==Deluxe Manga Translation==
"Project Asuna: Team Stroganoff"
=NIgashite tamaru ka!!=
=I Won't Let You Go!!=
v12c11 (normal edition)
VW8c3 (wideban edition)
===============================================================================
draft version, 7/14/96
Translated 3/19/96 - 6/4/96
Compiled 7/13/96 - 7/14/96
Translators:
Michael Welsh Duggan [MWD]
Thomas Mattman [YS]
Other contributors:
Bob Carragher [BC]
Benjamin Franz [BF]
Scott Henry [SH]
Samuel Lysinger [SL]
Craig H. Nishida [CHN]
Compiler:
Katherine S. Lu [KSL]
Please send comments/corrections to .
===============================================================================
p195 PW319 [MWD]
1
A picture of Kyouko, bust-shot, takes up the lower half of the page below
the title. She is wearing a tennis outfit, and holding a tennis racket in
one hand, and a tennis ball in the other.
Title:
PART 11 #PART 11#
I Won't Let You Go!! NIgashite tamaru ka!!
let-loose gather
or or
set-free collect
[MWD] Sorry to fail on the very first bit of translation. It appears
to me that , set-free, and , gather, are being
used because they are antonyms. The fact that they are antonyms
makes me think that the title is supposed to be humorous based
on that fact. But I am having trouble with conversion to
English. Anyway, unless the combination has a special meaning I
do not know, it appears to be something along the lines of,
"letting [him/her/them?] go and then gathering them up", but
this sounds_extremely_awkward.
[CHN] I jot down occasional notes for Japanese words I don't find in
my dictionaries... Here's the entry I wrote down some time ago
for ... (I don't remember who I learned this
from--perhaps Paul Hirose. The ? parts are just my
extrapolations.)
tamaru ka exclamation for "unbearable" (from )
Vte-tamaru won't-let-V ?
So perhaps:
I can't/won't let you go!!
I can't/won't set you free!!
[YS] Exactly correct. It does come from . I've always
wondered why it's , since it sounds like it's not a
negative phrase, and would therefore would be "bearable"
instead... But I guess that's just how the language was spoken
^_^.
[CHN] I assume this is Asuna talking about Mitaka...
[YS] Actually, I think that's the "hidden" meaning. She's not the
type to use such a crude phrase. I believe it's Mitaka who's
the one saying this, referring to Kyoko. But it somehow ends up
as Asuna-san, who won't let go of Mitaka ^_^;
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
p196 PW320 [TM]
1
The first frame covers roughly the top half of the page and is split more
or less in half vertically by the billowing curtains of the window in
Godai's room. To the right, Godai's futon is draped over his window sill in
order to air it out. Godai is on top of the futon leaning out the window.
He's looking pensive as the sun shines down on him. To the right, is a
large portrait of Kyoko whose hair seems to be blowing in the same breeze
which has blown Godai's curtains to the side.
Kyoko: (flashback/narration)
I'll be single until summer. atashi NATSU madewa hitoridesu.
I summer till alone
[TM] [initial translation: I'll be alone until summer.]
This is a flashback to PW314. I'm not quite sure of the
context. Perhaps she's saying that she'll be waiting for him to
write his exams?
[YS] She's saying she's staying single until summer, when Godai
(hopefully) passes the exam.
[CHN] "single"? Don't know the context. But from the anime I vaguely
recall her implying that she's giving GOdai X number of months
before she decides.
SFX: (Godai daydreaming)
`daze~~~' `bo~~~'
2
Kyoko is hanging laundry. Ichinose, smokes and watches her.
Ichinose: _danna_
How was your visit to your do--datta, SOUICHIROsanno oHAKAMAri.
husband's grave? how was it husband's grave visit
[YS] Nitpick, "oBOSANri" --> "oHAKAMAIri".
3
Kyoko picks up a shirt while keeping her back to Ichinose who looks a bit
surprised.
Kyoko:
"How was it...?" doutte...
how say
[TM] [initial translation: How should I say it...]
[CHN] Isn't the is a quotative marker? So perhaps:
"How was it...?" [preferred]
"How was it," you ask...
Ichinose:
Mitaka-san went too, didn't he? MITAKAsanmo Ittandaro?
also went right
[TM] [initial translation: Mitaka-san was there too wasn't he?]
[CHN] The literal seems fine to me:
Mitaka-san went too, didn't he?
4
Kyoko seems uncertain how to answer. She looks back over her shoulder at
Ichinose who's wide-eyed with curiosity.
[YS] It looks like Kyoko-san's a bit suspicious, too ^_^;;
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
p197 PW321 [YS]
1
Kyoko's hanging up laundry to dry. Ichinose's sitting in Kyoko's room at
the window, with a cigarette in her hand.
SFX (laundry):
`snap!' `pan'
Kyoko:
Was it you, Ichinose-san, ICHInoSE-san desu ka,
that told Mitaka-san where MITAKA-san ni oHAKA no BASHO
the grave is? OSHIeta no.
Ichinose:
So he went, Itta n da,
after all. yappari.
[BF] Is this an idiomatic variation in the use of yappari? My scan
of it gave something like
I thought so. yappari
[CHN] That doesn't scan well. It's a whole sentence, so "So he went
after all." works better.
has a lot of English equivalents. "Just as I thought,"
"sure enough", "...after all", to name a few.
2
Kyoko straightens out the shirt.
SFX (laundry):
`???' `pishi_'
[YS] `straighten out' looked incredibly lame for an SFX ^_^;;
[BF] Maybe 'stretch...'? The original looks onomatopoetic in origin,
and judging by her knuckles, the shirt is under some stress. ^_^.
[CHN] Dunno about that. If it's onomatopoetic, then isn't that the
sound of cracking glass?
[BF] If you pull hard on some wet fabrics they make a kind of creaking
noise that could be rendered as 'pishi_' when different parts rub
on each other. I think cracking glass is 'kachan' (see panels 5
and 6 p43 VW8c3).
Kyoko:
Yes, we ran into him unexpectedly e--, oHAKA no MAE de GUUZEN battari
in front of the grave... oAi shite...
[YS] [initial translation: Yes, we happened to coincidentally run
into him in front of the grave...]
[CHN] How about "ran into unexpectedly" ?
Yes, we ran into him unexpectedly in front of the grave...
