A BAND OF GOLD
By Geri Halliwell
It was the start of a long hot summer and the day was filled with delight and wonder in the realisation that there was nothing to do except hang out in the sunshine. School was out, and timetables, assemblies and homework were just a strained and distant memory. There was only one agenda for the next six weeks: fun, freedom and a little adventure...
Emma, Victoria, Geri and the two Mels met in the usual place, under the huge, shady oak tree at the corner of the yellow meadow. Mr Hunter the local farmer, with his incessant ramblings about stepping on the sweetcorn, was luckily nowhere to be seen. The lazy day started as expected.
"You're late", complained Geri.
"My Chopper had a flat tire", explained Mel C.
"Not to mention getting Brownie out of bed".
"Well we're here now", said Emma, "so let's just enjoy the day".
So the fab five drifted under the warm spell of the sun, dreaming and laughing. However, there was a feeling of unrest among them.
"I'm bored", announced Mel B.
"I know what you mean - no matter how perfect the day is, I'm never truly happy, there's always something to worry about", complained Victoria.
"Well, what's true happiness anyway?" said Mel C.
"I think it's a goodness you can feel within, a place that's hard to find", said Geri.
"Like the tips of your toes?" said Emma.
"What rubbish, you lot are soooo boring", drawled Victoria.
"You're bored of us!" bawled Emma, "I can't believe you said that",
"I've had enough of you lot always complained", said Mel B.
"I agree, we always end up being dissatisfied", said Mel C.
"Well, that goes back to the point, why aren't we happy?" said Geri.
As they pondered on this thought the air began to grow cold, the sandwiches were all eaten, and Emma realised she had sunstroke as usual. A huge crack of thunder broke the silence and the clouds seemed to release the afternoon's sorrows in a torrential downpour.
"My hair!" cried Victoria.
"Well it needs a wash," laughed Mel B.
They quickly dashed into the hollow heart of the oak tree.
"Wow, I didn't realise it could be this big on the inside", said Mel C.
"Appearances can be deceiving", said Geri. "It actually takes you to another world".
"What exactly do you mean?" said Victoria, obviously unimpressed by this remark.
"Well, given the right conditions, this tree is magic".
"Great! Is it good or evil?" questioned Mel B.
"That depends on your state of mind", said Geri.
"Well it's bad for sure, going by my last school report", laughed Mel B.
Emma grew frightened by this vast monstrosity, it's twisted vines were unnerving.
"Well I don't believe it, it's just a big old tree", she said.
Just as the girls began to shake off the odd feeling Geri's strange words had given them, their attention was drawn to a far more immediate monstrosity, it was Mr Hunter.
"I know you're around here somewhere, you pesky kids, you've crushed my cabbages, wait until I get my hands on you!"
The girls held their breath trying not to make a sound. He was just outside. They could smell his stinky breath.
Geri tried not to giggle. Then he was gone.
They laughed at Mr Hunter and his silly squashed cabbages, only to discover they had problems enough of their
own - Emma was missing! She had vanished into thin air. It was impossible, where could she have gone? They'd been there all the time.
It grew darker inside the tree and it was evident that
trouble was brewing.
"She must be somewhere. Emma! Where are you?!" Geri hollered.
"I'll get my torch", announced Mel C (she'd always been the resourceful one). Its white light unmasked the tree's
vast glory, revealing not only the twisted lines of oak, but also the entrances to five dark tunnels.
"Well, we should look for her down there", suggested Geri.
"Are you stupid as well as bonkers?" demanded Victoria.
"We've go to do something", said Mel C.
"OK, one each", shouted Mel B and took a leap in the dark.
Before they'd even made up their minds Mel B was disappearing down a dark tunnel.
A loud roar echoed in the distance.
One, by one Geri, Melanie and Victoria each travelled down their own tunnel into the unknown darkness, in search of their dear friend.
They twisted and turned, falling down a winding slide blinded by blackness, surrendering to the fate which lay ahead of them. The ride took a final bump and Victoria, Mel B, Mel C & Geri tumbled into a heap on the floor. They all stared talking at once;
"Ow!!"
