Description: Fun - disturbing - sick- weird - whatever you want to call it!
Authors' note: Hi! Aphy and Gabie here - Yes, yes, *the* Gabie from MIB! We decided to write some BSB fan fiction together . . . and well . . . this is definitely fiction! There are a few notes that Gabie has insisted we comment on, ie. Have you ever noticed how Kevin talks really, really slow and how he rocks back and forth when he talks? You'll want to keep this in mind as you read the story. And yes, we do know that Brian is not obsessed with sex. Being a frog does these things to you (if you know what we mean)! Anyway - enjoy!
Hop right on in!
Dee and her friend Kyla ran through the forest in a heated chase.
"Give them back, you bitch!" Dee shouted at her friend.
"Never!" Kyla screamed in return. She darted around a tree and continued to sprint down the winding dirt trail. Kyla quickly glanced over her shoulder to see her friend in hot pursuit.
Dee's eyes went wide. "Look out!"
Boom! "Well there goes the neighborhood," Dee muttered, coming to a stop. Kyla lay dazed and confused on the ground in front of a large oak tree. Just then, a frog high jumped out from behind the tree.
"Bombs away!" Yelled a sweet Kentucky accent.
"Wait . . . for . . . me . . . partner!" A deep and very slow voice called after him.
The first frog landed directly on Kyla's chest. "Soft landing zone!" The frog told his buddy. He looked up at Kyla with his ocean blue eyes. "Sorry for trespassing on private areas!" He smiled at her, waving his little, green frog leg. "But I've got to work on my jumping skills! Not that I'm complaining . . ." He added, glancing around his landing zone.
The second frog, being slightly more muscular, made a clear jump from a nearby stump, landing smack dab in the middle of Dee's face with a ‘whomp'. Dee fell straight back and whacked her head on the ground, leaving her unconscious.
"S . H . I . T . . !" The second frog cried slowly. The first frog sat up on Kyla's chest.
"You killed her!" He accused his friend.
"I . . . did . . . not!" The frog snapped back. "She . . . was . . . just . . . knocked . . . out . . .by . . . my . . . frogly . . . physique!"
"Right!" The first frog rolled his eyes sarcastically. Just then, Kyla popped her head back up. She screamed and jumped to her feet.
"Ahhhhhh!" The first frog fell back and landed upside down on the ground. He wiggled around in pain. "Ahh! You! I think she broke my back Kev!"
Kyla looked down at the frogs. She touched her hand to her head. "Whoa! I'm seeing frogs!" She muttered to herself. "Spots I've heard of - but frogs? And perverted frogs at that!"
"He's...the...one...that's...perverted!" The green Kevin frog told her.
"I am not!" His friend told her indignantly. "I said I was sorry!"
Kyla shook her head. "Yeowzerrs! Since when do frogs talk?"
"Since Brian started forcing truffles down my throat!" The Kevin frog spat. He made a digging motion with his little, green frog leg. "Sniff! Sniff! Sniff!" He snorted. "Snuffling for truffles!"
"You know you wanted them!" The Brian frog grinned at him. He had flipped himself over and was staring up at Kyla. "Say! What's a pretty girl like you doing in an enchanted forest like this?"
Kyla sighed, resigning herself to the fact that these frogs were not going to simply go away. She knelt beside the Brian frog. "What are you taking about? This is just a park, there's nothing enchanted about it," She told him. The frog gave her a doubtful look, but let her continue. Kyla reached into her pocket and pulled out two tickets to the Backstreet Boys concert that night. "I was trying to hold on to these," She said, lowering the tickets to the ground so he could take a look at them. "My friend Dee wanted to keep them but I grabbed them and - Oh my God! Dee!" She cried, finally noticing her friend lying unconscious on the ground.
"Wait! I kind of know CPR!" Brian shouted, anxious for a chance to help out. He hopped on to Dee's chest.
"You perverted frog!" Kyla yelled, shooing him off her friend's bosom. "Dee! Dee!" She shook her friend. "Wake up! Dee!"