Ichinose:
Ran into him unexpectedly, huh... GUUZEN battari nee...
[YS] [initial translation: `Happened to coincidentally', huh...]
[CHN] Ran into him unexpectedly, huh...
3
View pans back. We see Godai poking his head above his window.
Ichinose:
So, he also met your parents. jya--, goRYOUSHIN ni mo Atta n da.
Kyoko:
Well, yes. e--, maa.
4
Ichinose throws the conversation in Godai's direction. Godai's surprised
Ichinose knew he was there, and Kyoko looks surprised Godai was there.
Ichinose:
...So she says. What are ...nan datte sa, do-- suru,
you gonna do, Godai-kun?! GODAI-kun!!
5
Borderless panel. Godai has a goofy, but calm look on his face.
Godai:
Don't worry about me. goSHINPAI naku.
_________
I'm just going to go at my boka--, maipe--su de ikimasu kara.
own pace.
6
Ichinose's a bit surprised at Godai's comment.
Ichinose:
Wow, you sure seem calm. he--, YOYUU an da ne--.
Godai:
Hahaha, it's too late to ha_ha_ha, IMA sara asettatte...
be hasty now...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
p198 PW322 [MWD]
1
Ichinose-san stares down at her hand, holding a cigarette.
Ichinose-san:
Surely, TASHIka ni,
even if you hurry, by now IMAsara asette mo TEOKUre ...ka.
it's too late...huh? By now in a hurry too late
[MWD] [initial translation: Even though you hurry, by now isn't it
too late?]
I have some problems with the "hurry" part of the above
translation. It is probably wrong.
[SL] suggestion: Even though you hurry, by now isn't it a bit too late?
[BC] My Y2 would be:
Even if you hurry, isn't it IMAsara asette mo TEOKUre
too late now? By now in a hurry too late
[CHN] TASHIka ni,
IMA sara asette-mo TEOKUre ...ka
now-(that-it's-too-late) even-if-are-in-a-hurry be-too-late
I'm sure...
...even if you are in a hurry, by now it's too late...huh?
2
Ichinose-san is sitting outside Ikkoku-kan, talking to Kyouko. Godai
shouts out the upstairs window.
Ichinose-san:
Godai-kun says he's given up. GODAI-kun akirameta tte,
What are you going to do,
kanrinin-san? do-- suru KANRININ-san.
[MWD] [initial translation: Godai says he's given up on you; what are
you going to do, kanrinin-san?]
[BC] I'm not sure that the "tte" is a direct quote to be used in
the way you are. Maybe
Kanrinin-san, what do you GODAI-kun akirameta tte,
think of Godai giving up? do-- suru KANRININ-san.
[CHN] GODAI-kun akirameta tte, do-- suru KANRININ-san.
gave-up (quote) what do
Godai-kun says he's given up. What are you going to do,
Kanrinin-san?
Godai:
Don't give it such a MYOU na TSUUYAKU sende
strange interpretaion, kudasai!!
please!!
[BC] Since when is "sende" == "shinai de?" B-)
[CHN] Because = ? Just a guess.
3
A car pulls up in front of Ikkoku-kan.
Sign:
Ikkoku-kan IKKOKU-KAN
SFX: ___
`screech' `ki_'
4
Mitaka comes out of the car, with a smiling, determined look.
SFX: ____
`click' `cha_'
Mitaka [speech balloon over next two panels]:
Otonashi-sa-a-an, I came by to OTONASHI-sa--n, oMUKAe ni
pick you up! agarimashita----_!
[MWD] Translation please? I know he is saying something about going
out to meet [her parents], but I am not sure how to tranlate the
pattern oX ni agaru. ]
[BC] Maybe
Otonashi-san, I've arrived OTONASHI-sa--n, oMUKAe ni
to pick you up. agarimashita----_!
Hm, that doesn't look so good. B-)
[CHN] There's no "parents" there, I'm pretty sure.
"came by for you" ??? The honorific is because he's using a
polite or humble form of the verb, I think.
Otonashi-sa-a-an... I came by for you-u-u!
5
Kyouko and Ichinose-san are in Kyouko's room; they hear Mitaka.
Kyouko:
Huh? n?
6
Godai is in his room; he also hears Mitaka.
Godai:
Huh? n?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
p199 PW323 [TM]
Ichinose and Kyoko have come to the front entrance to greet Mitaka.
1
Kyoko:
Mitaka-san... MITAKA-san...
SFX: (Kyoko's slippers)
`pitter patter' `patapata'
Mitaka:
Hi there. do--mo, konnichiha.
Hi
2
Mitaka beams and Kyoko is also smiling brightly.
Kyoko:
Uh... ano...oMUKAette...
You said you came for me...? meet said
Mitaka: ______________
Come now, today's your tennis yadanaa, KYOUha tenisu.suku-ru desuyo.
class. It's bad today tennis school
[TM] [initial translation: How could you forget? Today's your tennis
lesson.]
[CHN] Or just: "Come now, today's tennis school/class." ??
3
In a flash Godai appears.
SFX:
`stepstepstep' `dotata'
[TM] [initial translation: `TAH-DAH']
[CHN] rapid steps, I think.
4
The two rivals grimace at one another.
Godai:
Thanks for [what you did] the other doomo, konoMAEha.
time. thanks before
Mitaka:
Sure. doomo.
thanks
[TM] [initial translation: Thank-you.]
[CHN] This sounds odd. And has so many meanings it makes me
cross-eyed... Maybe just "all right." ???
5
Ichinose butts into the conversation. Mitaka looks kind of bashful about
what she says, while Godai pouts.
Ichinose:
I heard you met Kanrinin-san's KANRININsanno goRYOUSHINto Attandatte?
parents. parents met said
Mitaka:
Ye--s, we met by chance. e--, GUUZEN battari.
yes chance came across
Godai:
(What does he mean, "by chance"?) (na--niga GUUZEN battarida.)
what chance came across
[TM] i.e. Godai knows it wasn't really by chance at all.
6
Mitaka leans over towards Godai. His teeth sparkle. Godai's struggling to
keep his composure.
