Center of Infinity

By Paradise

This takes place just after Stefan showed up at the Grill when L&L were celebrating Lesley Lu surviving Aplastic Anemia. Stefan just by “coincidence” showed up, Luke left, and Stefan sat down to have a nice chat with Laura. All the while setting her up by taunting her and playing on her guilt over Nikolas. So she tries to prove Stefan wrong by going right over to Alan and Monica and telling them she has a son. Well, unfortunately, that’s just what Stefan had wanted Laura to do. Stefan then went home to Wyndemere and told Nikolas his mother cares nothing for him and is going around telling people she’s his son without any consideration of him. Nikolas calls Laura in anger, yelling at her…and Laura knows this is war.

Comments: Um…very NC-17, and could’ve happened…we’ll never know! J

August 16^th, 1996

It was late, Luke was asleep. Laura snuck out of bed and put on a short-sleeved blouse and some shorts. It was dark, she didn’t want Luke to wake up, and she was in a hurry. On a mission…she was tired of this. Her hair was still curly from tonight’s dinner with Luke at the Grill. She hadn’t even washed off her make-up, she hadn’t prepared to go to sleep tonight. She brushed her hair quickly yet thoroughly in the bathroom, put some lipstick on her slightly chapped lips, and crept out of the house.

XxX

Wyndemere

Laura walked in…he really had security? Or was he setting her up again because he wanted her inside this house? The first thing she saw was her portrait, it stopped her dead in her tracks every time. She looked at herself, trying to sit there and be happy, having to pose and once again be the good and perfect Princess Lasha Cassadine. A porcelain doll of the future head Mrs. Cassadine. Well, she wasn’t going to be good and perfect right now.

Laura walked over into the next room, where Stefan’s office was. She saw the chess game, of course it was there. He was scheming as always, and tonight he’d won. He’d come into the Grill of course so innocently, probably slithered his way into Alan’s trust, then come over and taunted her about Nikolas, and Luke left, which she couldn’t decide if she was happy or sad about. At the time she hadn’t wanted him to leave because she knew it wouldn’t be pretty with her and Stefan, and sure enough it wasn’t, but she also would’ve probably liked to leave with Luke because she was SICK of hearing about how evil a mother she was.

Then why have Nikolas here? Why put Nikolas in Laura’s face, in Lucky’s face, in Lulu’s face, hell, Stefan buys an island in two seconds yet every three seconds he’s either setting her up or giving her crap?

Laura saw Stefan sitting at his desk, he hadn’t noticed her yet. She stood still, calm, yet her hands were clenched and she was so furious she could thought she would make herself bleed.

“We need to talk,” she stated firmly.

He looked up to see her. There were no lights on in the room, only a faint light coming from somewhere else, the windows perhaps. Typically Cassadine. He had been sitting there alone thinking. All she could hear was his snide voice in her mind when they’d been on the telephone just a few minutes ago.

“I don’t suppose you told Nikolas YOUR part in this!” she snapped.

“I have no time for your whining, Lasha,” he said casually as he hung up.

Laura walked slowly over to the chair and sat down in it, across from him, one to one, rival to rival.

“I have one question, and if it’s possible, maybe you could tell me the truth. What are you doing?”

“I was getting ready to go to bed before you once again decided to break into my house after upsetting my nephew-“

“My son! Who you use as a tool to get to me, to hurt me because you hate me.”

He smiled as if she were crazy.

“Now why would I hate you, Lasha?”

“Why don’t you tell me?” she whispered angrily. “Or better yet, why don’t you tell me how long you are going to use Nikolas to hurt me and then I can turn around and walk away because I will NOT let you use my son to hurt me. It hurts him too.”

“No, you hurt him, I would never-“

“You’re standing here in front of his mother, hating her, ridiculing her for everything it’s worth, using him to feel guilty that his mother even exists and that YOU have to put up with her. When you put him in my face and then degrade me it makes HIM hurt! You say you’re trying to let him get to know me, no. You only want him to know the part of me you let him see.”

“And which side is that, you have so many.”

“The side of me where I’m backed up against a WALL with alternatives that can only hurt people I love so I do stupid things out of fear. You are the one giving me no choices-“

“No, that is your husband-“

“Oh stop it! I’m so sick of both of your constant crap telling me everything I should feel and do. But you…you’re different. How do you do that? How do you take me someplace when I’m paying attention and then I have no idea where it is I’ve ended up? Like tonight. How dare you do that to me and set me up like that! Was it fun for you to sit there and tell me Nikolas was my shame when you know damn well I loved him more than anything and I know that my biggest mistake was not killing that bitch who kept him from me when I had the chance?”

His face was cold, emotionless, and scheming. “Everything I said was the truth, you abandoned your own son, for your own purposes, and you have to pay for the choices you made,” he replied coolly, standing up.

She stood up after him, eye to eye.

“Like how much I betrayed Stavros? How Stavros was my victim? How the hell can you say that?”

He walked by her and she grabbed his arm to stop him.

“You don’t get to control me, Stefan. You don’t get to use my guilt against me, you don’t get to mind control me, which is all you have been doing! Well you know something, tonight you won!” she said hitting him in the chest angrily. “You won.”

“Go home, Lasha, get some sleep, you need it, obviously, you look like you’re about to have a breakdown.”

She sat down in the chair again slowly, facing away from him, thinking. He knew damn well she wasn’t close to a breakdown, for the first time she was telling him exactly what she wanted to and just because she was furious as hell does not mean she’s out of control. She’s a peasant, remember? She’s not born a Cassadine, she expresses her anger in a way the royal family would call “overreacting”. She thought about how long this would go on and how long she could stand being pulled from both directions to be perfect until her body split in half and she was over.

Laura exhaled and then she pulled her shirt over her head in one fluid motion, tossing it to the ground. She stood and faced him, her eyes blazing with fury. He was surprised to see her very own Cassadine medallion lying in the valley between her breasts.

