Hit Me With Your Best Shot

By Paradise

Chapter 1

Laura walked casually into Wyndemere, passed Mrs. Lansbury and went into Stefan’s study. He was facing the other direction from her while sitting at his desk, reading some papers. Laura threw her purse down on the table and placed her hands on the edge of the desk.

“I want you back, and it’s not negotiable,” she said.

Stefan turned slowly to Laura, taking his glasses off. She saw that look in his eyes, the war was beginning again.

“Just make yourself at home, Laura. Now what was it you were saying?”

“You heard me,” she said slowly.

Stefan stood up slowly, throwing his pen on the desk.

“I have very little time for this, Laura. I have no idea what brought this on except of course unless your life isn’t working out the way you’d hoped and you’ve come here to fill up a void. I’m not interested. You were the one who countless times said you could never trust me, or did you forget that?”

Laura rolled her eyes just slightly. “Stefan, do not cloud this issue with ancient history. Don't make what happened all my fault. I don't want to argue with you about Luke, because this is not about him. It isn't as if you haven't had your own share of betrayals and affairs but this is not going to be the last of our discussions or the last of our moments together. So don’t take moral high grounds right now, just listen to me.”

Stefan saw that Laura was completely right. However, it didn’t make him any more inclined to listen to her.

“You're right, Laura, we do fight consistently.”
“It's a habit between us. But for God's sakes Stefan, after all that's happened, you can't blame everything on me? You cannot lay it all at my feet, can you?”

“No, of course not,” he said in a toneless voice. “However, if you come to me and tell me you’d like whatever it was that we had back, I must remind you that I came here to ruin your life and you told me I succeeded.”
Laura's eyes narrowed. “Don't play that game with me, Stefan. You know what you have done in my life. You protected me, you heard me, you loved me, you loved my son more than anything in this whole world, you loved him more than you wanted to seek revenge on me. You may have tried to hurt me and destroy me, but we loved each other. And Nikolas was the best thing that ever happened between us. And you gave me a chance to see him and I love him more than anything, just like you do. And I knew you did from the first time I handed him to you.”

“No matter what tragic events forced you to do unwanted tasks, your love has always been easier to see than anything else.”

By the way Stefan said that she knew it wasn’t exactly a complement. Stefan wasn’t talking about Nikolas.

“And what you wanted was something I don’t even understand. You could’ve had anything Laura, and yet you still apparently don’t, so you’ve come to me because you think I will love you still?”

“That doesn’t matter if you still love me, I know you did, and I’m not about to walk away from that. I’m not going to have you be unreachable in my life.”

He looked down casually, as if this were a business decision. He was cold and distant, yet polite. “You can always reach me. I meant what I said despite everything. You will always have my every loyalty.”

“I don't want your every loyalty, I want you. You forced me to still be a person instead of a mind-controlled prisoner. You made me want to live. I know you’re planning to go on a business trip, but whatever your plan is, you...are going to have to change it. Because I'm not letting you go anywhere.”

He looked up at her, how dare she presume to say anything like that? She saw that in his eyes and didn’t falter.

“This is not negotiable, Stefan,” she said.

He smiled inside, thrilled to see her so challenged and determined without doubt or guilt. Not that he was considering it, too much had happened. She had betrayed and used. He wasn't going to sooth his pride by telling her she was some specimen Luke Spencer created her to be. He couldn’t even comprehend how serious her mind actually thought it was, or how long this would be for her? What was she really waiting for while she attempted to keep him in her life?

“The time has come for you to shut up and stand there for five seconds without the past or your pride in your way, and listen to me. Let me be the one to make you stay. For every time you've called me stubborn, I am going to prove the true meaning of that word to you.”
“Are you saying you're still in love with me?” he asked cruelly, knowing she wouldn't be able to say it.

“And if I am, would that scare you?” Laura returned with a smile. “You're not as cool as you may think you are. I haven't shown you how determined I can be. Try me,” she said.

“What is it that you want?” Stefan asked her as if she were only irritating him.

“I want to tell you I was wrong about a lot of things, and that I am sorry.”

“And at this point I should care?”

“Very cute. At one point you would have and I believe there is a part of you that really would like to hear what you have wanted me to say for a very long time.”

“My family has always been the evil in your life, where as everyone else in your life has been perfect. The name Cassadine means evil and lies and betrayal. Where as in your mind you receive those qualities no where else.”

“I don’t hate your family anymore than you do,” she pointed out. “That’s one of the things we initially bonded over if you recall. And you are wrong about me believing the Cassadines are the only ones who have betrayed. I usually cause my own betrayals and those against me, and I recall every single one of them.”

“You say that now, Lasha. Tomorrow you will change your mind and go running home to the life you always wanted.”

“Oh shut up,” she wailed, so tired of lines like these. “I know where I’ve been and I know what I’ve done but I also know what it is that I feel and what I’ve felt in the past. And I want a life with you.”

“Why the hell should I believe that,” he said roughly. “This from a woman who walked into a building that explodes and allowed me to think I was responsible for your death as I watched you supposedly go up in flames? And how many times have you abandoned your son? Three is it? You are the most confused person I’ve ever met. You never know what it is that you want but everyone knows that the one constant in your life is your defense of your latest ex-husband. Oh, and by the way, wouldn’t this be the first legal divorce you have ever obtained?”

Laura sighed a little. “You have no argument from me that I have been extremely confused. And while I appreciate your attempts to goad me into leaving, I’m not going to. At least that means I’m getting to you. I know I have treated you terribly, I know every mistake I’ve made thank you. But I am going to make it right, and do what I want to do instead of what’s expected of me. I will do what I want, not what you want, which is for me to prove I am everything you think I am. No, I’m through being afraid. I will prove to you how much I love you and even you will not stand in my way.”

“I don’t want your love, it’s as false as you are.”

“You wanted to marry me, you loved me.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Oh admit it, will you? I’m not completely insane.”

His eyes were cold. “Yes you are. You are the most delusional person I have ever met for you don’t even realize when you are conjuring up ideas in your mind.”

Laura walked around the desk angrily to stand in front of him.

“Well then I have finally conjured up the idea in my mind that I am gonna stick with!”

“Do you ever learn, Laura, that maybe my lies were as true as yours?”

She didn’t know what he meant by that.

“You took comfort with me on the island. You were desperate, and needing, and why shouldn’t I have taken what you were offering? Although it would’ve been almost impossible to have refused you. Not only are you delusional with your own lies, but everyone else’s as well. I suppose I shouldn’t be disappointed you believed Luke’s lies, it showed you were gullible enough to believe mine. You have never had any power over me, you were always Timoria.”

“You’re full of shit,” she said tersely.

“Am I? Did you honestly think that by sleeping with me I would take you off the island? And Helena was contained in my control since Nikolas was six years old, did you ever wonder why I didn’t bring him to you sooner? Why did I for over a year make you believe I was so heartless and insane only to turn around and be there when your family had fallen apart and you needed me the most? You were always revenge, and atonement. And it worked. For I actually made you destroy so many more lives than you had previously.”

“That’s not true,” she said fiercely. “You loved me, I know you loved me and I know you are saying all of this just to give me more pain, well, fine. I said I could take any insult you would throw at me and I will. I suppose I deserve more. Why don’t you tell me what I whore I was with Stavros too? Or while you’re at it, why don’t you tell me that I switched the paternity tests instead of your mother so that you would raise my son all these years?”

Laura saw the look in his eyes. She was always his greatest adversary.

“I’m pretty good too, aren’t I?” Laura said.

Her eyes softened and she walked towards him.

“For God’s sakes, Laura, don’t you have any pride left at all?”

“Yes, enough to fight.”

“Don’t step another inch, get out.”

“No,” she said softly.

“Get out!”

She braved his hatred and jumped into his arms, holding him tighter than she’d ever held anyone. Stefan’s arms almost encircled her but he closed his eyes painfully and didn’t touch her.

“Let go, Laura.”

“No!”

Laura clung to him tighter, her hands embracing his beautiful back, her chin resting on his shoulder as the tears fell unbidden down her face.

“I love you, and I don’t care how many times I have to say it or show it I will to make you believe me. I can’t…I can’t lose you again, I can’t let go now. I love you.”

She ran her fingers through his hair and then leaned back to look at him. Her delicate fingers brushed his face.

“I love you. The first time I saw you, the way you looked at me-“

He took her hand and gripped it tightly. She gasped in pain.

“Stefan, Stefan please, you’re crushing my hand-“

“Oh, does that hurt, Lasha?”

The pain was excoriating as he backed her up slowly against the wall.

“Stefan, you’re crushing my hand, please stop-“

“That hurts? I don’t mean to, I just don’t know how to stop,” he said to her.

She was in too much pain to comprehend any words he was saying. She tried to struggle but his grip was too strong.

“Let me help,” he said and he kissed her hand, kissed it tenderly, releasing the pressure as he did.

She breathed heavily and relief and then he crushed her hand in his again. She tilted her head against the bookshelf and struggled but knew she would fail.

“Stefan, stop it! Let go of my hand!”

Releasing her hand he held both her arms in his hands, but the look in his eyes was hateful, and frightening. She looked straight at him, fear in her eyes but no sense of fleeing or crying out was in her. Tightening his arms, he pulled her against his hot, hard body. Kissing her, violently, too hard, to hurt her. And though it hurt her she didn’t have much of a way to stop it. Tearing his lips from hers he looked at her with demeaning eyes.

“How does it feel?”

“How the hell can you be so cruel?”

“I’m everything you said I was. Worse than Stavros and Helena put together.”

“That may be true, but not because you were more evil than them. It was because I loved you and you loved me so you know exactly what to say to hurt me the most and you use that advantage. I’m not going to deny that I said that and I’m not going to deny that in the moment I said it, it was true.”

“When you believed I kidnapped your son?”

“No! When you told me that Stavros was my victim! And you made me his whore, you made me feel guilty about taking Helena’s beloved son and betraying Stavros with Luke! You stood with me over my mother’s grave and goaded me and taunted me to make sure I knew everything was my fault! And she was alive! But I wasn’t “ready” to hear the truth about it! Just like I wasn’t ready to hear the truth about Lucky! You play God Stefan, just like they do. I will not let you make everything that fell between us lay at my feet.”

“Of course not, nothing is ever your fault. Certainly not faking your death and forcing me to believe I was responsible. And you talk about betrayal?”

Laura was still quivering from physical pain.

“I have never regretted anything more in my life. And you know that. So unlike you regretting your own “death”. Of all my stupidity and hateful actions, I would never knowingly walk into a building you sent me to that would explode in your face. I kissed you because I was grateful, and I did love you, and I wanted you to know that. That I would turn back to you and tell you I loved you. I was TELLING you! Yes, it sure as hell turned out to be like Judas, but I loved you and I was telling you that.”

He looked almost amused. “Well, if that’s the way you tell someone, you are better than my mother. You never existed, you are unreal. You are empty, translucent, you disappear and then you reappear only long enough to inflict pain.”

She said nothing. He cupped her face in his hands, drawing it back so she was looking up at him.

“You are so beautiful, but how dare you speak of destruction. Such a beautiful face, destroying everything you touch.”

She challenged him, curling her hand around his neck, inviting his kiss.

“You are nothing more than a whore,” he said to her, already giving in.

“Isn’t that what you always liked about me,” she said consuming his lips in hers.

Kissing her back, knowing he had lost the fight, that he always lost the fight when it was with her, he threaded his fingers through her thick hair. Abandoning herself into his arms, she openly and desperately kissed him, driving the need up in him. Grasping the hand he had already wounded, he crushed it again. She moaned painfully into the kiss, then pulled back.

“You see?” she said softly, dried tears affecting her makeup. “I can make you feel, and even if it’s not love, it’s hate, and we have always been able to go easily back and forth between the two. Let go of my hand,” she said harshly.

Releasing it she flinched. He moved away from her, preoccupying himself with something. Laura looked down at her hand. Red, swollen, and shaking a little. It stung terribly from the left over pain. Staring back at him, she knew he wasn’t going to budge.

“Fine,” she said casually, walking across from him.

Though there were tears in her eyes and streaming down her face, she didn’t wipe them away and pretend to be stronger without them. They kept her passion, and they would make him see her determination. She faced him now.

“That was a nice try, but this isn’t over.”

“Your tears mean nothing to me now.”

“That’s good,” she said firmly as they slipped. “I don’t intend for them to make you feel sorry for me, but I’m not about to wipe them away and hide. You can look at me and draw any conclusions you’d like, you know me, you know me as well as anyone, and I know you.”

She walked out the door. Watching her go, even though he could no longer see her, he felt the pain she was feeling. He knew he had hurt her and cursing himself for being the never ending idiot, he went after her.

XxX

Laura looked over the water where she could see Port Charles. How ironic that she could leave this island whenever she wanted. She would never be on an island again and feel she could leave whenever she wanted. Even though she knew she could, islands would always be a little awkward. Silent tears strolled down her face and her hand burned. He had held it so hard she thought he would almost break it. And he was showing her that is what she had done to him. Break him, then kiss the hand to make it better only for an instant, only to crush it again.

Laura felt like she was drowning, being sucked deeper and deeper into a pattern of her life where her lies and her guilt destroyed everything she had at one point been able to count on and to love more than ever imaginable. And she couldn’t stop it. She had tried to stop it before it had ever started. She never wanted to be the person who had to lie to protect, to lie to survive. To betray to survive.

She hated herself, more than anything. She had done this to Stefan. She had done this to herself. Her own fears of God knows what kept her afraid of being allowed to think thoughts she had forced to be the past. She didn’t hear Stefan come up behind her as she continued to wait for the launch and stare at the waters towards the opposite shore.

“Laura,” he said.

Angry and hurt, she stiffened, sucking in a breath. She didn’t bother wiping her tears, he knew she had them. She turned and wiped them casually, she wasn’t hiding from him.

“I know, I heard you very clearly. And I am leaving. I am waiting for the launch to show up, I won’t stay here a minute longer than I have to, and I sure as hell won’t bother you again today. You don’t have to stay here and watch, I may be hard headed and stubborn but I do hear eventually, and I am leaving as soon as I can. Even I know when I’m not welcome,” she said bitterly.

She turned away from him, back to the water. Yes, this was Laura. Stubborn and strong about what she felt and what she believed in. She never changed. Stefan stepped closer to her.

“Let me see your hand,” he said, seeing she was hiding it.

She turned back to him. “I don’t have tears in my eyes because of my hand, or even necessarily what you said. You don’t need to be the prince now. Just go.”

“Let me see it,” he said again.

“It doesn’t hurt,” she retorted briskly.

He reached for it and she flinched in pain when he touched in.

“Really,” he said, slightly teasing her lies.

Her hand was red, and a little bruised. Her knuckles were white. Guilt poured over Stefan.

“I apologize. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Don’t,” she said harshly, pulling her hand back. “I hate it when you do that! You say what you mean no matter how evil it is and then when you may have physically hurt me and it reminds you of Stavros, the guilt overcomes you and you try to appease it. Don’t bother, I know exactly who I’m looking at when I see you. And I don’t care about my hand. It’ll be fine in a few minutes, I promise. Physical pain easily goes away, and I’m not so weak I can’t handle it.”

“Laura,” he said again. “Please, let me take you back to the house and help you.”

“No,” she said firmly, not turning around. “That’s not fair. I don’t want your help.”

She began to walk further down the docs when he pulled her back. Turning her around to face him, his slid his hand to her hair and grabbing a handful, he drew her head back.

“No, that’s not what’s unfair. The fact that I still want you, now that is unfair.”

He leaned down and kissed her slightly parted lips. Laura closed her eyes and opened her mouth slightly as his lips swept over hers in an expressive worship. His hands went to her hair and her back and drew her closer. His barriers came down as he forgot about what was logical, right, or safe for his pride and knew that he needed her now to help with his own pain. Opening her mouth and deepening the kiss Laura returned with the same desperation, wrapping her arms around him to cling him to her.

“I love you,” she whispered as his lips swept across hers, and he could feel her tears against his face.

Their lips and bodies were feverishly attempting to make up for the time apart. Laura’s body felt light and weak as Stefan’s lips passed back and forth over hers and they hungrily clung to each other until they were out of breath and had to stop. Pulling her lips from his to breathe as she desperately needed to, he trailed kisses along her face and then nibbled her neck. Stefan’s teeth grazed the skin and left indentations he then lapped up with his tongue.

Stefan frantically pushed her jacket off of her body, and through her blouse he touched her breasts with his hands, feeling them tighten and swell in his grip. She reached for his shoulders and then his face.

“Stefan, look at me,” she said, her eyes as clear and persistent as ever. “I love you.” She looked at his mouth and then back up at him. “Kiss me,” she whispered.

Complying, Laura began unbuttoning Stefan’s shirt and caressing his torso with her hands, needing to feel his skin. She tore her mouth reluctantly from Stefan’s and found his chest, using her tongue and mouth to make Stefan weak enough in the knees he began to pull her to the ground. Once understanding she bent her legs and followed him, where he unbuttoned her blouse all the way, peeling the cup down to enclose his mouth over her nipple.

“Oh God,” she whispered at the feeling of his hot mouth over her sensitive flesh.

He cupped her face and pulled her up towards him a little, brushing her hair away from her face with his fingers and kissing her cheeks, her temples, eyelids and forehead. When he finally paused she looked at him breathlessly, her chest rising and falling with her deep breaths and she pulled his mouth to hers, kissing him passionately. Encircling her arms around his back and drawing him closer to her as she lied back down, her nails ran smoothly over his back as he teased her lips dominatingly. Then he stopped, looking at her with a cold smile.

“You see Laura, that is what always remains constant and good about you. Once you have made yourself available, it is so simple to take you to the place of no return,” he said brutally.

Laura felt the change in his body as his heart turned evil against hers.

“Is Luke too drunk to give you what you want? Oh forgive me, he does it a lot better when he is drunk, doesn’t he?”

He didn’t see how much that drew the anger and vengeance up inside her, so he continued to assault her. She had never felt such pure disgust for him in her life.

“I see no reason why I shouldn’t comply, we’re already at an advanced stage in your body.”

Kissing her neck she felt dirty, now realizing how quickly the emotion could change by his words. Pulling his mouth to her she kissed him ruthlessly, using everything inside the kiss before pushing him off of her and buttoning her blouse.

“I do hate you,” she hissed.

The launch had finally arrived.

“Then I have had to very little this time to reverse your supposed feelings.”

She smiled a little. “Oh no you didn’t. I still love you, and I am not through. If this is how you want to do this, it is war, and this was only the first battle.”

“Well, if you’re still in heat there are plenty of people in this town who would take you.”

“Fuck you, you cold bastard. Go to hell,” she said in a low, deliberate voice.

Turning to the launch, he grabbed her arm and pulled her roughly back to into his arms, her face almost in contact with him as her eyes were full of loathing.

“This is hell,” he said.

“Good,” she replied. “Then stay here, until YOU decide to leave it.”

Laura jerked free of his arms instantly, unaffected by his pain if that’s what it was as she walked to the launch without looking back. Sitting down she rested her head against the chair, and exhaled. She was exhausted, furious, and hurt. No tears fell, and she wondered why. She didn’t feel like crying now, she felt like revenge, she felt like conquering, and she felt like winning.

(I must say that writing this has been a lot of fun. I enjoy writing Laura the day she was when she said she was a Cassadine too. Taking no crap, full of fire, anger, and passion. The writers love making Laura an angel, but I want her to be a bitch too! LOL! Particularly to Stefan, man…the way she looked at him and said, “God I hate you,” and he lashed out at her with, “Say it Lasha! I wanna hear you say the words.” “Than you’re his father,” she hissed glaring. Ooh! Dear Lord, I need a cigarette just from that! I love their anger!)

Chapter 2

A week had passed, Laura went on with her life, her work and her children giving him time to cool off from his pissiness, not that he was wrong to be, but not as if she didn’t have a few pointers herself for the exact emotion.

Don’t think about that, Laura. You will be the one in control this time instead of letting him hurt you so damn much when he says something like that to her. <”Tell me how much worthier I am than Stavros and the rest…used to work on occasion.”> STOP IT, Laura! It’s over, he’s not gonna do that to you anymore, he’s not to get to you, that’s he wants, so that you’ll disappear and he can prove you’re everything he said you were.

“Honey?”

Laura looked up from the computer to see her mother.