Mitaka:
For some reason, it seems I was nandaka KI ni Itte-moraechatta
able to get them to like me. mitaidene--.
seems
[TM] [initial translation:
It looks like I've given nandaka KI ni HAItte-moraechatta
something spirit enter gave
you something to think mitaidene--.
about, doesn't it? seems ]
[CHN] It's = was-able-to-get-(them)-to-take-a-
liking-(to-me)-(finality)
For grammatical nerds like me, it breaks down to
= like, take a fancy to
= get-(someone)-to-V
, the potential form of
with a --> tossed in
(ain't verb conjugations fun? ^_^)
= for some reason
Here's my stab at it:
For some reason, it seems I was able to get them to like me.
Godai:
Not at all, not at all. soreha soreha.
that's that's
[CHN] You don't like the gloss?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
p200 PW324 [YS]
1
Godai and Mitaka are in a stareoff ^_^. Ichinose ushers Kyoko to her room.
SFX:
`stare' `ji~~~~...'
Ichinose:
C'mon, go get prepared. SHITAKU shite kina yo.
He's come all the way here to sekkaku no oMUKAe nan dakara.
pick you up.
Kyoko:
Huh... haa...
2
Close up of Godai, from Mitaka's point of view.
Godai:
Aren't you being a bit YOmi ga AMAi n ja nai desu ka.
short-sighted,
Mitaka-san? MITAKA-san.
3
Godai and Mitaka continue their stareoff.
Godai:
What about the feelings of kanjin no KANRININ-san no
Kanrinin-san herself... KOMOchi ha...
Mitaka:
Ahahahahahahahaha ahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahaha. hahahahahahahahaha.
[YS] I counted 'em, that should be the right number ^_^;
4
Both take a little step back from their previous positions.
Mitaka:
Have you saved up, KAkeOchi no RYOHI toka,
for elopement expenses? tamatteru wake?
[YS] [initial translation: Have you saved up, for eloping expenses?]
Sentence order inverted.
[CHN] Or maybe "elopement expenses" ? "Elopement costs" ?
He wouldn't have to worry about such a thing, if he were
marrying Yagami... ^_^;;
Godai:
...... ...... ...... ......
5
A sweat drop appears on Godai's face.
Godai:
Why do I have to sneak around nande koso koso KAkeOchi senya
and elope? naran no desu.
[YS] [initial translation: Why do I have to sneakily elope?]
Does the "sneakily" take care of the "kosokoso" well?
[CHN] Sounds a bit odd, though. How about:
Why do I have to sneak around and elope?
? Oh god. Why can't he speak standard Japanese...?
Mitaka:
There's no way Otonashi-san's OTONASHI-san no goRYOUSHIN ga
parents would allow it. YURUshite kureru wake ga nai.
6
Godai gets riled up.
Godai:
At that point, the parents' OYA no KIMOchi nante kono SAI...
feelings...
[YS] Any better way to make an incomplete phrase?
[CHN] Can't think of any better.
Mitaka: _______
Just as I thought, it's the yappari KAkeOchi pata--n da.
eloping pattern.
[CHN] Tweak suggestion. Stick in an "it's"? For the ?
Just as I thought, it's the eloping pattern.
Elopement pattern? Pattern for eloping?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
p201 PW325 [MWD]
1
A vision of Kyouko dressed in rags and tatters, wandering through the cold,
windy streets of some city with a bicycle. Below, we see a grimly
passionate Mitaka, and an angry Godai.
SFX: (wind) ________
`whooooo' `byoooooo'
SFX:
`cough cough cough' `goho goho gefu_'
Mitaka:
The fiere opposition of everyone SHUUI no MOU HANTAI.
around. environs fierce opposite
[MWD] [initial translation: In greatly opposite environs.]
Not sure about the MOU here...
[YS] The is absolutely correct. But I think this is "The
fierce opposition of everyone around." (as in Kyoko's parents,
etc.)
Mitaka:
Ending up in a town at the tadoritsuita KITA no HAte
northern limits. end up in north the limits
no MACHI.
town
[MWD] [initial translation: Struggling on toward the northern limits
of the town.]
[YS] has a "strugle on" meaning, but it also has a "end
up in" sort of meaning. Maybe:
Mitaka:
Ending up in a town at the northern limits.
He's probably envisioning either Aomori or Hokkaidou. Sorta like
having to live in Alaska (sorry if anyone is from Alaska) ^_^;
Mitaka:
Roaring waves of impoverished DOTOU no BINKON SEIKATSU
living. raging billows poverty life
[MWD] [initial translation: Angry waves of impoverished living.]
DONAMI is my own construction, since neither of my dictionaries
contains this combination. So my meaning and reading are
probably both wrong for it.
[YS] It's . The dictionary gives "raging billows" and "roaring
waves" as the definition, but it's not supposed to be taken
literally (although the literal meaning also really fits in this
particular case ^_^). It's used often as just an adjective that
describes hardship or something raging.
Mitaka:
Poor Otonashi-san... kawaisou na OTONASHI-san...
pitiable
SFX:
`teary-eyed' `jiwawawa...'
[MWD] [initial translation: `???' `jiyuyuyu']
[YS] It's . Tears are forming in his eyes ^_^;
Godai: _______
What is this dark image?! nan da sono KURAi ime--ji ha_!!
what that dark image
[MWD] Maybe picture instead of image?
[YS] Or "imagery", even.
2
Kyouko shows up, dressed for an informal outing. Mitaka smiles nervously
as Godai looks over in momentary startlement.
Kyouko:
What are you two talking nan no HANASHI desu no?
about? what talk
Mitaka:
Ha, ha, ha, nothing really... ha_ ha_ ha_, iya~~.
3
Mitaka gestures Kyouko to proceed.
Mitaka:
Go ahead over to the car... douzo oSAKI ni KURUMA he...
car to
Kyouko:
Okay... haa...
4
Kyouko looks strangely at the two over her shoulder as she leaves. Mitaka
watches, obviously waiting to get a private dig at Godai.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
p202 PW326 [TM]
1
Sure enough, Mitaka tosses off a parting shot over his shoulder as he
leaves Godai behind.
Mitaka:
If it's Otonashi-san's feelings OTONASHIsan no KIMOchi nara,
you're concerned about, 's feelings if-it-is
then, before you become kimi ga ICHININMAEni narumadeni,
independent, you (S) come-of-age by-the-time
I'll sort them out, you'll see. tokihogushite miseru sa.
unravel-(and) you'll-see
[TM] [initial translation: As for Otonashi-san's feelings, they'll
have changed, by the time you're an adult.]
