Bo's April Fools Joke…



From: Farris-Watters,Audrey
Sent: Wednesday, April 01, 1998 4:05 PM
To: Dan Watters; 'Dad'

Dad,
Hi. You might want to print this out, as I am sure Mom will want to read it as well, maybe even Diana , Amanda and Jacob should read it too.
I've hesitated for about 4 weeks in sending this as I knew your disapointment and shock would be great, but I wanted to make sure I used just the right words.
Well, there is no other way to say this so I should just come right out and tell you that I got married a month ago. It was a spur of the moment thing, but Ricky and I just knew that we were meant to be together and didn't want to wait a moment longer. With all the trauma in my life he is like a shelter in stormy weather. I think you will really like your new son in law. He and I met at a local club in February when his band, The Charming Idiots was headlining a show and I went back stage to get them to sign thier newest CD "Buttnuggett". I knew the second I looked at him that this guy was special. We have been inseperable ever since. When he is not playing gigs, or traveling, he writes music and works as a delivery person for Pizza Hut. He is a little younger than I am, he's 22, but you wouldn't know it by looking at him. He has the maturity to tackle all the many things in life and head a brand new household. He is very close to his family as well. His Mom, Barb works as a cocktail waitress in Miami FL, and his Dad, even though serving a life sentance in Levenworth for running over the garbage man( he was sleep walking and didn't realize what he was doing and got in his car, it's a shame that they locked him up) remains close to his family. They all write and visit him a few times a year. I am really looking forward to going out there and meeting him. Ricky has two younger brothers and four sisters and all but one son, David, live at home with his Mom. No one really knows where David went off to, they think he might be somewhere in Eastern Europe working on animal-human cross breeding projects.
Don't worry about us, we are going to be fine, really perfect. I love this guy more and more every day. Tomorrow we are going to go and get tatoos, I am getting one of the Buttnuggetts logo - a rear end with a shiny gold nuggett perched on one butt cheek, and he is getting a Winnie The Pooh ......Isn't that the sweetest. We decided that because he travels so much, I should quit my job here at AMS to travel with the band and help load equipment at each show and sell the promotional stuff, T-shirts, CD's bumper stickers, things like that. It would help them out a lot , and as I know a lot of people at radio stations all over the US, I should be able to get their new single, "Burning for you like a hemorroid" some air play here and there.
I want to let you know that we will be in Southern California in two weeks and I suggested your place as a great place to crash with the band for a couple of nights. There are only 7 of us all together and it will be a lot of fun. I can't wait for you to meet Ricky and the rest of the guys in the band, oh and Tripps, the only girl. I don't really know what she does, she kind of moans a lot in a couple of songs, but the rest of the time, she pretty much keeps to herself, sits in a corner and chants or reads a lot of L.Ron Hubbard books I've noticed. The Other guys in the band are Hujbard-the drummer, he doesn't speak any english, Ripp and Tim Dredd- basist and rythym guitar, Curly (actually he's bald and really cool and can blow bubbles with a pipe in his rear end-mabey he'll show you while we are there) who is the banjo player, and finally there is Sir Rox who is back up vocals. At 6'5" and from Cuba, he is a very imposing figure, but tame as a pussy cat.
Well folks, I guess thats about it. I wish there were someway to explain how truly happy I am. He makes my little world complete and just makes me as happy as anything. We are staying at my house for the next month, until we get back from the southern calif. tour. so you can call us there. Ricky would love to talk to you. Well when he isn't resting his voice. I'll send pictures of the wedding as soon as I get them back from the lab, it was small, at a local pub that he goes to with the band. It's where they played their very first gig, so it seemed appropriate. I can't wait to get the one that was taken of Ricky standing on the table after playing quarters....It was pretty funny. I am going to have it blown up and framed and I'll send you a copy.
I need to get going. Ricky uses the Honda for his delivery runs in the evening so I should get home. I miss you guys. Hello to Grandma for me.
I'll talk to you all soon,

Love Always,
Audrey
PS, my new last name is Watters-Dorfensteiner

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