Get out the tissues, everyone, Rei was feeling sappy! ^^;;; Quote: "Even hiding, even hiding, I was able to realize that in my disorientation, you were shedding tears" from Metamorphose "Kakushite mo kakushite mo sasorareteyuku Boku no tomadoi ni Namida wo nagashiteta"     Kamijo sat next to the thin man on the couch, mind replaying the voice message from Machi over and over in his mind. He cursed himself for ever getting involved with Mayu, for ever overreacting. But it was too late now, he couldn't just tell the guitarist that he was playing with him! He sighed and looked at Emiru, plucking vacantly at his bass across the room. Now Emiru must hate me too, he thought wearily.     Suddenly his hand was taken into Mayu's and the guitarist's brown eyes gazed up at him, prying him for answers. "What are you thinking about, Kamijo-chan?" he asked.     Flinching inside, Kamijo lied, "A new song."     "Oh, you'll have to sing it for me!" Mayu exclaimed, latching onto the blonde man's arm.     Damn, I always make the wrong excuses! Kamijo thought. Before the conversation could continue, the door of the studio swung open and Machi walked in, red  hair atop his head in the same way it had been when he had gone out to dinner with his former lover. The sight almost made Kamijo want to cry, but he leaned down and gave a happy Mayu a quick kiss before standing up and turning his back on the broken-hearted man.     That kiss was the last straw for Machi. He didn't even bother staying and he whirled around, running out of the studio. Looking over his shoulder, Kamijio watched him leave with empty eyes.     Machi didn't stop running until he was in his apartment, door closed and locked behind him. He flung his tired body onto his couch and sobbed, letting all of his emotions out. Finally, drained of tears and all feeling, he dragged himself to the kitchen and grabbed some cup ramen. Perhaps food would get his mind off of his troubles.     It didn't. And that night, he sank into bed feeling as though the whole world had turned its back on him. And in a sense, it had. Kamijo had been his whole world, his reason for life and happiness. Yet just like that, Kamijo had replaced him. Images of his lover's lips brushing over Mayu's and that sick smile that Mayu had on his face flashed through his head, haunting him. Squinting his eyes shut tight, he turned onto his side and forced himself to sleep, only to see the same visions again in his dreams.     It had been a week and Machi still hadn't shown up for practice. Kamijo began to get worried, but had to hide this inside. The blonde man stayed in Mayu's apartment, as though hiding from all the memories left in his own.     It was evening and Mayu had rented a movie, excitedly showing it to Kamijo, declaring it their "special night". The memory was all too evident of the night he had watched the movie with Machi, his red-haired lover sleeping peacefully in his lap. The guitarist lounged against the blonde man on the couch, resting his head on his shoulder. Kamijo could smell the clean scent of the other man's hair, it was almost intoxicating. He had his arm hooked lightly around the slim man's waist, trying to concentrate on feelings other than the strange man in his arms.     "Nee.... Kamijo-chan?" Mayu sighed, snuggling his cheek further into the larger man's shoulder. "Do you think Machi's okay? I mean, he's been gone for a long time now..."     Kamijo closed his eyes, saying, "I'm sure he's fine... Emiru called him and he said that he was sick."     "Mm, okay."  He was silent for a while, then sat up, looking Kamijo directly in the eyes. "Eh... ano... Kamijo-chan?"     "...Yes?"     "Will- will you.. umm..." He turned a bright shade of crimson, "... make love to me?" Mayu cast his eyes down, blushing incredibly.     Panic shot up in Kamijo's chest. What am I going to do?! I can't just say no! "Uh, well, I..."     "Please? I want it, well, that is, if you do..." The guitarist slid closer to a very uncomfortable Kamijo and rested his hands on his chest, rubbing slightly. His hands moved up around the back of the blonde man's neck and he pulled him down on the couch on top of him, letting his lips meet Kamijo's.     God, I'm sorry, Machi... Kamijo thought helplessly. He gave up his defenses, and just let himself be kissed. Suddenly, he felt Mayu's small hands roam up underneath his shirt to feel the hot skin of his back. Against his will, he let out a sigh of pleasure at the feel of those hands and Mayu's lips kissing his throat and jaw.     