PAUL ISN'T DEAD...
He's alive and well and working as watch salesman!
It's true! And there are many clues to support it, taken from album covers and Beatles' songs!

1) Abbey Road-On the cover Paul holds his coat open, in the manner a watch salesman would, if the lining of his coat where covered with watches! And he holds his cigarette in his watch hand (as shown by the cover of Help!)

2) Help!-On the cover Paul is wearing a watch. So is Ringo, but guess who he bought it from!

3) A Day in the Life-During Paul's part of the song there is the sound of an alarm clock...watches are a form of clock...see where I'm going with this?

4) Revolver-You can see the faces of all the Beatles (the large drawn ones), except for Paul's. This is because Paul forced them each to buy a watch from him. Ya see? Faces...clocks...watches...

5) Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (the song)-In this song we find out exactly when Paul became a watch salesman: the lyrics go

Paul was born in 1942. Sgt. Pepper's was released in 1967. So Paul had become a watch salesman at the ripe old age of 5.

6) Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band-In the song "She's Leaving Home" Paul talks about the different times things happen, which wouldn't be possible if he didn't have a watch. (Thanks to Nickel in New Jersey)

7) Paul McCartney-Paul McCartney (born James P. McCartney) was a bass player for a '60s band called the Beatles, recently released the album Flaming Pie, is married and knows a guy named Ringo. How much more obvious can you get?


If you have any more information about the "Paul Sells Watches" theory please e-mail it to me.

The previous article is, of course, a complete joke. Please do not believe it. I don't want to be responsible for another Paul rumour. (You'd really be surprised...)Again, this is just a joke!
By Wayne Kreger 07/14/97