[CHN] It's that last part that throws me. I've only found one listing
for ... This is my very wild stab:
OTONASHI-san no KIMOchi nara,
's feelings if-it-is
If it's Otonashi-san's feelings you're concerned about...
kimi ga ICHININ MAE ni naru made ni,
you (S) come-of-age/become-independent by-the-time/before
...then, before you become independent...
tokihogushite miseru sa.
unravel-(and) show/let-see
...I'll unravel them and show you.
Even if that's right (and I doubt it), it could be worded
better... ^_^;;
[YS] is literally "to unravel", but in this case it
refers to her feelings, to sort of loosen them up, so that
she opens up to Mitaka.
...And the <... miseru> isn't supposed to be literally "show
you". It's more like the "..., you'll see." ending in English.
For example, "The Bulls will win the NBA championship, you'll
see" ^_^.
I think it looks fine, except maybe for the "unravel" that sounds
a bit odd (it sounds more like Mitaka's trying to find Kyoko's
secret ^_^), as well as the part.
[CHN] Well, her feelings is what I meant by "unravel them". So it's
not "unravel her feelings" as in "get to the root of her
feelings"? It's like "puzzle them out" or "sort out her feelings"?
If it's Otonashi-san's feelings you're concerned about...
...then, before you become independent...
...I'll sort them out, you'll see.
Mitaka:
`Bye!' `jya'
[TM] [initial translation: `teary-eyed' `jiwa']
[MWD] Hmmm... He doesn't look teary-eyed in that panel... Onomatopoeia
is so difficult to translate...
[CHN] You sure that isn't a = bye!
[YS] It is.
2
Mitaka strides triumphantly towards the car, his right hand up in the
Takahashi pose (thumb, index and pinky extended). Ichinose is in the
passenger seat of the car, banging on the horn, while Kyoko waits quietly
beside it.
Ichinose:
Hurry, hurry, Mitaka-san!! MITAKAsa--n, HAYAkuHAYAku--!!
SFX: (Ichinose)
`plump!' `doka'
[TM] [initial translation: `whump' (for the door closing)]
[CHN] Or a slapstick 'whump'? I dunno. It's just that the door is open.
[YS] This is the "sound" of her making a place for herself
comfortably in Mitaka's car. Often used with people (especially
big ones) that make themselves comfortable, to the discomfort of
others ^_^;
[CHN] Oh, so it's a "plump!" Like someone falling on a pillow.
SFX: _____
`BEEP, BEEP' `Pappa---'
SFX: (Mitaka)
`slip!' `zuruu_'
[TM] [initial translation: `stride']
[CHN] 'SLIDE!' or 'SLIP!'
As in, he almost goes into a pratfall, I think.
[YS] Yup. I guess he beging to stride towards the car, until he
sees Ichinose where she shouldn't be. The "Takahashi Pose" is a
result of that, as well ^_^.
3
Mitaka grins nervously at Ichinose who's spoiling his plans for a quiet
ride alone with Kyoko. She grins right back at him.
Mitaka:
What? Are you coming too, are--_, ICHInoSEsanmo irassharun
what also come
Ichinose-san? desuka--?
Ichinose:
Why, such a glum face! nandai, sono yanaKAO!
why such bad face
[TM] [initial translation: Why are you looking so glum!?]
[CHN] Or: Why, such an unpleasant face!
Ohh, such an unpleasant look!
4
Godai looks out the front door at the scene on the street. Souichirou looks
back at Godai, as does his mistress. Mitaka continues to be embarrassed by
Ichinose.
Godai:
(Shiiiit...that self-confident (kusso~~ MITAKAnoYAROU JISHINarigeni...)
shit bastard self-confident
bastard Mitaka...)
[CHN] What is ?? Can't find it anywhere. Or if it's
something to do with , I can't break it down further.
[YS] It's == "to have" + == "feel/air/sign".
would be close to "with a confident look/feel".
I think Thomas' original translation fits perfectly fine.
[CHN] So, you take the form of a verb, lop off the and
tack on a <-ge ni>? V-ge ni = with-the-feel-of-V'ing ?
____________
(He's gonna be going overboard in (tenisuko--tode KUCHITOkimakuru
wooing her at the tennis court, tennis court at mouth explain
isn't he?) KIdana~~.)
feeling isn't it.
[TM] [initial translation: (So he thinks he can explain it all to her
at the tennis court does he?)
[CHN] ===> = totally-
seduce/woo/persuade
My guess would be:
(It feels like (I get the impression that) he's really wooing
her at the tennis court, huh.)
...that he's going overboard in wooing her at the tennis court,
huh.)
[YS] The refers to Mitaka's intentions. As in:
(He's gonna be going overboard in wooing her at the tennis
court, isn't he?)
SFX: (Souichirou) __ __ __
`pant pant pant' `he_ he_ he_'
SFX: (Mitaka)
`chuckle chuckle' `ha_ ha_ ha'
5
Close up on an angry Godai, with flames swirling around his head in the
background.
Godai:
(I'm not gonna let him do that.) (so~~ha saseruka.)
that let do
[TM] [initial translation: (Are you going to let him do that?)]
[YS] The is more of a rhetorical, as in "I'm not gonna
let him do that!"
____________
(I'll march over to the tennis (oremo tenisuko--toni NOriKonde...)
court, too, and...) I also tennis court march-into
[TM] [initial translation: (I'll ride to the tennis court as well...)]
[CHN] = get-into-(a-car), go-on-board; arrive-at, enter,
march-into
and the Vte implies an "and..."
So maybe:
(I'll arrive at the tennis court, too, and...)
(I'll hop a ride to the tennis court, too, and...)
[YS] But in this case, it has nothing to do with him possibly going
in a car. The "march into" is the closest implication.
Nitpick, but should be .
[CHN] (I'll march over to the tennis court, too, and...)
6
Kyoko has come back to Godai lurking at the door. She looks at him
sympathetically. He's wide-eyed with surprise.
Kyoko:
Godai-san. GODAIsan.
Godai:
Hunh? ha?
SFX: (Kyoko goes back to him)
`step step step' `to to to'
[TM] [initial translation: `shuffle shuffle']
[CHN] brisk steps?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
p203 PW327 [YS]
1
Closeup of Kyoko looking up at Godai.