“Oh isn’t this what you want, for me to be a prisoner of my own mistakes that I made on that island since I’m not a prisoner trapped on the island anymore? I need to pay for leaving, don’t I? So I should wear this brand,” she said, already answering his question. “I am Cassadine, but I’m also someone else, and that’s where I am wrong, isn’t it. So come on Stefan, take it!” she said, presenting herself to him. “Come and get it, right here, right now.”

“Put your clothes back on,” he said.

“Why?” she demanded. “So you can DRAG this out some more??? You won, Stefan! You won! You’ve already got my son to hate me, you’ve made him absolutely positive I never loved him and that I don’t now. He’s all prepared for the evil scheming bitch you have presented me as, and Lucky, well, now he knows his mom’s a big fat Cassadine whore! So…what do you want now? You already have me caught in a place where I can’t move without betraying someone, so what else do you want? You want…uh…my sons, my husband, what?!? You saved my daughter’s life but why? What are you going to do next? Just end it Stefan, right now. Take it.”

She walked over towards him, he had never seen her like this. Her hair was free and unbound, her eyes wide, blazing with passion and anger, her lips full and red, and she was on a mission and nothing and no one would stop her.

“What? Don’t you want me?” she asked.

“Not like this,” he replied, annoyed as if she were some creature embarrassing herself.

“Oh really,” she said, out of breath from how angry she was. “And why is that, huh? Because someone knows you-“

“Because you’re out of control.”

She smiled breathlessly. “No, I don’t think so. No I’m IN control, and that’s what you can’t stand,” she said through gritted teeth. “You can’t stand it that someone knows who you are and knows that the ONE thing you can’t stand is being shocked and being the one who’s not in control!” she shouted, pushing him furiously back against the wall.

“Nikolas will hear you-“

“Well good! Then you can tell him once again how disgusting and evil and low I am!” she said, her face close to his and the energy pouring out of her so much he could feel it.

She moved her hand to touch his face but before she reached him he gripped her wrist painfully. She fought back silently, trying to move her hand forward towards him as he held it back. Her mouth opened in a triumphant smile.

“You see? You’re no different than Stavros. You claim so much to be such a better more respecting man than Stavros, but you could hit me, if I pushed you enough, you’d hit me. I’m not even saying I’d blame you, but let’s be honest with each other, shall we? I’m no saint and neither are you. Just like you can make me do things I would never do, I can make you do things you never would either.”

She bent her head forward and kissed him roughly, drugging him with the kiss as he still held her wrist tightly. Yanking her hand free, she cupped his face, bringing it down to hers a little more. Placing soft, light kisses all over his face, her fingers curling through his hair, she felt his hands reach her shoulders and she moaned into his mouth when his hands met her skin.

He pulled back. “You’re on your way back to the hospital with this attitude of revenge when you lose self control. Go home before you do something you’ll regret-“

“No!” she refused firmly, pushing him back against the wall. “No, I know exactly what I am doing and so do you. And the reason you’re saying no is because I’m the one calling the shots right now, aren’t I?” she said as she began ripping the buttons of his shirt open.

Concentrating on the buttons with her furious, elegant fingers, she leaned against him, her smoky eyes staring at him and her moist lips nearly touching his. “You remember all the things we did,” she murmured against his lips. “You remember all the times we were in a moment like this, where no one was supposed to find us, no one was supposed to know,” she said leaning down for a brief teasing kiss that left him hungry for more.

He pushed her away. “I don’t have time for your games-“

She slammed him back. “Oh that’s right, you only have time for YOUR games, well, you have a slight change in plans right now.”

Laura ran her finger gently over his lips as thoughts flowed through her mind and she enjoyed the power of having him confused, stunned, and unsure of who she was or what she was doing. How did it feel?

“Just think of it as a chess game,” she whispered. “You always did like a good game, well now I’m participating, now I have moved my pieces and I am thinking about all the places in your past and in your mind I can play with, that I can rearrange and create to my own benefit.”

She kissed him softly on the lips. Continuing the final buttons of his shirt she peeled it off of his beautiful chest, stroking her hands along his shoulders, arms, and down his torso. Leaning down she nudged the medallion with his nose and kissed his heart. The kiss echoed in the room. Stefan couldn’t take it any longer and he reached for her hair, he had to feel it in his fingers again. Knowing he was responding she lifted her head up to his, kissing him urgently, crashing into him, meeting his passion and giving him all of hers until the kisses had to slow and deepen.

She pulled back, smiling erotically, a smile of confidence, passion, and intention.

“What do you want, Stefan? This?” she said, sliding her hand downward, inch by inch down his torso, over his nipples and down the lean muscles of his stomach.

As her hand crept lower she slowed down, then slipped down between them as she caressed him through his pants for a moment. Sliding down to her knees, she unbuckled his belt easily, and began unzipping his fly.

Stefan had looked straight ahead, either holding his breath or not being able to breathe, until he grasped her hands in his.

“Laura,” he said.

“What?” She looked at him calmly, then threw his hands off of hers, continuing her mission of ridding his pants.

Immediately, she took him into her mouth and he jerked in surprise. Laura used her hands to press his torso against the wall keeping him there. Removing her mouth to his disappointment, and starting at the base, she licked all the way up, making slow, wet circles around him before taking just the tip of him into her mouth, suckling very lightly. Attempting both to stop her and urge her to take all of him in her mouth, she remained holding him, sucking him, licking him, taking a little more of him in at a time. With her suction increasing she raised her hands to his back, running her hands along the beautiful skin, moving to the front, stroking his thighs with her nails and fingertips, and just when he gasped and tensed near climax, she slithered her way up his body, kissing and gliding her hands along his torso as she went, then she met his mouth and an electric jolt coursed through him as she leaned her body against his, feeling him hard against her.

“Come on,” she said calmly, almost daringly. “Finish what I’ve started.”

Without a second thought he grabbed her face in both hands and pulled her mouth to his, shocking her with the pressure and passion in this kiss. Wanting to respond and completely participate, she found the strength to wrap her own arms around his neck and return his kisses that were now drugging her into forgetting the purpose. Open mouthed kisses along her jawline, over her eyelids, outlining her ear with his tongue, nibbling her lips and kissing her until she was completely out of breath.