“Yeah?”

“You have a guest.”

Laura raised an eyebrow at the way her mother said that. “And?”

“I don’t know. But you should come and see her.”

Laura stood up and curiously walked out to the living room. Alexis Davis stood there.

“Alexis,” Laura said stunned, not sure how to react. “Uh, please, come in. Is something wrong?”

Alexis walked in further.

“Laura, I don’t know if you have the capacity to do this, but can you be honest?”

“Excuse me?”

“Cut the crap, what is going on with you and Stefan?”

Laura sighed inwardly, trying to remain calm. “Alexis, I know you have never liked me, I’m not sure I even completely blame you. I mean, you truthfully have never known me, I was always the enemy in one way or the other. Either Stefan and I were on a side keeping secrets from you or I was betraying him to the point where you would compare me to Helena, even though Helena did the exact same thing to me that she did to you. You are like your brother in that you can say the one thing to me that will hurt me most.”

A little guilt caught up with Alexis. Laura didn’t drop this, but continued with a suave voice and calm tone.

“And you walked in at a very complicated point of Stefan and my relationship, and you saw me from the beginning as a threat. The point is, you don’t know everything about me and Stefan. Past, present, or anywhere else. We have had a relationship that is indescribable, and apparently no one seems to understand it. That’s fine. Stefan is your brother, if he would like to discuss with you what he feels towards me or anything else, that’s fine-“

“I know how Stefan feels about you! He doesn’t know, he doesn’t trust you and you know you can’t blame him-“

“Well sometimes you could say I have DAMN good reason not to trust him!” Laura fought back. She then refrained. “I’m sorry, excuse me. I have just hated it being one sided, everything in my life has been one sided. You see me as a person who never loved my son and never loved Stefan. I can’t force you to change that opinion, and though I admire your strength and your intelligence, we have never seen eye to eye on many things.”

Alexis didn’t reply. Laura sat down at the table, inviting Alexis to join her and she did. Neither spoke for a moment. Laura smiled sadly.

“Kinda ironic, isn’t it? Helena treated you like trash, she did the same to me. She’s threatened your life since you’ve known her, and so have I. We’re not that different. You were willing to let Stefan go to prison during a trial you could’ve at any minute ended and you let Nikolas be so afraid to lose the one constant in his life. And for what, you were scared. Why does that sound familiar to me? Must sound like someone I know. You hated Katherine, so you let Stefan believe she was you, and that blew up in your face, another thing I can tell you I’ve experienced. And you telling me I never loved Nikolas or cared about Stefan when I sat there with Stefan during the trial, and despite what you think, I was there for him. If Stefan had not wanted me there, he would’ve kicked me out as easily as he kicked me out of the country. But I was there for him, because I knew he was innocent and I wanted to prove I would do anything to help him if he would let me. I never believed he could be capable of that, if he were going to kill any woman in his entire lifetime, it would be me. He was not capable of murdering an innocent woman. How ironic you and my husband were, and you both made me guilty.”

Nice way of stabbing me back, Laura. Laura leaned in towards Alexis, intimidating her a little with dark eyes and a low voice.

“And telling Helena and everyone that Nikolas was Stefan’s when you KNEW what Helena was capable of. You even blamed Stefan and I for being together on the island? You were jealous that you hadn’t gotten your little title, so you would risk lives? Forget about your brother and myself, but Nikolas? How dare you tell me I didn’t love my son.”

Alexis looked away, ashamed but unwilling to admit it. Laura then felt guilty.

“I am sorry, I did not mean to start this. Please forgive me for that at least.”

“No, Laura, you have a point.”

Laura’s blue eyes met Alexis’s brown.

“Thank you,” Laura said sincerely. “And so do you, but being told I was like Helena, who used to love it when Stavros would attack me at the dinner table, how proud she was of his power, that struck. And I thought you, being a woman in the Cassadine family would be the first to understand.”

“You were the Princess Cassadine, Laura. I was a bastard, of a sick man, living with his sick wife, after she took my sister from me. There is a huge difference.”

Laura nodded. “I don’t deny that. How ironic though that you saw me as a princess. See I remember the guards, and the dogs Stavros had outside my room to keep me from going anywhere. And how when I finally made friends with Pollux, and I wasn’t alone, even a pet was still more than enough to push Stavros over the edge, and he slit that beautiful dog’s throat and left his bloody collar on my pillow.”

Alexis cringed at the thought of Stavros.

“Imagine sleeping with him dear,” Laura said, catching the way Alexis reacted to Stavros. “I think a lot more about having to go to Stavros’s bed, literally when he called. I think about turning my head so I wouldn’t have to face him as my body shrank from revulsion underneath his, and Helena! You know about Helena. And the women who stole her men, that’s what you and I are. You stole Mikkos from her, and Stavros had to have me, of course nothing is ever Helena’s fault.”

Alexis didn’t want to talk about this. The memories hurt and Laura was winning!

“I never EVER claimed you had a right to be Stavros’s toy, or Helena’s prisoner, I cannot even begin to imagine how awful it would’ve been to have been married to Stavros and I am glad he is dead! For you, for me, for Stefan, Nikolas, the world! I was the little sister that was trash, I can’t imagine what being an obsession of his would’ve been like. And I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, and certainly not you. But I came here to know what it is you are feeling for my brother, and what you are intending to do.”

Laura licked her lips. “If you were on my side at all, if you would have even an open mind, I would confide in you, because you know Stefan as well as I do, and I would trust you. But you won’t trust me, I don’t blame you, but I’m not going to spill my heart or my mind to you. If Stefan would like to, that is fine.”

“Stefan doesn’t! Because you’ve said or done something to him!”

A door slammed. “Of course, it’s ALWAYS Laura’s fault,” Bobbie said, welcoming herself in.

Laura’s mouth fell to the floor at that line coming from Bobbie’s lips.

“Alexis, you are a very good friend of mine, and I think you are brilliant, even when it comes to Stefan once in a while. But the destruction of Stefan and Laura does NOT completely lie at Laura’s feet. And I am being very generous here because Lord knows I am not Stefan’s greatest fan.”

“Bobbie?” Laura said, still trying to find her jaw.

“Shocking ain’t it Laura,” Bobbie said with a smile. Bobbie turned back to Alexis. “You didn’t see what Stefan did to Laura when he first came here. What he goaded her with, what he taunted her with. How he manipulated the facts, the facts at that time only Laura knew, and how much he threatened and tormented the hell out of her. Now when I found out they had been in love I retaliated against them both, claiming that Laura was a lying bitch who was in love with Stefan instead of her husband.”

“Uh, Bobbie, I had this conversation under-“

“Well now I’m going to stand up for you, and you better suck it up for all it’s worth because God knows if I’ll slip back into 1978 tomorrow,” Bobbie said to Laura, then turned back to Alexis. “There are a lot of layers to Stefan and Laura’s past, that you don’t know, and that I don’t. So know how much we think it’s our business, we don’t know. But I know this much, Laura is an angel. And it annoys me, but I do know she doesn’t get pleasure out of hurting people. So if you think she’s concocting some revenge against Stefan, that’s not her style. That’s his.”

“Oh sure,” Alexis said. “The first Mrs. Stefan Cassadine, and the only reason you are assuming Stefan is all evil is because you know that he was married to you when he was really in love with LAURA!”

Laura couldn’t believe Alexis said that, and Laura saw the pain that flowed over Bobbie’s eyes. Alexis wanted to shoot herself.

“Oh God, Bobbie, I didn’t mean that, I’m sorry, I-“

“Stop,” Bobbie said. “It’s the truth. But it wasn’t Laura’s fault. She wasn’t teasing him at that point, she wasn’t bringing up the past to throw it his face. He may easily see she teased him when he “allowed” her to return to Port Charles in 1998, but she wasn’t teasing him, no matter what mistakes she made. And for the first time, I am going to take Laura’s side over the man’s. Whatever is going between Stefan and her, Laura is not out to punish Stefan. It’s a little late for that.”

“Okay, thank you, Bobbie. I really appreciate you’re trying to help, but I really would like to finish this conversation with Alexis.”

“All right, I’ll talk to you later, bye.”

“I’m going too,” Alexis said.

“Alexis please don’t go!” Laura pleaded.

Alexis turned back as Bobbie closed the door behind her. Laura’s eyes were large.

“Please, please sit down. I don’t want to fight, I want the opposite, and I don’t consider this over. You came by my house a few years ago and offered a truce. I’m not suggesting you offer it now, but I would like to make an attempt to talk. If that’s okay.”

Alexis hesitated for a moment. Was this what Stefan always fell for? It worked. Even Alexis couldn’t refuse, what was it that Laura did exactly that sucked people in?

“Okay,” Alexis said softly. “Thanks.” She sat down.

“Can I get you anything? Food, drink, cyanide?”

Alexis chuckled a little.

“Would it be easier if we spoke in Greek?” Laura teased.

“Oh no! Helena used to yell at me in Greek.”

“Oh me too. And I…I am going to try and answer your question though you probably won’t like it anyway, you probably won’t like me any more than you do now. I want Stefan back.”

Alexis’s eyes popped out at Laura’s outraged statement!

“Yes, I figured that would be your look. I know you hate me, I know you think all I want is to hurt him. If he thinks that too which he does right now, then you are set. And Stefan will never fall and crumble from me, he is far too strong and every bit as good a manipulator as I ever hoped to be.”

“No, that’s not true! You have no idea how much he loved you and the way you treated him, I didn’t think you were worth what he felt for you. You turned against him so fast-“

“I know! I know what I said and I know what I did. I am not excusing it, I am not even going to try and make it better by defending anything. However, all of my life, since the day I was caught between two mothers I loved dearly at twelve and my life was torn by loyalty then, I have never been able to divide my love well. And the guilt grows because I can’t let people I love go and then others hate me. So guess what Alexis, I don’t care. I’m not going to be guilty anymore and I am going to get what I want without doubt, guilt, or fear. And if he doesn’t want me anymore, then that’s just fine. I will make him want me. I am extremely tired of feeling like I was betraying someone, and I’m not going to no matter what!”

Laura cleared her throat.

“Any questions?”

Alexis couldn’t help but bite her lip to keep from laughing. That was a damn good speech. She didn’t know if she hated Laura for daring to try or envying her for going after what she wanted which is something she had never herself done. Maybe she should watch Laura and learn or maybe she should punch her lights out for having the nerve or the guts, whatever it was.

“Come on, Alexis, tell me how much I don’t love him, tell me how much I don’t deserve him. How much I always betray him, how I’ve never even loved my son, how much I’m like Helena, come on, I know you’re dying to.”

Alexis leaned in close to Laura.

“If you succeed, you will teach me.”

What the fuck did she just say?

“Excuse me?”

Alexis smiled a little. “I don’t know what the hell it is you think you’re doing and I don’t know if you’re going to succeed, I don’t even know what Stefan’s thinking though you must be doing good so far to have this much confidence and you know something, I want it! So if you love him, you fight for him, and don’t you dare let him go, and then you show me how you did it.”

“How I do what? Win someone I love?”

“Get the strength and the confidence.”

Laura looked straight at Alexis, holding her look. “Let go of the guilt and the fear and fight. Let what Helena did to you go. That’s it. She did to you what she did to me, made me a scared little girl, a child. I don’t give a damn what she does, she can kill me now for all I care, but I’m going to live my life, and she can’t stop me!”

And Laura stood up and left the house.

“Wow,” Alexis said, still sitting at the table.

XxX

Mrs. Lansbury showed the first Mrs. Stefan Cassadine into Stefan’s office.

“Stefan?”

He turned. She looked beautiful, she always had. This couldn’t be good though.

“Barbara,” he said. “How can I help you?”

She smiled a little, shaking her head. “Will you ever stop doing that? We had a very sexual yet loveless marriage and a very ugly breakup that was both our faults. You were in love with two other women at the time, using me as a tool for Luke and Laura, and finally I believed my brother when he said you were using me. And I fought back and wanted to know how. Even you can’t begrudge me that, Stefan. You used me like I was a whore and having a lot of practice I guess I was the perfect person. We both lost and won because of it. So please stop acting like I am an annoying business associate of yours.”

He had to smile. “Well, shall we discuss the Dominican Republic instead?”

She rolled her eyes, still smiling. “You may be a Cassadine and far above an ex-hooker like me, but you are still a typical man. No, what I actually came here to discuss is Laura.”

Bobbie could see that got his attention, though he remained still.

“Your sister is with Laura now, grilling her about trying to hurt you, so I thought I’d come see you.”

“Alexis is with Laura? What for?”

Is he deaf? I just told him.

“Because Alexis is defending you to Laura, telling Laura to stay the hell away from you because Laura will only hurt you. I am very glad you and Alexis are so close and by all means, her standing up for you is wonderful. Somebody has to.”

Stefan exhaled a laugh at that. Bobbie wasn’t even mad, they were being charming to each other for them anyway. It was almost flirting.

“Anyway, while Alexis is saying God knows what to Laura, I thought I would come and stick up for Laura.”

“Well, this is a change,” he commented.

“I shudder to even wonder what Laura told you on the island,” Bobbie said, shaking her head. “But speaking of that, the very old days when Laura and I were the worst of enemies, I was every bit as good a manipulator as you in my day, and I too learned Laura, and learned exactly what to say to her to make her hurt to the very center, and it felt good to have that kind of power over her. She was an angel, a princess, and too kind to hurt me back the way she should’ve. The only time she ever really hurt me was unknowingly. And the fact that she wouldn’t generally lash out and hurt me back the way I always hurt her made me even more infuriated and tempted to push more of her buttons. Sound familiar?”

Stefan said nothing. He wasn’t going to admit how alike he had felt about that at times, and he could tell Barbara wasn’t looking for answers, she knew them all.

“And then I looked at what I did to her, I am not saying it’s exactly the same thing, mind you, let’s just say I am giving you my version of knowing how to drive Laura up the wall. It didn’t work, I still lost, and the only way I have ever been able to be with her is to stop judging her. And I am going to warn you to not mess with her anymore, I know how it ended, and I know it was ended badly. And whoever’s fault it was, I bet there is a lot of hurt feelings on both sides and those need to be discussed with a little…patience.”

“And when have you ever known me not to be patient, Barbara?”

Bobbie smiled sarcastically.

“Certainly not with me, no I was exactly what you were looking for. An easy woman to get into bed, an easy woman to agree to marry you and turn on the rest of my life and stand by your side until one day I witnessed something in the hospital. You risked lives by testing the virus you infected GH’s computer system with, and then I began to wonder. But at least I got revenge on Luke and Laura with you for a while. I hit Laura harder than I’ve ever hit anyone for betraying YOU when she faked her death. I turned against her, saw the opportunity to steal her son from her and I wanted to! I wanted to take everything she loved, so you and I made a pretty good team, didn’t we?”

Stefan nodded a little. “It did almost work, I agree with you. But I am curious, what is my sister doing with Laura? Where are they?”

“I heard Alexis screaming at Laura as I entered Laura’s house, and God knows she’s had enough people telling her how wrong she is her whole life, but she wanted me to leave. She wanted to be with Alexis, don’t ask me why. All I can say is that is Laura once again being too generous for her own good. Though you have a sister as loyal to you as my brother is to me.”

“I was wondering when we would get to Luke, Barbara. All of a sudden you are warning me not to hurt Laura, never to dare? It’s perfectly all right for Luke to abandon her because she had loved another man years ago but it’s not all right for me to have any type of contempt for her?”

Bobbie licked her lips. “No, it wasn’t okay for Luke to do that. I told him not to, but he knew Laura was in love with you. I didn’t know that, at least to the extent that she was. I thought it was just comfort she seeked with you, I was wrong.”

Stefan shook his head a little in disbelief in that comment.

“I saw it. Why do you think I was so jealous? Because the husband I had loved, was really in love with my sister in law. You heard me say she was a princess and I was not, she was the one who was refined enough for someone like you, and yet you used me, when you wanted her. So I wanted to hurt you back and say she never cared a thing for you. I saw her try and resist it, and she was terrible at it. The point is that while Luke was having an affair with my best friend, though I supported Felicia, I did not agree with Luke and I knew he was using her to fill up the void he had without Laura. Luke never loved Felicia, she was a lifeline when he lost Laura. Like Katherine? Like me?”

Stefan turned away from Barbara and fixed a drink for himself. That was an unnecessary comment, and whenever Katherine entered his thoughts, only hatred came to mind from what she turned into under Helena’s influence. Bobbie noticed she’d hit a nerve and tried to soften her voice a little.

“I know the key players in this very well. And no, it was not all right for Luke to do what he did, and I don’t defend all of his choices, and I am admitting that now because I grew past my own feelings of betrayal. And maybe that is what made me so furious at Laura and you. Not my brother, but myself.”

“What do you mean,” Stefan said, meeting her brown eyes.

“Well, let’s just say it’s a pretty big shock when you find out the woman your husband was cheating on your with and very quickly became engaged to wasn’t even the woman he truly loved. It was the woman I had been second to all my life, a woman I loved and a woman I hated. How you could hear me talk about Laura, and how I have always been second to her, and let me believe I was the one you picked.”

“I apologize for that, I truly do.”

Bobbie nodded. “Well, regardless, if Laura belongs with you, I hope she gets you. And if she doesn’t, I hope she finds peace with all the pain she has caused herself and all she’s loved. Because she deserves forgiveness within herself.”

Bobbie patted Stefan on the shoulder.

“So, I…will see you later, and for what’s it’s worth, I think you really do love her. I don’t know what’s happened or what’s going to happen but I know that I would give Laura a side, and give it to you. For whatever it’s worth, I was in love with you, and I think I always knew you didn’t love me, but I never guessed it was Laura. I was the one who was foolish, yet this is the one time I hope she wins.”

Bobbie left.

“What the hell was that,” Stefan said to himself.

(I love that! I love it when Bobbie gives Stefan crap. Like Valentine’s Day when she did what Laura always did and forced him to try new weird food! LOL! And what the hell is up with Alexis hating Laura? Gosh, the first time they met in 98 Alexis was so cold and so nervous no wonder Laura was a little uncomfortable. Alexis was so rude to her for so long I don’t blame Laura for not wanting to just all of a sudden be pals! And since when does Alexis walk on water? Because of Helena she never had a life and she’s criticizing Laura’s? Laura had loves, Laura had children, Laura saw the world and did things. I adore Alexis except when she acts all high and mighty around Laura.)

Chapter 3

Laura had received a phone call from Nikolas requesting he meet her at Wyndemere. Whatever for, Laura would go, but after her and Stefan’s last meeting a few days ago, she wasn’t sure she was up for his anger or he was up for being rational with her. She would make it brief and casual.

It was 8:00 at night when Laura knocked on the door and Mrs. Lansbury answered.

“Mrs. Cassadine-uh, Mrs. Spencer, how are you?”

Laura smiled. “Call me Laura, Mrs. Lansbury, it’s easier. Call me Lasha if you’d like. Um, I came here to see my son, he is expecting me.”

Mrs. Lansbury had a surprised look on her face. “I wasn’t told anything of it, and Master Cassadine isn’t here.”

Master Cassadine, dear Lord.

“Really? He’s not here?”

“No, please come in though, I am sure Mr. Cassadine would be happy to help you figure out the details of this misunderstanding.”

Mrs. Lansbury stepped aside but Laura did NOT want to go in.

“Oh, no thank you. It’s really not necessary. Mr. Cassadine is extremely busy and this is between me and my son, so, I apologize.”

Laura began to turn away.

“Are you sure, Mrs…Lasha?”

“Of course. And I’m not royalty, I never was, I am just like you, a person caught up in a family of beauty and insanity, so please don’t hesitate to call me Lasha.”

Mrs. Lansbury smiled. “You were always royalty to me, goodnight.”

She closed the door and Laura stood there, very touched by her words. NIKOLAS! Laura reached for her cell phone.

“Nikolas, I am going to kill you, what the hell are you doing?” she mumbled to herself.

“Having a good evening?”

“You scared me to death!” Laura exclaimed whirling around to see Stefan. Her eyes were large and she was breathing heavily from shock. “How long have you been there?”

“I was taking a walk, and at first I thought you coming here was you trying to set me up, then I realized you thought it was me setting you up, but no, it really was Nikolas?”

Laura smiled. He hadn’t seen her smile in a long time. It was beautiful.