Kamijo shifted so that Mayu more rested against the arm of the couch, rather than being smothered into the cushions under his weight. Mayu took this oppurtunity to slide Kamijo's shirt off over his head. Craning his neck forward, he trailed his tongue down the side of the blonde man's neck, sucking the skin gently. Much to the vocalist's dismay, his instincts took over and he wrapped his arms around Mayu's waist, pulling him up to straddle his lap. The warm tongue continued downward until it made short strokes of Kamijo's left nipple, teasing it into a hard nub. He took it into his mouth, sucking and biting it gently.     Kamijo let his head fall back in pleasure, moaning, "Ohh... Machi...."     There was a deathly silence in the room. The vocalist could feel his heart sink at the words that involuntarily slipped out of his mouth. Climbing off of the blonde man's lap, Mayu's lip trembled slightly and Kamijo could see his eyes begin to glisten with tears.     "M-mayu-chan! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"     "I know you've been playing with me," Mayu interrupted, tears begin to slide out of the corners of his eyes. "I've been your retaliation. But for what? Machi didn't do anything!"     "Mayu, I-"     "I just hoped that maybe somehow you could love me, that we could have a future. I-I'm so selfish..." The tears rolled down his cheeks and he hunched himself on the opposite end of the couch.     Kamijo felt terrible. He felt terrible for using Mayu so badly and he felt terrible for making Machi go through all this. "I'm so sorry, Mayu," he whispered, wrapping his arms around the guitarist's body.     Mayu choked down a sob, saying, "Go back to Machi. Get down off your high horse and go back to him. It's all because of me that this happened."     "It's not you, Mayu! Really!" Kamijo tried to insist but he still felt like the lowest scum on the entire earth for making him cry. "I'm sorry, I hope you will be able to forgive me."     Mayu smiled, a sad smile, face wet with tears. He lifted a hand and touched the side of the blonde man's face so lightly, pushing it sideways. Planting a small kiss on his cheek, he whispered, "Thank you. Go back to him."     Not knowing what else to do, Kamijo gave the guitarist a swift kiss, then pulled on his shirt and made his way out the door, leaving Mayu, still crying, behind.     Machi sat huddled on his bed, eyes red and swollen from too many tears. His lights were all off, leaving him in an embodiment of the darkness he felt inside. He was drained, drained of energy and life. Looking over, he turned his pillow the long way, cuddling up to it as though it were someone's body. Wrapping his arms around it, he snuggled his face into the middle of it. "Kami-chan..." he sighed, tears leaving wet splotches on the silky fabric.     All of a sudden, he sat straight up, yelling out loud, "Dammit, what's wrong with me?! It's a fucking pillow!" With all of his strength, he threw it across the room. It smashed into his dresser, knocking a picture frame with a photo of him and Kamijo smiling happily in it onto the floor. The glass of the frame flew in shards all over the floor.     His mind collapsing in on himself, he scooted down to the floor, tears falling among the sharp pieces. Gently, he lifted the photo out of the mess, clutching it to his chest. Setting it aside, his broken self started the impossible task of piecing the glass back together, shoulders shaking from sobs.     Through his own raspy breathing, the noise of the telephone startled him, his hands jerking quickly amidst the glass. With a sharp jolt of pain, he looked down, noticing the crimson line of liquid across his wrist. "Shit," he whispered, wiping it off with his fingers. It seemed to have missed any major veins, luckily.    He ran across the room to the phone and picked it up quickly, just as it was reaching its last ring. "Moshi moshi?"     "Machi-chan?" The familiar voice sent shivers up his spine but he wasn't going to be broken that easily.     "'Chan' now? Not 'Machi, you're a terrible drummer, I'll find a new one'?" he sneered, hurting through every cell of his body. "Or maybe a new lover?"     "Machi-chan, please! I need to talk to you!" Kamijo sounded near the brink of tears. Lowering his voice, he pleaded, "Can I please come over?"     "I don't know, don't you have any big plans with Mayu?" Just a little longer, torture him just a little longer.     "Onegai, that's what I need to talk to you about."     "Oh, did you break up?"     "Please stop, Machi-chan!"     He sighed, giving in to his lover's distressed voice. "Fine, get over here. This better be good." He hung up without even waiting for a response.     Immediately, he rushed to the bathroom, a strange excitement growing inside. Whipping out his make-up, he proceeded to make himself flawless before Kamijo came over, although he couldn't do much about the red eyes. Most of the bleeding from his wrist had stopped, and he pressed a tissue over it to soak up any more blood. After what seemed like an eternity, the door bell rang.     Positioning himself on a chair in his living room, he called out as annoyed as he could, "It's open."     Hesitantly, the door opened and the blonde man stepped in, eyes cast down. "I'm sorry if I'm bothering you."     Machi said nothing and just watched him take off his shoes and slowly walk to the living room, still not making eye contact.     "Machi-chan? I... I don't know where to start." Kamijo looked so helpless, standing in the middle of the living room, wringing his hands in front of his body. "I guess with an apology. I'm so sorry, I'm such a bastard." A faint waiver began to appear in his voice as he continued. "Wh-when I saw you with Emiru, I snapped and didn't even wait for an explanation... s-so,my mind thought I should go be with Mayu to," He paused. "get you back."     Machi looked away at those words, trying to be as icy as he could until he felt ready.     "But then when I got your message, it was too late, I was in over my head with Mayu! And...."     "And yet you still did everything you could to make me jealous, to ruin my life?" the drummer asked forcefully, trying to contain the tears he knew were inevitable.     Kamijo couldn't do this. The salty liquid began to run in little rivers down the sides of his pale face. "I-I'm so terrible! I was too vain to admit that I was wrong!"He collapsed on the floor, kneeling and burying his face and arms over Machi's lap. His sobs drowned out any attempt for words.     Machi gazed down at the blonde man sobbing in his lap, a pang of sadness inside and he had an incredibly desire to wrap his arms around his lover, a desire to just hold him and comfort him. But not yet. He had to prove himself worthy. "If you love me so much, why wouldn't you listen to me?"     In between sobs, Kamijo managed to choke out, "I love you so much that I was so blinded with pain when I thought you were with him! I-I-" He couldn't make out any more words. His shoulders racked with sobs, he just lay there crying his eyes out, wetting Machi's lap with his tears.     His arms slid from the drummer's lap and he hunched himself into a small ball on the floor, sobbing into his knees. "It hurts," he whispered. "It hurts so much inside to think... to think that I might... might never be able to hold you again... to kiss you..." His grip around his knees tightened. "Oh God, I hurt so much, but I deserve it."    Machi couldn't bear anymore. Tears slipping from his eyes, he knelt down to his sobbing lover, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and nuzzling his face into Kamijo's neck. The blonde man's arms held Machi tightly around the waist and he sobbed into his shoulder, too relieved and emotional to say anything. The drummer just held his lover's head to his chest, stroking the hair gently, although he too was crying hard.     Pushing himself away a little bit, he gave a comforting smile to the vocalist, and attempted to wipe the tears away from Kamijo's pretty eyes, but they just kept coming. "Shh... no need to cry, right?"     Kamijo swallowed down a sob. "Y-you'll forgive me? After that?"     Machi nodded, replying, "Of course. I'm just so glad that you actually do still care about me!" He wrapped his arms around the blonde man's neck.     The vocalist just pulled Machi near again, holding him as though if he loosened his grip, he would slip out of his grasp forever. The red-haired man brought his face around and gently caressed Kamijo's lips with his own, very softly. Kamijo returned it gladly, stroking the drummer's back lightly.     