Metamorphosis of Narcissus

based on Salvador Dali's Painting, Oil on Canvas

 

I live.  In a state of rare existence

    of luxurious existentialism

in which I can tolerate, gorge.

And thrive.

 

I do nothing of service, produce nothing

Creation no… and much consume.

          I am one of those idlers of the world.

Who of necessity do nothing, necessity being

       nothing to me. 

 

For me there is only idolitrazation

         and adoration, of myself.

In the mirror.

 

My mirror tells of a place

  where colors do not blend between objects but only

                  within

               an entity, so smoothly, even

            in their contrast. 

A clarity of pure air, gases so invisible the objects

   behind,

in front, between

   them almost had a visible outline

where tranquility muffles a rarefied tension.

           Where souls enjoy their existence

and moan.  their delight. 

 

It is a place of great beauty

     and distinction of light and colors.  glowing

       blended with darkness and cream.

Everything is beautiful in this place--

     including I: Narcissus.

 

     I can hear them, my brothers and

sisters to the back of me, posing

       wailing,

and wondering

       where I have gone.

 

But they would not come with me

    to the water

where they could be happy

       gazing at themselves in

          their happiness.

 

       For you see, I was the happiest of them all

so beautiful was I--am I!

    beautiful and free

and with no longing to lift myself

               from the edge of these

    waters, pristine and still

no ripple to mar

     none of my beauty out

My reflection unfiltered and purely--Me.

 

       I came to lounge one day.

    It was hot, and I.  thirsty, and

these waters were so beautiful

           we had to be together.

 

I lay down, by the still, still banks

         and cupped--a hand of waters

to drink.  And drink I did. Oh, coolness

      quenched!  Wetness.   .  . ..like silk,

             calmed my throat and I sunk

      to sleep.

 

But it was a strange water.

           For when I woke, I was thirstier than

before and lifted a handful

     to drink.  And grew thirstier--and I

       tasted the saline, a kind of

aphrodisiac for man

 a kind of immortalized liquid

watered down

                for man.

 

And it was me,

       (when it was not me

    who wanted anything

             but the idle of life).

         who became idol to

                                   myself.

 

I needed more, more

    than my single hand could cup,

       and so lifted myself on my elbows

and cupped both my hands to--

 

     see.

 

 

I saw, the most beautiful

       sublime

   of the divine

       Creatures

looking me

           full in the face

       from my two cupped hands.

Staring and I

  thought with terror that

          I might drop him.  that

I should never gaze at him again, exactly as

       do I, now,

        then

 

             For even so, he was falling

       from my hands, though

      I cupped him tighter

              still.  To see him,

    gaze at him idolize him

          forever.

 

He was strangely

      so imbued with a current, snaking

   its way underneath

his skin, sending

         it into tiny a-quivery convulsions

 

   The saline!

   The cursed aphrodisiac of the gods!

 

And still he was slipping

     becoming narrower, skewed

       distorted Beauty beyond means,

  and my power to save him…

 

       And so I drank him.

So that he could be

  with we--eternally.

  Beautiful forever.

 

  Yes, I had to

       taste him--yet

     another gulp.

  To quaff my

         newfound need to

     gaze at him.

  I had to raise another hands-full of

poison to my adoring worship-, wistfullest eyes and

         drink him. Before he

    fell from me,

my hands were incessantly cupping

       and lifting and drinking

my lips made love

    with each gulp of desire.

I drank and drank

       and bowed down

on the bank.

             on which, I was kneeling.

 

I can no longer see

       myself anymore

There is nothing

     to see,

         no face to

  gaze puppishly

at the face beauty in the water. 

 

There is a lump where my

     love used to be--one that

       I cannot see, but feel--

  sitting heavily in

the water.

         I grow stiff

     into substance

 growing from within

my bones overtake

             my flesh.  Hardness.  Like

muscle broiled in the sun.

 

I can hear (with what?) the clouds

     melting into themselves,

       but not into the sky;

afraid to step past

     the demarcation.

 

I groove the road

     I will now never take

             and let it, wind and go--

   where I will never.

 

And my hungry dog,

     eats red flesh, to add on

  to his.

 

I hear my brothers burst into a deeper shade

                 of pale

           while they frolic by their own pool undaring to wander

   and claim a

              pool of the gods as I have.

       “Look!” they cry “Narcissus

    the handless would

   drink!”

         I howled in

  bleached amaranthine 

    grief as a

           cripple does

 when he cannot do what others

       do, the simple,

  the moronic tasks.

       Yet can do I a

    thousandfold in

the fiendish mind.

 

and my dear love,

       bent in strategy,

    on a box of red and black

           contemplating me as

  I contemplate myself,

        Considered myself to

      the utmost, being fascinated

             with none other.

 

  I feel the mountains evaporating in a crunching

         break, releasing the

lighter parts of themselves

            

                               to the heavens and

         sinking lower, dripping

     in love

 

and somewhere a

       hand lifted

        me from position.

    its last two fingers

lifted my knee

       and its forefingers

lifted my

       shoulders

 

       And feel my shadow

    extending twice

          as the gods lifted

  their one concerted

              hand to lift me

     from my

           idolization

 

  Its thumb lifted

my chin and my brain cracked

          in curves

  My hair, once flowed like veins, even more so

     and my face of beauty was

          supported thusly

          by the cracked

     finger of the gods.

 

From my mind, (as it ever was so)

     grew the consummation of

   my desideratum

          white, dazzling-white,

  and pointing in every direction.

                 It is so beautiful that I

lift to pluck it but,

  to take myself rips me in two

       before offering myself to myself

 

So I kneel here and

    gaze and see my

       beloved gently (loving me)

swaying in the wind

     and know my love

           can survive if I

   abstain from my

                   desideratum of myself.

    oh, to idolize without

       touching.  It is beyond me and that is how

it survives. 

 

 

 

 

 

*~~*~~**~~*~*~~**~~~*~~*~

~*~*~~*~*~~*~**~*~*

 

 

 

Babel

 

Dragon, the Damsel, and Dreams

 

Paradiso Mer

 

The Unseen

 

Ø   Haiku - Nature - Traditional 5-7-5

Ø   Haikus - Love - Nontraditional 5-7-5

Ø   Haiku Erotic 5-7-5

Ø   Haiku in the City

 

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