A Chinnie Affair
“Encore! Encore!” The royal court was delighted with the hilarious antics of the king’s newest entertainment; the Court Jester called “Moe”. The raggedy chin in his brightly-coloured outfit and stunning multicoloured cloak danced around the stage, making faces and playing charades. All were enthralled, except for one. Princess Bumpster snuck out through a secret doorway behind a tapestry and slipped away towards the chambers of Sir JR. This was her last chance! He was going away with her father to fight the evil degu leader, King Midnight, and if she was to tell him how she felt, this was it!
“Oh, JR, I wish you didn’t have to go!” Princess Butterball stopped dead in her tracks. This wasn’t part of her plan!
“I swore to defend king and country, and you know I will never let down Chinland so long as I have breath in my body, Nibbles. Don’t cry, love…I won’t be gone for long.”
“Hmph!!!” Princess Butterball stomped her little chinnie foot. So, the Lady Nibbles was to blame! She’d just have to have a word with her mother about it. Lady Nibbles was, after all, Queen Helen’s lady in waiting.
“Looking for someone?” The princess jumped! She whirled around to see Buh-buh, the captain of the king’s guard. She relaxed, and smiled. “Hi, Buh-buh. No, I was just on my way to go see mother. What brings you to this part of the castle?”
“Oh, just keeping an eye on my favourite little princess! Making sure you keep out of trouble. Besides, I heard the good news. I wanted to congratulate you!”
“What good news?”
“Why, your engagement to Lord Butterball of course!!!”
“What?!?!?!”
“Uh…you didn’t know? I thought you would be thrilled! After all, you did let me know that there was someone you were fond of. You and Butterball are such great friends, your mother and father assumed…”
“Well, they assumed wrong! Butterball is a terrific friend, but he’s…he’s…he’s the fool of the realm!”
A shadowy figure slips into the night. Down the castle walls he climbs, nimbly, agilely. He jumps from the last window sill, landing softly on his feet, and runs into the forest. A dark cape flutters behind him, its hood concealing his face. Soon, he is swallowed up by the blackness of the woods.
“You made it.” The figure by the fire spoke without lifting his head.
“Yeah. It was hard, because everyone wanted to speak to the wonderful ‘Court Jester Moe’.” The hooded figure spat derisively, and sat down ungracefully across the fire from his friend. He lifted the hood from his head to reveal his raggedy, bitten fur. “I hate this charade, but if it’s what I have to do to protect the king…”
“Yes. Someone must be with the people, finding out who the traitor is who has been sending information to King Midnight.”
“Yeah, but why did it have to be me?”
“Because I’m a dark elf, and any chin with two eyes in his head would see that at first glance! Besides, do you know the way to the Wizard Furbles’ cave?”
“Well, no. I guess you’re right. Still, it’s not easy going. They love to laugh at my stupid antics, but no one tells me anything.”
“You can’t expect someone to walk up to you and announce that they are a traitor! You have to be crafty…listen at doors…with your fur-biting problem, they’ll more than likely assume that you are just mad and leave it at that.”
“All right. When do we meet again?”
“I’m not sure. I will get a message to you after I meet with the Wizard. Perhaps with his aid, we will be able to put an end to this war once and for all…”
“Ha! I’ve got you this time! Surrender or die, oh mighty prince!”
“You’ll never take me alive! Take that!” The prince sprang up from the ground and tackled his best friend, Paige Murphy, knocking him to the ground. The two laughed and rolled in the straw. After awhile, Prince Benjy turned to Murphy and asked him, “So are you worried about going to war tomorrow?”
Murphy thought for a moment, but shook his head. “No. I trust your father; he’ll take good care of me. Besides, who would look after you without me around? Why, I bet you couldn’t even put your own shirt on without my help!”
“Why you insulting little rat! I’d like to see you come over here and say that!”
With a huge grin, Murphy walked up until he was standing nose to nose with Benjy, and taunted “You couldn’t even put your own shirt on without my help!”
Benjy drew his wooden sword, and the two chins “fought” amidst much laughter and revelry. Neither of them noticed the shadow outside the door. And why would they? It was there for a moment, and gone before blocking the sun from their eyes.
The shadow left the stables and moved towards the castle. These children could not tell him what he needed to know.