“Yes, it was his voice, not yours. And I wasn’t trying to set you up, though if it would work, I would try. However, I am very clear on your not so pleasant feelings towards me, so I will not push it for now.”

Laura began to walk away.

“You avoiding me?”

Laura turned back.

“I beg your pardon?” she said nearly laughing. “No, but I do seem to remember the last time we were in each other’s presence and I’m not sure I am up for round two of that tonight.”

Stefan smiled, he had caught her.

“You’re avoiding me,” he said walking towards his front door.

“Oh really? Who’s the one leaving now?” Laura snapped.

He turned back.

“Gotcha,” she said smiling.

He was enjoying this surprisingly, he had always enjoyed their games and when they were both participating. This was harmless, but she was always the adversary to him.

“So what did my sister say to you?” Stefan asked.

“How do you know she came to see me? Did she tell you?”

“No, Barbara did.”

“What?”

“Apparently she walked in on Alexis and you and you requested Barbara leave?”

“Well, yes-“

“Well Barbara came to me and defended you.”

Laura frowned. “What?”

Stefan chuckled. “My thoughts exactly. But she did, I think Barbara finally realizes that you are…” he didn’t finish.

“That I am what?”

“Do you remember on the island how you always admired her strength, and you wished you would’ve had time to become real family with her?”

Laura remembered that. “You never forgot anything I said, did you?”

“No. Well, I think she is now more than family with you. Apparently while Alexis was standing up for me, which by the way I knew nothing about and I apologize, Barbara did the same for you.”

“Well, that was very kind of her. And please don’t apologize for Alexis. She needed to defend you, I needed to defend myself, and through it I think we reached a new level.”

“I’m pleased.”

Laura smiled at him, knowing he was feeling so much more than the vague emotion he was showing.

“I’m not very good at this, and apparently you aren’t either,” Laura said. “But I am glad we’re here together.”

That was enough for Stefan, he didn’t want this to go any further. He turned back to the door. Laura bolted forward and reached the door before him, blocking it.

“No. You don’t get to run, you didn’t let me run, there was a storm, and I was trapped here.”

“Lasha, move,” he said firmly, yet tried to remain calm.

“No. But you called me Lasha, that’s a start.”

“How so?”

“When you call me Lasha, we’re in our own world, the world recreated. You are the only one who knows Lasha, and I only feel comfortable being her with you. When you call me Laura sometimes it’s more distant, as if I am just any other person. Lasha isn’t any other person, because it was only you and me then.”

God she was beautiful. Standing there, glowing, determined, strong, and knowing him better than he did. She always did. And though he appreciated more than he was willing to admit that she seemed reluctant to say the least to leave this issue alone, how long would it last?

“Think what you may, maybe I was just seeing you as Stavros’s property, as I see you as Luke’s. By the way, where is he?”

“You always do that. Whenever you are angry with me, you run to one of four subjects. Luke, Nikolas, Stavros, or you. But in the interest of saving time I will tell you. His dear friend is in the hospital, and he went to see her.”

“Really? Who may I ask?”

Laura rolled her eyes a little, but played the game.

“Holly Sutton Scorpio.”

“Where have I heard that name?”

Laura’s eyes narrowed. “I can’t wait to hear your response to this but here it goes. While I was on the island, with you, Luke tried to move on and fell in love with Holly. They almost had a child together, but unfortunately the baby died. Before the baby died, Luke was presumed dead as you know, and Holly, who is British, was going to be deported. Robert Scorpio, Luke’s best friend offered to marry her to keep her in the country where she could have the baby and be near her friends and Luke’s family. Holly’s family was dangerous and there was no telling what they would do to her once they had her in their control. So Holly married Robert, and she lost the baby. Though Holly and Robert remained married after Luke returned alive, Holly and Luke always cared, and he thought it best to go be with her while she is sick. I myself am worried about her.”

Stefan nodded. “How ironic, both the women he loved both remarried other people when he died.”

“Yes, it is ironic,” she said through clenched teeth.

“And while I appreciate that little piece of information, it has been a very long night, and I would like you leave.”

“No, I’m not going anywhere. You’re not gonna make me.”

She didn’t move.

“Laura, this is not a game.”

“Oh believe me, I realize that.”

“Then move!”

She didn’t. He took her arms and tried to move her and she fought.

“No, no! Stop doing this, look at me,” she pleaded with him. “I know what I did, I know what I said, how I hurt you, and I am completely aware of why you should hate me, and why you do!”

She latched her hands onto his upper arms to keep him from leaving.

“But I love you, and I’m not going to let you go-“

“You did let me go, you pushed me away and never looked back.”

“That’s not true! I was never more angry with you but I did get over it, when you came back from the dead I was thrilled, and I told myself a whole lot of things but it was all still there. When you came into my office demanding I help you with Nikolas I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe you would command me to do something and threaten me, but it was familiar, wasn’t it? Me fighting, you not letting me leave, the fire between us whether or not we are screaming at each other or in each other’s arms.”

Stefan remembered that, how he grabbed her arms and told her she would help him, and how she tried to break free, so much stronger, so much less willing to give in. And how beautiful she looked that day with her eyes staring at him and knowing everything he would say.

“So no, you’re not going to get me to leave this time,” Laura said pushing him away from the door.

Both still holding onto each other’s arms with a warlike flare in their eyes, she softened.

“You’re not pushing me away because it’s over, or because you don’t love me, it’s because you do! And you’re afraid of it, I sure as hell don’t blame you. But I want the life with you-“

“Oh you want-“

“YES! I want it, and I am going to have it and no amount of your anger is gonna stop me this time,” she hissed.

“You certainly are sure of yourself-“

“You’re right, I am. I am sure of myself and my determination and you sure as hell better be up for the fight of a lifetime if are going to reject me, because I will fight back with everything I have and I will win.”

“Oh you think I am something to win now?”

“No, I don’t, but that’s how you are going to make it. You will make it a passionate battle of love and hate and manipulations. I know you, Stefan, don’t forget that.”

Why was it every time he tried to get her in an uncomfortable situation she brilliantly got herself out of it within one sentence? He used to be able to do that to her and now he was the victim of her manipulative mind.

“I’m getting as good as you, aren’t I?” Laura said, knowing exactly what he was thinking.

Stefan sighed, furious, and clutched her face brutally in his hands, leaning his mouth towards her ear. He could smell her hair. She felt her blood flow through her body as his body heat mingled with hers, his lips close to her ear, and him holding her so tightly it would hurt if it weren’t so passionate.

“What do you want,” he whispered into her ear, anger in his voice. “You want me to kiss you, you want me to tell you I love you and that everything is perfect again? That I want you back, you want me to do that?”

Laura closed her eyes and felt his face against hers. She slowly opened her eyes.

“Yes,” she whispered back into his ear. “But I know you won’t, not yet.”

“Not ever,” he said still holding her face and his lips near her ear.

Laura placed her hands on his shoulders, then moved her hands slowly down his torso, stroking him through his shirt. Her flaming eyes never left his as she looked at him with no guilt or hesitation. Then she moved her hands back up to his shoulders to pull him closer.

“Never’s a long time, I wouldn’t be so sure,” she assured him.

Stefan moved his hands up to her shoulders and she tensed like he wanted her to as he deliberately encircled her neck in his hands. He was always the master at frightening her and exciting her at the same time. She tensed up when he tightened his grip, and then she relaxed a little, pushing herself closer to him, so her mouth was almost touching his.

“You don’t know whether to kiss me or kill me, do you?” she whispered against his lips. “You never did. And I always felt the same about you, always caught between love and hate. And I think right now you hate me because you want me. Go ahead, snap my neck, break it, I know you can, and I know you want to,” she whispered, driving him crazy.

Impulsively, he jerked her neck to the side, as if to break it, but stopped as soon as he started. Laura for a second was sure he would, and the fear exploded inside her for an instant. He had turned her head so she was looking at him. She smiled, not at all uncomfortable with his hands circling her neck, but enjoying it, enjoying the passion he was feeling no matter what type it was.

Laura placed her hands on his chest, running her fingers slowly in small circles through the shirt.

“I love you,” she whispered as she moved her hands from his beautiful chest to the hands holding her neck.

Covering his hands with hers, she leaned in to his mouth again. Touching her lips to his, she didn’t kiss him, but continued to speak in a slow, soft, seductive voice.

“You have two choices here, and there are two things you want to do in this moment,” she said placing a small kiss on his lower lip, making him shudder. “You can go ahead in kill me in an instant, or you can use your hands to do more than kill me.”

He parted his lips a little in weakness and she tangled hers with his without kissing him. Her hands still gripped his.

“Kiss me,” she commanded in a whisper. “Kiss me now,” she said softly, daring him.

She never met his eyes, but completely concentrated on his mouth. He was losing control and she knew it. He knew she knew it and because of that his hands tightened a little more. Instead of frightening her though it excited her, for she knew that meant she was getting to him. Slowly pulling her mouth from his, he felt the cool air on his lips instead of hers. Her eyes met his.

“You don’t want to kiss me?” she asked him softly.

He said nothing but looked at her with death in his eyes. Removing one hand from her neck, he firmly brushed his hand against her face, deeply as if to reach inside her skin. She inhaled slowly, feeling the charge inside her body when he touched her.

“You’re burning me,” she said softly.

He leaned in and kissed her more swiftly and deeply than she thought he would. He nibbled at her lips and slipped his tongue into her mouth drawing her into a passionate battle. This was too fast, not that she minded but this was too easy, what was he really doing?

“Stefan,” she said turning her head from his lips, dizzy from the sensations that had been coursing through her. “What are you doing?”

He began to unbutton her dress. She looked down and immediately placed her hands on his to stop him.

“Stefan-“

“I am going to unbutton every single one of these buttons and make love to you.”

Dipping down to capture her lips again, she moaned into the kiss as he moved her hands away and continued the process of removing her dress.

“Wait, wait,” she said.

“No,” he said teasing her soft lips. “I wasn’t planning to stop last time.”

She smiled a little at that. “But you knew I would, and you won that battle, what are you doing this time?” she whispered breathlessly.

Walking towards her, forcing her to back up she felt the wall against her.

“You’re the one who is so certain I should trust, yet you don’t trust me?”

He nipped her lower lip as he began to peel the dress from her shoulders.

“Y-yes, I trust you but not when you hate me and you’re willing to do anything to push me away-“

“Does it look like I’m pushing you away?”

Bending his head to kiss her cleavage, she knew he was up to something, she knew he had a plan. He turned her around so she faced the wall and unhooked her bra, roughly pulling it off of her and throwing it to the ground. He traced her back thoroughly, his fingers remembering her touch as his mouth remembered her taste. Slowly, he turned her around to kiss her, his hand sliding from her neck further and further down until she stopped him.

“Stefan, no,” she said softly. There was something going on she didn’t know about. “Stefan, stop,” she said again when he seemed to pay no attention to her.

“No!” he whispered as he refused firmly. Pushing her hands away quickly, he pulled her lips to his. “I want this, and so do you.”

She suddenly couldn’t refuse him with words any longer. She found her hands tangling in his hair, inviting the kiss. Tearing his shirt off, returning the desire, she caressed his golden torso and drew her lips down his neck, tasting him as she stroked his back with her nails. Lowering herself slowly to her knees she unfastened his belt and began to remove his pants. Finally succeeding, she stood back up to meet him.

“I want you,” she whispered to him. “I love you,” she said.

Needing her burning skin, he buried his face in her breasts before taking her nipple firmly into his mouth and suckling ravenously on it. Lifting his face to hers in her hands, she looked at him with love and passion in her eyes and kissed him again, very slowly, wrapping her arms completely around his body to pull him as close to her as possible. He reciprocated, holding the back of her hand in his hands to more suitably kiss her.

“I need you, touch me…please,” she said softly.

“Turn around,” he told her.

Guiding her she did despite the look of question on her face. Crossing his arms in front of her, as if imprisoning her to him, she closed her eyes as she felt his mouth on her back, suckling hard leaving a very obvious mark where he mouth was. Kissing his way down her spine, nibbling and licking as he went, his hands cupped her breasts and squeezed gently, teasing the sensitive nipples. Trailing his hand down he made his way to the most delicate part of her and caressed her. She understood he didn’t want her to face him as he made love to her, and she was angered a little by that.

“Stefan, make love to me now,” she said, her legs very weakened beneath her.

Stefan immediately drove deeply within her moist heat, holding her body tightly still to never let her go. Laura gasped and supported herself with her hands against the wall, now her fingers clawing at it as he retreated slowly in and out of her. Her hand went to his arm that crossed her chest to hold her, and she leaned back against him for support. He could picture her face even though he couldn’t see it, her eyes tightly shut and her mouth gasping in ecstasy. He needed to kiss her.

“Laura,” he said and she turned her face back, and took his lips with hers.

He tongue plundered into her mouth as his lips held hers so there was no way to break free, and they mimicked their bodies with their mouths. Stefan left her body momentarily as she opened her mouth further to his, feeling him enter her once again, nearly lifting her off the floor in the process though she welcomed the punishment. Her breasts swayed a little with the motions of their bodies and Laura had to tear her lips away to be able to concentrate on surviving the increasing passion inside her. She felt Stefan driving into her, staking his claim on her and she wanted it.

Laura cried out when Stefan’s hands moved from her stomach down between her legs, touching her without mercy once again, drawing her closer to climax. Leaning back against him, her hair cascading down her back and against his chest, she constricted around him brought him to his release as he clutched her against him for support in the drowning sensations. Stefan’s entire body hardened once again and he grabbed her wrists, turning her around to face him, he made love to her again, this time with much less gentleness. Not that she minded, the slight pain of the wall banging against her increased the desperation and the passion until they both reached a second climax, much more violent than the first, and obtained much more quickly. Feeling her legs weaken after a few moments, she turned around to hug him, kiss him wetly on the lips as they sank together to the ground.

Surprised when he pushed her away from him, he dressed himself quickly, then as he was leaving he threw her dress at her.

“Dress yourself,” and he left.

Holding her dress, stunned beyond reason. Instead of letting it get to her, she took it for what it was and laughed once sarcastically with her own anger. Stefan hadn’t left, he watched her. Laura didn’t know that, but spoke to herself sarcastically, and angrily.

“Fine,” she said to herself, putting the dress back on. “It doesn’t matter who Nikolas’s father is, only how many Cassadines had me!” she said fastening the buttons. “Chauvinist bastard, of course I wouldn’t want to know who the father of my child is for any other reason than that, right? Because I’m such a slut. I hate to break it to you dear but I’m not the one who slept with my brother’s wife, so don’t talk to me about betrayal. They were your goddamn family, not mine. I owed them nothing! And you what, I’ll surrender to being a whore if you’ll just give up the campaign speech on it!” she shook her head and screamed in frustration, not knowing he was watching her.

Finding her shoes and slipping them on, she found her purse.

“You won that one too, but I’m not a weak little girl who won’t be every bit as good as you or cower from now on because you in more ways than one showed me I was a slut.”

She walked towards the docks with such confidence he smiled, loving her react that way, even if it meant she defeated his intentions.

Stefan stayed up all night thinking of all that had transpired between he and Laura for the past twenty years. He had given her all the chances she needed to ever tell him what he saw in her eyes when she looked at him was real. She barely did before all hell broke loose. Damn Katherine, damn Helena, damn Stavros, damn Lucky for making it impossible for her to feel safe and guilt free if she loved him. Not to mention Luke, but at least he left her when he found out, which Laura never chose to see. Or if she had she thought it would never last.

But all those precious moments they’d shared, they were always branded inside of him. She was the first and only person to ever reach him. She had betrayed him, more than once and he still could not stop loving her. It sickened him because she didn’t deserve it. She even knew she didn’t deserve it, so why wouldn’t it stop? She had changed his life forever, been the one woman who stood out in a crowded room. And she could always spot him out of a crowded room. At Steve Hardy’s funeral, she had known he was right behind her. They had their secret language, their memories, their bonds that no one could ever break but she had betrayed it all. She hadn’t had faith in him, and he didn’t have faith in her.

The only way to get her away from him was cruelty. He would have to hurt her badly enough that she would stop. Because he couldn’t take this again, having her almost in his arms only for her to leave again. And she would heal, she always did. What he would do to turn her away was be the cold-hearted Cassadine she had so easily believed he was before. So that’s all he could do.

Chapter 4

Laura stepped off the launch and as she made her way up the steps she found Stefan. It had been a month since she’d been here and she had to see him.

“Good, you’re here,” she said.

“You are not welcome here, and if I have to I will have a restraining order,” he said grabbing her by the arm and leading her back down the stairs.

“What the hell is wrong with you,” she said, tearing her arm from his grasp. “You think a restraining order will keep me from you? I’m a Spencer, the law doesn’t effect me, remember?”

“Whatever the hell you are you are not staying on my property one second longer-“

“What is going on? Why are you doing this!”

She grabbed his shoulders and pleaded with him to listen to her, never more desperate for anything in her life.

“Stefan wait, let me go, you don’t understand!” she cried. “Listen to me-“

“No, go to hell and stay there!”

“What the hell is going on? Take your hands off of me and don’t force me anywhere!”

He pushed her away from him and blazing fury flamed in her eyes.

“Stefan, listen to me! I have to tell you-“

“It’s nothing I haven’t already heard and I am through with you and your games and your definition and illusions of love!”

She was close the water, she remembered the first time she saw him again, they were standing right here. Fire and fury was there then too. But this was different.

“Yell at me as you might and call me everything in the book but you don’t understand, I love you-“

He grabbed her and dragged her towards the launch. Tears streamed down her face now.

“Stop it! Let go of me! I love you, listen to me-“

“No!”

He threw her back.

“Why are you doing this now! How can you be like this now!”

“What? What’s changed? Did you come here just to offer yourself again?”

“Did you greet me just to take me again and leave, making sure I understood what I hooker I am?” she shouted at him.

“I don’t ever want to see you again, certainly not on my island, run Lasha, escape the island. Swim to get off.”

“Fuck you,” she hissed.

Frantically breathing in and out from tears, fear, and frustration, her glass, gleaming eyes stared at him, trying to see through him but he wouldn’t let her. He was a brick wall and she wouldn’t fight anymore! Not now, she hated him in this moment more than she had hated anyone. She wiped her tears and glared at him.

“You’ve defeated me! Are you happy? You got your fucking revenge, you hurt me just like I hurt you! You think I didn’t recognize the damn pattern every time you’d make love to me and leave? The symbolism of that? Perfect way to make it clear what I did to you. Thank you very much, I understand now that you are completely…destroyed. And you allowed it, not me!”

“I gave my life to you, Laura, and you threw it away and now you come to me and you want it back? Life doesn’t work that way, you should know. We all have to learn to live without what we want, and believe me, in a few days you will heal and you’ll go on to someone else.”

How dare he stand there and tell her that, as if she was responsible for every choice he ever made in his life.

“No, that’s not true. I didn’t destroy you, you allowed it. You shut yourself off and you turned to being a Cassadine because you didn’t get what you wanted in life. And you can’t forgive. I can’t change that, but I am not responsible for turning you into the man I see in front of me. I hurt you badly, I betrayed you and I destroyed us! I’ll accept that. But don’t EVER pretend to lay your destruction and your black heart at me. I am standing right here, bleeding in front of you for you to see, but you can’t bring me to my knees and you can’t make me crumble to the floor. I love you,” she whispered hatefully.

He stared at her with no expression, he felt numb inside, he didn’t even want to hold her, though he did love her more than anything.

“And here I am,” she said tears streaming down her face. “You are seeing me cry NOW! Take a good look Stefan!” Laura said, throwing her arms up in defeat.

He looked at her thoroughly.

“Is it everything you hoped for? Did you seek your revenge, did you hurt me enough?!? I am bleeding, are you satisfied? Was it fun for you? Watch me, watch what you have turned me into, a person who knows you better than anyone. So you stay here, in this hell, and you live your life to punish me, by being evil and dark and cold! But you are a coward Stefan, and I love you no matter what,” she said.

Laura turned and walked onto the launch. The launch began to move, Stefan turned from the sight of it, he couldn’t watch her leave. He sucked in a breath as tears streamed down his face. She had gotten to him too much last time, he couldn’t even speak to her now, she would reel him in again.

A sudden noise came that nearly blew his eardrums as he turned to see the launch exploding in flames. Where was she? He couldn’t see her, how could it explode like that in front of his eyes and where was she? Where the hell was Wenders and what the hell had happened?