"It's . . . okay," The Kevin frog told Kyla. "She's still breathing! I'm sure she'll be fine! But we need your help right now!"
Kyla stopped shaking her friend and gave the frog a disbelieving look. "You expect me to help you while my friend is lying on her death bed? You're frogs for God's sake!"
"Exaggerate much?" Brian asked. He plopped a leaf onto his head and grabbed a tiny twig. "Your friend is going to be okay!" He cried leaping into a song and dance. "I say! She's going to be okay! She's going to be okay! Hi ho the froggio! She's going to be okay!" He stopped singing. "We, on the other hand, are going to be late for our concert if we don't get unfroginized soon!"
Kyla released her friend. "Unfroginized? What are you talking about? What concert?"
Kevin gave a slight sigh, for a frog. "This...is...gonna...take...a...long...time...to...explain . . ."
"Well, I gathered that," Kyla rolled her eyes. "It took you long enough to get that much out!"
Brian gave her a frogly smile. "Don't mind my slow talking friend," He told her. "I'll give you the low down!" The Brian frog began his tale. "It all started out when Kevin and I decided to go for a walk to get a break from the sound check. We were just strolling through the woods and we decided to take a rest in this nice, green clover patch. We sat down and started just jabbering away when Kevin noticed a box of Black Magic, as in the chocolates, still wrapped, sitting in the grass. Well, being the chocoholic that he is, Kevin tore the box open and began wolfing down truffles -"
"Brian!" Kevin cut in. "You're the one who dove for the box before I even laid eyes on it!"
"Me - you - what's the diff?" The Brian frog wondered. "Anywho - on with my story! Soon we were both chomping down the chocolate like there was no tomorrow, when poof! Frogs we are! Frogs we be!"
"And we have a concert to get to tonight!" Kevin added, looking into Kyla's eyes.
Kyla stared at the frog in disbelief. "And you expect me to believe that?" She asked. The frogs gave her a look. "Okay, okay," Kyla muttered, realizing the fantastic nature of the situation she was in. "But how can I possibly help you? And why would I even want to?"
Brian raised his eyes at her. "We can make it worth your while . . ." He told her. "I noticed your Backstreet Boys seats are in row X on the second mezzanine - being Backstreet Boys ourselves, we could score you some much better seats. Front row, plus backstage passes and maybe dinner for you and your cute friend." The frog grinned up at her.
Kyla's eyes went wide. She sat back a little. "This is not happening, this is not happening, this is not happening, this is not happening," She rocked back and forth, closing her eyes and chanting.
Brian looked over at his cousin. "See your not the only one who knows how to rock." He glanced back at Kyla. "Cheer up sweet cheeks!"
Kyla opened her eyes and glared at him. "You are not real!" She yelled at him.
"As real as you are hon," He smiled. "C'mon and help us out."
"Do...you...have...something...better...to...do . .?" Kevin asked her.
Kyla looked at him. "You mean something better than helping Backstreet Frogs become unfroginized so they can make it back to their concert on time and give my friend and I great seats?" Kyla thought for a minute. "As if . . . Where to, frogaloo?"
Kyla walked deeper and deeper into the woods, following directions from the two frogs, one on either shoulder.
"Are we there yet?" She asked.
"Yes!" Brian announced, jumping off her shoulder and flipping to the ground. He sat up and righted himself. "I just can't get used to this jumping thing."
Kevin remained seated on Kyla's shoulder. He looked around, finally spotting the empty box filled with useless, brown paper wrappers. "There...it...is..!" He told her, pointing with his little, green frog leg.
Kayla looked around for the box, finally spotting it, partially hidden behind a large, gray rock.
"Litter bugs!" She accused.
Brian gave her a look. "Litter frogs," He corrected, shoving his eyes back in his head.
"Try seeing if there are any instructions on the box," Kevin suggested.
Kyla picked up the box and looked it over. As the useless, brown paper wrappers fell out of the box, a message was revealed in green along the bottom. It read:
So, you misread my instructions and now you've turned yourself into a frog. Way to go klutz! The only way to become unfroginized is to be kissed. I know you're only a frog now, but do what you can. C'mon! Pucker up those froggy lips!