"Oops!"
"Sorry."
"Thank goodness - I thought I was a ...". Suddenly, the splendour before their eyes silenced them. They were in a large room, richly decorated with tapestries. Their silence was broken by a high - pitched moan which seemed to be getting louder and nearer. A big heavy door swung open, revealing who, or what, was the source of this vile sound. The girls stared in horror.
"Do not fear, my dears, my handsome face, or let my extraordinary looks alarm you. I am only a mere pig - dog, who means you no harm", he laughed. The girls laughed nervously back at the pig - dog.
"A talking dog - pig?" questioned Mel C.
"No pig - dog", said Geri.
"Where are we?" asked Mel B.
"Where's Emma?" said Geri.
Victoria made a face; "How can we get out of here?"
"Oh shut your noise!" squealed the pig - dog. "All in good time. But first you must meet my master who can help you with your quest".
"What?!" cried the girls.
"Follow me", said the pig dog. The startled girls picked themselves up. Victoria straightened her mini - skirt. They apprehensively followed the dog - pig, or rather the pig - dog, down a long marble hall.
"Be seated, my master will see you shortly", he snapped.
"COME IN!" boomed a powerful voice.
"Go on then - you first", whispered Mel B, pushing Geri through the emerald archway.
They stumbled through the entrance into a glitzy lounge to meet the pig - dog's master.
"Welcome my dears", He intoned.
"Who are you?" asked Mel C, bravely, staring at the ridiculous monstrosity which could only be described as a large human bogey, wiped on an armchair.
"I am Vince the Prince, also known as the Lounge Tree Lizard. I heard your woes and decided to help you by teaching you. But all life's lessons must be truly learnt and felt, to be understood. So I've decide to send you on a quest. You're looking for your friend aren't you? Well it was me that took her, heehee - she's a real sweetie - I can't wait to eat her. However, if you solve the puzzle and answer your own question then you can have her back".
"You're bonkers, give her back this minute or we'll call the police!" wailed Victoria.
"Oh yes, they'll really believe you". 'Excuse me Mr Officer, but Vince The Prince and Mr Pig - Dog have taken our Emma into another world inside a tree'", said Mel C.
"She's got a point actually!" said Geri.
To their horror, the slimy bogey man drew back a shiny green curtain to reveal poor Emma hanging from the ceiling in a tiny cage, gagged with an apple, her big blue eyes bursting with fright.
"Don't worry Emma, we'll get you out of there".
"Why, you disgusting slimy beast!" cried Mel B.
"Flattery will get you everywhere. Now, solve the riddle and you shall find what it is you are truly looking for."
"What's that?" They cried in unison.
"See what I mean, you do have a lot to learn". The Lounge Lizard, like a gruesome gameshow host, announced his riddle. "Answer me this - love is how the story's told, but what's really in that band of gold?"
The bogey man then slimed across the floor and squeezed a lever with his sticky fingers.
With a cynical smile, he waved as the floor beneath them collapsed and the girls began free - falling. They plummeted with such speed that they didn't even have time to scream. But as luck may have it, they were cushioned by a charming pile of soft compost, so no one was hurt.
"I can't believe our luck, we've been nearly killed, we've met the most evil people and I'm covered in rotten cabbages!" wept Victoria
Reality dawned on the girls - they were lost in the night, in cold, dark, damp woodland. Paralysed by every sound they heard, they clung to one another for warmth and protection. Out of the sullen indigo sky, an amber glow zipped and cracked. They were not alone.
"Good evening my dears, I couldn't help but overhear, I have such large ears you know, like radars, and I'm a nosy old sort, so I thought I'd come and say hello".
It was a little green, lumpy pixie who seemed friendly enough.
"OOOH can you help us, our friend has been kidnapped", cried the girls.
"Of course I will, my little dears".
His aristocratic manner was mesmerising and his penetrating eyes seemed to draw the girls into a state of relaxed tranquillity. But there was what looked like a manic electric light buzzing around his head.
"Don't mind him, that's my night vision - he's just a highly strung fire - fly."