Her legs began to weaken and she felt her body turn to liquid as they held each other and pursued their passion through their mouths and hands. Overwhelmed by his kiss, she tilted her head back a little to breathe in as she felt his mouth nip her neck and lick the indentation, causing an unintended moan to escape from her lips. She felt her hair against her back, she felt his hands undoing the clasp to her bra as they quickly made their way over to the desk as he made a clean sweep of it’s accessories and lifted her quickly and impatiently on it.

Laura embraced him, her hands running along his shoulders as her mouth found his torso and she showered wet kisses along the beautiful skin, pulling him as close to her as she could. Stroking her hands down his thighs, tracing up his abdomen to his chest, she looked up at him with fiery blue eyes and he kissed her again, nibbling at her lips, darting his tongue into her mouth inviting hers into a passionate, thrusting need of surrender and release. Managing to get her shorts off, he swiftly entered her inviting body, unable to wait anymore.

Her hands clutched around his shoulders, she nibbled, kissed, and licked his neck, then felt him slip inside her and she inhaled sharply. Gripping her face in his hands, his lips captured hers and she heard him say he wanted her. She hadn’t heard that in an eternity. He knew Laura was in control of this, what happened was at her discretion as she began to shift her hips upward to meet him, pulling him back on the desk so she could lie down on it. Feeling the way she moved against him, ripples of pleasure were sent all through his body. She leaned up to his ear, nipping his earlobe and whispering words of encouragement.

“Make love to me,” she whispered before trailing her tongue in tantalizing circles along his neck.

She only had to ask once as he buried his face in her breasts, pulling the bra completely off as he sought her flesh with his burning mouth. She cupped the back of his head for support and cried out his name as he took her nipple firmly in his mouth and sucked it deep into his mouth. She raised her hips to meet his as she held onto him in the almost lying down position, yet he held her up and against him, entwined. Laura’s legs dangled and she attempted to wrap them around his waist, yet had a hard time doing it half lying down.

“Stefan,” she whispered, running her fingers through his hair as he attacked her neck with his mouth, making her throw her head back in abandon.

Laura’s beautiful face overwhelmed with passion, her eyes closed and embracing the sensations as Stefan’s mouth did wonderful things to her neck. Stefan placed his fingers in Laura’s open mouth, and she massaged them with her tongue, licking them and taking them into her mouth the same way she took him into her body. Laura sat up completely as they began obtaining their simultaneous release, Laura captured his mouth with hers, swallowing each other’s cries of ecstasy to keep anyone in the household from hearing too much.

“Shh,” she whispered against his lips as she held him.

Minutes later, Laura sat on his lap, and as their breathing came back to normal, she lifted his head up to meet her eyes. His hands here loosely holding her waist, slowly sliding up her sides nearly causing her to shiver with the tension she felt when she was with him. She gently kissed his lips.

“Tomorrow, when you come up with your next plot or your next step, remember that for one second, in this lifetime, I was the one in control. You can rest assured that I am now everything you said I am, but at least I know you will not tell Nikolas of this, if you did, you would be as guilty as I.”

Kissing him once more, he heard her words but was too out of breath to respond. She swung her leg over the side of him and hopped off the desk, quickly reclothing herself and walking out the door.

Laura licked her lips, remembering his taste as she reached Wyndemere’s front door and opened it.

“Oh my God!” she gasped, seeing Stefan fully clothed and standing in front of her. Laura, with her hand over her mouth, looked back into the house, then back at Stefan. “How did you do that?”

He reached forward slowly and cupped her face, pushing it up to look at him as he looked down on her. She gasped a little as he moved her head upward, then remained still with wide eyes as he looked at her. She didn’t recognize the look, it was so…Cassadine, she couldn’t tell if it was hatred, it if was as if she was worthless, or if he just wanted to see her reaction. She couldn’t put her finger on what his eyes were saying, but she knew it wasn’t good. She tried to ignore the chill she felt.

“Nervous,” he said as he held her face in his hands.

“Well isn’t that the point?” she said breathily.

He released her face and took her hand.

“Come with me,” he said softly, guiding her somewhere.

“What are you doing,” she said as he dragged her to a room she had no idea of.

It was dark, it was like he was walking her through a maze, she had know idea where they were. Then…it was like they were outside. There were still four walls, but there was ground, there was hay, it was almost as if she could feel the outdoor breeze. Where were they? She didn’t dare ask, she knew this game. Who was he? Who was this angry man seeking revenge on her for the destruction of his family, what happened to the man that defied his mother and saw Stavros’s evil? Now he blamed her. And she blamed him. Had she ever known him? He threw her son in her face only to torture her and then snatches him right back only to thrust him back into her life again and rip him away.

She glanced around the room, then looked up at him.

“You’re just like them,” she stated.

“My family?”

“I can’t tell if I was stupid or if you were just good at the part, probably both.”

“Stavros was my brother, no matter what differences we shared, he loved you, and he was my family.”

Laura gave him a confused look. “Okay, see that’s where I know you’re not the man I knew. Is what Stavros did mean love in your book all of a sudden? Those bruises on my arms and legs, that was love? Is that what you think now? Is that what you’ve always thought?”

She turned and tried to leave but he held her hand firmly in his.

“What? What are you doing? Why are you doing all of this?”

Grasping her waist with both hands he lifted her slightly off the ground, kissing her deeply as he banged her against the wall. Stunned and to her regret, consumed in this mind blowing passionate kiss, she didn’t know what to do so she just put her hands on his shoulders and didn’t fight the kiss.

It was brutal, more violent than necessary, with a fire and a fury both understood as well as they had the passionate love they’d experienced on the island. Laura moaned softly in exhaustion as he ravaged her. The flames grew inside her, exploding into lust in seconds. Giving in she did her best to kiss him back, unable to be the aggressive one or be anywhere close to it. This time she was in his control, he was the one engulfing her into his need and desire.

