Fun Fake Spam


I cannot take credit for any of these witty or humourous pieces of handiwork. All credit must be returned to Activegrams who created these Activespams. I just wanted to share them all with you. Check out the site by the way, they have awesome animated stuff to e-mail to your friends.

For all us pet lovers:

The Petsphere 2000

If you have received this unsolicited advertisment by mistake, we apologize! In the interest of sales, we can not in good conscience respect your privacy! READ ON!!

ARE YOU TIRED OF LOSING HOUSEHOLD PETS TO NATURAL DISASTERS?!?!

DO YOU LIVE IN CONSTANT FEAR OF YOUR PET BEING KILLED IN A MASSIVE FLOOD OF NOACHIAN PROPORTIONS!?!?

ARE YOU WONDERING WHAT "NOACHIAN" MEANS?!?!?

READ ON!!!!

$24.95!!!

That's all it will cost to ensure that your pet is TOTALLY PROTECTED! Due to a ridiculously incredible advance in pet-safety technology, your small dog or largish cat can now experience COMPLETE SECURITY!!

How?

WITH THE PETSPHERE3000!!!!

The Petsphere3000 is completely unbreakable!

The Petsphere3000 is completely watertight!

The Petsphere3000 is a hollow plastic ball!

Simply place your pet inside Petsphere3000 and close the hatch! The Petsphere3000 does the rest! It creates an impermeable barrier of protection between your beloved animal and the outside world! It keeps the elements out while offering your dog or cat a clear view of its surroundings!

Of course you have your concerns! Feces! Urine! Oxygen supply! Urine! Will my pet roll uncontrollably down a steep hill and break its neck?!?!

All of these concerns are valid!

ORDER NOW!!!

PROTECT YOUR PET FOR ONLY $24.95 WITH PETSPHERE3000!!!

Please PRINT this form and CIRCLE the size of the Petsphere3000 you want to order. Then MAIL the form along with a check OR money order FOR $24.95 plus $4.95 shipping and HANDLING to:

Petsphere 3000

P.O. Box 12
Notarealoffer, ND 92134-0012

Size (circle one)

Imperceptably Smaller
Medium
Barely Noticeably Larger

YES! Send me a Petsphere3000 so that my pet can experience COMPLETE PROTECTION!!

NO! We do not know what "Noachian" means!

ORDER NOW!!!!

Not for the weak-stomached...

Pre-Chewed Bubble Gum

Here's a question -

Have you ever wanted to enjoy a nice piece of gum, BUT LACKED THE ENERGY TO CHEW IT?!?

In today's hectic, fast-paced world, life is a dizzying whirlwind of repetition...

Work, family, work, family, work, breakdown, work, family, work, family, breakdown, work, work, work, family, work...

Sometimes it can all be so draining, we barely have enough energy to drag ourselves through our soul-crushing daily routine, let alone move our jaws rhythmically!

Well, the days of toiling at a piece of hard, unforgiving gum as tears stream down your quivering face are about to come to an end, because--

PRE-CHEWED GUM IS HERE!!

That's right! Now, you'll be able to enjoy the sensation of chewing gum without the painful aggravation of applying pressure with your teeth!

With PRE-CHEWED GUM, all of the work has been done for you! All that's left for you to do is pop the soft, wet mass into your mouth and enjoy, enjoy, ENJOY!!

The magic of PRE-CHEWED GUM starts right here in Bartonville, Louisiana, where young Herman Salvigado chews 15,000 pieces of gum a day, and seals them in tiny plastic cannisters as soon as he removes them from his churning, slavering maw.

How does young Herman's mouth produce the saliva necessary to masticate and moisten so many pieces of gum?

Simple! Herman is a GLANDULAR MISFIT!!! Born with salivary glands 15 times as powerful as an ordinary human (after all, Salvigado can be rearranged to spell "Saliva God"), Herman can chew, chew, chew, all day long, and pass the benefits of his freakish body chemistry on to you, the consumer!

PRE-CHEWED GUM comes in three "After-Tastes":

Used-To-Be Strawberry
Pre-Slimed Lime
Backwash Bubble

At only $24.95 per wad-packed cannister, you can't NOT afford to buy PRE-CHEWED GUM now!!

To order, simply call 555-555-9432, and ask for Herman. If you can't understand a word he says, don't worry, he's preparing your order!!!

You may be asking yourself...PRE-CHEWED GUM?!?!

Well, we've got an answer for you...PRE-CHEWED GUM!!!

ORDER NOW!!!!

Now why don't they teach us THIS in school?

Educational Offer

WARNING!!!

The following information is for "educational purposes only", and should in no way be construed as a means of instructing people to BREAK THE LAW AND GET RICH DOING IT!!!!

Have you ever been intrigued by unsolved cases of grand larceny?

Have you ever thought to yourself, "For no other reason than to satisfy my own curiosity, I would like to know how the most successful large-scale robberies were committed"?

Have you ever wondered how the most sinister of criminals operate -- WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT?!?!

NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO FIND OUT!!!

For a "purely informational" set of literature, computer software, infrared scopes and lead-lined duffle bags, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope and $495.00 IN CASH to the following address:

Educational Offer

Attn: He Who Pulls The Strings

The Solar-Powered Chalet & Heliport

Somewhere In The Alps

Switzerland

Please allow 2 weeks for delivery by black van driven by mysterious courier with ambiguous affiliations. Thank you.

More to come soon! I'll keep you posted!

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