“Dear God,” he said, watching the flames.

“Stefan?” Laura said weakly as she held onto the edge of the docks.

“Laura!” he said running to her and pulling her up over the edge.

Her hair was tangling and covered in blood, as was her face.

“My God, what hurts, tell me what to do,” he said gathering her into his arms.

“Wenders…he’s dead, he tried to save me, he pushed me over the edge so I wouldn’t die.”

“Shh, you’ll be fine,” he said.

Though in desperate pain, she reached for his hand and held it weakly.

“I’m all right, I didn’t blow to flames in front of you, everything’s gonna be okay.”

He looked down at her, the love in her eyes changed to fear.

“Oh my God,” she said seriously. “Get help, Stefan, get help please,” she said and slowly closed her eyes slipping into unconsciousness.

XxX

General Hospital

Several Hours Later

Nikolas, Elizabeth, Lucky, Lesley, and Luke waited outside Laura’s room. Monica was performing emergency surgery on Laura. Alan and Bobbie assisted. Elizabeth held Nikolas’s hand tightly.

“She’s gonna be fine,” she assured.

“Who the hell sets a bomb in a boat?” Lucky said.

“Helena,” Lesley Webber said.

“No doubt,” Luke said, scared to death for Laura.

Monica, Alan, and Bobbie came out of the ER. Lesley jumped up first, the others followed anxiously.

“How is she? How is my daughter?”

“She survived the surgery,” Monica said.

“That doesn’t answer my question! Is she all right, is my baby all right?” Lesley said.

“The next twenty four hours are critical Lesley, you know that, you’re a doctor-“ Alan said.

“I’m a MOTHER!” Lesley shouted. “She is my whole life, and I will not let you stop until she is fine!”

“Grandma,” Lucky said but she had no reassuring words left in her to give.

“Is she conscious,” Luke asked.

“Not yet, she should be in a few hours.”

“A few hours?” Nikolas exclaimed.

“That’s perfectly normal Nikolas with the amount of anesthetics we had to give her through this long surgery.”

“W-why is there so much doubt in your voices?” Elizabeth said.

Bobbie looked down. “She suffered extreme traumas from the explosion.”

“Neurological?” Lesley Webber asked.

“No, not likely,” Monica said. “Her internal organs were bleeding very badly, and we have managed to stop it thank God, but I’m not sure that will be enough.”

“What do you mean?” Luke asked.

“The trauma was too much on her system even if you did temporarily stop the bleeding,” Lesley said.

Monica nodded, Lesley was a doctor, she knew the consequences of the extent of Laura’s injuries even if the critical ones are temporarily healed.

“Temporarily?” Nikolas questioned.

“The wounds could reopen, but it would be too risky to have not ended the surgery. The longer she is being operated on the easier infection would’ve been. We had to stop, and if the wounds reopen, we pray she’ll be strong enough to go another round of surgery.”

Bobbie had tears stream down her face and she turned away from the crowd. Dear God, Laura, when you wake up and I have to tell you. What if this can’t be reversed? At least Alan and Monica agreed not to tell anyone for now. Alexis walked by.

“Is everything all right?” she asked.

“No!” Lesley sobbed. “My daughter is in there holding on for dear life, and she could die at any minute!”

Alexis’s heart sped up. “What? What happened?”

“Natasha, apparently Laura was on a launch to Spoon Island and the boat exploded while she was on it. She just came out of surgery.”

“Oh my God! Is she all right?”

“No!” Lesley said. “And I can’t lose her twice because of the Cassadines, I can’t do it! I don’t care who’s right or who’s wrong, my daughter! I don’t care if it’s Helena, or Stefan, or any other damn member of the family. She is what I care about! She is the one who is important, not some feud or defending who did what! My only child and the only reason I am living is in there, barely breathing! She may NEVER recover, we don’t even know the extent of her injuries or the after effects and I don’t know how to survive without her!”

Alan encircled his lifelong friend in his arms and guided a sobbing Lesley.

“I swear to God I will kill Helena with my bear hands, Alan! How much does she want to do to my baby girl!”

Alan took Lesley aside. Alexis couldn’t believe it. Tears clouded her eyes.

“W-what does it look like?” she asked Monica.

“We’re hoping we’ve stopped the bleeding, that’s as much as we can pray for right now, is that she won’t bleed internally.”

“Is there nothing more you can do?” Luke asked.

Monica shook her head, trying to remain professional. “She is far too weak to survive another surgery right now.”

“Does Stefan know?” Alexis asked.

Monica stiffened at that. “He was holding her in his arms when the helicopter arrived on Spoon Island to bring her here. He says she jumped off the boat as it exploded and swam to the docks where he pulled her out.”

“W-why isn’t he here? Is he all right?”

Monica didn’t have much sympathy for Stefan at the moment. Laura, whom she had known and loved since she was fourteen, was lying in there dying. And Stefan didn’t even care that it wasn’t just Laura, it was Nikolas and someone else. And where was Stefan?

“I don’t know,” Monica said honestly.

“Seems the least he could do is show up!” Lucky said.

“Stop it, Lucky, that won’t help,” Elizabeth said.

“She’s right Lucky,” Luke said. “Your mom will be fine, she swam to shore, she can heal.”

Alexis began to become unglued. “Well, please keep me updated.”

“Since when do you care?” Nikolas said to Alexis, remembering how Alexis never took his mother’s side.

That comment stabbed Alexis painfully. “I do care, Nikolas. She’s your mother. And I don’t want her as Helena’s victim. I don’t want Helena to win. I’ll be back.”

Alexis dashed to the nearest pay phone because her cell had died. She scrambled to stuff the quarters in the slot and dialed Stefan.

“Stefan Cassadine,” he finally answered.

“Stefan! It’s me, I’m here at the hospital, what the hell happened?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, when are you coming down here?”

“I’m not,” he said.

“What? Why the hell not?”

“She has her family.”

“She could DIE, Stefan! She needs you. She went there for you!”

Stefan paused, she could tell he was dying inside.

“Stefan, please, she could die, don’t you understand that, get down here for Nikolas if nothing else!”

“I can’t, I’m sorry.”

“Stefan you’ll never forgive yourself-“ he hung up while she was in mid sentence. “Dammit,” she shouted, hanging the phone up harshly.

“He’s not coming, is he?” Nikolas said.

“Jesus,” Alexis said, turning around. “Not right now, no, your uncle is having a hard time.”

“Not right now,” Nikolas repeated. “So…I should hold my hopes up for him showing up when she dies?”

“She’s not going to die, she’s not. And Stefan had to watch her go up in flames once before, he can’t deal with it-“

“You’re blaming this on my mother?”

This wasn’t going well.

“No, Nikki.”

“She loves me!” Nikolas said. “No matter how much you always told me I was only an afterthought of hers!”

She clamped Nikolas to her. She kissed his head, trembling in fear as well. “Of course she does, of course she does. She loves you with every breath she takes. She would give her life for you, she would give more than her life and she did. She gave up seeing you to keep you out of harms way from the wars that would start from trying to get you back.”

“She loved me,” he whispered, hugging Alexis too tightly. “She loved me.”

“Yes! She does love you. She put your safety ahead of her desire to raise you! She did. She is gonna be fine.”

Chapter 5

Two Days Later

2:14 PM

Laura had regained consciousness. Incredibly weak and far from being out of critical condition, she stayed with Lucky, Elizabeth, Bobbie, Lesley, Nikolas, and Luke. She wished she knew why Stefan wouldn’t see her. Surely he cared enough to care if she lived or died, she wasn’t asking for anything other than to see him.

“You all right,” Lesley said, caressing her face.

“Yes, I’ll be fine.”

“Promise me that,” Lesley said.

“I promise. I just feel like hell, I don’t feel like I’m dead. Can I see Luke alone for a minute?”

“Sure,” Lesley said. “Don’t go anywhere,” she said and Laura laughed.

Luke came in. “You all right, Angel?”

She reached for his hand. “I will be. What did the doctors tell you?”

Luke didn’t want to talk about that as he sat down holding her hand.

“Luke, don’t try to keep something from me. I may be in a hospital bed but I will slug you like there’s no tomorrow if you don’t tell me the truth, and ALL of it.”

“Whew, nothing ever keeps you down long, does it? There could be complications, but every minute you’re conscious and alive increases your chances to heal completely.”

Laura searched his eyes. “Is that all?”

Luke was confused. “What is it that you’re expecting to hear?”

“Nothing. I’m glad you’re here,” she said, bringing his hand to her face.

“I’m always gonna love you,” he said. “I was scared out of my mind.”

“You’re always out of your mind,” she said smiling.

“Thank you,” he said, caressing her face. “Lulu’s fine, she wants to see you of course, Lucky and Nikki and I are all with her. Elizabeth has been terribly anxious to see you.”

“Oh please send her in,” Laura pleaded desperately. “I need to talk to her.”

“All right, don’t pop a blood vessel,” he said standing up.

She laughed and it hurt. “Don’t make me laugh,” she mumbled.

“Sorry,” he said. “Seeing you flash me the baby blues is enough to make me feel alive. Thank God you’re all right.”

He leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips and she hugged him.

“I’m okay,” she said. “Thank you for being here. How’s Holly?”

“She’s fine, she’s much better. I pray to God there isn’t a relapse. As soon as she was released from the hospital I took the first flight home and I had to sit in this hospital waiting for you to wake up and yell at me.”

Laura smiled. “Back and forth between hospitals, I’m sure it’s your idea of a good day. Please call Holly and tell her I want her to be fine, and I’m glad everything’s all right.”

“You got it,” Luke said and left.

“Luke? Thanks for not saying anything to me about the Cassadines.”

He smiled. “Well would you like me to start,” he said sarcastically.

“Shut up,” she teased.

Two seconds later Elizabeth came in.

“Laura, you all right, I was so worried about you,” she said sitting down and taking Laura’s hand.

“Oh I’m fine, honey. You look awful, haven’t you slept?”

“Not until you woke up,” Elizabeth said.

“How are they?”

“Better now that you’re awake, but still afraid. But I’m not leaving either one of them.”

“Thank you, I love you.”

“What can I do for you?”

“Stefan,” Laura breathed. “I need to see him, please find him and ask him to come and see me. I have to tell him something.”

“It’s important,” Elizabeth stated from Laura’s pleads.

“Yeah, and I can’t tell anyone else, so please try to find him for me. But don’t tell anyone else, all right? This is something I am asking you, and you alone. Just try for me if you would and I will take you to Europe for doing this.”

“Okay, of course I will. I’ll go right now, and no one will know.”

“Thank you,” Laura said and suddenly fell asleep.

“Mr. Cassadine?”

“Yes?”

“This is Elizabeth Webber.”

“How can I help you?”

“I’m calling for Laura. She needs to see you.”

“Tell her I send my regards but that is not possible at the moment.”

Elizabeth wanted to slap him.

“No, I don’t think you understand Mr. CassaDINE, Laura just survived being blown up by YOUR launch while going to your island. She is calling for you and she needs you.”

“Luke Spencer is there,” he said casually.

Elizabeth tried NOT to go ballistic. “I don’t know what’s going on here, but the point is that Laura wants you, she is calling for you and the fact that you didn’t see her when she was one breath from dying is something I don’t understand. Do you love Nikolas at all?”

Stefan closed his eyes in pain.

“Look, I didn’t call you up to argue with you, but Laura deserves better than this, I don’t care what happened. She almost died in your presence and all you can say is you send her your regards?”

“Tell Laura I hope she has a quick recovery,” he replied.

“Tell her yourself!” Liz said as she slammed the phone down.

Elizabeth tried to pull herself together. What the hell was wrong with him? Did he have no decency in him? Laura was asleep, why tell her now? She’ll come back tomorrow and fill her in. Elizabeth went home for the evening and tried to sleep.

“You are worthless, my sweet. You never deserved Stavros and now you have killed him. My son, my life. And I will keep yours, because he deserved to know his strong, brilliant father instead of the one mistake Stavros ever made in his life and that was to even look at a whore like you.”

Laura in tears over her mother would not give up.

“Give me back my baby,” she sobbed weakly.

“Oh, you poor pathetic bitch.”

“No, don’t go, Helena, give me my child, Stavros was raping me when he died and I didn’t kill him! He fell down the stairs and broke his neck, give me Nikolas.”

Laura tried to move past Helena to the gate. Helena gripped Laura’s beautiful, twenty two year old face, her nails digging into the precious skin.

“Be careful, Lasha. I am letting you live out of respect for Stavros, my son who is dead because he loved a weak child like you. But if you attempt to see Nikolas, EVER, you will lose everyone else.”

“I don’t care,” Laura said trying to move past her.

“Oh don’t you,” Helena said. “You have already killed your mother and Nikolas’s nanny. How many lives will it take, Laura? Until you realize you will die before you ever touch your child. I am giving you freedom, don’t make me disrespects my sons wishes and end your life. You took my son from me, I will take yours. And you will be motherless, just like your son.”

“No,” Laura sobbed. “Let go of me you bitch! Give me my child!”

Helena laughed. “You never learn, careful, your sister, your husband, and maybe another man in your life.”

Laura’s eyes widened.

“You can taunt me all you want and I don’t care as long as you let me be with my child!”

“You don’t have a child, Stavros has an heir. You are a woman, you are nothing. Don’t push me dear, let me honor Stavros by letting you live. It means nothing to kill those whom you love, but if it comes down to it, I will take you. You will contaminant Stavros’s child with your childlike dreams and weak views of the world.”

“Weak views I know about love! You don’t! You never did. You don’t love Stavros, you just knew he was as sick as you were!”

“How dare you speak of Nikolas that way.”

“Nikolas is me! Nikolas is a baby with love and beauty inside of him and I will be damned if I let you take that from him! You are a monster, and you will not turn my son into a clone of your sick, perverted Stavros. Get out of my way!”

Helena blocked Laura.

“Helena,” Laura said with warning, yet shaking with tears.

“You destroyed my husband, my son, and that is ALL you will take from me you self absorbed blonde bitch. That is my grandson, and he will grow up to conquer the world. Only he won’t fail like his father or grandfather did because I will be there, raising your son. I will be there for his first word, for his first step, and he will know the truth about you. That you murdered his father and were a whore in more ways than I can count.”

Helena cupped Laura’s face.

“You did one decent thing in your miserable life, you gave birth to Stavros’s child. You had just enough strength to do that. And nothing will stop the Cassadines now. Go Laura, go mourn your mother, and don’t push another death to occur out of stupidity. You know you will never win, let it go. Or maybe you will endanger your child.”

She was bluffing, she had to be!

“You would never harm Stavros’s child!”

“Nikolas is half you, and I must exterminate that at a young age, so stay of my hair, and your son will live to be everything his father should have.”

“No! I love my son more than life, you forced me off of that island to trick me! And I’m not gonna let you win this!”

“You were smart enough to leave alive, you were becoming so much more of a pest,” Helena sneered.

“You made me believe that my husband was dead, and then you sold me to your son and then you had your heir so you took a chance to get to me willingly leave the island even though you KNEW I would come back, and you think you can get rid of me now?”

“Laura please, you really should calm down, do you need a sedative?”

“Cut the crap Helena, and give me my child! Please,” Laura begged, breaking down.

“Please, that was a nice attempt, I’m sorry you did it so badly. You had everything, and you threw it away. Live with it.”

“I did not throw my son away and I’m not going to now!”

Helena smiled. “I wonder what your mother’s body looks like now, I wonder if she is watching you right now, knowing what you did. Knowing you married a Cassadine and had his baby and left to see her and your husband? I wonder if it was worth it to her, or to you. Was it worth her seeing you alive again, only to have you kill her?”

Laura shook her head, that wasn’t how it happened. Laura heard someone call her name suddenly and she turned around. No one. Laura turned back quickly, Helena. Where was Helena? Where did she go? NO!

“No, dammit!” Laura said bolting towards the gate.

It was closed, Laura saw Helena’s jet leaving.

“I hate you, Helena! I have always hated you! You take my child and you take my life and then you throw it back in my face and give me half my life only to steal the other half!” Laura sobbed as she slowly sank to the floor, sobbing loudly, nearly choking. “Oh God, NIKOLAS! Where are you? How can I get to you please, honey! I love you more than anything in the world and I’m sorry! I’m SORRY!” she screamed to the world. “What have I done, oh my God, Mom, I’m sorry, please forgive me, please help me! Someone help me oh my GOD,” Laura clenched her teeth and fists together so angry she could kill, her stomach in knots as she became more furious and the tears deeper.

Someone touched her shoulder.

“Kyria?” a man said, helping her up.

In Greek, Laura thanked the man, took a deep breath, and went home. Please Stefan, do anything for our son. Forgive me, I wasn’t strong enough. You are.

“Nikolas!” Laura screamed, waking up in a cold sweat, breathing frantically.

“Laura, it’s all right, it was just a dream,” Stefan said, holding both her hands standing over her.

“Oh my God,” Laura said trying to sit up.

“Don’t move, you’ll injure yourself.”

Laura was still calming down. “Dammit,” she whispered to herself.

“What were you dreaming?”

Laura’s breathing was slowing down. “God…the airport, Helena. What she said, and after she left.”

Laura closed her eyes and exhaled, he brushed the hair from her eyes and squeezed her hand.

“Okay, okay, it’s over. What time is it?” she said wearily.

“It’s early in the morning.”

“How early?”

“Around eight o’clock.”

Laura rubbed her eyes. “I feel like hell and I’m sure I look worse.” Laura shook her head. “Dammit, that dream, God I hate her.”

Stefan smiled. “That shows there was no permanent cranial damage.”

“She did it, she planted the explosives didn’t she?”

“Your guess is as good as mine. What did you need to see me for?”

Now as good a time as any.

“There’s something you didn’t know that I have to tell you.”

Stefan stood up and went to the window, unable to face her.

“I’ve heard it, Laura.”

“Stop it! You don’t know this and you are going to shut up and listen and then you can leave.”

The door burst open and it was Bobbie.

“Laura, fabulous news. I had to come rushing and tell you myself. Despite the miscarriage and the damage to your system, you can still have children, your reproductive system is fine.”

Laura’s eyes widened in complete shock that her luck was this bad. She couldn’t face Stefan. She stared at Bobbie with wide eyes and her mouth half open in aggravation and shock.

“Laura,” Bobbie said. Then she turned and saw Stefan. Bobbie turned away, wanting to have the floor swallow her. “I am sorry, I should’ve knocked.”

Stefan was staring angrily at Laura and she felt his eyes on her but couldn’t look at him.

“Thank you, Bobbie, can I please have a minute alone with Stefan?”

“Laura, as a nurse I’m not sure that’s a good idea. You barely survived when few of us thought you would. You need to be under as little stress as possible-“

“Please Bobbie,” Laura said. “I won’t break.”

“I’m sorry,” Bobbie lip sank to Laura. Then Bobbie looked at Stefan. “Uh, Stefan? Don’t upset her. I know that’s like saying don’t breathe, but try to refrain for now. She is just barely alive, and I will not have you endangering her. You weren’t here to force her to live, you sure as hell are not going to harm her-“

“Bobbie,” Laura snapped.

Bobbie sighed. “I could really be killed for doing this, but I will be right outside.”

Bobbie left.

“Miscarriage?” Stefan said.

“That’s what I was trying to tell you.”

He sat down next to her. “How about telling me you were pregnant? And am I to assume it was mine?”

Laura closed her eyes at that harsh comment and just blew it off.

“I tried to tell you I was pregnant right before I found myself in the water,” she said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he demanded.

“Oh, and when should I? When you were forcing me off your island and your life? When you were telling me I was nothing and that I ruined your life and that I was a cheap heartless woman who never knew what love meant?”

“You should’ve told me!”

“I wasn’t about to then!”

“Why not?”

Laura couldn’t believe he actually had to ask.

“Because you wanted nothing to do with me and I wasn’t going to bind you to me with a baby! I was scared all right? I’m not going to force you to have a relationship with me just because I have your child! I don’t have the right to do that and I don’t want to do that! So forgive me you son of a bitch if I had to think about how I was going to tell you after you told me I was nothing to you!”

“So you planned never to tell me?”

“Of course I did! I would never not tell you about our baby! But I had to find a way to do it without binding you to me.”

“Why?”