She wrapped her arms completely around him, one arm stroking his back and pulling him closer as her other hand ran through his hair. She could never getting enough of touching his beautiful body. Angrily ripping her hands from him, he continued to kiss her, to plunder her mouth as he pressed her hands against the wall. Lost in the kiss, she felt him raise her hands higher. With bruised, passion swollen lips, she turned her head away and gasped for air. She felt something encase her wrists.

Frantically looking up, she saw her hands were restrained above her head. It was dark, she couldn’t see exactly what the restraints were, but the fact that they were restraints at all forced her to look demandingly at Stefan. Before opening her mouth to shout at him, he covered it with his finger, wrapped his arms around her slim back and kissing her again, slow and deeply, breathing her in, cupping the back of her head to pull her closer. Hearing her moan into the kiss only excited him more as he caressed her neck with one hand.

She felt his hand at her neck, and the simple caress made her shiver against him, and she felt him beginning to unbutton her shirt.

“Stefan wait!” she said turning her head away from his kiss for a minute, then looked back at him. “My God, you can’t even let me win for twelve hours, can you? You can never let me be in control for more than five seconds before you take your place as the person to avenge your brother’s death. I have been in prison for three months for a murder I didn’t commit, then I spent another month in the hospital with my dying daughter and I’m exhausted. Yet still I have to fight don’t I? To make everyone understand what I did and why and still try to keep you and everything else from destroying everything in my life, the things I’ve had and the things that were kept from me. No matter how much I feel like going to sleep and never waking up I have to fight for my life again. I won’t fall, I’m gonna fight you with everything I have and I’m not going to let you defeat me now. I’ve survived everything I have to watch my daughter grow up, and you will never take that away from me.”

“You should be more careful, I have control of your son.”

She turned her head away angrily, not to look at him only to feel his hand on the left side of her face pushing her back to his mouth.

“Stop it,” she whispered.

“I want this,” he said ripping the buttons of her shirt further, kissing her so desperately she was gasping for breath between the kisses and even during them. “So do you,” he said harshly as he tore the remaining buttons from her shirt.

Kissing her lips fully, plundering into her recesses, Stefan grew impatient and angry at how difficult the buttons were being and quickly tore the blouse apart with his hand, the remaining buttons falling off in the process. She gasped as her torso was exposed to the cool air and tore her head away from his mouth.

“You want me? Yeah, I’ll bet you do, but that’s not all you want, you want to destroy my life, you had more fun tonight watching me surrender to your stupid little setup using my guilt and my pain than you have in a lifetime. Over my mother’s grave, you told me I used YOUR pain against you, meeting me at my mother’s grave, well what the hell was that?”

“What the hell did you call coming into my house and removing your clothes a few minutes ago?”

“You know what I call that? Exactly what you are doing right now, proving the powers of this so-called seduction, being in control. I am so tired of defending myself to everyone-”

“Don’t defend yourself right now, just be quiet.”

Excitement and fear coursed through her as he feverishly pushed the suit to both sides of her, exposing her breasts in the pale bra, obviously not being able to remove the suit while having her arms restrained above her head.  Laura was breathing deeply in and out, her breasts rising and falling with each breath, looking at him and knowing all the ways in which he could manipulate her and she would surrender.  She looked at him with anger yet desire pooled low inside her.  She hated him yet couldn't think very much about anything but what she was feeling, the good and the bad. 

Unable to move, she said nothing, but waited.  Stefan cupped her breasts with both hands through the bar and his eyes stayed with hers, until he looked down hungrily and began devouring her cleavage.  Dominatingly, his lips and tongue over the delicate flesh, the contours of her breasts, his tongue lapping over each curve and valley. 

Laura's eyes closed instantly as the sharp waves crashed through her, and she felt her heart rate increase as well as the heat engulfing her entire body. 

"Stefan...please don't do that," she whispered.

Stefan's hand cupped the bottom of her breast as his mouth continued to savagely devour her.  He peeled the white cup down to take her nipple into his mouth.  Laura's eyes flew open as he did that, and she tried to find a way to stop him but gave up almost before she started knowing there wasn’t exactly a way out of this at the moment.  In response to her thoughts of breaking free, he became more demanding, lashing his tongue over the hardened nipples and then enveloped as much of them as possible into his mouth and ruthlessly sucking.  Continuing to suckle as he held her breast in his hand, she felt her legs begin to weaken.

“Stefan,” said again, this time not in a whisper.

He lifted his head and ground his mouth hard on hers while teasing her nipple with his insistent fingers. Stefan explored her mouth, tasting and teasing, and the power that flowed from him into her excited her. Leaving her mouth, his lips trailed down her neck, smoothly slithering down between her breasts and continuing lower until the intentions he had were obvious to her and she seriously thought about jamming her knee into his face but that wouldn’t exactly do any good while in these restraints. And he knew that, of course he did.

Gripping her hips and then sliding his fingers beneath her shorts and underwear, he slowly pulled them down her legs and off of her. He did it slowly of course, too prolong the torture and increase the need, and despite the fact that it was working Laura couldn’t help but roll her eyes a little him. Men! Placing his beautiful hands on her thighs, he spread her legs to accommodate him, then waited. He kissed her gently between her thighs, and ran his finger slowly up and down her silky folds. Needing to taste her he firmly and smoothly licked her essence as his hands held her hips still. Taking her into his mouth, he felt her tense a little, so he blew on her to cool it, then suckled it into his mouth once again, teasing it with his tongue as he heard her moan softly and squirm a little.

She refused to try to deny what she felt, that wouldn’t do any good and why should she? Wasn’t that what he was trying to do?