Izzy and Lizzy, the pretty twin Peasant chins bustled around their tiny kitchen, making one last supper for their father before he left. The next day, he would leave to fight in the king’s army. They had done everything they could…they had packed his armor, a warm blanket, and plenty of food. They worried about him constantly. He just hadn’t been the same since the death of their mother 2 years earlier.
“Tap tap tap!” A knock at the door!
“Who could that be?” Lizzy wondered aloud, with a huge grin at Izzy. Izzy ran and glanced in the mirror, smoothing her fur and straightening her dress. She opened the door and curtseyed to Sammy. She smiled at his thoughtfulness; instead of his usual bouquet of flowers he had brought a roll of bandages to be included in her father’s supplies.
“Thank you so much! Please come in.” Izzy held the door wide.
Sammy limped in. The loss of his leg as a child had prevented him from enlisting in the war, and he wanted very badly to go. But he was content to stay home and court Izzy, and to take care of her and her sister as best he could while their father was away.
“Daddy, I won’t have it!!!” Princess Bumpster stormed into the throne room and defiantly glared at her father.
King Gordy closed his eyes momentarily, and prayed that God would give him the patience to deal with his oldest child. Always in trouble, ever finding new mischief to get into, she was very special to the king and he hated to do this to her. Still, it was time she settled down, and soon too. The king was getting on in years and wanted to see some little grandbaby chins running around the palace. Death seemed so close with the war looming overhead.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. But you know we talked about this. You haven’t presented me with any other suitable candidates, and you and Butterball are such good friends dearest. Please, don’t make a fuss. The wedding is to be held tonight…the preparations are made. We gave you as much time as we could, but we leave for war tomorrow…anything could happen out there.”
“If you make me marry Butterball, I’ll never forgive you as long as I live!”
King Gordy hung his head. This child of his was so stubborn! Perhaps his advisors were right…marriage would calm her down and make her more submissive. Besides, how many chins her age were still unmarried? Most of them had already had a litter or two of their own babies.
“You and Butterball will be wed before the sun sets today, or you will be sent to the nunnery.”
Princess Butterball fled the room in tears, and the king was seen to wipe his own eye once with the back of his paw. He quickly regained his composure, though, and sent a summons for the Princess’s ladies to prepare her for the ceremony.
“Ouch!” Prince Benjy winced and tugged at his bow tie. “Do you have to make it so tight?”
“Yes! You’re the best man. You have to look perfect! Well, not so perfect as the bride, but still…” Murphy straightened the tie, slapping Benjy’s hands down. He smoothed the coat across the other chin’s shoulders and then stepped back to look at him with approval.
“You know, sometimes you really do act like an old wife.” Benjy remarked thoughtlessly. Murphy didn’t say anything, but glared at him to discredit the very idea.
The two chins ran around the room a couple of times making sure they hadn’t forgotten anything. Benjy found Murphy’s hat and Murphy found Benjy’s corsage, and pinned it on him. They were finally ready! They bolted from the door towards the chapel.
On the way they ran into Moe. He was slouched beside Buh-buh’s door, and appeared to be sleeping. Benjy shook him awake. “Come on, do you want to miss it?” he quickly asked, then continued towards the chapel, laughing with Murphy at the memory of the raggedy chin’s antics the previous day.
Moe glared at their backs as they went. As if they had any idea! One day he would show them. He glanced one more time at the door he had been pretending to sleep on, then silently slipped down the hall away from the wedding. He knew a secret way in, and wanted to keep an eye on the crowd.
Izzy and Lizzy were beyond excited. Imagine, an invitation to a royal wedding! Of course, the entire kingdom had been invited; nevertheless it was an honour. They dressed in their finest gowns, simple as they were, and carefully groomed their fur.
“Lizzy?” Izzy sounded a bit shy.
“What? Don’t be worried dearest, whatever it is, I’ll understand! Did you break one of the saucers again?” Lizzy chuckled. Izzy and her clumsy paws!
“I don’t know how to tell you this. Sammy has asked me to marry him. And I said yes!”
Lizzy threw her hands into the air and cheered! “Well it’s about time! He certainly has been courting you for long enough! What wonderful news! When is the wedding to be?”
Izzy blushed. “We haven’t decided yet. Oh, I’m so glad you aren’t angry with me!”
“Angry? Why on earth would I be angry with you?”
“Well, I had thought that it would be rather lonely if you took off and got married on me. I don’t want to leave you alone.”
