THE A-Z OF GRINSPOON

THE A-Z OF GRINSPOON

This A-Z of GRINSPOON first appeared in the May 1998 edition of JUICE magazine. All copyright and other legal details belong to them.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

A - Australian audiences

Phil: Queensland's huge, they really love live music, they really get into it.

Joe: But they also go crazy and spastic.

P: They're a bit psychotic up there, whereas in NSW they're a bit more laidback. Victoria's the Posh Spice of the lot, NSW, she's sporty and Queensland's definitely Scary Spice.

J: Queensland could be Ginger Spice.

P: Well, she's their type.

B - Biffo

P: Me and Joe, we're the ones always touchy about stuff, everyone else couldn't give a fuck. But one night Kris was really trying to beat me up and you saved me but I just beat you up anyway.

J: Well, I got what I deserved, I shouldn't have got involved in a fight. It was our first gig on this tour with The Screaming Jets and the Celibate Rifles and we were really stressed out. I guess we were trying to impress people with wild rock & roll behaviour after a gig so it worked out to our advantage really.

P: Same with The Angels thing really. The Angels tried to beat us up at this gig.

J: We called them fat old cunts and that's why they wanted to beat us up.

C - Conspiracy theories

P: We love conspiracy theories. Everything's always broken down into a paranoid fantasy, like genuinely worrying about cops and how much drugs we've got on us and we're going to get fucked up at this airport trying to get in. They're the standard ones, but then there's a band in Australia full of undercover police, posing and getting their songs written for them, and I know who they are.

D - Diana

J: I didn't grieve for Diana as much as Dodi, that hit me really hard. I reckon Diana killed herself, she was in there working on the brakes.

P: I reckon British Intelligence.

J: No, it was more simple than that. Apparently there's photos of her under the car earlier in the day on one of those rolling things, in overalls, with a spanner hanging out of her mouth.

E - Employment

J: I think Kris got sacked from every job he's had under dodgy circumstances. He did a few travel rorts; got busted by the big cheese for spending the tax-payers' money.

P: I'm going to try not to work a day in my life. If Grinspoon had broken up I would have to have a day job. I'd work in a video shop, I like videos and computer games.

F - Falls festival

P: We all got a bit too drunk and it was kind of disastrous in the way that we were lying all over the ground.

J: You know when someone gets drunk and everyone goes, 'Oh, you were so funny when you were drunk,' it was like that. We felt physically embarrassed. It was such a big gig and we were so looking forward to it but we inadvertently got pissed.

P: And we were on at 1am in the morning. But people were laughing, we were the party drunks. It was funny, lying on stage and then Joe falls over.

J: I fell over at that gig too.

G - Gravity

J: I fell over on stage the other night, that was embarrassing.

P: So did I, I fell on the stage.

J: I fell off the stage, the back of it.

P: Oh yeah.

J: When Pat busted his knee it wasn't actually at a gig. He was trying to get off the couch to change the channel, I think.

P: I've heard many variations of how he busted his knee, it had something to do with a couch...

J: But what he was actually reaching for, we don't know.

H - Homophobia

J: Say it's a real macho crowd and all the guys get their shirts off, we tend to act more sort of...

P: Gay.

J: Gay and camp. And that really gets to them because they've come along and spent all their money and probably bought a CD and T-shirt, then they look at the band and think, 'Oh my god they're gay.'

P: You know, just those front-row people.

I - Intrigue

P: I was scared at Homebake because Superjesus were always harassing us.

J: Superjesus were just so mean to us, you wouldn't believe it.

P: They were fighting us and their manager hates us.

J: We tried to be friendly, we put the olive branch out.

P: They're all fucking Christians anyway and I hate their shit.

J - Jams

J: A song can be stupid and fun but it's not going to end up on a record. We have our little experimental latin jams. And you can put in your little ideas that you can't in a Grinspoon song, to muck around with.

K - Kids

P: Kids can sometimes be a little difficult.

J: They're not as drunk and they can tell if you're fudging it.

P: Love the kids!

L - Living End

J: No one else likes them in the band and now I will defend them unmercifully no matter what they do. They're my fucking band, you don't be talking about Living End like that, son.

P: Fuck the Living End!

J: Fuck off then, they're fucking good, don't be dissing them.

P: So everyone's got their favourite Australian band. It's more fun to hate them.

M - Movie

P: I've been working on it with the guy that I live with. It's called Holden Kingswood, they're two private detectives. It's kinda a Pulp Fiction-type shoot'em up thing but the deal is someone's selling videos at the pub for $80 bucks.

J [nodding]: Stolen video racket going on.

P: Down at the pub mate. Wazza's trying to sell Biffo the fucking video player, Holden Kingswood comes in, action scene [Makes shooting noises].

J: I think we're doing a pilot first up.

P: I want to be Kingswood.

N - New moves

J: After you play the song like a hundred times, you can just think about what the mood you're playing suggests.

P: Should I do a pelvic thrust?

J: On stage when you do a new move it's scary but eventually you get it right.

O - Old People

P: I don't mind if we lose that teenage demographic, old people have money as well. It's nice that all the kids buy the records but the next record's definitely going to be aimed more at that Midday Show market.

J: More big band style.

P: We've taken all the kids money, we want the old people's money and old American people's money.

P - Playing under the influence

P: I find that playing under the influence of marijuana can be very relaxing.

J: I find my fingers can't move.

P: Joe's just not a very good bass player, you see. Playing under the influence of ecstasy is pretty amazing because you just morph in the middle of the gig and become a pool of water on the floor.

J: Me and Kris, the rhythm section, don't get stoned before we play because we're such a tight unit. I don't want to let that kind of thing compromise my show.

P: Oh yeah, you're such musical perfectionists.

Q - Questionable driving

J: When we were driving down we had a Footloose-style drive-off. Pat got a Dodge and we were in a Tarago and Kris thought the Tarago would go faster than the Dodge so he went to overtake Pat.

P: And it then works out that they could both go at exactly the same speed.

J: So, it got to about160km an hour and Kris is on the wrong side of the highway and we were all in the Tarago starting to get a little bit nervous. Pat is in the Dodge with his foot to the floor and he wasn't giving an inch so we're just there side by side going, 'Oh fuck'. We passed him, then got around the corner, and there was some cops. Kris locked the brakes and slowed down and we just waved to the cops.

P: We don't go around drag-racing.

J: We're very safe drivers. That was a very isolated incident.

R - Rock & roll

P: Sometimes it's just nice to play gigs where the audience hates you.

S - Same songs

P: We have started to play songs we usually don't play because we're bored shitless with the other ones.

T - Tour regime

J: We go out the night before the tour begins and get really, really pissed.

P: Just get as wasted as possible the night before the gig, because anything you manage to do is fucking great.

J: It's the old J curve. If you go down straight away, then you come up higher in the end. Paul Keating taught us that. The recession we had to have.

U - Useless groupies

P: People just hang around and they're kind of boring. They won't come up and introduce themselves. They just sit in the corner and talk amongst themselves and you just eventually kick them out. I don't know why people do that. Why would you want to go hang out with people you've never met, unless you're trying to sell them drugs?