Kyoko: _[kyabare--]_
Please go straight to the massugu oSHIGOTO ni Itte
cabaret. kudasai ne.
[YS] Or "Please go straight to work"?
[CHN] I'd say go with the furigana. Isn't that the way we're supposed
to "read" the kanji? So I always assumed that was what the
character was actually saying...
2
Godai looks back at Kyoko as if she were a psychic.
SFX (heartbeat): ____
`thump' `doki...'
Godai:
Wh... he...
3
Godai has his hand behind his neck, and is sweating. Kyoko continues to
read Godai's mind.
Kyoko: _______ ______
Don't be sneaking over to the koso koso tennisu ko--to nozoki ni
tennis court to peek. ____
KItari shicha dame desu yo.
[YS] [initial translation: Don't be sneakily coming to the tennis
court to peek.]
[CHN] Perhaps:
Don't be sneaking over to the tennis court to peek.
Godai:
O... of course not, i_, iya da naa, KANRININ-san.
Kanrinin-san.
4
Mitaka, Kyoko, and Ichinose take off in Mitaka's car as Godai watches.
SFX: ________
`vrrrooooom' `vo------'
Godai:
(She saw straight through me.) (KANZEN ni MINUitoru na~~~.)
[YS] [initial translation: (She saw completely through me.)]
[CHN] Just a tweak suggestion:
(She saw clean right through me.)
(She saw straight through me.)
5
Godai puts his hand to his chin, and starts thinking.
Godai:
(...But still, it bugs me to (...ni shite mo KI ni naru.)
think about...)
(What that Mitaka'll start to do.) (MITAKA no yatsu, nani wo
yari dasu ka.)
[YS] [initial translation: (What Mitaka'll start to do.)]
[CHN] Very small tweak:
(What that Mitaka'll start to do.)
That is, something for the ?
6
Just then, Godai notices a hand with palm facing up in front of him...
7
...The hand is that of Yotsuya, who's appeared from nowhere, as always.
Godai is taken aback.
Godai:
Wh... na...
Yotsuya:
I am available. WATASHI ha HIMA desu kara.
[YS] I guess literally "I am bored" or "I am free", but this sounded
more like Yotsuya-san...]
[CHN] Other suggestions I'll toss up (trying to work on the "free time"
aspect):
I am unoccupied.
I am idle.
I am unengaged.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
p204 PW328 [MWD]
1
Godai glares meaningfully at Yotsuya as Yotsuya fingers the 1000 yen bill
Godai has given him.
Godai:
Please keep a close shikkari MIHAtte te kudasai yo.
watch. firmly watch give (please)
[MWD] [initial translation: Please keep a tight watch.]
[CHN] "close watch"? Same thing, I guess.
Yotsuya:
Yes, I am available. e~~, HIMA desu kara.
yes free time is because
[MWD] [initial translation: Yes, because it is my free time.]
[CHN] I guess this should match whatever is used for the previous page.
[MWD] That's fine. I totally forgot about this being used in the last
page...
2
We see the outside of a set of apartments.
Kyouko's Mother:
Then, how does next sore de ne, RAISHUU no
that being so next week
Sunday sound? NICHIYOUBI dou kashira.
Sunday how (rhet-ques)
[MWD] [initial translation: That being so, how does next Sunday sound?]
[CHN] Or perhaps just "Then..." for the . BTW, I think
this is the particle , so is like "with
that" or something...
[MWD] Yes, I believe you are correct here. "Then" fits in just as
nicely.
[CHN] I don't know how to do the unless it's like Valley talk...
Then, like, how does next Sunday sound?
[MWD] You don't. Like it or not, some mannerisms don't translate
well between Japanese and English. In these cases we have to
decide whether to translate or transliterate. Of the two, I
would go with translation. We don't want the characters to
accrue inaccurate connotations because of direct transliteration.
(Kyouko's mother as a valley girl? Ugh! :-) )
[YS] The should be taken as a whole. I don't know what
the grammatical structure behind it is, but it's the same as
, without it being Valley Girl Talk ^_^.
So I think "Then, how..." or even "So, how..." would be fine.
What do you mean, 'What'? nani tte...
what
[MWD] [initial translation: What did you say?]
Or maybe, "`What?'" if she is repeating what he said...
[YS] I would've translated it as "What do you mean, 'What'?" myself.
3
Kyouko's mother is on the phone. It looks as if she has just stopped
cleaning the house.
Kyouko's Mother:
We have to greet Mitaka-san's MITAKA-san no goRYOUSHIN ni
parents. parents
goaisatsu shinakucha.
greet
[MWD] [initial translation: Meeting with Mitaka-san's parents.]
suru -> shinai -> shinakute ha -> shinakucha, but what does it
mean here?
[CHN] V-nakucha = V-nakute wa (ikenai) = must-V
go-aisatsu shinakute wa ikenai = must-greet
We have to pay greetings to Mitaka-san's parents.
We have to pay a visit to Mitaka-san's parents.
???
[MWD] Ah, thanks. The lack of the "ikenai" threw me. Things like
this really remind me how far I have to go before I will ever
achieve some ounce of proficiency in Japanese.
[YS] I think either sounds fine, although I think just "greet" would
sound better than "pay greetings".
Kyouko's Mother:
...to [say we] leave our daughter MUSUME wo yoroshiku tte...
in their hands. daughter take-care-of
[MWD] [initial translation: ????]
I can't figure out how yoroshii takes an object this way, and
I am sure whether the space should be before the tte, or if it
is more closely associated with the yoroshiku.
[CHN] I've wondered that, too! Is it just a variation of
? That is, the ADJte form?
Ah, makes me cross-eyed anyway... ^_^ Punt!
Oh wait. Maybe it *is* the quotative . As in:
...to tell them our daughter is in their hands.
...to (say we) leave our daughter in their hands.
Or whatever " my daughter" means here.
[SH] My Japanese teacher says that "yoroshiku" really means to "take
care of" or some similar variation. So does Mangajin. Therefore
this would mean something like
Take good care of my daughter...
[MWD] That makes sense, but why is she saying this to her husband? Or
is she talking to her husband in this panel? This would seem to
make more sense if she were talking to Mitaka. Unfortunately,
unless Takahashi really screwed up the transitions, this is not
the case.
