice out of a straw
You know I'm a pretty good shrink, maybe I'll go back to school and get my master's.
LUCAS
What are you saying Mrs. Patrillo?
SOPHIA
I think I'm saying I forgot my medication again. Come help me find it. I think I left it somewhere in the kitchen.
(Lucas and Sophia leave)
DOROTHY
And I want you all to know something. (sighs) Lucas and me are broke. We lost all our money.
BLANCHE
Oh no!
DOROTHY
We used the rest of our money to come here.
ROSE
You have no money?
DOROTHY
A few dollars, and a lot of debts.
BLANCHE
Why you money grubbing jezabell.
DOROTHY
What?
BLANCHE
You married a rich man and spent all his money, why I could just..
ROSE
Blanche!!
BLANCHE
Oh...sorry...(nervous laugh) Forgot we made up. Is there anything we can do to help?
DOROTHY
Is there any way maybe we could stay here awhile.
BLANCHE
Of course you can.> (smiles)
ALAN
(comes up) Good day ladies...Mrs. Deverauex, I would like to double my offer on the hotel.
BLANCHE
I just had an idea. (looks at Rose) Rose, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
ROSE
(giggles) No, I don't have a clue.
BLANCHE
Come here. (whispers the idea) What do you think?
ROSE
I love it!!
BLANCHE
Alright, Mr. Montgomery you have a deal.
DOROTHY
What are you talking about?
ROSE
We're gonna sell the hotel.
DOROTHY
What?
BLANCHE
Yep, and we're gonna buy a house and invite you and Lucas and Sophia to live with us.
DOROTHY
I can't let you do that.
BLANCHE
We want to. Mr. Montgomery do you have the papers for me to sign?
ALLAN
(smiles) I hoped you'd change your mind. (takes out the papers) Here you are.
BLANCHE
(signs them) Rose, your turn.
ROSE
(signs) Here you are.
ALLAN
And here is your check. (hands it to them) Good day ladies.
BLANCHE
Wow!! I've never seen so many 0's. Well it's all set.
DOROTHY
I don't know what to say.
BLANCHE
Say you wanna be roommates again.
DOROTHY
Oh yes..yes yes yes!
(they all hug)
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