The Web Page for the Verbally Challenged

Hey YOU.

Yeah...you with the face. Lemme ask you somethin'. Didja ever, like, try to say something to someone and, like...you knew what you were, um... thinking, but you were having a hard time being...being...um...what's the word....um...eloquent? Yeah that's it... If not, then GET THE HECK OUTTA HERE. You don't belong here, so just beat it, ok? You shouldn't be on the internet anyway, cuz you have some kind of social skills, so you may as well use 'em, ya debutante you...GO 'WAY. If you do understand, then by golly, welcome, you poor soul. We understand and love you here, and we want to help.

Having a mind-fart?

Next time, turn to The Web Page for the Verbally Challenged!

Our researchers have been working day and night to compile useful and interesting words for YOU! That's right, little old you. Because we know what a hassle it is when, after a long day of surfing the net, someone walks up to you and tries to start a conversation. Next to impossible, isn't it? And its a trifle embarassing, too. Sure. Our purpose is to be your online aide in communicating like a person in the real world. Choose from any word on this page...anytime, anywhere...at no extra cost! That's right, every word on this page can be used by you in any context you choose, FREE FREE FREE! Put 'em on your web page...use 'em with the wife and kids...toss a few around in the office...won't they be surprised...AND IMPRESSED when they'd left you for brain dead long ago. Its the new you...or so they think...!

Choose from...

AND...as an added service to you, the verbally challenged, we've composed ReadyMade sentences for you to memorize and use at the drop of a hat.

Take a look at these success stories! Real people, who have used this page as a resource...and have gotten REAL RESULTS!

Subjects...predicates...phrases...who gives a rat's arse? We'll do it all for you! Because why bother with words...really? Life is just too doggone short, especially with the radiation from your computer screen, and there's lots of stuff out there to download!

Next time you're in a mid-sentence jam, remember that the Web Page for the Verbally Challenged is here for you.

24 hours a day
7 days a week,
and bank holidays too,
we're the only web page
that's dedicated to YOU!

copyright 1996 Umlaut Schwa Productions.

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