Wanting to make her wet with desire, he ran his tongue along the securing folds, bathing them with his burning lips and tongue, then slipped his tongue inside her while caressing her thighs as he did so. He stroked his tongue inside her gently at first, then roughly, demanding to taste more of her as he placed her legs over his shoulders and his hands supported her back as he gained better access. Feeling him go deeper into her, he stroked and caressed her insides and began to quiver as his fingertips teased her into consumable desire. He held her in his hands, hearing her attempting to catch her breath as moved in and out, now with his fingers as his mouth concentrated on nibbling her up and down, with butterfly kisses. His fingers thrusting in and out of her as his mouth soothed and inflamed her brought her to her climax as she threw her head back and felt the warmth between her legs as well as the heat all over her body.

Setting her legs back on the ground he stood up to meet her face, her eyes closed and concentrating as she tried to regulate her breathing. He released her hands and brought them down, kissing them as the blood began circulating through them again. Wrapping her luscious body in his arms he rained kisses all over her face and as soon as her arms could manage they curled around him.

“Lasha,” he whispered like he used to and she felt like she was falling, falling forever and she couldn’t stop, yet she kept getting higher and higher like she was never going to come back down.

Her hands went to his shirt as she lifted it off of him, then ran her fingernails down his chest, then kissed it, slipping her tongue between her lips to caress and tickle him. She felt him shiver under her hot breath and pulled her off of him, her hair flying back. Ridding the very little left of their clothing they had on, Stefan’s hands engulfed her breasts, squeezing them lightly then dipping down to take her nipple between his teeth and nibble. One of his hands leaving her breast, she felt it moving down her stomach, slipping lower until he reached her thighs, drawing one of her legs up over his hip. She could feel his beautiful fingers swiftly entering her, massaging her and gliding his hand against the tender flesh, making her knee give way. He held her in his arms as she rested her head against the wall, needing the support as the tension inside her grew.

“You want me,” he asked against her ear.

She nodded as best she could. “Yes,” she pleaded, her eyes clenched shut as she begged for more.

Removing his hand she quickly lifted her other leg over his hip as he threw her to the hay, landing on top of her, both their breathing uneven and shallow. Instinctively spreading her legs she pulled him over her, wanting to feel his body inside her and covering her. He buried his face in her hair as her arm swept over his glistening back.

“Please, Stefan, now,” she pleaded.

He cupped her cheek with one hand, with every touch moist heat pulsed between her thighs, she couldn’t wait any longer. Feeling him inside her, slowly, inch by inch she took him, and then she couldn’t wait and let this be gentle any longer. She brought his mouth to hers and he buried himself, harder, watching her eyes as he drove into her. Turning over so she was on top, her hair spilled over him forming a curtain of privacy for their raging kisses. Pulling her face back in his hands, he looked at her eyes, then brought her to him again, touching her passion swollen lips with his tongue, then feverishly explored her mouth with his own.

Tearing her mouth from his, she caressed his face with her hand as she raised herself almost completely off of him, only to sink back onto him, keeping him deeply embedded inside her. As she continued to move up and down his hardness, she leaned over him, her hands on each side of him as she concentrated on the feelings flashing through her body. His large hands reached for her soft hips, running his hands along them as she rocked against him. Tracing up her body, she shivered slightly as his hands stroked her sides and then cupped her breasts. Leaning his head forward he captured a nipple in his mouth, causing her to moan audibly, but instead of releasing her he pulled, his hands grasping her sides as his mouth was relentless in bringing her body against his.

“Stefan-“ she said nearly arguing as his hands pushed her down against him and his mouth left her breast to take whatever it was she was going to say into his mouth.

With the thrusts becoming more urgent and uneven, Laura grasped him tightly with her inner muscles as she moved, making the sensations more powerful and causing Stefan to grip her hips in his hands and plunge into her one last time and Laura caught his moan in her mouth as he obtained the climax he had held out as long as he possibly could’ve.

Laura broke free from the kiss to moan herself and gasp for air as her body spiraled and curled against him. He rolled her over so she was on her back once again, and wanting his warm, lean body on top of hers, she held him there, not allowing him to leave.

“Stay,” she commanded.

Pulling her into his arms he kissed her softly, bringing her up to a sitting position. Cupping the left side of her face she closed her eyes and held in the need to catch her breath when he touched her. Slowly, she moved his hand away and moved away, so torn and confused from everything in her life she couldn’t move.

She bent her knees and held herself in a protective ball, so angry and so afraid and so determined yet so unsure. Stefan watched her, knowing exactly what she was feeling, lost. Coming up behind her he wrapped his arms around her chest and neck, imprisoning her, nuzzling his face in her hair.

“You know there was a time you would’ve felt completely safe in my arms,” he whispered to her.

Her heart rate increasing and the sensations of being held in his arms like this overwhelmed her. His hands on her bare skin brought her into the same feeling of need. She placed her hand over his arm as he began kissing her neck.

“You never wanted to be anywhere else,” he said between kisses as her breaths became a little more shallow.

She shivered at his voice, remembering all the things he was saying. This was mysterious, dangerous, and it made her uneasy. It was very…Cassadine. His hands glided her stomach in a sensual caress, deep breaths exuded from her with the strokes of his possessive fingers. One thing that always brought her into his passion was his possessiveness. The way he touched her, it almost terrified her in how slow yet how intense it was. The slightest touch would instantly shock her, then sooth her as the heat pooled deep inside her. She felt like a Cassadine with him, and not afraid of it in a way that would hurt her, but the Cassadine in him always held the mystery, the danger of knowledge and the secrets. Before she’d thought he was everything to her…and even though the passion was still here, it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t gentle…it was just…passionate.

Cupping her breasts, his thumbs brushed over her sensitive nipples again and again as his tongue stroked her shoulders, her neck, her back. Laura had to rest her head against his shoulder as his fingers played with her breasts, kneading them and softly gripping her nipples, teasing them as they tightened. A strangled moan escaped Laura’s mouth as tears stung at her eyelids.

“Stefan…please don’t do that, please stop…” she said reaching for his hands and pushing them off of her.

Stefan lifted her a little and turned her around, fastening his mouth on hers. Moaning into the kiss, she was now sitting on his lap and tore her mouth away, breathing heavily.

“Stop,” she said. “What are you doing?” she asked, pleading for answers.

