Part One
I remember way back when...


O.K. So you wanna know how this band came about? No? Tough shit.

Mice vs. Jersey is the story of two bands. Both of which sucked to high heaven. No, really, I can say that because it's totally true. Anyway, on with the story.

The Un-named Garage Band

The first band never actually made up a name. It was Joe on guitar, another guy named Joey on drums (who had been playing for a grand total of two days at the time, and still sucks to this day), a guy name Chris Lambert singing lead, a guy named J.R. playing bass, and a guy named Mike Allen playing guitar. So what happened to this pop punk garage band of old? We didn't do anything. Plain and simple. Although we did sort of fiddle around in Chris's garage, I wouldn't call it "practice." J.R. (quit / was kicked out) and went to join The Fried Chickens (that's a different story). Me (Joe)and Mike both left the band to persue bigger and better things. What they were, we still don't know. We did, however, come up with a couple songs...one of which is somewhat famous around town: The Love/Hate Song. So what? you might ask...exactly. So what? The highlight of this band's career was Chris' coffee. Chris Lambert makes the perfect cup of coffee.

The Fried Chickens

At the same time the un-named band was dying, The Fried Chickens were starting their long and prosperous career. Why were they called "The Fried Chickens" you ask? Because a d.j. from 107.1 Channel Z said it would be cool. What a bunch of posers.

Anyway, The Fried Chickens consisted of J.R., previous bass man for the un-named band, a chick named Denny on guitar, Rory (current lead guitartist for the Oi! Scouts) on drums, and Justin Rack (our bassist, you retard) on bass. That's right. I'm not joking. Two bassists. Lame, eh?

The Fried Chickens fell victim to the same fate as the un-named band...do-nothing-itis. So they dissolved into nothing...sort of.

Mice vs. Jersey

Denny and Justin hooked up with Joe and a guy named Niles, who just sang backup. Joe sang lead. We had many names back then..."69 Cents," "99 West," and "We're a bunch of losers so don't feel bad." Well, not that last one, but you get the picture.

Denny sort of lost touch with the band. I hear it's because she said we sucked. Well, duh. Anyway, we were covering a shitload of Nirvana because it was easy. We also played alot of Rancid, because Rancid kicks ass. Not to say that we played them well, mind you, but we played them. For like a week, we had Mike Allen on rhythm guitar, but he moved to Downtown Bu-Fu and we rarely seem him now.

*months later* We find a drummer. Brandon, who is supposed to be like the best drummer this side of the Mississippi, signs on with us. We didn't actually see him until about a month later, because he was grounded. The bastard. We were starting to think he was just a figment of Justin's overactive imagination.

Alright! Here's the part about the name! ...So we needed a name. All great bands have a name, right? This was hard. We didn't like our old name(s), but we just couldn't come up with something cool. Rory (fore-mentioned axe man for Oi! Scouts) came up with a list. A LONG list. Some of the names were cool, like "Splatter Punx." Some were stupid. Like "The Band Formerly Known as Justin Rack's Band." Among these idiotic ramblings was one name which caught everyone's eye. A name which just screamed "Hey, you! Yeah, you! With the hair! This one!" Well, not really, but you get the picture. What was that name? Use your brain dumbass, it was Mice vs. Jersey.

Band count: at the time we had Joe (guitar, lead vocals), Justin (bass, backup vocals), Niles (backup vocals), and Brandon (drums). Sound like a band to you? Guess again. We still hadn't played together. Oh well. We booked a couple gigs anyway.

The first was a party for some chick named Keisha. Brandon, being grounded, couldn't come, so Adam Nurre (bassist for Oi! Scouts) sat in to keep the beats. Rory grabbed his guitar and came along to make out with Jesse Coghill, the only attendent of the party. At least we got free pizza.

Then came George's party. O.K., so it was a party that we threw for the sole purpose of showcasing us, but that's not the point. We were sounding pretty good by then (without Brandon still) and Adam, yet again, saved the day. We played some covers, some people danced, then we were done. The Oi! Scouts went on, and the party began. Everyone said we were pretty good, they were just too busy drinking or making out in the tree house (Rich) to come in and see us play. Oh well. The first band always gets dumped on. (Thanx for the pick-me-up, Jason)

*time passes* We start writing songs. No, no, let me rephrase that. I (Joe) started writing songs. So we made some music. Big deal, right? Anyway, Niles gets a job and can hardly practice with the band. The same time, Brandon gets out on parole from his house. We grab Justin Wille to sing lead, and things started speeding up.

Within a couple of weeks, we grab Ryan O'Neil (assistant guitar), Robin Hoskins (bad-ass baritone sax), and J.J. Ponder (the shiznit on trumpet). So we practice. We write songs. We sign up for the Rumble.

The First Annual Anti-School Bash

The cops were creeping around two hours before it started, Brandon's parents yanked him from the band the day before, and it was still raining. Sound like a party?

Adam "Hero of the Day" Nurre stepped in on drums, saving our asses yet again. Anyway, we were so far back in the woods you couldn't hear us. The Oi Scouts and us went on, had fun, drank some beer. Nothin much happened. Some stuff got broke, there was puke everywhere, and half of Amelia was ready to kick Justin Wille's ass. Oh well. We got a gig out of the deal.

The end.
Well, not really.
You know what I mean.

The Smucks

But that's not all. Chris Lambert, Mike Allen, and Joey go on to find a bassist and form a band (I guess) called The Smucks. They spelled it wrong on purpose (at least that's what they said). They say they have some pretty cool songs, but I find that hard to believe with Joey playing drums. Even Chris and Mike will admit that Joey sucks, but oh well. Life goes on.

The Moral

What's the moral of the story? Actually, there are many. 1) If you're gonna start a band, make sure the members can play; 2) Chris Lambert makes the best coffee; 3) if you want to start a band, make sure the drummer can get out of his house, and if he can't, just borrow someone; 4) the first band to play gets dumped on; and finally, 6) never, I mean NEVER, have a band with two bass players. It's just plain stupid.

this place is cooler than you.