[YS] Scott's interpretation of was correct, but not the
whole line. Kyoko's mother's line here is incomplete. It
should've continued as "...yoroshiku tte iwanakucha", or
something similar.
So it is correct that the line, as we see it, is "Take good care
of my/our daughter", but that's what mom says they need to tell
the Mitakas, which is exactly what Michael points out.
As for a translation, it's really hard to come up with one unless
we add what's implied, but missing in the Japanese...
4
Kyouko's mother looks incensed as she continues talking to Kyouko's father.
Kyouko's Father: [from the phone]
Don't phone me at the office tsumaran YOU de KAISHA ni
with such trivial business! boring business office
DENWA suru na_!
don't phone
Kyouko's Mother:
What, trivial business? nani yo, tsumaranai YOU
what boring business
tte.
(quot)
5
Kyouko's father is sitting in his office. He does not look very pleased
at the moment and is shouting into the phone.
Kyouko's Father:
I don't remember giving ore ha KEKKON wo KYOKA shita
anyone permission to I marriage gave permission
marry her!
OBOe ha nai_!
remember not
Kyouko's Mother: [from the phone]
You're still that way... anta ha mada sonna...
you still that kind of
6
Kyouko's mother now looks definitely angry.
Kyouko's Mother:
Listen! ii!?
good
[MWD] [initial translation: All right!?]
[CHN] Is that okay?!
[YS] I think this is more like the equivalent in English to "Listen!"
Mitaka-san refused another omiai MITAKA-san, KYOUKO no tame ni
for Kyoko's sake! Kyouko 's sake
oMIAi KOTOwatten no yo_!
refuse
[MWD] [initial translation: Just refuse to come to Mitaka-san's omiai
with Kyouko!]
This last bit probably is not what she meant, but it made more
sense to me than a couple of other options I came up with.
Also, my dictionary has KOTOWAru instead of KOTOwaru.
[CHN] Mine says .
Umm, I'm not sure what the comma means, either. But I'm guessing
it's an "and"? Ugh. Here's my stab...
To turn down an omiai that's for Kyouko and Mitaka-san's sake!
Or maybe the order is...?
To turn down an omiai with Mitaka-san that's for Kyouko's sake!
[TM] I think this is:
Mitaka-san refused another omiai for Kyoko's sake you know!
[YS] This would be correct. To answer Craig's question, I think
the comma was just used instead of the missing "wa/ha".
Sometimes in speech, it's omitted, in place of a short pause.
[MWD] Ahh... That sounds much better. I wouldn't include the "you
know", though.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
p205 PW329 [TM]
1
Kyoko's father looks disgusted.
Kyoko's father:
That's his business. sonnano aitsuno KATTEdaro.
such guy as he pleases
[TM] [initial translation: See, he's the kind of a jerk that does
as he pleases.]
[YS] Following from the previous page, I think "That's his business",
or something similar would be better. He's referring to Mitaka
supposedly rejecting other offers for Kyoko.
2
Kyoko's mother has flames shooting from her head in the background; she's
pretty heated up herself.
Kyoko's mother:
No matter what you say, antaga douIouto,
you how say
I intend to bring this arrangement atashiwa kono HANASHI matomete
I this arrangement settle
to a happy conclusion. miseruwayo.
show
[TM] [initial translation: No matter what you say, I intend to bring
this story to a happy conclusion.]
i.e. she wants to arrange the marriage.
[YS] The really isn't a "story". An "omiai" is referred
to as an "omiai banashi". Maybe "arrangement" instead of
"story"?
[CHN] means something like "come to an
agreement", I think? Something like that? Or "come to an
arrangement"? And if this is the same as before...
I'll reach an agreement on this, (you'll see).
3
Kyoko's father holds the phone away from his ear as his wife's irate words
blast out of it.
[YS] I love how the guy coming in drops the folder ^_^.
Kyoko's mother:
Do you understand!!!! iiwane___!!
good
4
Kyoko's overhand comes swinging out of frame 5.
SFX: (racquet hitting ball) __________
`THWACK' `pako-----n'
5
Mitaka watches Kyoko hit the ball. Another couple of tennis players stand
to the side.
Mitaka:
(heh, heh, heh...) (fu_ fu_ fu...)
[TM] [initial translation: (hmm hmm hmm...) (fuffuffu...)]
[CHN] I think this is:
Heh! heh! heh...
6
Close up of Mitaka inset into the previous frame.
Mitaka:
(Indeed, (JISSAI
truth
you've made me wait a long zuiBUN MAtasare mashitayo OTONASHIsan.)
time, Otonashi-san.) so long wait made
[TM] [initial translation: I have made you wait a long time
Otonashi-san.]
[YS] This is the opposite. "Indeed, you've made me wait a long
time, Otonashi-san."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
p206 PW330 [YS]
1
Mitaka looks on with a determined face.
Mitaka:
(But now,) (shikashi mou,)
(The walls are beginning to be (SOTOBORI ha Umaritsutsu aru...)
breached.) [*not literal -- see below*]
[YS] [initial translation: (???)]
This may be footnote time. It's literally "The outer moat is
beginning to be buried..." It comes from old feudal times,
where the first step in conquering a castle is to bury the outer
moat. There's an interesing historical story about this, but
since it's not MI-related, I won't mention it.
As for a translation, I'm at a loss. Unless we go with
something simple like "Things are finally coming to an end"...]
[CHN] Well, I think such a literal meaning may not be clear, true.
But maybe you can use a similar "feudal" term, like:
The walls will begin to be breached.
The ramparts will begin to be scaled.
The moat will begin to be spanned/forded. (well, maybe
not this one... ^_^;;)
and not even have to use a footnote.
[MWD] However we translate it, I think that there _should_ be a
footnote stating the literal meaning and why it means what it does.
2
Kyoko is seen hitting a ball in the foreground. Mitaka, in the background,
is blazing with determination, literally. Other tennis club members look
over at Mitaka with curiosity.
SFX: _________
`THWACK' `pako----n'
`blaze' `gogogo...'
Mitaka:
(You're definitely not (ZETTAI ni NIgasanai...)
getting away...)
(Definitely not...) (ZETTAI ni...)
3
Someone calls out for Mitaka, and interrups his thoughts.
Club Member: _______
Hey hey, coach! chotto chotto, ko--chi!
4
Mitaka strikes a pose to feign calmness.
