I gave someone access to something I shouldn't of even had access to myself, and now this person has been hurt horribly.

I feel so bad for letting all of this happen.

I just want to curl up into a corner and die

I know this is probably for the best that this person knows this shit, but why do I feel so damn shitty about it?!

I hate seeing people hurting inside.

If only I would've kept my fucking sorry mouth shut.

I hate myself.

If only I could kill myself by throwing myself out of my ground-floor apartment. Then things would be so much better.

On another cheery note, I actually contemplated suicide on sunday. I was home alone all day and I thought to myself "This is too perfect" I wanted to do it so badly.

I felt like it was my only option. As if there was no reason to continue living...

I still don't see if there is one...