“Why do you think?” she shouted. “I just told you! Because you wanted nothing to do with me, you made that quite clear dragging me down the stairs and shoving me onto the launch! Hell, you didn’t even want to see me here! You didn’t care whether I lived or died so forgive me if I had to think for a few days about how to tell you!”

Laura turned her head away as the tears strolled down her face. Stefan felt waves of guilt crash against his heart as he reached for Laura’s face.

“Don’t touch me now, I lost the baby.”

“Don’t get yourself all worked up, you have to recover.”

“Really? Since when do you care? Look, I wanted you to come here so I could tell you the truth and now I have so just get out.”

She was trying not to cry and he couldn’t believe he’d reacted this way.

“Laura-“

“You reacted a little worse than I thought you would but I guess it was inevitable.”

“You lost my child,” he said softly.

“It was my child too, and I wanted it.”

He said nothing, he was still in shock. Laura tried to move her leg a little but she couldn’t. She had never felt that before, what was wrong? She tried again and became more and more terrified. She could feel them, why couldn’t she MOVE THEM!!!

“Bobbie!” she called. “Bobbie help me!”

“What’s wrong,” Stefan said to her, holding both her hands.

Bobbie burst through the door. “What’s wrong, Laura?”
“My legs, I can’t move them! Why?”

“Oh my God,” Bobbie said. “Hold on.”

She went and got Alan and Monica. Laura reached up to hold Stefan impulsively. He held the back of her head and whispered soothing words to her.

“I can feel my legs but I can’t move them, oh my God I’m paralyzed,” Laura whispered lying back down and releasing Stefan.

He cupped her face. “Laura, open your eyes and look at me.”

“Get out,” she said, not opening her eyes.

“Laura, you don’t know what’s going on, you don’t know. You have to calm down because it might be nothing.”

“You realize you can’t move your legs and then you try to calm down!”

Alan, Monica, and Bobbie came in.

“All right, Laura, it’s gonna be all right. Just let me examine you,” Monica said. She squeezed Laura’s calf gently. “Can you feel this?”

“Y-yes,” Laura said, tears down her face. “I can feel everything, why can’t I move them?”

“All that means is that your sensory skills are completely in tact but your motor skills are disabled,” Monica told her.

“Disabled? What the hell does that mean?” Laura asked.

“I don’t know, we need X-rays, Bobbie, the whole bit.”

“Got it,” Bobbie said, getting the equipment ready.

“Does it hurt when I do this,” Monica said, squeezing harder.

“No, it feels normal, except for the cuts and bruises from the explosion,” Laura said.

Alan was busy checking the rest of Laura’s injuries, her heart, her wounds, her organs. Laura felt like a lab rat.

“Mr. Cassadine, I have to ask you to leave,” Alan said.

“Is she all right,” he asked.

“That’s what we are trying to determine,” Alan said. “Please go.”

“Stefan, come with me,” Bobbie said firmly.

Stefan followed her out of the room. Bobbie was about as dangerous as Laura when angry.

“What the hell is wrong with her?” Stefan demanded.

“I don’t know,” Bobbie said honestly. “We have to run several tests on her to determine that.”

“Take a guess, Barbara, that’s what you’re paid for.”

Bobbie would’ve liked to tell him to go to hell for that but she could tell he was scared to death. And he had just lost his baby.

“It could be a lot of things, including nothing.”
“Nothing does not include not being able to move her legs!”

“That’s not what I meant. But the least critical injury that is causing this is only inflammation of the nerves that allow her to move her legs.”

“What does that mean? What will happen?”

“That means Laura will be put on medications to decrease the inflammation, she is not paralyzed but will need minimum therapy to help her along once the swollen nerves have gone back to normal. But she will not have to relearn walking, and there is no spinal damage at all. She will just have to wait and test herself after the inflammation goes away.”

“Physical therapy? For how long?”

“Since it is not paralysis it would be only weeks, not months or years.”

“All right, Barbara, what are the other possibilities, that being the least critical?”

“She could have compressed nerves, slipped disks, her spinal cord could have severe injuries.”

“Could she be permanently paralyzed?” Stefan asked.

Bobbie didn’t want to answer that. He knew that meant yes.

“Dammit,” he said. “Listen, I will do anything I can to make sure that doesn’t happen. I will call in the best doctors, I will pay any amount necessary to make sure she has the best treatment available on this planet.”

“Well, let me acquire a diagnosis before anyone makes any decisions, and they will be Laura’s,” Bobbie said. “Excuse me,” she said returning to the room.

Stefan walked through the hospital, running into Alexis.

“Oh my God, Stefan, you look like shit!”

“Thank you,” he said sitting down, covering his face with one hand.

Alexis sat down next to him, rubbing his shoulders. “Okay, tell me what happened. Is it Laura?”

“She might be paralyzed.”

“Oh God, how do you know?”

“Because she can’t move her legs,” he snapped.

That’s a good reason. “Is she all right otherwise?”

“She’s mad at me, that shows she has sanity.”

“Why is she mad at you, because you didn’t show up until now?”

“That and I was unsympathetic to say the least when I found out she miscarried in that explosion.”

Alexis couldn’t have heard right.

“Laura was pregnant?”

“Yes. I didn’t know, she came that day to tell me, and I did everything other than hit her. I was abusive and I manhandled her and I said everything I could think of to hurt her. I forced her onto the launch.”

Oh shit, that wasn’t good. Remain positive…

“Okay, and she didn’t tell you?”

“She…tried to, I wouldn’t listen to her then or now. It was Barbara who came into Laura’s room telling her she could still have children. Then I exploded at Laura, saying more horrible things because I couldn’t deal with the fact that I killed our baby.”

Alexis caressed Stefan’s face. “You didn’t kill your baby, it was Helena.”

“I forced Laura onto that launch!”

“You didn’t know she was pregnant!”

“So it was only worth not forcing her on the launch for the baby? Forget that she may never be able to walk again? And maybe I would have known if I had shut up long enough to hear what she was trying to tell me.”

Stefan placed his face in his hands. Alexis felt terrible for him.

“All right, does Laura hold it against you that the baby died?”

“No, she holds what she should against me, my reaction and my accusations. And now she is paralyzed.”

“You don’t know that!”

“She can’t move her legs, Alexis, that’s all I need to know.”

“Look at me Stefan, I love you. Everything is going to be fine, because it appears Laura seems to be indestructible.”

Alexis smiled, and Stefan knowing that was true smiled back a little.

“Let me take you home,” she said.

“I can’t leave her.”

She pulled him up. “No, we’ll come back tomorrow, we’re not gonna leave her. You look like hell, you need to sleep and get out of this mood before you see her again.”

“I love you,” he told her.

Chapter 6

Laura awoke the next morning and saw Alexis watching her.

“Alexis, hi.”

“Hi, Laura. How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been blown up,” Laura said.

“Stefan told me what happened.”

Laura opened her eyes and looked at Alexis.

“O…kay.”

“Do you know what’s wrong with your legs?”

Laura shook her head. “They’re supposed to tell me today.”

“I’m very sorry, Laura. I truly am. But I think you’ll get better. You’ve survived worse.”

Laura attempted a thank you smile, but was very sad.

“Look, Laura, Stefan feels terrible. And you know my brother, when he realizes he’s been wrong he gets all defensive and has this big tough attitude where he is cold and he shuts himself off from what he cares about most.”

Laura nodded. “And what is it you’re asking me to do?”

“Stefan wants to help you, he wants to do anything he can to make sure you have a complete recovery.”

“Oh I see. So now that I am disabled and possibly permanently injured, he wants to rescue me, take care of me? It’s fine to fuck me and walk away but once I’m that girl back on the island who couldn’t do anything he wants to help me?”

Since when does Laura say fuck?

“Laura, Stefan is a man, keyword, idiot. He has a big stupid ego and the only way he knows how to deal with his pain is to fix it! And he lost his child and he thinks he killed it and damaged you and he wants to make it better. Now he doesn’t have the brains to come in here and tell you he loves you and that he was a big fat jerk, he can only feel worthy again by being there for you. You know him, you know he’s a typical man who can’t deal with his feelings so let him do it his way.”

Laura closed her eyes and shook her head a little.

“I can’t believe you are asking me to sooth his pain!”

“Do you love him?”

Laura sucked in a breath. “I don’t know.”

“Yes you do.”

“No I don’t!” Laura shouted honestly. “Alexis, I don’t. I loved him so much but I didn’t deserve what he did to me. I know I am saying that to the wrong person but I really don’t appreciate him making love to me and then tossing my dress at me and telling me to cover myself. I don’t appreciate him beginning to make love to me and then telling me that Luke must not be doing his job which is why I’m so hot for him and the only time I get sexually aroused is when I’m being raped. I didn’t deserve him telling me that if I needed sex all I had to do was ask. I didn’t deserve him telling me that I would probably have never told him about the baby and that I was attempting to keep the secret from him! So comforting him and his pain is not the first thing on my to do list right now.”

Alexis surprisingly took Laura’s hand.

“Then torture him. Do what you do best and drive him crazy. Make him regret the day he ever said any of those things. Get the bastard back. You have a chance, take it, it is what you want, and it’s what he wants. You know that, and you know my brother better than anyone so you do what it takes to make him love you. You can. Punish him for hurting you by making him see how much he wants you.”

Alexis stood up.

“And for what it’s worth, I am truly sorry about the baby, I’m sure you wanted it more than anything. And I know how my brother gets when he’s furious and I don’t think you did anything wrong. On the contrary you risked your health and your heart to tell him the truth even when you knew it wouldn’t be pretty. Helena put you in this bed, get out of it, and take her family from her. And don’t give up.”

Two Weeks Later

Laura was going to be fine. Growing stronger everyday, and as soon as she left the hospital she could begin living again, and regaining control of her legs. It had only been the inflammation of her nerves, cutting off her motor skills but not her sensory nerves. She was lucky, and as soon as the inflammation decreased, she would be able to walk again. Her family had stayed with her every minute. She was so bored in the hospital she was desperate to get out, she didn’t care how. Luke had just informed her that Holly had been admitting to the hospital again.

“Please go, Luke, I’ll be fine.”

“You going to stay with Vlad?”

“Why do you ask?”

“I know you, and I’d like to know where I can reach you.”

“Dial the number of hell and I’ll be there,” she said.

“You have to promise me someone will take care of you, and if that’s him I could have other choices in mind but he hates his mother so much he would never let anything happen to you.”

“That’s flattering, thank you.”

“I can’t complain when I am going to see Holly.”

“You’re damn right you can’t,” Laura smiled.

“And for what it’s worth, Vlad loves you.”

Laura became uncomfortable and Luke noticed.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Stay as long as you need to. Holly doesn’t have any family and if I could walk, I would go too. Tell her it’s a contest between us, who can recover faster.”

“Ooh, that’ll be interesting,” Luke said.

“Thanks. Stay with her until she’s healed, hell invite her to come back here.”

“You got it, and I mean it, you call me if you need a nail file! All right?”

“I promise.”

A few minutes after Luke left Laura dozed off, only to be awakened by Stefan. He said nothing but she felt his presence. Opening her eyes, this was the moment she had feared. How to respond.

“Hello.” That was a good start.

“How do you feel?”

“Better. Almost healed.”

“You always did recover faster than expected.”

Was that a complement?

“Thank you.”

“You know why I’m here, don’t you?”

Why deny it?
“Alexis told me.”

“I see. Is that a yes?”

Laura breathed in deeply. “I’m not a charity, Stefan. I’m not something you use to absolve your guilt, you didn’t cause this.”

“If our positions were reversed, would you not feel responsible in any way?”

“You’re right, of course I would. But that’s not exactly a complement.”

“It can be. Besides, you don’t have a lot of options.”

“Don’t I?” she replied.

“No, not really.”

“Stefan, I am really not pleased with the idea of staying at Wyndemere because you’d like to make up somehow for the fact that I am temporarily paralyzed.”

“You’re not a charity, Laura. You know you were never the easiest person to be around, and certainly not one to feel sorry for.”

She glared at him humorously.

“We lost a baby, I can’t save that baby, but I want to be there for you, don’t begrudge me that.”

Laura sighed. “All right, all right, I understand, we lost a child, we should mourn that together and not blame each other, all right. But if you offend me in any way-“

“I will be on my best behavior.”

“You?” she teased. “You realize it has not been pleasant the last few months between us, so I hope this is not a continuation of that.”

“Laura-“

“I said yes,” she affirmed.

Several Nights Later

Wyndemere

Laura sat in the living room on the couch, enjoying the fire. She was incredibly bored and felt incredibly useless. She hated not being able to move her legs, how perfect for Helena, make her helpless and a child again. She couldn’t be alone, she needed a lot of treatments and attention and it urged Laura to throw something.

“What’s wrong,” Stefan said.

She turned to him, she couldn’t even make a facial expression without him knowing what it was. He had been so good to her, he’d taken her flying on his private jet, thinking of ways to keep her from being confined and bored, but there was only so much he could do to distract her.

“It’s a little aggravating not being able to do anything. I never realized how much of your life you relied on your legs. I don’t know, I know it’ll pass, I know I’ll get better, but I still would like to not feel so useless.”

An idea came into Stefan’s mind, and he walked over to her.

“Then come with me,” he said holding his hands out to her.

She looked at his hands and then at him. “What?”

“Take my hands, take a chance, come on,” he urged.

“Don’t make fun of me,” she whispered laughing.

She took his hands and he pulled her up. Placing her in the wheelchair he took her outside.

“Are you taking me for a walk, because if you are-“

“I’m not taking you for a walk, goodness you’re impatient.”

She turned around and shut her mouth, though it was hard not to say anything. They reached a lake. She turned around to him.

“This where you took Katherine?”

“No, but I thank you for bringing that up.”

“Sorry,” Laura said. “Can’t help but wonder how much you enjoy helping paralyzed women. So what are you doing?”

“You don’t need your legs to swim.”

“Stefan-“

“If you argue with me I will throw you in.”

“Oh great,” she said sarcastically.

He pulled her by her hand out of the wheelchair and put her gently in the water. God it felt good, a little cool, but it was nighttime. She really didn’t want her hair to get into it, it would be a bitch to brush out later.

“You have a scrunchy?” she asked.

“A what?”

“Never mind.”

She began treading slowly with her arms. Unexpectedly he took her arm lightly and pulled her to him. Noticing he was now shirtless she looked up at him.

“Are you being obvious?” she said, a little stunned by his possessiveness.

“No, not at all,” he replied and she laughed.

She leaned her head against his chest, thinking. “It’s so strange, I can feel the sand beneath my feet, but I can’t control anything. If I couldn’t feel it, that would make more sense. I never imagined being paralyzed and being able to feel. It’s so much more frustrating because you don’t understand why you can’t move.”

He heard the pain in her voice and pulled her closer to embrace her. Resting her chin on his shoulder, she felt him wrap his arms around her. She wondered what it would’ve been like had their baby lived. She wondered what it would’ve been, if it would have her huge smile, which she prayed the poor dear wouldn’t. Imagining the baby through her memories of Nikolas, Lucky, and Lesley Lu.

“I wish I could’ve given you our baby,” she said softly, resting her face against his beautiful chest. “I was only a few weeks, two at most, I was lucky enough to find out. And because the baby was so young the miscarriage was relatively easy on my body. Miscarriages are common at that time but not from being in an accident like that.”

Closing his eyes painfully, he reached for her face, caressed the side of it. Keeping the continuous hold of her eyes with his, Laura weakened a little and didn’t protest when he leaned down to gently touch her lips with his. Barely moving, only using his mouth to tilt her face up gaining slightly better access. Her hot breath mingled with his and she realized this would be too hard.

“Stefan,” she said, turning her face from his.

Holding her hands on his arms for support and released him and tried to move.

“Where are you going?”

“I can’t do this, I have to go-“

Holding her wrists he prevented her from leaving. It became harder with his refusal of letting her go.

“Stefan, let me go, I’m cold and I-“

“Then come here,” he said pulling her into his protective embrace. Holding the back of her head and the length of her back with his arm, he held her firmly against his body, which made it even more difficult for her. “It’s all right,” he said, kissing the top of her head.

ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME? It would’ve been so easy to wrap her arms back around him, but she couldn’t. Then she might not stop there, and then she would mess up again. His beautiful chest felt so good, his arms around her, the cool water where she could move without the use of her legs. It was beautiful, and she felt beautiful, but also felt gut wrenching pain swallowing her. Why had she agreed to do this? She pressed her hand against his chest to pull back from him.

“I have to go, I can’t do this, it’s too…hard. I have a Charlie horse,” she whispered in pain.

Laura broke free and swam the little distance it was to the edge of the lake. She lifted herself to the edge so perfectly you could barely tell she had no control over her legs. Sitting on the edge she reached for a towel and wrapped her shivering body in it, covering her eyes with her hand afterwards, completely humiliated by herself and having the tears rise up inside her. Then the pain shot up in her leg and she began massaging it desperately.

Stefan came to the edge beside her.

“What is it?”

“I have a Charlie horse,” she snapped.

“What?”

“A cramp in my leg!”

Tears were streaming down her face from the physical and emotional pain. Taking her leg and placing it over his lap, he began slowly massaging it. She flinched a little.

“Sorry, it hurts.”

“It’s all right,” he said soothingly, his fingers piercing the twisted muscles.

“Mmmm, ouch! Sorry, sorry, all right.”

Stefan continued the massage and Laura didn’t even remember exactly when the pain left, only noticing that he was attempting more than just a massage. It felt like heaven, but it made her uncomfortable at the same time. She felt torn between the two sides of Stefan she knew.

“Your performance the night of your death…oh that was remarkable. I particularly like the sweet kiss on the lips before you walked into the exploding building.”

She, every bit as angry as he only glared.

“That kiss was no performance. You left me no choice. I had to protect my mother,” she said smoothly as ever.

“I’ll suppose you’ll tell me next you had no choice in conceiving Nikolas either.”

She couldn’t even be stunned he would say that. No, it was her choice to make love to him, but staring at him now she saw him nothing more as an adversary, an enemy, someone she hated with more passion than she’d ever hated before. Her eyes narrowed as she gave him a sarcastic, hateful look.

“Conceiving Nikolas may have been my choice but getting involved with you was the biggest mistake of my life.” She smiled, “Obviously, I’ll be paying for that forever.”

He was unaffected by her words. “Oh that won’t be long enough for what you’ve done.”

She proceeded to ask Stefan to see Nikolas again. Pleading until he refused adamantly, she asked the biggest question of all.

“Promise me you won’t tell him the truth,” she said.

He didn’t say anything at first, then spoke viciously. “Truth? The truth about what.”

The pure anger melted over her and she couldn’t hold it in any longer. “God I hate you,” she hissed.

“Say it!” he said lashing his hand out at her. Normally it would’ve surprised and frightened her, but she didn’t even blink. “Say it Lasha! I wanna hear you say the words!”

She was nearly grinding her teeth together she was so furious. He wanted to hear her ADMIT they had been lovers. Fine.

“That you’re his FATHER,” she whispered passionately, her look of hatred never faltering in that sentence.

Laura moved Stefan’s hands off her calves.

“Stefan, stop, don’t play me for a fool.”

He pulled her to him to hold her. She protested at first then lost strength and rested in his arms as he rocked her slowly.

“Stefan, I have to leave, I can’t stay here. This hurts.”

“What hurts? What, do I need to call someone?”

“No! Not that kind of hurt,” she said pulling away and sitting up, realizing with every movement how much she did depend on her legs. Laura wiped her tears. “I hate it when you see me cry. The only reason you are doing this is because we had a baby. If I hadn’t had a baby you would still be furious and unforgiving towards me. And I really don’t want to be here when it’s not real, it is pain and misery and regrets.”

“Why is it all pain, I lost a child too, and I did help cause it, I should’ve been there for you to be able to tell.”

“Why?” she demanded. “Why? There was nothing else I could’ve said that could’ve made any difference. So it’s fine for me to tell you I’m having your baby but nothing else? What would’ve happened if the child had lived? Would you have married me? Would you have had joint custody? Would you have taken the baby from me out of anger? I didn’t want to bind you to me when I was pregnant and I certainly don’t want to now. So, please, I hate asking, but take me back to the house and tomorrow I will go.”

Stefan took Laura’s hands and she flinched as if it hurt.

“What,” she whispered. “What?”

“I don’t want you to go. I know what I’ve said, but I should have been there and I want to be now.”