SFX:
`hand to hair' `sa_'
Club Member:
A new member. SHIN Iri-san desu tte.
Mitaka:
Eh... e...
5
A woman approaches Mitaka. Her face is not shown, but only her backside.
Other club members look on.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
p207 PW331 [MWD]
1
Half-page shot of Asuna-san, dressed in a very modest tennis outfit,
holding a tennis racket, and looking very shy and demure.
Asuna [softly]:
I am inexperienced, but... fututuka MONO desu ga,
inexperienced person
Asuna [softly]:
Please take me. yoroshiku oNEGAi itashimasu.
please (formal)
[MWD] I know how "yoroshiku onegai shimasu" is used, and I have a
fairly good idea what it means, but I am at a loss as to how to
translate this ritual phrase into English.
[BF] To me the closest literal translation would seem to be:
please regard me favorably.
but that is a bit stilted in English (if clear in meaning). More
natural would be:
Asuna [softly]:
please accept me. yoroshiku oNEGAi itashimasu.
do this favor please (formal)
Thinking about it, there is an ambiguity of the sentence
regarding whether she is talking about the tennis club or the
arranged marriage - something apparently not lost on Mitaka-san.
Ever get the impression that Asuna-san is passive-aggressive? ^_^
[CHN] Arg... again...
Maybe just cheat and do it as "Pleased to meet you." ??
Ah, punt!
[YS] I agree that the literal shouldn't be considered.
I like Benjamin's suggestion of "Please regard me favorably" as
something close to the original, but I doubt it's something a
person here would say when joining a club.
I was going to suggest "Please take it easy on me", which, in
meaning would be somewhat close. But that's not something a
person like Asuna-san would say. It's more like a tongue-in-
cheek sort of comment, IMHO.
If nobody can come up with anything better, I agree that Craig's
simple introduction may just fit the best.
[BC] Well, I'll put my oar into the river. B-)
Please treat me nicely.
Please be gentle with me.
[YS] Your oar seems to be similar to the one already put in by
Benjamin Franz. ^_^
[BC] Ooops! That's what I get for not reading all the comments
too carefully. Sorry Benjamin!! (Although of course I didn't
mean them *that* way.... ^_^;;;)
[BC] Okay okay, my one serious suggestion:
Please take me.
No, really -- it has a kind-of double meaning in this
situation, and I'm not even going to *hint* about the third
meaning I'm sure certain people are thinking about right
now.... B-)
[YS] I have *no* idea about some third meaning, but what are the
two double meanings? "take me" as his student in tennis, and
"take me" as his bride?
[BC] Exactly. I think with the other part I deleted (where she
says, "I'm inexperienced"), I think we actually translate a
double meaning Takahashi was trying to put forth in the
Japanese.
Maybe?
SFX:
`blush' `po_'
[MWD] [initial translation: `???']
[CHN] Her blush.
Or the sound from the "furnace" of her blush kicking in?
[YS] ^_^
You have such a great way of phrasing things, Craig ^_-
2
Mitaka-san, smile frozen on his face, looks like he has just seen a ghost.
3
Mitaka-san looks in horror at Asuna-san, drops his racket, and leaps as far
away from her as he can, in a defensive pose.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
p208 PW332 [TM]
1
A deafening silence roars across the frame. Mitaka cowers before the
apparition of Asuna. Ichinose and the other students are bug-eyed at
Mitaka's reaction.
SFX:
`SILENCE' `sh----n'
2
Feigning innocence, Ichinose reveals her contribution to the membership
drive. While Asuna fidgets, Mitaka blushes and perspiration starts running
down his cheeks.
Ichinose:
It seems like a great surprise. erai ODOROkiyou janai.
great surprise not
[TM] [initial translation: Isn't it a great surprise?]
[CHN] Of course, I don't know the storyline here, but does Ichinose
know who Asuna is at this point? I had some idea she didn't.
My guess is that it isn't a question, so my stab is:
erai ODOROki you ja nai.
great surprise look-like
It appears to be a great surprise.
[YS] Or, simply, "It seems like a great surprise".
Mitaka:
How... do_...
SFX:
`fidget fidget' `moji moji'
3
Asuna bows her head as Mitaka tries to make small talk.
Mitaka:
How have you been do-o-oing, dounasattan desukaa~~, ASUNAsan.
Asuna-san? how become
4
Kyoko looks back in surprise.
Kyoko:
Hunh? ara_.
_hito_
That person... ano ONNA...
[TM] [initial translation: That girl...]
[YS] I know that from the perspective from the old hag, TMW,
Asuna-san is very young, but I don't think "That girl" fits...
^_^;;
[CHN] Oooo, you tell 'em, Archbishop! You da man! Pound that pulpit!
Up with Ibuki-chan! Down with Otonashi-obasan! ^_^
[YS] How about going with the furigana, "That person..." ???
[CHN] Since the furigana is the "reading" of the kanji, I agree.
5
Asuna also notices Kyoko. In the background, two other students are
whispering to each other.
Kyoko:
(It's definitely the girl with the (TASHIka INUwo tsureta...)
dogs...) certainly dog walk with
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
p209 PW333 [YS]
1
Asuna and Kyoko bow to each other. Mitaka is still in shock.
SFX (Asuna):
`bow' `peko'
SFX (Kyoko):
`bow' `peko'
2
Mitaka is sweating, and ominous swirls form in the background.
Caption:
The arrangement was supposed HADAN ni natta hazu na no ni
to be cancelled
...supposed to be cancelled hazu na no ni
...supposed to be cancelled hazu na no ni
...supposed to be cancelled hazu na no ni
...supposed to be cancelled hazu na no ni
...supposed to be cancelled hazu na no ni
...celled ...celled ...celled no ni no ni no ni
[YS] Any better suggestion for doing this? ^_^;
[CHN] Umm. Stand in an echo chamber, Yutaka! ^_^
It looks good.
[BC] Well, considering that the "to be cancelled" part is implied,
how about putting that in brackets? Something like,
...supposed [to be cancelled] hazu na no ni
[CHN] "Implied"? Umm, isn't it coming from the =
"become broken off" = "become cancelled"?
I think it's fine without brackets, actually.
[BC] Yes, but "cancelled" is not explicitly a part of "hazu na no ni,"
which is why I suggested putting it in brackets....