“Why are you turning away from me now?”

“Because I don’t feel safe in your arms now. I don’t have any idea who you are. I saw your eyes tonight, your look of triumph as I left the Grill having told Alan and Monica about Nikolas. You loved taunted me about my son, about the things I did-“

“Don’t,” he said to her as if he didn’t want her to think about that.

Pulling her into an embrace, he held her securely in his arms, rocking her a little hoping to reassure her. He didn’t understand this anymore than she did. She was right, he did enjoy making sure she knew everything she had done, everything. Making sure she never forgot it. He liked seeing her break down, seeing her be strong and then reducing her to tears.

But then sometimes he’d forget, and he would hold her and want to be there for her, wanted to be someone she trusted. He loved touching her, feeling her skin, feeling her lips, her mouth. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair as he ravaged her neck. He wanted to make sure she would never be touched by his mother again.

Lowering his head, he took her nipple in his mouth, and gradually increased the suction as Laura’s breaths turned to short gasps.

“Stefan, no,” she said, holding his face and trying to detach his mouth from her breast.

She ignored the sensations and brought his face up to hers.

“Stop it,” she said softly, looking into his beautiful green eyes and feeling this tear at her heart like several arrows piercing her.

Getting off of him she stood and walked a little, leaning back against the wall. He stood up but didn’t go to her.

“Laura-“

“Please, just, shut up for a minute.” Laura felt very nauseous and uncomfortable. “You said I killed Stavros, you’re going to somehow avenge your brother’s death.”

Laura was so angry she shook.

“The fact that you can look into my eyes and tell me that…makes me hate you more than I ever thought I could hate anyone.”

That wasn’t what he really hated her for, and on some level he believed she knew that. But it didn’t take away the pain of hearing those words from him when he was the one who watched her. He understood that. She turned away, placing her hand over her mouth as she coughed. She was pale and she felt like she could vomit just thinking about Stavros.

“Lasha-“

She turned around and slapped him to his surprise.

“I don’t give a damn what you hate me for now. All the mistakes I’ve made, that’s fine. But I had to live with Stavros breathing on me every minute and you now portray him as my victim? How Luke killed him? Luke couldn’t have killed Stavros without my help and I’m only sorry I didn’t get to push him down the stairs and make him break his damned neck. You would’ve done the exact same thing in Luke’s place and it wasn’t the blow to Stavros’s head that killed him, it was the fall down the stairs and BEFORE you tell me anything else about how I killed him, if Stavros hadn’t fallen the exact moment he had, I would have a bullet in my head and guess who would’ve been cheering. Your mother. So don’t you ever tell me that Stavros was my victim or blame me for anything evil that ever happened to him. He deserved it after the two years of hell I went through when I breathed exactly the way he commanded me to-“

“Laura, I know all that-“ Stefan said, not wanting to hear about the pain Stavros inflicted on her.

“No Stefan, you’re gonna have to shut up because you don’t know anything. You don’t know!”

Stefan nodded, understanding. “All right.”

Laura’s eyes narrowed. “You make it sound so easy,” she said. “You make it sound like it was a choice. How you make it so pure and so simple is unbelievable to me. You know more than anyone that I did not want to marry Stavros, you were the one who told me it was a mistake. I knew it was a mistake, Stefan,” she said intently. “But I was kept in a room with no windows, no light whatsoever. I’m terrified of it now, I’d literally have a breakdown if I had to do it again.”

“You managed to stay in prison just fine.”

“There was light,” Laura said, dazed in painful memory. “I could see. It was never totally dark. That’s why I can stand to be behind bars, but not kept in a place where I can’t see. But I knew I didn’t have a choice. If I hadn’t married Stavros he would’ve used me a sex toy until he was through with me and then Helena would’ve slit my throat as easily as she breathes. I didn’t have anything to lose, I couldn’t even kill myself,” she said smiling through her tears. “I remember that. I remember all the restrictions because they knew I would leave that island anyway I could. But of course Helena knew I didn’t have the courage to jump off a cliff,” Laura said. “So I had one choice, and I took it. And I think I played the role of the Lady of the Dynasty, the Princess, Mrs. Stavros Cassadine well, don’t you think?”

Stefan said nothing, he felt her anger as clearly as he felt his own pain.

“So maybe you blame me for that choice, and maybe you blame me for your brother’s death, or Luke. But I’m thankful every minute of my life,” she said breathlessly. “I can walk without feeling he’s behind me, ready to attack me at any minute. So I don’t give a damn about your precious family or your honors, what I honor is my son.”

“How can you say that when you kill his father and abandon him?” Stefan replied.

“Because I didn’t do either of those things,” Laura said. “I’m so glad Stefan that you are so sure of everything in your life and that every choice is that easy for you. I’m glad you are one of those rare people who can know exactly what to do no matter what the situation. You should feel proud,” she said sarcastically. “You think I only came back here and stayed because of Luke? My God, even Luke knows better than that. How do you think I felt when my mother saw me alive for the first time. Imagine it, Stefan. Imagine if Nikolas had died, drowned, and you weren’t there to save him when you promised you’d always be, and two years later, after hoping everyday for him to come to you, and then finally realizing that isn’t going to happen and you let it go…it does happen. How would you feel?” she said, her face couldn’t be damper if she splashed water all over herself.

Stefan said nothing, he couldn’t. His life would be over without Nikolas.