“Because you feel guilty, I wish I could take that from you but this hurts a lot, because you know I love you.”

He gripped her face firmly in his strong hands. “No, not just from guilt. Laura, tell me that you’re not in pain, that your surgical scars or your legs-“

“I’m fine,” she said, trembling.

He leaned in and touched his forehead to hers, hearing her breaths of pain she was trying to conceal. Barely caressing her cheek with the back of his hand, he traced her face with loving fingertips, then went down to her neck. The creamy skin he touched made him want more, he wanted to taste it.

“Stefan, don’t do that,” she said, moving his hand from her neck.

Gripping the back of her head she opened her eyes and looked up at him.

“Don’t do what,” he asked softly. “This?”

Using his hold on her to tilt her head back he drew her into a deep kiss. Caught off guard, she felt Stefan’s arm go around her shoulder, behind her back to pull her to an almost lying down position on the ground. She protested against his lips, more in shock than in anger, yet Stefan still held her head off the ground with one of his hands. Laura resisted at first, but his warm insistent mouth broke through her and she returned his kisses for several long seconds. The kiss instantly grew so fast and so heated that Stefan exhaled heavily in protest when she finally broke the kiss.

“I really can’t do this,” she said, such pain in her eyes.

She looked at him only to see his smoldering gaze staring at her mouth. She endured a shudder of desire as he rubbed a finger over her swollen lips. He knew and she knew it wasn’t because she didn’t want him. His breath brushed by her cheeks as he licked her eyelids, closing them and then bent down swiftly to touch his tongue and lips to the hollow of her throat where this tongue flicked and caressed at the rapid pulse that beat as loudly as their hearts. He forged his way back up her neck to fill her ear with the heat of his breath.

“Don’t tell me to stop, I need you,” he whispered into her ear.

Laura’s eyes were closed, half in pain and half in desire.

“Stefan, there is no way-“

“Why?”

She looked at him, a little moisture clouding her eyes that honest to God sparkled brightly in the moonlight.

“You know why,” she said trying to sit up.

“No,” he whispered, holding her there. “I know you’ve been through surgery-“

“Oh it’s not that! I am not that weak and we made love several times on the island when Stavros did to me a good rehearsal of this.”

Stefan touched his lips to her forehead, his hands holding her face possessively in desperation and fear of her slipping away. Closing her eyes again she tried to fight him verbally but was at a loss. Running his lips along the side of her face she began to slip in that world she always did when he touched her but then remembered how many times in the last few weeks she had been in this place and how he always hated her again afterwards.

“Stefan stop-“

“No,” he said softly, taking her hand and kissing it. “I need you, I need to touch you…I need to touch you now. Please don’t leave me and don’t push me away.”

He began to kiss her neck and pull her more into his arms and a little more towards the ground.

“Are you seducing me because I can’t walk, I can’t push you away and leave,” she whispered.

“I doubt that,” he said nibbling at her neck. “You and I both know you could kill me right now with your hands if you wanted to.”

“Don’t tempt me,” she breathed. Again the reality caught up with her. “Stefan-“

He placed his finger instantly over her passion-swollen lips. Her eyes were mesmerized by him and she wanted everything he did, she wanted him to feel her, to breathe her in and to taste her. How could she not? But was it worth what would happen afterwards?

“I want you to stay,” he said, leaning down to kiss her upper lip and lightly take it between his teeth. “What do you want, Laura?” he said to her.

What do I want or what will I want later is the question.

“Say yes,” he commanded in a whisper, moving his lips towards her ear where he could hold her and smell her hair. “Say that you want me.”

Immediately pulling down the strap to Laura’s nightgown she had been wearing he possessively cupped her breast and bent down to engulf her nipple into his mouth and suckle on as much of it as he could devour.

Tilting her head back at the unexpected action and feeling she was receiving, she said, “Oh god…that is SO not fair.”

Surprised when he didn’t stop, but used his other hand to brush his fingers lightly against the taunt nipple, as his tongue followed the contoured of her other breast, still holding it firmly to access every curve, then lapping his tongue at the tightened flesh.

“Stefan, that’s not fair…please stop,” she said reaching for him.

But he was relentless and would not release his grip on her. And what’s worse was he increased the intensity and the passion causing her breaths to form into short gasps and moans and she leaned her head back, to weakened to fight. Stefan became much more demanding, lashing his tongue over her hardened tipped nipples and then engulfing as much of them as possible into his mouth and ruthlessly sucking. Laura knew now that she had to stop him. Reaching again for his face she pulled him towards her, and finally he allowed it. Her soaked breast was quickly chilled by the night air and he placed his hand over the tightened breast, protectively covering her nipple.

“I can’t believe you did that,” she said, amazed that he would have the nerve.

Encircling his hand more securely around her breast, she stiffened a little, her eyes questioning his goddamn certainty. Reaching for his hand to unlatch it from her breast, he took her hand, kissing the palm succulently and began to nibble and nip his way down her arm.

“Okay, all right, stop,” she whispered, pulling her hand away but was unsuccessful.

“Laura,” he said, his look at intense as fire.

Lifting her chin with his finger he forced her eyes to meet with his, and there he held her gaze, until he took her lips in a slower kiss, an exploration of her mouth, which dissolved most of her protests and control. Taking her hand he brought it to his chest. Touching his torso had always excited her and with his hand he traced hers down his torso and wrapped her hand around him. Cruelly nipping her bruised lips to break down any control at all, he kissed and nudged her face to the side so he could whisper into her ear.

“Please tell me you want me, Laura,” he said tracing the outline of her ear with his tongue.

Laura felt his erection in her hand and thought, yeah, he does want me…

With Laura’s mouth slightly open, he placed three fingers into her mouth just barely to hold it open. Lowered his lips in a quick teasing kiss, he nibbled at her upper lip, savoring her taste, memorizing the moment.

“Tell me Laura,” he said torturing her lips into more rounds of seduction.

She sighed, defeated, he saw the look in her eyes, how she could refuse him effectively with her words. And maybe she was weak, but she felt like she was melting as he looked at her so deeply, seeing and knowing every piece of her.

“Yes, I want you,” she said, then pulled back enough to look at him. Her eyes drowned with love. “I want you to want me, and I’d give anything for you to always look at me the way you are now,” she whispered, a tear slipping from her eye.

Pulling his mouth to hers, the kisses were out of control, energy consuming and they were robbed of air. Her hands held onto both sides of his face desperately as their lips suckled at each other’s. Gathering her in his arms, he peeled the nightgown further off of her. His lips burned as they traveled down her body causing her back to arch. Suckling her nipple harder and harder, he nibbled on it gently with his teeth, then nipped it.

“Stefan,” she whispered pulling his face to hers, kissing his lips fully.

Tilting her head back her naked neck was a creamy curve of delicious flesh that received his hot mouth and kisses. Her persistent hands roamed his torso, caressing his nipples and flicking her tongue to it, gripping his beautiful shoulders to hold him to her for better access. Encircling the back of her neck with one hand he pulled her back and brought her head back to meet his eyes.

“Yes, Stefan,” she said knowing he was asking. “Yes,” she said pulling him down over her.

Gently he made love to her, extremely cautious of her body that hadn’t fully healed. They were very slow, slower than they both wanted to be, tracing delicate kisses along each other’s bodies and openly feasted on each other’s mouths in a ravenous rhythm. Laura found his arm with her mouth and kissed and licked her way up to his shoulder where she lost sight for a few seconds from the feeling being so beautiful. Scraping her nails against his back she nibbled on his shoulder and stalked her way up to his neck, then to his lips as she murmured to him to make love to her harder since she couldn’t raise her hips. Thrusting harder and smoothly into her, she felt his hands cover her breasts and his fingers fondle her tightened tips in a pattern of torture.

As their mouths met again, swallowing each other’s cries of ecstasy as Laura’s body heaved beneath his. She wanted him to consume her in his arms and never let go. Stefan holding her a little off the ground she had her hands on his upper back, hands roaming and lips dueling with his. Feeling him tense inside her she tightened her walls to bring them both to their release, never stopping the kisses, if anything they grew more violent.

Lying back down, he whispered her name passionately between kissing her, raining them on her lips, face, neck and shoulders. She held him tightly against her, too dizzy to follow all his kisses until he finally stopped and just kissed her lips. The kiss turned delicate, and he brushed her damp hair from her face. His body felt so good over hers, she could’ve stayed like that forever.

“Are you in any pain?” he asked.

“No,” she said back, encircling him tighter to her.

His hand went to her stomach where the scars were and he lightly touched them, caressing them.

“You didn’t hurt at all during this?”

“No, no, I’m fine, my body’s fine, don’t worry,” she said reassuringly.

“Come upstairs with me,” he whispered to her.

He sat up and pulled her gently with him.

“Thank you, you have no idea how hard it is to sit up without your legs. It’s harder than when you’re pregnant.”

Realizing what she had said she felt a little saddened by it.

“I’m sorry,” she said to him.

“Don’t be, I’m sorry for what I said.”

Pulling the straps to her gown back up, she just wanted to escape her own past.

“I think…I should probably go back to my room,” she said softly, feeling the grief of all that had happened.

Taking her wrists and gently pulling her up to him, he supported her and she rested against him to help.

“Come with me, be with me tonight, let me take you upstairs once we get back inside.”

She felt weak, she couldn’t walk, she felt somehow less.

“I have dirt in my hair,” she said.

“I like you with dirt in your hair!” he said and she smiled.

He reached for her hair and felt his way through it, feeling the thickness of it. Realizing how good that felt, she said nothing but wanted him to continue. He placed a kiss on her lower lip, tempting her.

“Come with me,” he said shaking her a little with a smile.

“All right,” she said with a smile though she was unsure.

For the rest of that night though she was sure.

Chapter 7

Laura awoke in Stefan’s bedroom, naked beneath the wrinkled sheets. She had slept on her stomach, her hair sprawled out everywhere. She turned slowly to the sunlight which killed her eyes momentarily and then she saw Stefan. He had just finished getting dressed. He wouldn’t face her, he couldn’t. Then she’d know he was lying.

“Hi,” she said sitting up with a little difficulty and physically with her hands moving her legs to a more comfortable position.

“Morning, how do you feel?”

“Fine,” she said, hearing the strangeness in his voice. “What…what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’ve got to make a few phone calls-“

“Stefan,” she said.

As he began to talk she reached to the floor for the robe and sat back up on the back putting it on, and whatever it was he said he didn’t know because of distraction.

“What?” she said, not understanding a word he said.

He finally got his eyes settled again and the ability to speak. “I’m glad about last night, do you feel better?”

That sounds…strange. “Better? What does that mean?

“Why are you acting like that is such an odd question?”

“Why are you acting like it was for my benefit as pity?”

Stefan sighed and moved closer to her, sitting down on the bed in front of her. Her eyes looked at him with curiosity and confusion.

“It wasn’t pity, I don’t want you to see it that way,” he told her, caressing her face.

She read his eyes and knew that it was exactly pity.

“How could you?” she said in a deep voice. “How could you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Tell me you want me and make love to me and then have it just be for pity? I felt less degraded when you made love to me to hurt me! Now you just thought I needed a pity fuck?”

“Laura, don’t be vulgar-“

“Me!” Laura slapped his hand away from her. “I can’t believe you could do that. Why? Why did you feel it was your responsibility to have sex with me to make me feel better and just for the sake of argument we’ll say your assumptions were right. Why?”

“Because I caused it!”

“Ohhhhh, so, this is really about you fulfilling a debt. You sleep with me and then throw me away, degrading me in everyway possible but because your mother tried to kill me but instead killed our baby you thought sleeping with me and leaving was the answer?”

He turned away.

“No, Stefan, look at me,” she said and he did. “You enjoy playing God and playing with my head to make me think you love me or at the very least that you felt more than pity for me last night!”

Scaring her he grabbed her arms and held her in front of him.

“What did you think would happen? What were you hoping for, Laura? You’re ability for delusions are always present, tell me what you thought would happen?”

Furious tears poured down her face.

“I sure as hell never thought you would have sex with me for a debt, of course I suppose I have always been the weak little female and you thought it was your job to take care of me!”

“You are staying here,” he pointed out.

Yanking herself free of his grip she pulled the covers off of her, for his sake he thanked god it was a long shirt.

“I never wanted to be here! I didn’t ask for your help, you came to me and practically threatened me into allowing you to absolve your guilt by helping me! And I actually believed it was because you cared about me, not just because you supposedly hate hurting women and you wanted to make yourself not look so bad. I wanted to leave her before we made love last night but you tell me you need me? And today, with it being nothing more than you feeling sorry for me I’m supposed to feel flattered?”

“So you now know how it feels,” he said, standing up leaving.

She watched him leave with furious eyes. She ran out after him, catching him at the staircase. Laura was too enraged to notice Alexis was coming up the stairs, watching them. Alexis didn’t know Laura was doing so well to be screaming at him already. Life’s back to normal…

“How dare you! How many times are you going to use me and leave and then claim I did it to you! Even if you think I did, you use the fact that we just lost a baby to make me think you gave a damn? Is it fun for you to have this kind of revenge, to tell me how much you need me and then ask me if I feel better the next morning? What if I’d stopped, Stefan? Would you have found some other way to free yourself of guilt besides sleeping with me in hopes that tomorrow my pain would be gone! IS that how you’ve always seen me? Your brother’s piece of property that you get to have sex with? You must feel like such a man to bring sex to the unfuckable, someone temporarily paralyzed. You’ve always seen me as that little girl, a nineteen year old prisoner of your goddamn family and you think I’m still that way!

Laura calmed down, yet kept her fury obvious and passionate. She kept yelling, she had a lot more to say.

“You are the one who never told me the truth! I told you everything and you NEVER did the same. You see the bruises on me and you assume you have to rescue me from your psychotic brother who never in his life degraded me to this point! I knew he didn’t love me, I knew I was an obsession and a sickness, you, I believed you loved me. How STUPID can I be? It’s not like you haven’t done this before, oh my God, I never cease to even amaze myself at how twisted and bitter and SICK you are,” she said so serious no one could doubt it including him.

She was quivering with pain and fury.

“You manipulate my mind and you ALWAYS have! You saw me as a strong person? You are as twisted as your brother if you think that! We lost a baby and all you can think of is paying my medical bills and sleeping with me as a way to make the grief and regrets go away? You never changed your mind, you didn’t want to see me in the hospital because you didn’t want to deal with it! Well you don’t have to now! I hate you to the point of no return, I guess to where I pushed you. Brilliant, Stefan.”

“And you’re standing up,” he said to her.

A sharp pain shot up in Laura’s legs and she tried to reach for the railing as she fell to the ground like a ton of bricks.

“Oh my God,” she whispered in pain.

Stefan rushed over to her and she looked up at him with eyes that had death in them.

“Don’t you feel sorry for me now! Don’t you ever touch me and don’t you ever look at me because you have NEVER seen who I was! You ALWAYS saw me as the victim no matter who I was with!”

“Laura-“ he said.

“Don’t you put a hand on me, I’ll break your wrist,” she hissed.

Alexis came over to them. “Stefan,” she said to her brother. “Just go.”

“Alexis-“

“It’s fine, just go. Everything’s fine, go.”

Trusting Alexis, Stefan reluctantly left. Alexis kneeled to Laura. Placing her hand on Laura’s waist she helped her up.

“Come on, it’s okay,” Alexis said. “Hold onto me, Laura, it’s gonna be fine.”

As soon as she was standing up Laura could use her legs again and made a dash to the bathroom and threw up violently. Alexis went in after her, wetting a washcloth and dampening Laura’s face to keep her from passing out.

“I’ll call the hospital-“

“No!” Laura said, holding Alexis’s hand. “That’s not the reason I threw up.”

Alexis looked at her with sympathy. Unable suddenly to use her legs Laura reached for the sink and pulled herself up.

“Can you help me get out of here, I can’t stay here one second longer, and don’t tell Stefan anything!” she sobbed.

“Yes,” Alexis said, helping Laura back to the bed, and sitting her on it.

“I’ve gotta get out of here,” Laura said scrambling to put clothes on, though having it be harder than hell with the once again loss of her legs. “I’m not gonna look back and I’m not gonna feel like this and I’m going to get better and I am never going to see him again because he thinks he owes it to me and I-“

“Shhh,” Alexis said, stopping Laura and holding her.

“I believed it,” Laura sobbed against her. “I believed him, I am so stupid, I know I did terrible things to him but couldn’t he have at least used something else besides our baby’s death as a tool! And I know I am saying this to the wrong person, I’ll never ask anything of you if you just help me out of here, then I won’t hurt Stefan anymore so you’ll win too.”

Not knowing exactly what was going on, Alexis said nothing but rocked Laura soothingly.

“I’m sorry,” Laura cried. “It’s not your problem and all I ask is for you to take me to Bobbie’s.”

“Bobbie’s?”

“Yes, she’ll help me, I trust her.”

Wasn’t Bobbie Luke’s brother? Of course, Bobbie had been there with Laura throughout much of her life and had been there for Laura since Stefan and Laura almost made it in 1999.

“Laura-“

“I swear if you don’t get me out of here I will crawl and I will kill to get out of here!” she cried.

Reaching for Laura again Alexis held her. “I will! And I won’t tell Stefan where you’re going until you’re ready to see him again,” Alexis said to Laura.

“Don’t you ever tell him! I don’t want to see him again-“

“You feel that now-“

“He had sex with me on his doorstep and then left me there, tossing my dress at me telling me to cover myself,” Laura hissed with revulsion. “I don’t want to see his face and I don’t want to have ANYTHING to do with him other than Nikolas.”

This was no time to argue with Laura, and against her better judgment possibly, Alexis agreed with Laura, what the hell was Stefan doing?

“Okay, all right, let me help you. Laura, look at me,” Alexis said, cupping Laura’s pasty yellow face. “Everything’s all right, you are going to survive this along with everything else Helena has done to you, and don’t let Stefan stop you.”

Alexis got up and began packing Laura’s things. Laura finished dressing and then buried her face in her hands, sobbing silently then placed her head between her knees to stay conscious. Alexis turned to her and saw her trying not to retch. Racing over to her Alexis lifted Laura’s face, it was pale and sick looking. Laura’s eyes were dilated and her lips were white.

“Laura please, you’re making yourself sick, let it go for now, think about your little girl, the one you DO still have, and think of how she lights up when she sees you.”

“I feel like he wanted me to feel,” Laura said, barely able to say the words without gagging.

Quick decision Alexis. “You know what, forget the clothing, I’ll come back and get them, let me take you now.”

“Thank you,” Laura said.

The Brownstone

Forty Minutes Later

Alexis knocked on Bobbie’s front door impatiently, holding Laura, who had a little use of her legs, but not enough to stand on her own, course that might be from the fact she could pass out any second. Bobbie answered the door and turned to see Laura’s beautiful face and hair drenched in sweat.

“Oh my God, what happened?” Bobbie said reaching for Laura.

Bobbie opened her arms to Laura who fell into them, sobbing loudly.

“Bobbie, please help me, please Bobbie,” Laura said.

“Of course, my God you’re standing, come on. Walk with me,” Bobbie said.

Alexis followed. “Laura insisted that I bring you here, Bobbie. She and Stefan had a disagreement and Laura stood up and ran to him, collapsed to the floor after standing a few minutes and then she threw up.”

Having placed Laura on her couch, Bobbie began examining her a little.

“Oh God, Laura, that’s not good. If you are having nausea and throwing up it could be the medications or even worse-“

“I don’t think it’s the medications, Bobbie,” Alexis said.

“Stefan and I had a very large fight,” Laura said, her eyes closed as she breathed in and out trying to regulate her heart rate and blood pressure. “I threw up because of how awful the fight was, I was so upset with my actions and his. It’s not the medications and it has nothing to do with my accident.”

Bobbie went to the kitchen and began wetting a washcloth as Alexis had.

“All right, Laura, elevate your feet. Lie down flat on the couch and put your feet up on the edge.”

Laura lied down and with Alexis’s help she elevated her feet. Bobbie came back over, sat on the edge of the couch dampening Laura’s still pale face.

“Did he hurt you in any way, including emotionally?” Bobbie said.

Laura looked at Alexis, a little upset about degrading Stefan in front of her.

“Yes, we had a fight. We both said terrible things.”