[CHN] OK, now I see what you're aiming for, but still, there's nothing
"implied" about it. The meaning is there. (To put it in brackets
is to say that it wasn't said at all--but was *going* to be said.
At least, that's how I view brackets in a translation.)
[BC] Ah, this is where our divergence lies. I view brackets as
something that wasn't said in the Japanese, but allows the
translation to make more sense if it's in there. This is
slightly different from something which was expected to have
been said, although that is included in my definition
implicitly. Another example might be,
o-yobi ni narimashita ka?
Did [you] call [me]?
I suppose you could make a case that someone *might* say,
otaku ha, watakushi ni o-yobi ni narimashita ka?
or some such humble equivalent, although I think this would
sound a little strange.
[CHN] As for bracketing because the ending part of the English line
doesn't map precisely to the ending part of the Japanese line...
Well, I think you could go seriously cross-eyed if you tried
breaking down the English in the same word order as the Japanese.
Even once in a while. As you know, the languages just don't work
the same way.
[BC] I understand, but I've always treated these translations as a
learning opportunity for beginners like me. It's bad enough
that there isn't even always a vague 1-to-1 mapping of the
languages, but at least in this case, there's a chance to make
it clear that there's no word in "hazu na no ni" that translates
to "cancel." (Of course, with the "H" translation method, one
needn't worry about this kind of confusion. B-)
[CHN] In my opinion, the best way to do this is to translate the whole
sentence into English, then echo the ending part of the English
line. Which, of course, is what Sasagawa-sempai did. If there
were something to be gained by pointing out that the echo is
"should have been, but..." etc, then maybe we should do
bracketing, but I don't think there's any significance there.
I see it as just the whole line bonging around in his head.
[BC] Okay, I'll go on record as saying I think the whole thing
*wouldn't* be bonging around in his head. If nothing else, you
could give it a literal translation, "has to/must have been...."
It makes sense, doesn't need brackets, and would be the kind of
sentence fragment that would resound in his head as his world
crumbles around him temporarily. B-)
3
Mitaka takes Asuna to the side for a word. The other tennis club members
look on and speculate.
SFX (club members):
`whisper whisper' `hiso hiso'
`mumble mumble' `koso koso'
[YS] `koso koso' is actually more like `sneakily sneakily'...
[CHN] 'secretly secretly' ??
Mitaka:
Um, ano,
Asuna-san. ASUNA-san.
One moment... chotto...
[YS] [initial translation: Could I have a moment...]
Is there a way to shorten this while keeping the meaning?
[CHN] Maybe:
One moment...
Could I...
Asuna:
Yes. hai.
4
Mitaka looks down at Asuna.
Mitaka:
That time, I thought you'd ano TOKI TASHIka wakatte kudasatta no
understood... de ha...
Asuna:
Yes. hai.
5
Asuna looks down, brings her hand to her face, and blushes.
SFX (Asuna):
`blush' `po_'
Asuna:
You told me that, KIRAi de ha nai... to,
You didn't hate me... Itte kudasai mashita.
[YS] Sentence inverted.
6
As Asuna continues, Mitaka shivers, making the "Takahashi pose" with his
hands. Other tennis club members look on.
Asuna:
That time, if you had told ano TOKI "KIRAi da" to Iwarete itara,
me "I hate you",
I would have died. WATAKUSHI ha SHInde imashita.
[YS] Does someone that's seen the anime know if Asuna refers to herself
as "watashi" or "watakushi"? I guessed on the latter.
[KSL] Since no else addressed this.... She does refer to herself as
"watakushi" in the anime.
SFX (Mitaka):
`SSHHIIVVEERR' `zowawa~~~'
SFX (other club members):
`hey, I can't hear' `chotto, kikoenai wa yo'
`whisper whisper whisper' `hiso hiso hiso'
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
p210 PW334 [MWD]
1
Ichinose-san pounds her fist into her hand.
Ichinose-san:
Ah, a_,
I remember. OMOiDAshita.
remember
Ichinose-san:
Now that I recognize her... MIOBOe aru to OMOttara,
rememberance exists think (cond)
[MWD] [no initial translation]
[CNH] Stabbing away...
MIOBOe aru to OMOttara,
remember/(can)-recognize when-think-that
Now that I recognize her...
Ichinose-san:
...she's the girl in the omiai MIAi SHASHIN da.
picture. photo
[MWD] [no initial translation]
[CHN] MIAi SHASHIN da.
omiai-picture is
...she's the girl in the omiai picture.
[MWD] Oops, thanks. I threw this one off pretty quickly and didn't
realize that I hadn't finished translating it. :-<
2
Ichinose-san speaks to Kyouko, as the other members of the tennis club
watch the unfolding drama.
Ichinose-san: _______
Hey, it's coach's omiai hora_, ko--chi no MIAi no
partner. coach
AITE da yo.
partner is
Kyouko:
eh? e...
SFX:
`stir' `doyo_'
3
Kyouko looks over at Asuna and Mitaka. Mitaka is facing Asuna and has his
back to Kyouko. He is sweating profusely. Asuna notices Kyouko over
Mitaka's shoulder.
Asuna:
...... ......
...... ......
Kyouko:
...... ......
...... ......
4
Asuna-san, panel right, looking left. (Panel borders are dotted.)
SFX:
`smile' `niko'
5
Kyouko, panel left, looking right. (Panel borders are dotted.)
Kyouko:
...... ......
...... ......
SFX:
`smile' `niko'
6
Near the fence, several of the tennis club members are whispering to each
other. In the middle we see one of the members talking to Yotsuya-san, who
is behind the fence, looking as if he were watching a movie or a drama,
eating something.
[CHN] senbei?
SFX:
`whisper whisper' `hiso hiso'
Yotsuya:
And how will this turn out...? dou naru n deshou nee.
how become
[MWD] [initial translation: And what will become of this?]
[CHN] Maybe:
How will this turn out...?
[MWD] I like your translation much better than mine. However, it
is my opinion that if you put an "and" in front, it contains
more of the "n deshou"-ness.
SFX:
`crunch crunch crunch' `pari pari pari'
Club Member:
Looks interesting, huh. omoshirosou nee.
looks interesting
[MWD] [initial translation: It looks to be interesting.]
[CHN] My offering...
Looks interesting, huh.
===============================================================================
(
geocities.com/SunsetStrip)