I met her late one Friday night
Four in the morning and I feel alright
I pressed redial, we had a conversation
The JJC secret initiation
We called each other and talked every night
I gave her the test and she survived the fight
Well I wrote this song because of your request
But Jami Roeding, you're not the best, you're my
Lesbian girl from Villa Madonna
Plays volleyball but don't smoke marijuana
She thinks she's God but we know it's not true
I hope this song will satisfy you
We're alike in many ways, but we differ in more
She's not certain, but I know for sure
She thinks she knows me like the back of her hand
But she don't know about my master plan
She studies hard, works out every day
She'll go far, and maybe some day
Become president and move into that house
Save the world while I watch Mighty Mouse
CHORUS
Adam's puking on the front lawn
One bottle's empty, the other is gone
Grab my guitar and go on
Knew from the start we'd be singing 'till dawn
Justin said he's leaving and coming right back
Gonna get some dinner and try to find Matt
I look around and something ain't right
I can't be drunk on Tuesday night
I never hold back when we're feeling the power
Got to get ready for work in an hour
And I don't feel too well
Through the red in my eyes I can see that
Rack's in the back and he's visibly shaken
We've all lost track of the shots that we've taken
Let's go raise some hell
Old Captain Mudflap comes out at night
If you're gonna play the blues, then you better play it right
I stumble through the chords cause I can't see far
This double vision makes it kinda hard to play guitar
The night slips past as the day rolls in
The hours seem to fly when you're with Jack and Jim
Robin's passed out on the floor
We better wake her up, cause we're drinking some more
CHORUS
CHORUS
Well when you walked in the room
You know we all had to stop and look because
Somebody told us you were dead
It's no surprise - we could see it in your eyes
That you had prob'ly fucked it up again
Well I know you think that everybody is out to get you
And nobody wants to be your friend
That may be true but there is nothing you can do
Because you'll prob'ly just give up again
Giving up again
Well I'm not being rude and this is not an attitude
I'm just trying to tell it like it is
I know it's weird - it's not what you wanna hear
And I'm sorry if you're gettin pissed
Fuck that! I'm not sorry! I don't give a shit!
And we're all getting sick of it!
You'll chicken out and you'll try to find a knife
You're too pussified to live your life
Giving up again
You tell me you don't think it's fair
Why do you care what I say
I'm just some guy you barely know
And you keep saying that you think it's wrong
It's the same old song and dance again
I don't know why you come to me
And every time he hurts you
And every time is too soon
There must be a better way
And when you finally come to
Your eyes don't seem to see through
Do you even hear what it is I say?
Do you know why?
You tell me all the things you've done
Why am I the one you're talking to
Who the hell am I to give advice?
And when you need a shoulder
You come to me cause I'm a little bit older
But sometimes years don't mean a thing
I've had my share of hard times
This may come as a surprise
I don't always do what's right
You've got to find direction
Even if it means correction
And even sleeping alone tonight
Do you know why?
And every time he hurts you
And every time is too soon
Do you even hear what it is I say?
Do you know why?
Oi Oi Oi
I like the cops
Oi Oi Oi
I like the cops
Laughin in your face at the donut shop
Don't let me hear you talkin your stupid smack
Don't fuck around with me cause I'll just fight back
I'm runnin
No stoppin
I'm loaded
Love those cops and
Nobody
Can stop me
I'd like to see you try
CHORUS
Second verse, same as the first!
CHORUS
Oink Oink Oink
I love the cops
Make a bad move and you're gonna get dropped
Stick around when things get hot
Did YOU ever get frisked for an incomplete stop?
CHORUS
They met one day at church
Candy was her name
Steve only knew her for a week
But he loved her just the same
Candy taught kindergarden
Steve was a farmer's son
Together just a few short months
But they were having fun
Candy saved herself for the man that she would wed
Steve never forced himself on her and they slept in separate beds
When they finally tied the knot, it seemed the world was right
But nothing could explain the things that took place on that night...
Candy was a dominatrix
Steve was really scared
She beat him with whips and chains
Until his skin would tear
Candy taught him a lesson
Then became a lesbian
Steve became a vegetable
And never spoke again
Candy was a dominatrix (x3)
Steve never spoke again
A tragic victim of S&M
Candy was a dominatrix (x3)
Candy was almost insane
Dishing out her brand of pain
Candy was a dominatrix (x3)
Skating by myself when a cop pulled up next to me
He said "Son, this is not where you're supposed to be,"
Called for his partner in another part of town
They got together and I got a beat down
You hate my guts, you hate my guts
Just go away, you fuckin suck
Go away, just go away
Another way, another day
There was a kid who was really into hardcore
Moshing at a concert with his wallet gone and shirt torn
Singer kicks him in the head for lighting up a smoke
Violence isn't cool and unity is not a joke
CHORUS
I got no time for - no time for having fun
I just keep waiting - waiting for this to be done
And now I'm staring - I'm staring at the wall
You see I just can't get any work done at all
I'm feelin lucky today, I'll throw a party tonight
Friday the 13th always makes me feel alright (x2)
Most people don't share - don't share my point of view
Some even think that - think that my mind is eschew
But it don't matter, you know I really don't care
They're just mad because they think that I'm more debonair
CHORUS
It makes me fell o.k., it makes me feel alright
It makes me feel like finding Steve and picking a fight
I'm feeling lucky today, I'll throw a party tonight
Friday the 13th always makes me feel alright