Bobbie caught the discomfort and the source of it when she looked at Alexis. Alexis was concerned for Laura though, and waiting for answers also. Why?

“Alexis, thank you so much for bringing Laura here safely, it’s good you did when you did.”

“Laura, are you going to be all right,” Alexis said.

“I sure as hell will try,” Laura replied. “Thank you, I will never forget what you did for me. You are so strong, Alexis. Please don’t tell Stefan where I am though. And find a way to bring my things here if you would, and I don’t want Stefan paying for any of my medical bills.”

“Well, he has paid off so much and he has taken responsibility-“

“You’re a lawyer, tell me how I can fix that, I don’t need his money or his sympathy.”

Alexis nodded. “I’ll take care of it, I’ll see you soon.”

Alexis left the room and Bobbie wondered what was going on.

“Laura, how do you feel?”
“Like hell.”

“I don’t blame you. Tell me about using your legs the first time.”

“Stefan and I were arguing, he left the room, I wasn’t finished and I ran after him, yelling at him. I didn’t even realize I was standing until he told me. Then a pain shot up through my legs and I fell to the floor.”

Bobbie nodded. “That was probably too much too soon, you have to take small steps towards this, but now that you have walked, it should be much easier. But running out of a room to chase him was too much too fast. Though apparently you were ready, your motor sensory nerves are now up and running. So, you walked, you’ve thrown up, you’ve had a hell of a lot of pressure on you, you’ve screamed your head off at Stefan, anything else you’ve done that you shouldn’t have while this weak?”

Laura turned her head to the side, she didn’t want to answer.

“Laura, please tell me, what did you do? I need all the facts so I can help you, please trust me.”

Laura’s blue eyes met Bobbie’s brown ones.

“I had sex.”

“Oh! Wow, really,” Bobbie said, taken off guard. “With Stefan?”
Laura made an exasperated noise. “No, with Damian Smith, who do you think?”

“Ugh, don’t mention sex and Damian Smith. Is that what you fought about?”

Laura tried not to cry. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she said in a tiny voice.

That hurt Bobbie surprisingly, she wanted for some reason for Laura to trust her.

“Laura, I can’t ever say that I will forget the past, I will always be jealous of you, but I love you. You are family, you are so much more than what I thought twenty years ago, you are the one who is strong. And I am here for you, if you do want to talk about it. I realize I’ve said terrible things to you, especially regarding Stefan, but I love you for you, and I hope you know that now.”

“Thank you,” Laura said.

Bobbie realized Laura wasn’t going to talk.

“All right, let me take you to the hospital to have you checked out, actually, on second thought let me just have Monica come over.”

“All right,” Laura said, suddenly very fatigued.

“Stefan?” Alexis said.

Stefan turned around to face her, he looked awful.

“Is Laura all right?”

“She will be,” Alexis said. “What the hell happened?”

“Laura misunderstood my intentions.”

“Did she?” Alexis challenged. “Or, are you sure that’s not exactly how you meant her to take it, you just never expected it to go that far? You didn’t expect her to be so upset she’d hurt herself, you just wanted to use her like she used you?”

“Please, Alexis, not now.”

She grabbed his arm as he made his way to the door.

“Really? Then when would be a good time, Stefan? What the hell are you doing? To yourself! How many times have you slept with her and left her and for what? I am not about to admit what I thought Laura did or how she behaved was anything to admire but…this?”

“She almost had me, and I had to push her away,” he said like a child.

Alexis’s brown eyes enhanced with understanding, but that was still no excuse. That was probably what pushed Laura away too, she was too afraid to love him and when it was almost to the point of no return, she ran. “Oh, so to protect yourself you hurt her as much as you possibly could to push her away. Why?”

“You of all people have to ask?”

He walked out of the room.

“Stefan Cassadine, don’t you dare walk away from me! I’m not saying until recently I particularly like Laura, but no one deserves what you did to her today. Not even her.”

“I confess I may have overdone it-“

“Overdone it? You both lost a child, she was in a boat that exploded, nearly killing her, and you would hurt her at this particular time? That’s low even for Helena,” Alexis said, half disgusted by her brother’s actions.

“I could’ve so easily loved her again!”

God these two are impossible! “You do love her! And you haven’t seen the way she talks about you, she loves you, and she was willing to fight for you and apparently she did, but there’s only so much a person can take of being tossed aside like a common slut, which is exactly what Stavros made her feel like. And you know something, I am on her side! I saw how much you hurt her, I saw the pain in her, she threw up she was so upset-“

“That can’t be good for her!”

“No, it wasn’t. I love you so much, why are you doing this to yourself? Forget about Laura, what about you? Do you feel good now? Having hurt her? Or did you just get too close and once you’d gone past the line of no return you twisted the truth? I never understood Laura, but I think I’m starting to now. This is a game you both play, and for what? What were you doing to her that first year you came back into her life? Setting her up? I know she faked her death, which was beyond low but I’m not thrilled you did it either. But other than that, what happened between you two that first year, before she went to Switzerland?”

“Where is she?” Stefan asked.

“I’m not telling, she told me not to tell you but even if she hadn’t I’m not sure I would have. You were the one who invited her to stay here and then you seduce her and claim it was pity? If she came to you and she hadn’t just nearly died because of your mother, then I could have some sympathy for your actions, but not like this Stefan.”

Stefan grabbed Alexis harshly.

“Tell me she’s all right! Tell me I didn’t hurt her! Dammit if you won’t tell me where she is tell me she’s all right!”

“She’s fine! But I am here to take back the expenses of Laura’s medical bills, she doesn’t want you paying for her, she wants no part of you supporting her. Return the money and she will take care of it herself.”

Stefan sighed and let Alexis go. “That is completely unnecessary-“

“That is NOT for you to decide! And if you don’t give her back her right to take care of herself, I will drag you through years of lawsuit hell! And don’t test me, Stefan. I love you, but I am far from proud of your actions!”

Alexis left the room.

Chapter 8

The Brownstone

Following Day

Stefan knocked on the door impatiently. Finally, Barbara slowly opened it, crossed her arms and looked at him with hatred.

“Barbara, thank God, she here?”

Barbara looked fabulous, hair down and soft, slightly lighter than the last time he’d seen her, with a snug but not overly sexual outfit on. Of course it wouldn’t take long for Stefan to guess Laura was here. And why the hell should Bobbie lie, was she afraid of Stefan and what he might do should he find out?

“Yes,” she answered.

“Oh, great,” Stefan said stepping up but Barbara didn’t move.

“Excuse me, that does not mean you are allowed in my house to see her.”

“Don’t play games Barbara-“

“Like you? Yesterday Alexis brings Laura to my house because she was so upset she couldn’t stand to be in Wyndemere a second longer and she had to leave her wheelchair because she was too ashamed to use it? Saying she hates having everyone in her life see her as a victim? And then Laura makes me swear not to tell anyone where she was? What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I need to talk to her-“

“I don’t give a damn what you need, Stefan. You wanna hurt her, don’t you?”

Stefan said nothing.

“Come on, say it! Admit that whatever it is you’re doing to her is because you want to hurt her to keep her from getting into your system! Make her hurt, right? MAKE HER HURT LIKE YOU HURT?!?”

That had been true, but now he had to make it right.

“Barbara, whatever Laura told you-“

“She didn’t tell me anything! She won’t. But I see the pain and degradation in her eyes. And I am not about to let you of all people see her. She made me swear not to expose she was staying her and however you found out I don’t care, but swearing me to secrecy to not equal letting you see her.”

“You don’t understand-“

“Then make me, Stefan. Why don’t you explain to me why she showed up here with your sister, who brought her from your island and she stays in her room and will only talk to me about vague subjects and won’t let me even tell Nikolas she’s here! And last I checked Alexis and Laura weren’t the best of friends and Alexis was the one concerned about Laura, wondering if Laura would be all right! Laura was retching and passing out, her blood pressure was haywire and she had to go to the hospital to have some tests done. Why? Why did all that happen, Stefan? There was NOTHING wrong with Laura except she was too weak to deal with whatever the hell it is you did to her. So why don’t you fill me in?”

“God, I have to talk to her-“ he said moving towards her.

Bobbie didn’t move, and grew more irritated by the second. “You take one more step and I will show you what a street hooker can really do when someone oversteps their boundaries,” she said, pushing him softly back from the doorstep.

“Is she all right?”

“No. She’s not, but she will be. You like playing games, Stefan, you always did. That’s one thing you pride yourself on as being better than commoners like the Spencers. You never physically hurt but you sure as hell give an equal amount of pain. How do you think I felt knowing you knew Carly was MY daughter, you didn’t tell me, you set me up to find my daughter in bed with my husband, but kept the information in check just in case you might need it to hurt me further?”

“Aside from your brother who is perfect as usual?”

“Why do you do that? Forget about Luke! Why don’t you ever allow anything to be your fault? Why are your betrayals NEVER as bad as anyone else’s? Luke was my brother but you were my husband! Granted you never loved me but you kept that piece of information for your own purposes and you want to know how I justify Luke a little bit more than I justify you?”

“Why?” Stefan said.

“Because he did it because he loves me. He was at least in his own mind trying to protect me, and maybe in a way he did, God knows how I would’ve reacted if he’d told me the night he found out. But he was wrong! He screwed up, and it WAS unforgivable, but at least he was in pain when he told me, he CARED! You…you looked at me like I was nonexistent. And this was my child! What if I’d done that with Nikolas? How the hell would you feel? Though I might’ve been your enemy when you admitted to me you knew, you didn’t think while we were married it would hurt me AT ALL to know that you knew my daughter was Carly and yet it didn’t CONVENIENCE you to tell me so you kept it in check for later? At least my brother did it because he thought he was protecting me. And pardon me, but weren’t you the one who neglected to tell Laura Nikolas had been shot and lost his ability to speak? Who was the one who didn’t bother to bring Nikolas to Laura when he was six, which I believe was the year you started drugging Helena so she was less of a threat? You used Laura’s child against her just like you used mine!”

“Barbara-“

“Why are you always free of your betrayals because someone else may have done the same thing? No one is ever asking you to not hate my brother, but if you betray someone but Luke does too, then you’re fine? You could never be as low as commoners like me, Luke, or Laura? Oh, forgive me, Laura was different, she was a princess. But not good enough to put up with your crap now was she? She fought back! But now she won’t and I don’t know why, and I can’t help her. Why is she quiet, and not willing to tell me whatever the hell it is you did to her except that you didn’t lay a hand on her in any way?”

“Maybe she just doesn’t confide in you,” he replied tersely.

Bobbie smiled. “Then why did she come here first?” Fuck you, Stefan, Laura does trust me. “Look, I don’t really need to know all the details, you’ll probably sugarcoat them somehow but Laura will tell me when she wants to. And if you want to continue to make her suffer, make her pay for hurting you, you go right ahead.”

Stefan shook his head.

Bobbie’s eyes narrowed hatefully. “But at least have the balls and the decency to wait until she can stand,” she hissed. “Hurt her when she’s down, now I know how truly above all of us peasants you are. But…at least you didn’t SHOOT Laura like you shot Katherine Bell.”

Bobbie slammed the door in his face. Bobbie walked back into the living room, her face showing she was seriously pissed!

“Was that him,” Laura asked, sitting on the couch.

“The one and only!”

“What did he say?”

“That he had to see you, I told him to go to hell.”

Laura smiled a little. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” Bobbie said plopping down on the sofa, furious.

“I guess I should…probably tell you now.”

“Hey, only if you want to,” Bobbie assured Laura.

“I do. I loved Stefan, and I wanted him back. I fought through his hateful words and refused to let him push me aside. I stood strong and let him say anything he wanted. In our rage he grabbed me and kissed me, and began making love to me. Then he told me I was so easily a whore and that Luke must not be doing his job, and that of course I only get turned on by rapists.”

Bobbie shook her head. “Always goes to Luke, doesn’t he? Because we all know he wasn’t talking about Stavros.”

“Oh yes. So of course I stopped and left. For some reason Nikolas a few days later wanted me to meet him at Wyndemere, and before you ask yes it was Nikolas and not Stefan, Nikolas just conveniently forgot to show up himself. I was trying very hard not to see Stefan and just leave but Stefan was taking a walk and caught me. We slept together right outside, right there and it was much more of a possessive competitive thing than anywhere near reaching a new place. I wasn’t quite realizing that until he tossed my dress and at me and told me to cover myself.”

Bobbie’s mouth dropped open. “What?!?”

“And then a week or so later I found out I was pregnant. Still not willing to give up on him I went to him, but I also didn’t want to bind him to me. But it was the right thing to let him know, so I went to Spoon Island and he met me at the docks. We argued and I pleaded with him to listen to me and believe how much I loved him but he wouldn’t believe it. I couldn’t get a word in and when I realized how much he hated me, I asked him if it felt good that he’d finally gotten his revenge. I told him I loved him but he would not break me, and he forced me onto the launch.”
“When it…exploded.”

“Yes. Now that wasn’t his fault but when I miscarried I still wanted to tell him about the baby. And finally he showed up.”

“And I opened my BIG mouth!”

Laura smiled. “It’s okay. Anyway, he was furious of course. He later realized how cold he had been over that, and wanted to help me. I didn’t want to be a charity or a way for him to relieve himself of his guilt, but because it was our baby we’d lost, I foolishly agreed to go with him. And several nights after I’d been there he made me believe he wanted me, that he loved me, and I swear to you now if the next day hadn’t happened, I would still believe that.”

“He was gentle though, because of your recovering body?”

“Oh yes, very gentle, but more than that, or so I thought. The next morning he pretty much told me it was only for pity, he had wanted to help me, to make me feel better! When I exploded at him for thinking I was so pathetic that he would do that, he thought I was insane and unreasonable and didn’t understand why. Well maybe he should’ve THOUGHT OF THAT before he penetrated me!”

Bobbie’s mouth made an O.

“I’m sorry, that was rude,” Laura said. “So I ran after him, no where near through yelling at him, and like I told you I had no idea I was standing until he told me. Then I fell to the ground. He tried to help me and I lashed out at him. Alexis was there, and she helped me. I had to get out, I was so angry I was retching and making myself sick and faint.” Laura paused. “So now you know.”

Bobbie came over to Laura and pulled her into her arms.

“Aw honey, God I’m sorry.”

Silent tears slipped from Laura’s eyes. “Thank you, Bobbie,” she whispered.
Bobbie rubbed her sister in law’s back. “Hey, let’s crack out the chips and dip and watch dirty movies!”

Laura laughed. “All right.”

Two hours later they sat, filling themselves with wine and cheese and crackers, as well as chocolate fudge ice cream.

“Oh, man…I like sex as much as the next girl but I could’ve lived my whole life without seeing that!” Laura laughed.

Bobbie watched, disgusted herself.

“Yes, I can honestly say I never did that in my entire career.”

Laura burst out laughing. “I’d kill for another glass of wine.”

“Why don’t you go help yourself,” Bobbie said softly, yet casually.

Laura looked at her. “Really?”

Bobbie smiled. “Yeah, get up, do your thing and show Helena you’re tougher than she knows.”

Laura took a deep breath and rose. Standing still for a few seconds to make sure she wouldn’t fall, she began walking slowly, more from fear than from pain or weakness. She wasn’t paralyzed, she could do it. And by the time she came back to the couch she was walking quite well.
“Thank you Bobbie,” she breathed.

“I didn’t do anything, Laura, you did. Now, we’re getting to another good scene in this so hush!”

Chapter 9

Lesley Lu and Lesley Webber came by to see Laura the next day. Laura hadn’t wanted Lesley Lu to see her in pain and unable to walk. But she still talked to her at least three times a day on the phone. Now she held Lesley Lu in her arms and played with her.

“Thank you, Mom.”

“You’re welcome, I love your baby almost as much as you!”

Laura smiled.

“You’re all better, Mom?”

“Am I better, let’s see, give me a kiss,” Laura told her daughter.

Lulu kissed her.

“Hmmm, I think I can stand it if you give me another one.”

Lulu kissed Laura again.

“Ooh, now I’m healed.”

The doorbell rang.

“Come on in!” Bobbie shouted.

“Barbara Jean?”

“Luke? Get in here!” Bobbie shouted.

Luke popped his head in and Lulu jumped in his arms.

“Hello Princess,” he said lifting her up.

“Daddy, Mom’s better!”

Laura smiled at Luke and stood up to hug him.

“I knew you wouldn’t be down for long, Angel.”

“Thank you for the confidence,” she said hugging him back.

Laura wondered why he wasn’t curious why she wasn’t with Stefan at Wyndemere. Bobbie probably told Luke to leave that issue alone.

“How’s Holly,” Laura asked quickly.

“I don’t know, why don’t you ask her yourself?”

Luke stepped aside and Holly came through the door. Laura’s mouth dropped open.

“Oh my God!” she said running to Holly and hugging her. “Holly!”

“Hi Laura, I’ve missed you so much. I made a deal with Luke that if I was released from the hospital first I would come back here and see you. You look fabulous.”

“Oh please, compared to you I always looked like a twelve year old geek.”

“Well, do I get a hug,” Bobbie said.

Holly hugged Bobbie.

“Luke, she’s gorgeous, I hate her!” Laura said smiling.

Luke took Laura’s hand. “There’s more.”

Nikolas, Lucky, and Elizabeth came through with balloons and a cake. Laura burst out laughing.

“Hi,” she said, hugging each of them, kissing them maternally. “I love you all so much.”

Laura wished Stefan wasn’t at such odds with her, but…she had to let it go. He would never forgive. So move on. She sat down with all of her children, her sister in law, ex-husband, mother, and friend. Lulu sat on Holly’s lap as Laura cut the cake for everyone.

“Thank God you brought a cake, I can’t cook at all!” Laura exclaimed, handing a piece to Luke.

“No, but you cooked pies at the Triple LLL Diner pretty well,” he said.

“Thank you so much,” she said a little sarcastically with a smile.

“How are you feeling?” Elizabeth said.

“Fine, much better. All healed, I can walk, I am going to be driving you all crazy again just any second now.”

Laura hadn’t told Nikolas in so many words that she had miscarried Stefan and hers child, but she could tell he knew, and that he was dying to ask about them. Luke took Lulu off of Holly’s lap and into his. It was a great party.

“Nikolas,” Laura said to her eldest son. “I wanna talk to you,” she said cheerfully. “Can you be the prince and help your crazy mother up?”

Nikolas jumped to the task and was so cute about it.

“I love you,” she whispered as they walked into the next room. Once there, Laura asked. “What do you know? I will tell you anything you don’t if you’re curious.”

“Was there…this is none of my business but was there a baby? Did you lose it?”

“Yes,” Laura said. “In the explosion Helena created I lost my baby. Stefan’s and mine.”

“My uncle forced you onto it?”

“First of all, he had no idea the launch would be a death sentence, or that I was pregnant. And he offered to take care of me afterwards.”

“Are you…in love with him?”

“That’s a difficult question to answer, I guess it always has been, but never like this. I was very desperately in love with him up until we had an argument and I left Wyndemere. I’m afraid neither of us may never get passed the past. And that’s all right, but we do need to keep breathing, not holding our breath waiting for the past to come save us.”

“Did he love you?”

Laura smiled sadly. “I don’t know, but I don’t blame him for anything,” she lied to keep Nikolas from feeling bad for either of his parents. “And we’ll be fine, don’t you worry,” she said hugging him. “Now, I would like to get back to my party and I would like my favorite person to guide me.”

“I love you,” he said and led her back.

Chapter 10

Laura was gone and Stefan knew someone had to know where she was. If Luke knew, he wasn’t with her and he sure as hell wouldn’t tell him, especially if Laura asked him not to. Which Stefan was pretty sure she did. So he decided to ask someone who would give him a hard time but much actually answer.

Walking into Kelly’s he saw her. Behind the counter, taking an order. A smile on her face, her hair red and beautiful, she was beautiful. Even if she was a Spencer. He had wished he could have loved her, it would’ve made his life so much easier. And he had…loved her, he had cared about her, just not in the way she wanted.

Walking over to her in his full-length black coat, she looked up and was shocked to see him.

“Barbara.”

“Stefan…hi. What brings you to this commoner restaurant.”

“Certainly not your chili,” he replied, almost getting a smile out of her. “Would you take a break with me and walk with me?”

“Walk with you where?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“O…kay,” she said, asking Elizabeth to take over for a few minutes.