“And my m-mother,” Laura cried, barely able to say the words. “Looked at me, was shaking so hard she could barely walk towards me. And she asked me if I was Laura. She looked at me with her strong, beautiful brown eyes, with such love, and I put her arms around me because she was in too much shock to do it herself. And then she held me, so tight I could barely breathe, her tears and her cries of joy, making me hurt so badly. She pulled back and cupped my face, I could barely see her eyes through her tears. She asked me if I was real. Through my pain and my tears I told her yes, and she looked me up and down and then weakened to the point Luke had to help her to the couch. And then my dad held me, and like all men he tried to play it cool, casual,” Laura remembered, smiling at the memory. “He was in shock but he said hi as he hugged me and my mother called for me. I went over to her, sat next to her as she reached for my hands. She told me how she tried never to give up hope, that they said I was in the water, in the freezing water and that she tried to get to me but I was gone. My heart clenched, I couldn’t breathe, but I told her that I never stopped thinking about her, it was just that I couldn’t get to her. I told her how much I loved her. And I told her what happened. Not about you or Nikolas though, I knew Stavros was after me, he was my concern at that moment. I knew he would take his revenge on Helena and then come to get me, as if I were something bought in a shop that had been stolen,” she said spitefully.

She exhaled and wiped her tears, then looked back at him.

“What do you think I thought when they threw me a big party, where the whole town and members from out of town came to see me alive. Everything I’d ever known was holding me again. I was still loved. I wasn’t as dirty as I felt. The disgust I felt was only on the inside, I was still beautiful to everyone else. I looked in the mirror and was amazed that I didn’t look how I felt. I felt two inches tall, beaten, soiled, terrified, and dead. I felt dead. But the warmth, the familiarity of everything I’d loved and known, and Robert and Luke and Tiffany and my parents, all knowing how much danger I was in and giving me faith to believe they would never let anyone hurt me again. The fact that they wanted me to understand that none of what had happened was my fault, not marrying Stavros, not sleeping with Stavros, not giving into Helena, not being able to escape, because Robert and Tiffany had been with us on Ice Princess island and they knew!” she cried. “They understood. Robert was so good to me, Luke was so good to me. I’m sorry you think I just jumped into Luke’s arms and never thought of my son or you again. I’m sorry you think of me that way. But I had a life, a life I was stolen out of and forced to accept that it would never exist again. I loved my son and I wanted to come back to you…but I had two lives, and I wasn’t ALLOWED to return to the one with my beautiful son and I hate that! But it’s not so easy. I was a mother, and I then understood what my mother had gone through having me kept from her. And that life I had and loved was still there, my God even Bobbie nearly tripped down the stair to grab me and hold me. And since you’ve been spending so much time with her you know how strong she is, and hopefully you have seen that we love each other now.”

“How would she feel knowing you betrayed her perfect brother?”

“That’s a very good question,” Laura replied, unaffected. “Then we would be over, but that’s not my biggest concern and you know that. How easy would it be for you had you been in my place?”

“You had a son.”

“I realize that, answer the question,” she stated firmly, not letting him get away with it that easy. “How easy would it be, to go back to the life you had been stolen out of, to be held by your own mother. You know something, I wasn’t even twenty-two, I was still a child myself, I needed my mother! I needed to be in my mother’s arms just as much as I needed Nikolas’s in mine. Ironic isn’t it, I was asked to choose, I guess it should’ve been a relief I didn’t have to, they were both taken.”

“You left your son on the island with me so that you could go and reunite with your long lost love. No one forced you to leave-“

“But they never let me come back, did they? I did not go home to just pick up with Luke where I left off though it’s amazing that we did considering everything, but you’re no fool. Helena had her heir, she was through with me, she thought she was being kind by “letting” me go. And I was so young I didn’t even realize. I was stupid, I’ve always been stupid. I didn’t realize I was the tool she used to keep this war going forever. But I never forgot, I still wake up and I’m afraid Stavros is beside me and that he’ll touch me, that he’ll use me. Who are you? How can you act like you know NONE of this? I told you everything, I trusted you! I thought you cared about me, I thought you were the one I would always know and always be safe with and always be honest with. And you stand here looking at me like I destroyed YOUR family?”

Laura turned away, covering her mouth. She had to throw up. The memories choked her, made that contamination flare up inside her. Kneeling on the ground she vomited, or at least she tried. Nothing came as she felt her stomach turn inside out and contract inside her. Laura placed her hands over face feeling faint from the strain on her body.

Stefan retrieved a handkerchief and kneeled down in front of her. Cupping her cheek with one hand he wiped the sweat from her face.

“Are you all right?”

Catching her breath, she nodded. He pulled her up gently and to her amazement he held her. His warm embrace revived her, took away the fear. He couldn’t understand how he could hate her so much and know he would give anything should she be in danger. She DID leave him, maybe she intended to return but he was the one who knew for all these years how happy she’d been with Luke, and everyday she ached to not have her son, he ached not having her!

Resting her chin on his shoulder she frowned, confused. She was too tired to think and instinctively wrapped her arms around him, holding him closer. He felt her exhale with relief.

“Was it all false,” she asked, her eyes closed and still in his arms. “Is that why you let me go on as I told you everything but you never did the same? You know I don’t understand but I want to know what the difference was between what I thought and what was,” she said shivering in his embrace.

“So do I,” he replied softly against her hair.

“What’s real to me…” she pulled back and stared up at him with slightly moist eyes. “I feel like I’m in the center of infinity. Nothing ends and nothing’s ever complete. I can only have pieces, and the pieces I can’t have never fade. The past never fades and I reach and reach and I obtain nothing. I know I’ve been really lucky in a lot of ways. I have so much in my life but I can’t ever hold it together. I can’t ever keep it safe. And I’m tired, and I don’t understand you, or what you think or what you’re doing or what your intentions are, or why the hell I think one minute I’m staring at a stranger and then one minute I know you better than you do. And I…want to hold my son. And I can’t,” she said simply.

She closed her eyes as a silent tear fell, and she reached up to embrace him again, running her fingers through his hair.

“Thank you, though. Thank you for saving my daughter. When I thought I might go to prison for life I wanted to die. I was going to have to leave another beautiful little baby, and I was going to miss her growing up, and she was going to have to know that her mother was arrested for bashing a man’s head with a baseball bat and then setting him on fire. Almost as bad as leaving Nikki behind to kill his father and never return, don’t you think?”

“Lesley Lu would’ve known you were innocent.”