Brian read through the note as Kyla dropped the box. "You heard the box!" Brian grinned. "Pucker up!"
Kyla leaned down and picked Brian up by his stomach. She looked him in the face. His eyes were shut and his froggy lips poked out at her. Sighing, Kyla begrudgingly gave him a small peck on the lips. She drew back sputtering.
"Ugh! What have you been eating?" Kyla spat.
Brian shrugged his little frog shoulders. "A fly here, a spider there!" Kyla shuddered.
"Nothing...happened..." Kevin commented.
Just then, there was a poof of light and a frantic shout. "My chocolate! My chocolate!" The little voice squeaked. The tiny fairy whipped around their heads glaring at them. "Which one of you has been truffling for snuffles? Ah, hem - Snuffling for truffles?"
Kyla blinked at the fairy. "Well duh! The idiot frogs!"
"H-e-y!" Kevin called into her ear.
"Quiet slow talker!" Kyla snapped. She turned back to the fairy. "I followed the instructions in the box - they didn't work!"
The fairy stuck up its nose. "Hmm, hmm, you say? Most improbable! I say most impossible!" The fairy spun around her head. "Do try again!" It ordered.
Once again, Kyla stuck out her lips and gave the Brian frog a peck on the lips. Nothing happened.
"Ah! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" The little fairy flipped over in giggles. "Tongue! Tongue! More tongue!"
Kyla and Brian's eyes popped out of their heads, Kyla's in disgust, Brian's in excitement. He smiled at Kyla in anticipation.
"Hey! No fair!" Kyla cried. "The princess in the story didn't have to french kiss!"
"Yes she did!" The fairy snootily replied. "I should know, I was there!"
Kyla swallowed and looked back to the frog in her hands. She took a deep breath and brought him to her lips, opening her mouth only slightly. As soon as his long, froggy tongue touched hers, there was a cloud of smoke. When the smoke cleared, Kyla was french kissing the real, true blue, unfroginized Brian Littrell. After a few moments, she pulled away.
"Mmm, chocolate," She murmured, looking up into his eyes. Brian blinked and stepped back awkwardly, shaking his head.
"Well!" The fairy cried. "Get on with it!"
Kyla glared at it and, taking Kevin off her shoulder, handed him to Brian. "Sorry pal," She smiled. "I think I've kissed enough frogs for today!"
Brian's beautiful blues widened. "You want me . . .?" He began, accepting the frog from her hands.
The Kevin frog smiled at his cousin. "Pucker...up...big...boy..!"
Brian shuddered and glanced at the fairy. "Kevin, you owe me big time man!" He hurriedly brought his cousin's green mouth to his. There was a cloud of smoke and . . . The two guys quickly drew away from each other. There was an uncomfortable silence.
"Let's never speak of this!" Kevin grumbled.
Brian nodded. "Agreed."
Kyla swallowed. "My lips are sealed," She told them. "Although I hope you aren't such a horny toad in real life, Brian . . ." He gave her a meaningful glance.
"Well!" The fairy snapped, buzzing around their heads. "That's quite enough of that! I should say! Yes, enough of that! I'll be off now! Off!" There was a bright flash of light and the fairy was gone, along with any remnants of the box of Black Magic truffles.
The three stood in the clover patch, glancing at one another uncomfortably. "Well . . ." Kyla started. "I guess I should go. Good luck with the concert tonight!" She started to jog back into the woods.
"Wait!" Brian called after her. "What's your name?"
She turned back to him. "Kyla!" She answered.
"Tell them that at the ticket booth," He told her. "They'll give you your front row tickets and backstage passes."
Kyla nodded and hurried off to find Dee.
"I can't believe you got such great seats!" Dee exclaimed as they walked down the aisle.
Kyla shrugged. "It was nothing!"
Dee grinned at her. "C'mon! How did you do it? Someone must have told you something - a little bird, maybe?"
Kyla smiled. "More like a little, green frog . . ."
Get your own Free Home Page