They walked to the docks, Bobbie waited for Stefan to say something but he was silent. Once they reached the docks, she decided to speak first since he wasn’t.

“Well, we’ve walk a bit, you wanna tell me what’s up?”

“I think you know what my question is.”

“And I think you know what my answer is,” she replied. “I appreciate that you were pleasant about it, not barging in assuming I should tell you anything, but it doesn’t change the fact that I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Both.”

“When will she be returning?”

“I don’t know.”

“She has every right to be angry-“

“Yeah I think…maybe I’ll agree with you,” Bobbie said half teasing.

“But I would like to see her. Barbara you know her, you know if she wants me gone, she is perfectly able to throw me out herself, if you would give me the chance to give her that chance.”

“Do you love her?” Bobbie asked.

“Do you have to ask?”

“No, actually you’re right, the question is actually do you forgive her?”

“I might ask you the same question.”

Bobbie rolled her eyes and smiled a little. “Yes, I have gotten past my hatred for her, I love her. You know that. I can dislike her at times but I love her. And just like Alexis doesn’t want her hurting you, I don’t want you hurting her.”

“I’m surprised you’ll support her with anyone other than your brother.”

“I love her, Stefan, I don’t just tolerate her anymore. What about you?”

“I need to ask her to forgive me this time.”

“Stefan, I think you know she will. That’s one thing that droves me up the wall about her, she’s so forgiving and much less selfish than I was. The point is, once she forgives you, then what?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

“Well if you don’t know, just send her a postcard asking her forgiveness. One question isn’t enough to go see her.”

“I have a question for you, do you forgive me?”

She didn’t answer right away. “Sometimes,” she said. “And I’m not going to tell you where she is, because you can easily find her by yourself. And you know that.”

Bobbie began to walk away.

“Barbara, at least give me a place to start? Is she in North Carolina?”

“No.”

“Then where is she?”

“Not in this continent,” she replied.

“Barbara…happy anniversary.”

She turned around then. “I’m surprised you remember that. Happy Anniversary. I hope the next time you get married it’s for love. It may be stupid but at least while it lasts it’s good. And even though we didn’t have a real marriage, you kept me from crumbling.”

“No I didn’t. You did that yourself. You just let me hold you, and I don’t regret that.”

She smiled and walked towards him. She took his hands and looked into his eyes.

“Thank you.”

He leaned in and kissed her once, softly. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

“Oh I can’t wait,” she teased.

XxX

A Month Later

London, England

Laura walked back into the hotel suite, tossed her purse to the bed and went to the fridge to get out a small bottle of vodka. She tore off the label and popped off the top to take a swig. As she turned around and saw Stefan sitting in the chair, she jumped and choked on what she was drinking.

“Dammit,” she said, wiping her mouth. “Do you somehow just enjoy showing up out of the blue and scaring the hell out of me?”

“I can think of worse things in life, you do react beautifully.”

“Uh huh, I’m glad I’m such an entertainment to you when you scare the hell out of me or manipulate me, I always was though.”

“Why are you here with Richard Difliapo?”

Oh God, how long had he been watching her? What had he scene? Didn’t matter! How dare he even ask?!? She couldn’t believe his nerve. “That’s none of your business, what do you want?”

“You.”

“Really?” she said disbelieving.

“And you’re not to see the gentlemen again you were with earlier.”

Laura made an exasperated noise. “Dear God you never change. How long have you been watching me?”

“Long enough-“

“Don’t double talk me! Did you follow me or track me down? And get the hell off my chair!”

He smiled at her anger.

“And don’t laugh at me!”

She took another drink of the vodka.

“You really should handle your problems differently than drinking,” Stefan said.

“Do I remind you of Luke, honey? Does that bother you? Honest to God I drank a hell of a lot more than he did most of the time. And speaking of handling problems I should get some advice from you on it! Like following people and handling their lives for them with threats and manipulations and secrets? That takes far too much energy and it wastes time. Get out.”

“It would not be a good idea to leave you alone with that man.”

“You are missing the point, I can walk now, I can do what I want with whomever I want, and since you have done nothing but tell me what to do since the minute you broke into my room, there’s the door. You found your way in, you can find your way out.”

She started towards the bathroom but he grabbed her arm.

“Stefan,” she said with warning. “I have had a very long and I am tired. I am not up to hear how wrong I am or much more you know about everything than I do. When I get out of that shower, you’d better be gone!”

Taking her other arm in his hand he turned her to face him.

“Well, then you have just solved both our problems because I’m not leaving and you are not going to hide at the moment.”

Laura was extremely tired and really not up for this. “What the hell gives you the right, Stefan? You watched every step I made for sixteen years, and you never stopped, did you? Am I a fun pawn you can use whenever you want? You know, just watch everything I do so you can control me later? You break into my room to lecture me?”

“I did not break into your room.”

“Oh of course, Stefan Cassadine wouldn’t go as low as a commoner like me who would physically break into a room. Who did you pay and what did you do? And whatever it was, it’s still breaking in. This is my private hotel room and you are here uninvited and unwanted.”

“It wasn’t private last night, was it?”

Laura’s eyes became slits. “Go to hell,” she said softly.

As she tried to move he held her arms firmly.

“Stefan, go away!”

“And when has that ever worked?”

Laura’s eyes were swimming she was so tired.

“All right, you win, talk, quickly please.”

“Why are you here throwing yourself at some stranger?”

“In your mind I throw myself at everyone so why should he be any different?”

She tried to pull her arm free but he wouldn’t let go.

“Stefan, what are you doing? I’m fine, you don’t have to feel guilty anymore because it wasn’t your fault in the first place, all right? You don’t even want me-“

“Oh I want you,” he said.

Laura bit her lip and tried to remain calm.

“For what?” she asked. “You got your revenge, you knew I loved you but you wouldn’t forgive me and you tried to break me. You succeeded in part. I will never lie down for anyone again, I didn’t for your brother, and I sure as hell won’t for you, even if I love you. And for the first time I am surrendering to you being right. You were right. So let go of my arms and go.”

He gathered her towards him a little.

“Stop it,” she said softly.

He pulled her closer, cupping her face in his hands but she kept her eyes closed. She tried to breathe evenly as his thumbs caressed her face. Frustration was on her face but he knew there was more than that.

“Laura, did it ever occur to you what happened when the launch exploded in front of me?”

Laura’s eyes flew open. “Yes, I do! It reminded you of when I kissed you and went into that building and blew to pieces in your face then. I am completely aware of that, and you felt guilty because it was Helena-“

“No, I felt guilty because I made you get on the launch-“

“So what? Maybe I deserved it, but I jumped off the boat didn’t I, and I’m alive and fine much to Helena’s disappointment.”

“That’s not what I was thinking. I was regretting that I pushed you away and that I could’ve easily been the one to have to live with that, not being responsible for your death but being so careless that I would be the one to never see you again because I lost my temper.”

“How the hell were you supposed to know? I absolve you of everything, okay?”

“I killed our child,” he said.

“No you didn’t. You didn’t know there was a child, that wasn’t your fault at all. I was carrying the baby, it was my responsibility. And how were you to know the launch would explode?”

“Still,” he said painfully. “If…if I hadn’t said what I’d said to you and done what I had, you would not have gotten on to that boat-“

“Stefan, please stop it. I know how much it hurts you to have lost a child, and feel you’re responsible. That is how I felt with Nikolas. But I know now that it wasn’t my fault, not completely anyway. There were a hundred different ways I might’ve handled Helena which could’ve made the situation different but I can’t go back to it and change it now. And you didn’t even know there was a baby let alone that my life alone could be endangered.”

“I could’ve paralyzed you.”

“You didn’t! I am fine. Please let me go, Stefan. I am sorry you feel guilty, I am sorry I didn’t tell you about the baby immediately but I was not about to bind you to me by using our child. I would’ve been Katherine.”

He was so furious she would think that he shook her, bruising her arms as he tightened his hands around like iron bands. Laura looked at him and tried not to moan in pain, managing to only exude a sharp gasp.

“Don’t you ever say that! You are not Katherine! And you would not have been bringing me into anything.”

“Yes I would! You’re only saying all this because of what happened. If this hadn’t happened you’d still be furious with me and now it’s just your guilt. Please don’t feel guilty, I am sorry that I didn’t tell you about the baby, I swear I would have, I just would’ve done it in a way that didn’t make you so damn trapped. I couldn’t live with myself if I had never told you and I wanted to tell you, but when you didn’t want to look at me let alone have a baby with me I had to find another way.”

“You mean you thought of aborting it?”

“No! That’s what I am saying, I wanted that baby and I knew like hell you wanted it too. And I was being stupid just like I always have been. You know, I abandon Nikolas, I abandon you, I break my word, you come back into my life and we are battling each other and you hold all the cards, I do something STUPID that makes you see me the way Helena did, and even when I came back and I fell in love with you again, I still made every mistake known to man!”

She whimpered a little in emotional pain, swallowing her sobs as best she could. Then she opened her eyes and demanded Stefan to tell her.

“So what should I do now, burn myself at the stake? What? What should I do to appease myself of all my sins? When would it be enough? Just let it go, please. This is just you and your regrets, but none of this was your fault. And the pain will ease, it won’t ever go away, but it will ease. I promise you that. It won’t hurt so bad anymore. You let this go, that’s what you have to do. And I have to stop trying to make things happen the way I want them to when there is no way they will.”

Trying to move from his arms again he held her face again.

“Stop trying to run, you are running. Did it EVER occur to you that I finally realized what I could lose when I saw you in the hospital?”

Fury rose in her. “You didn’t want to see me! You only came because of your guilt! You didn’t believe in me and I’m not saying I blame you but I tried for two days to reach you and finally you show up just in time to hear one more lie I told you!”

Laura closed her eyes, ashamed. He pulled her closer into his arms and tilted her head back so she looked at him.

“Don’t hold me like this,” she said fidgeting a little.

“Stop being so damned stubborn because I’m not letting you go and you can struggle all you want but this is just the way it is.”

Defeated, she closed her eyes so she wouldn’t have to look at him, it hurt too much.

“You were right,” he said softly.

She immediately shook her head. “No,” she said. “No I wasn’t.”

“Yes. Yes you were. I fought you because I still loved you, I still wanted you. I always did. And I still do.”

“Want me for what?” she whispered in tears. “Want me to hurt me, want me for soothing you by feeling everything you want me to when you touch me to know you can? And then leave me lying there while not only making me feel cheap and dirty but making it my fault? I’m not doing that again. Never, all right?”

“I’m not asking you to! I don’t want to hurt you, I want to do the opposite.”

“Of course you do, because I can’t do it myself, right? You think I’m-“

“Stop it,” he whispered, squeezing her tighter against his body. “You know that’s not true, logic may tell you otherwise but you know. Don’t make my mistake and push me away, Lasha.”

“No,” she said again, her eyes still clenched shut and wishing he wouldn’t hold her like this. “You were right. I screwed up, so many times that you deserve someone else, someone who knows what the hell she’s doing once in awhile.”

“Maybe I don’t want someone like that, I want you.”

She breathed, trying not to cry.

“Laura, open your eyes,” he commanded. She didn’t. “Open them!”

The urgency in his voice made her give in. She opened them and met his. It took everything inside her not to cry or let a tear fall. One of his hands moved from her face to her back. He moved her closer, keeping her eyes with his.

“Kiss me, Laura…kiss me,” he said, his voice just above a whisper as he enclosed his lips over hers.

She closed her eyes slowly after his lips contacting hers, and she sobbed in pain when she felt him holding her and needing her. Reaching around her, locking her in a close embrace, she gave in and softened her lips, opening her mouth and letting him tease her. She wrapped her arms around him weakly, throwing her head back as he held her lower lip in his teeth and did terrible things to it. Raising his hands from her back to her head, he held it close to suckle her lips. He felt her tears against him and pulled back slowly, looking at her.

Wiping her black tears from her creamy skin, she licked her lips and held her eyes closed again, trembling a little with her pain.

“Look at me,” he said. “Laura, look at me.”

As she opened her eyes her mouth betrayed her and she began to sob silently.

“Why are you crying? I don’t want to see anymore of your black tears,” he said wiping them. “I forgive everything, but the question is, do you forgive yourself?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t even know which part I’m supposed to forgive. It’s all a package, it’s all compressed inside me. But I know it’s not all my fault, somehow that doesn’t free me of the pain.”

“Then tell me how, and I’ll do it.”

“It’s not your job, it never was. I let you before, I’m not going to let you now. My pain is not a debt you need to fix to feel free of your own regrets.”

He placed another kiss on her, enveloping her top lip and holding it lightly in his, feeling her shake from tears and he slipped his tongue into her mouth enticing her tongue to join his in an erotic competition leaving them both weak to a point she had to pull her mouth away a little. Not pulling away from his lips completely, she sighed as his mouth held her lower one before running his tongue over the smoothness of them, opening her mouth just a little to draw her closer and once again access her inner recesses. Turning the kiss to being more gentle than passionate, he released her mouth from his.

“Say that you love me,” he told her.

Closing her eyes two tears slipped that he caught and brushed away.

“Say it Laura, tell me!”

“Okay! All right, I love you,” she whispered, then opened her eyes. “I always have,” she said crying.

He held her, she rested her chin on his shoulder, her hands holding his shoulder tight enough to draw blood with her fingernails should he not have a shirt on. Remaining that way for a matter of several long minutes, she realized that Richard was expecting her. She pulled free suddenly.

“Oh God, Richard is expecting me and I have to go-“

“To hell with Richard!” he said. “I need you right here, right now,” he said to her. “Don’t go anywhere, don’t leave,” he pleaded softly.

She was mesmerized by his words. She couldn’t go anywhere if she had wanted to.

“I’m right here,” she whispered to him. “The question is, are you going to get up and leave as soon as you’re through with me?”

“Do you think I would?”

“You’re a little unpredictable, Stefan. Please don’t hate me anymore, please know I won’t take it anymore. I have a place of no return and you can push me there as I pushed you, but please don’t. Please…just love me. Tell me you love me back.”

Quickly catching her lips in his the kiss was fast and luscious and eternal. Whispering I love you against her lips she felt her legs weaken beneath her as she clung to him tenaciously to never let this go. Kissing him back with every strength inside her, she began to unbutton his shirt, then became too frustrated and ripped it off. Slipping her vest off her shoulders she felt a spark course through her as his hands unbuttoned so near to her breasts. Reaching her shirt she raised her arms up over her head as he lifted it off. With her face flushed with passion and her eyes hazy like the desert she wrapped her arms sexually around him. The friction between them increased and her black bra smooth and very flattering to her cleavage was becoming very irritating. Her golden hair was clenched in his hands as he moved to place light kisses on the line of her neck.

“Stefan,” she said needing his mouth he obeyed, using this to make up for the time apart.

Pulling her to the floor beside him, he lied her down beneath him as he plundered into the inner depths of her mouth. Her arms holding his gorgeous back, she felt the floor against her back, and held him over her. Reaching down, his hand trailed to her stomach where he paused, thinking about the baby momentarily, then moved lower, slipping his hand down her black slacks, slipping his hand beneath her underwear.

“Please,” she whispered to him, her need becoming more important than her judgment or patience.

Pulling his hand back to unbutton and unzip her pants, he rid that barrier.

“Look at me,” she said and he did. She caressed his face and smiled. “I love you. And I need you now, I can’t wait any longer.”

Sitting up she unfastened his pants as quickly as she could, and he practically tore her bra off before they reached the floor again. Her breasts swelled with desire and tightened more as they were crushed against the muscles of his torso, pleading to be touched. His hands moved over the silky skin, teasing her into insanity. Laura raised her head to his torso and traced his muscles with her lips and tongue. Grasping him in her hand she stroked him dominatingly as she flicked her tongue at his nipple, swirling her tongue around his nipple like an ice cream cone. Moving her lips to his medallion, she moved it out of the way with her teeth, continuing the journey along his chest. Her hand still moved over the length of him, teasing and caressing as he kissed her so hard she bent her head back until her neck ached. Releasing him she grasped both his shoulders in her hands, pulling him over her, holding onto him desperately as the fire raged between them.

Feeling him push against her she took him in slowly, inch by inch into the heat of her body. Feeling him attempting to be gentle that pissed her off.

“Don’t be gentle,” she said pulling his mouth to hers and raising her hips dramatically.

Leaving her mouth too soon, he traced fiery kisses over the swell of her breasts and as a result she tightened her walls around him in desperation. Grounding his mouth hard over her nipple, his moist and burning mouth pulled at the flesh, his tongue probing the peak of her tightened nipple, his teeth grazing it as she cried out in passion.

“Stefan,” she breathed.

He possessively cupped her breast and continued to feast upon it with determination. Holding his grip on her nipple with his mouth, he cupped the other one and licked every part of that one as well, his fingers still teasing the breast he abandoned.

“Stefan, stop,” she said, the pressure and heat increasing inside her to where she didn’t think she could take it anymore.

He gently blew over the damp nipple causing her to moan at the cool air colliding unexpectedly with her nipple covered in his heat. The waves of passion poured over them again and again as if someone were pouring burning lava on them. Stefan buried himself deeper into her, wanting to forever be encased inside her. Driving himself further into her he never ceased to leave her breast, his tongue and teeth still suckling her to the point where she could barely stand it. She closed her eyes, savoring each touch. Beginning to feel her climax, it triggered his own response as he pulled her into his arms and kissed her, swallowing the desperate moans as they began to violently explode together. Placing her back on the ground slowly, he still held her as he struggled to regain his breath. Their hearts still pounded and they both waited until they could breathe, let alone speak. Lifting his head up he gently brushed his mouth over her swollen lips.

“I love you,” she said, returning the brief but passionate kiss and she returned to frantically trying to catch her breath.

He didn’t want to stop. Making his way down to her legs, he spread them gently.

“What are you doing, oh please don’t,” she said, not knowing if she could take it right now. “Stefan!”

Feverishly sucking on her, she felt the perspiration over her skin cling to her and the lust flame to an unreachable height. He wouldn’t stop, Laura had to look for something to help her survive this in her already weakened state. A chair! A chair was in her reach so she grasped one of the legs and squeezed it in the rhythm of her orgasm, her pleading words making his mouth more insistent. With a suction of extreme power, his tongue encircled her over and over again, his fingers slipping into her and feeling the heat as his mouth tasted her essence. By this point Laura couldn’t see, praying it would happen, and praying she would live to tell.

 Stefan removed his fingers slowly from her heat, trailing his tongue to her opening dipping even more lushly than his fingers had. Placing his fingers where his mouth had been, he curved his fingers over her and squeezed gently as she gulped another gasp. The sensory overload hit her hard as another loud moan escaped her lips and she felt her nails digging into the wooden chair. 
 She whimpered as his tongue slipped in and out of her and stroked lavishly on her swollen core, taking turns with his fingers.  
 “Oh God. . .”
 Her body leapt again, as the pressure inside her began to soar. Her head
fell back against the hard floor as she felt she was beginning to lose consciousness in a world without thought. Incredible . . . pleading, her body was crying, begging, more . . . more . . . more . . .

“Stefan…stop, I can’t…”

“Yes you can,” he murmured then continued to drive her to the edge.

 She could feel the climax coming; her body tensing, getting ready to explode. Her lungs pumped furiously, leaving her head swimming in a collage of sensations. More…she thought. 
 As if answering her prayers his tongue thrust against the most sensitive part of her, throwing her into the glittering black of oblivion. . . 
 
 Raising back up into reality she wiped her face free of perspiration, gasping and almost heaving to breathe. He cradled her in his arms as she breathed deeply and irregularly. She reached and touched his face, caressing his cheek lightly with her nails, her dilated eyes and deep red lips showed the passion that had so recently echoed throughout her. Desperately trying to fall back into normalness, she began placing feathery kisses on his beautiful tan torso, her firm hand slowly marching its way down his chest and abdomen to his dick, but he took her wrist and drew it back and she looked at him with question in her eyes.

“Laura, let me make love to you one more time.”

“Are you crazy,” she whispered. “I have just enough energy left to touch you, I can’t do that again.”

Tenderly and slowly kissing her full lips, he slowly tried to break down her barriers as he gathered her in his arms and pushed her back to the floor.

“Stefan,” she said as if to protest. Then sighed, defeated. “I love you, I really do.”

“I love you,” he said making love to her once again.

~The End~

What’d you think???