“Of that, maybe. But a mother in prison will never be something to be happy about. It felt so good to be able to at least say goodbye to her. I was able to make a tape, and I wrote her letters and I sat her on my lap and said to her what I wished I could’ve said to Nikolas.”

“Nikolas is a lot like you. He’s…well he certainly has a mind of his own. I tend to always be surprised.”

Laura smiled, still clutching her arms around him tightly as if feeding off his strength.

“How? Can you give me an example?” she said. “Can you tell me anything? Please.”

Stefan pulled her arms from around his neck. “Let’s sit down.”

Laura nodded mutely. She walked back over to her clothes and put them back on.

“Would you like to go back to the house?”

“No,” Laura said, looking around this passage way. “Can we stay here?”

And could you put your shirt on please?!?

She sat down on the hay and motioned with her hand for him to join her. He did, reluctant though for this was not his style. She couldn’t help but try her best not to smile at his look.

“Will you tell me about my son, what you do mean he always surprises you?”

“For one thing I did not bring him here to Port Charles. He saw that he had donated the bone marrow to his sister and flew her by himself, apparently went into Lesley Lu’s hospital room and met your other son.”

Laura covered her eyes with her hand. “Oh God…that does sound like something I’d do,” she smiled. “He’s also a lot like you. He’s very…good at the testing of the mind and being able to say the correct things at the right time and somehow put me on the spot so much I mess up badly.”

She looked down at her hands, remembering the stains of the blueberries on them when she would eat them.

“He’s not my shame,” she said, looking back up at him with defiance. “I’m my own shame. As you are so good at making sure I never forget, you can rest assured, I promise you I will never look at my son and not know what I missed. But I thank you for keeping him safe. He’s beautiful,” she breathed.

Stefan took her hands in his. “Yes he is. He has been the greatest joy of my life.”

Laura smiled with happiness and pain.

“When did you first see him?”

“He was walking through the hospital, Bobbie was about to take me to my daughter when I felt something. I froze and then I turned around and I saw him in the corridor. I called out his name instantly and he just looked at me, angry of course. I was mesmerized just staring at him. I used to do nothing but watch him all day as a baby and I couldn’t stop looking at him then. He was…beautiful. He was perfect. And he walked towards me and told me that I guess I needed him after all, and walked through the elevator doors and he was gone.”

“Did you try to stop him?”

“Of course. But I didn’t, he’s brilliant, I’m sure. His mother is a commoner. But he was so…I love him. And I want to tell him, I want to tell him how much I love him and tell him things that would prove it. He’s in so much pain because he thinks I never loved him, but if I prove to him I did, by what I prove it to him with will also hurt him. And even if I never hold him at least I see him,” Laura said happily.

Laura tried to continue the smile of hope and gratitude as the tears slipped and the moonlight shown down perfectly on her white skin and blue eyes. She tried not to cry by exhaling casually and beginning to stand, but Stefan pulled her towards him, encouraging her to cry.

“Stefan, don’t…” she said as he pulled her hands towards him.

“Yes, come here,” he said quietly.

Reluctantly, she let him hold her, like a baby. She cried silently, staying still for several minutes.

“Why do you want to comfort me when you’re the one who wants him to hate me?” she whispered, looking up at him.

“I don’t want him to hate you-“

“Yes you do!” she whispered. “How can you say that? You tried to get me to say I never wanted anything to do with him when he was right behind me. You keep setting me up to try to get him to hate me. Why? Please tell me why,” she pleaded.

Stefan struggled to have the courage to say the words, and yet wondered how much he would regret saying them later.

“I was angry with you.”

“No kidding,” Laura replied sarcastically. “So Nikolas was sort of…revenge?”

Stefan thought briefly about it. “Maybe. You know why, Laura. The words I didn’t say on the island, but it was there.”

Panic beat in Laura’s heart as she sat up and tried to escape.

“No!” he said, keeping her there, caressing her face. “What are you so afraid of, that the words I might say are the ones you already know or that you might remember feeling the same way?”

“Of course I remember. That’s why I’m half out of my mind trying to understand how different it can be from then and now,” she said with strain in her voice.

Closing her eyes she reached up and brushed the back of her hand against his face. She reached with her soft fingertips to his mouth, where she outlined his lips slowly with her finger, her eyes clenched in concentration. Unable to resist he took her hand in his firm hand and kissed it, moving then to encircle the back of her neck underneath her radiant hair. Leaning forward, she rested her head against his bare shoulder, her hands loosely holding his arms.

“There is so much pain we have seen and experienced, haven’t you had all you can take,” she asked him.

“The most pain I ever experienced was you leaving and never coming back. Knowing that I was someone you could confide in, that you could feel free with-“

“Don’t start, Stefan. That’s not true. I know I’ve proven you right to believe that in so many instances but it’s not true.” She pulled back enough to look him in the eye. “I wasn’t sure how much I meant to you then. I didn’t really know. I wasn’t exactly what you should’ve been looking for. Someone who killed your father, married your brother, I mean you wouldn’t exactly assume that that’s someone you would…love.”

“Neither is the brother of your sadistic husband and the son of a woman who’s holding you prisoner and son of a man who nearly froze to death.”

Laura smiled. “Well, you’ve got a point.”

“You know I hate my family and what they did to you, and I wouldn’t allow them to do that to Nikolas.”

Laura nodded, crying. “Thank you. He loves you so much.”

“I still love you, I have everyday you’ve been gone.”

“Will you kiss me,” she said softly.

Tipping her face up, he leaned in and they kissed softly, gently, without any movement. Tears collided down from Laura’s closed eyes as she removed her mouth from his and placed her forehead gently against his mouth, her hands caressing his torso lightly as his threaded through her hair.

“I still love you,” she replied. “We were never over, I never stopped loving you either. There wasn’t ever a chance to. I was ripped from my life before Nikolas, but I was ripped from my life with you too. I still feel right in your arms, no matter what cruel words we’ve said, I remember where I felt perfect, and I’m not leaving. I never found the words to say to tell you I love you, but I want to now.”

She pulled him to her and rested his head on her shoulder, taking care of him.