“Well, with your engagement, and the Princess’s wedding, love must be in the air somewhere! Perhaps I shall get married and then you won’t have to worry about your old spinster sister!”
Both chins laughed and, arm in arm headed to the royal chapel for the wedding.
Princess Bumpster lay in her beautiful new room with her handsome new husband…and she was miserable. How dare her father do this to her? Yes, she and Butterball were great friends. But to be married to such an idiot! It was outrageous! And how were she and Sir JR ever to be married with Butterball in the way? Full of anger, she rolled over and went to sleep.
Outside her door, a shadow whisked away. He knew now where he needed to be. The princess was safe with her new husband…but the king! He was not so sure.
Moe, the court jester needed some help. He had uncovered the traitor…but who would believe him, the court jester? He was considered even more of an idiot than Butterball! He could only hope that Drizzt would be successful in his mission…
Even as Moe was uncovering secrets back home, Drizzt was nearing the home of the Wizard Furbles high in the mountains. Finally, he could see his destination…a cave, of all things, with a moon-shaped stone above the mouth. Even though it was day, the stone glittered and glowed as if it were night. And the inside of the cave did very closely resemble that black that can only be shown by the absence of the sun. Taking a deep breath, Drizzt stepped into the cave.
“DON’T MOVE ANOTHER INCH!!!” a voice boomed. Drizzt froze in fear, and out came a HUGE chin! He looked rather reptilian, and Drizzt wondered whether he was going to be chewed or licked. But instead, the dragon reached out his paw to shake Drizzt’s. “I am Bamboo, one of the rare Dragon chins. I serve Wizard Furbles and would be pleased to escort you to his chambers, if you would like.”
Drizzt’s jaw dropped, but being a dark elf chin, he had seen stranger things than this. He gracefully bowed to the dragon chin and gestured with his hand for him to lead the way.
The wizard’s chambers were fascinating, with wood chews hanging everywhere and bowls of apple sauce, raisins, and other delicious looking treats everywhere. Drizzt licked his lips and twitched his whiskers. Such a feast! Then he saw the wizard, and he instantly relaxed, then wondered why he had. But the wizard’s presence was so comforting that he wasn’t suspicious at all.
“Welcome, Drizzt! I am Furbles, Wizard of Chinland, and friend to King Gordy, whom you are here to help, I presume? If you would be so kind, I would also appreciate you taking this potion back to the palace for me. It would appear that Butterball has need of it. His new little bride seems to have placed her affections elsewhere, and that won’t do. No! Won’t do at all.” The wizard moved around the room as he spoke, stirring solutions and pouring powders into small fish tanks.
“But how did you know?” Drizzt asked in wonder.
“Boy, did you come to see a wizard or a florist? Magic, of course! And I know exactly what you need. In fact, there’s no magic involved! Just tell the king to…” Furbles beckoned the dark elf chin close and whispered in his ear.
“Why that’s incredible! So simple, yet I’d believe you if you told me that grass was purple if you said that first!”
The wizard nodded in satisfaction. “Now, sit down and have a bite to eat. You have a long trip ahead of you. And many dangers on the way, I’ll warrant! In fact, I’d better send Bamboo with you when you go.”
And so it was that when Drizzt left, he did not leave alone.
The wizard was right. About everything. First of all, Bamboo proved to be an invaluable asset to Drizzt, providing with company, someone to snuggle up to at night, and even a source of food as he always seemed to know the best places to find grains and apples.
He was also right about dangers. First the two had had to pick their way through a recent avalanche. They triggered a smaller one, and it was only because Bamboo grabbed him by the base of the tail that Drizzt was not swept away.
Then they had walked across a frozen lake and Bamboo had fallen through! This time Drizzt’s quick thinking had saved them both, as he ordered Bamboo to lie flat and showed him how to inch across the ice just by slithering, so it wouldn’t crack further.
But now…the two were sitting in a net, high in a tree with a group of enemy degus dancing around victoriously underneath, and Drizzt feared that they would not be able to chew their way out of this one…
What will happen next? Will Drizzt and Bamboo be able to make it back to Chinland to give Furbles’ message to the king? Will Princess Bumpster settle down in her marriage to Butterball, or will she have her own way and steal Sir JR from the lady Nibbles? Will Moe find a way to tell the king about the traitor? And if he does, will anyone believe that a jester is actually a royal spy? What about Lizzy’s unfound romance? Be sure to watch for
Part II of “A Chinnie Affair”
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