When Machi pulled away, he whispered, smiling, "You taste like tears, Kami-chan."     Kamijo could do nothing but laugh. The light in his life had returned again and he vowed that he would never do something as stupid again. Lovingly, he took Machi's hand, kissing the skin softly. He tasted a very irony taste on his lips and looked down worriedly, seeing the cut across Machi's wrist. Eyes widening in horror and shock, he stammered, "M-machi, you didn't... try to...?"     Embarrassed, Machi pressed his hand over his cut, replying, "No, no! I cut my wrist on some... glass...."     The blonde man lifted the wrist up and gently ran his lips over the wound, attempting to heal it with his love alone. Suddenly sitting up straight, he declared, "Let me get you a band-aid!" He ran down the hall to Machi's bathroom, then stopped and caught his breath, taking a moment to look at his own tear-streaked face in the mirror. His hand drifted down to his pocket and he felt the square object, a great nervousness filling him.     With band-aid in hand, he walked back to wear his lover was sitting on the floor, then knelt before him, first putting the band-aid on his wrist. Instead of releasing the hand, he kept hold of it, then reached into pocket with his free hand, pulling out a small black velvet box. "Um, Machi-chan, I've been terrible, but I want to prove my love to you. I never want to leave your side because you... you're the love of my life..." He opened the box, revealing a simple, but gorgeous, gold and ruby ring. "Will you... be mine?"     Machi's heart lept up to his throat and tears of a new kind came to his eyes. Smiling broadly, he nodded, managing out, "Y-yes! Of course!"     Kamijo felt as though it were the happiest moment of his life. He removed the ring from the box and effortlessly slid it onto his lover's ring finger, watching in joy as Machi admired the symbol of Kamijo's everlasting love. Looking up from the ring, the drummer threw his arms around the blonde man's neck, exclaiming, "Ai shiteru yo, Kami-chan!"     Kamijo drank in the scent of Machi's hair, holding him tightly to his body. "I love you too. Thank you so much for still accepting me, you had every right in the world not to."     "But I'd live single forever then because I would never be with anyone but you!" Machi exclaimed, tears of joy wetting Kamijo's neck.     Kamijo smiled, leaned in and let his lips meet Machi's in a sweet and tender kiss, one that they both had missed in their absence. Finally, the drummer just sat on Kamijo's lap, cradled in his strong arms. The warmth of another body melted all the ice that had formed inside and Machi just snuggled up against Kamijo's chest, closing his eyes. Words were not needed to communicate the relief and utter joy that passed between them. Giving the drummer's body one last squeeze with his arms, Kamijo whispered, "Let's go home, ne!" ***     Gathering all of his courage, the bassist walked up to the closed door of Mayu's apartment. "It's now or never," he told himself, and raised his fist to the wood, knocking lightly. Emiru waited as nothing happened and just as he was about to leave, the door was quickly opened and a very upset looking Mayu stood in the doorway.     "Ah, Emiru, what brings you here?" he asked awkwardly, trying to regain a steady voice.     "A-ano... can I talk to you?" the bassist asked nervously. "Is now a good time?"     "Yeah, perfect time," Mayu lied as he forced a smile, stepping aside and letting Emiru in.     "Arigatou ne." The bassist's heart was racing madly as he slipped out of his shoes. Following the slim form into the living room, he sat down on a chair and nervously toyed with a corner of his shirt. "Well, I..." he stammered.     "If you're coming to talk about Kamijo, it's over," Mayu stated bluntly.     "No, no! That's not it... but..." He took a deep breath. "M-mayu, I... I think I like you, I mean, like like you."     Mayu's breath hitched in his throat. Someone cared? For him?     "And I know this is kind of sudden and all, but... I've been watching you for a long time now and when I finally got the courage, you had gotten together with Kamijo. And... and it was painful, seeing you with him, because I wanted to only see you with me." Emiru's cheeks were flushed pink and a look of almost fear glazed his eyes.     "Eh, Emiru, I..."     "I was wondering if... somehow... we could, y'know, be... together? If you don't want to, that's okay. I can handle it," he said quickly, biting his trembling bottom lip.     Mayu admired all of the courage the bassist had acquired to come. He knew what it felt like to have been rejected. Standing up, he moved over to Emiru and cupped his face in his palm. "Emiru, I don't know what I feel for you, but it would never hurt giving it a try." He smiled down at the other man, drifting his fingers lightly across his chin. "I think it just might work."     Tears of happiness rose up in the bassist's eyes and he grinned broadly, exclaiming, "Oh, thank you, Mayu-chan! Thank you so much!" Without even thinking, he threw his arms around the guitarist's waist, hugging him tightly.     Mayu laughed, holding the ecstatic man. "I can't breathe, Emi-chan!"     "Ah, gomen." He unlatched his arms, placing his hands in his lap and casting his eyes down.     Squatting in front of him, Mayu took his hands. "Daijoubu da yo." He brought a hand up to his lips, planting a light kiss on the knuckles. "I'm glad you came."     "Ne, aren't you going to get into bed, Machi-chan?" Kamijo asked, already tucked snugly under the blankets.      "I'll be there in a few minutes, okay? I'm not very tired yet," the drummer replied, smiling sweetly at his lover.     "Oh, I sure am!" the blonde man exclaimed, snuggling into the bed more and closing his eyes. "Oyasumi."     Leaning down, Machi planted a small kiss on Kamijo's forehead, replying, "Oyasumi nasai."     Quietly, he walked out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. He smiled as he walked to the kitchen, just thinking of how cute Kamijo had been under those blankets, large eyes looking up at him. And he had him back, that's all the mattered. Looking down at his hand, he toyed with the ring gently, content in the knowledge that he was Kamijo's now and Kamijo was his. That's how it would always be.     He picked up the phone and dialed, hearing the phone ring until the answering machine took the call. "Hi, this is Emiru. I'm not here now and if you are fangirls, how the hell did you get my number? But keep sending me the dollies, they are very kawaii! So anyways, if I know you, leave a message! Bai-bai! ^^"     "Emiru, this is Machi. I thought you should know that Kamijo and I are back together and that I think you should go for Mayu now... so... You aren't home now, but have a nice night!" How little Machi knew.     Suddenly, Machi felt the need just to have Kamijo hold him in his arms and he made his way back to their bedroom, letting his bathrobe drop at the door. Pajamas pants swishing as he sauntered across the floor, he looked down at the figure on the bed. His features were peaceful and relaxed, arms tucked up against his body. Softly, Machi sat down on the bed next to the man, sliding under the blankets carefully so as not to wake his lover. He couldn't help, though, but to reach out and stroke the hair up away from his face, making Kamijo's eyes flutter open.     "Machi-chan, you're here!"     "Of course I'm here, did I wake you?"     "How could I sleep without you in my arms?" He smiled gently, taking Machi's hand and attempting to make him lay down. Machi followed his instructions glady, resting his head on the blonde man's chest. "How I have missed this feeling..." he uttered, arms draped around the drummer's form. Machi said nothing, just smiled, and brought one arm up to hold onto the fabric of Kamijo's pajama shirt, the other resting against the vocalist's side.     While Kamijo ran his fingers through the drummer's long hair softly, getting reacquainted with the feel, Machi asked quietly, "Ano, Kami-chan?"     "Hm?"     The grip on Kamijo's pajama shirt tightened. "Did you ever, well, make love to Mayu?"     "No, of course not!" Kamijo exclaimed. It was the truth, minus the one attempt that had brought him back together with Machi. "You're the only one who will ever get that."     "Good..." Machi sighed, relaxing in the vocalist's arms. Pressing himself as close as he could get to his lover's body, he fell asleep.     Smiling down at the beautiful man, Kamijo's fingers lightly ran over his soft cheeks and down his jawline. "I'm so sorry I hurt you," he whispered to the sleeping man. "I was so stupid to hurt the man I love so much." Clasping his hands comfortably around Machi's body, he too went to sleep. To Part 7