"Oh!" sighed the girls', almost asleep.
"I heard your woes and smell a way out for you, I'll take you back to the yellow meadow and you can be happy again".
"Thank goodness!" cheered Victoria.
"On one condition. You must never question anything ever again. Go back and forget what you know, and all that you have learn. Ignorance is bliss, wouldn't you say?"
Geri felt uneasy, she sensed something wasn't quite right as she noticed a piece of slime on his shoulder
"No more worrying, Bear in mind you say goodbye to a world that is deeper than your own, with more splendour, colour and richness, But as I said, you can leave it all behind, I know you've suffered, Go back to a world just full of happiness".
"That's it? Thank you, thank you - we're saved!" yelled Victoria, hastily getting up to leave with the pixie.
"Excuse me, but haven't you forgotten something?" snapped Geri.
"Oh, of course. How on earth am I going to explain my lateness? I'm going to be really scolded by my mother".
"For goodness sake, what about Emma? Have you forgotten about her?" shouted Mel C, angrily.
"She's right you know, we're on a quest, we have a riddle to solve", said Mel B, repeating the riddle, "'Love is how the story's told, but what really makes the band of gold?'"
"Yes, but we must get Emma back", the others cried.
"Very well my dears, you've chosen scrupulously".
He said through gritted teeth and a false smile.
"However, the path of truth never did run straight - it is full of doubt, danger and fear, with terrible sights you can't t even begin to imagine".
"Oh dear!" gasped Victoria.
"So what?" asked Mel B.
"If you have second thoughts and need to take your mind off things; I'm just the chap for the job. Remember ignorance is bliss. I should know", he chuckled insanely, and was gone. He left his card, which read, 'CYRDS THE PIXIE, MASTER IN MIND CONTROC and it had on it a trace of a green bogey.
"Great, just great", sighed Victoria,
"Look, there's always a way out, but it's got to be the right way, our way", said Geri, "It says so right
there on that tree".
They peered curiously at the tree.
Sure enough, beneath an engraved heart, with the initials CG, was a scroll parchment which read 'STAY TRUE TO THAT LITTLE VOICE INSIDE OF YOU, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND THEY WILL TOO'.
"It's right, life is everyone's own adventure, let's finish this one off" said Mel B.
Although energised by fresh spirits hearts and minds, there was silent sadness as they marched through the thick of the forest, knowing that little Emma was all alone, in her cage of misery, with the putrid bogey man. They wearily walked all night and the sun was rising when they finally reached a clearing with a bright running stream, "Let's follow this; every little something leads to something big", said Geri.
After walking for hours and hours through scratchy brambles and thick, long grass they came to the end of the stream, which led to the mouth of a fast - flowing river. As Mel C sat down to take a sip, something golden caught her attention.
"There's something down there, I think it's treasure", she cried.
Immediately, the two Mels jumped into the chilly river, the fierce current pulling at them. It wasn't deep and they managed to fish out their promising find.
"What is it, what is it?" cried Victoria impatiently.
They sat on the soggy bank and peered with curiosity into a trinket box. It was more than just a lucky find, this was treasure indeed. The girls gasped at the five golden rings inside, shining in the morning sun, Instinctively each girl picked one up and placed it on her finger Which left one, that was obviously Emma's. There was nothing to do but believe. They drew in the power, magic and energy that flowed from the rings and all wished intensely for the same thing.
Suddenly they opened their eyes and were once again in the Lizard's lounge. The festering, sleepy bogeyman sat bolt upright in disbelief.
"So you have returned, you have the answer?"
"No!" said Mel B defiantly.
"Well, yes", said Geri, "sort of". She stammered and muttered until she found the words of truth that needed to be said.
"Look we don't care who you think you are, we want our friend back, and that's what counts - friendship, Love is how the story's told, but friendship's in the band of gold, that is the answer".
"Friendship!" the others cheered in agreement.
Mel C threw the last ring to Emma hanging in the cage - she immediately slipped it onto her finger. The lizard king began to scream hysterically, his snotty turning raspberry with rage. There was a loud crack in the sky. Suddenly the heavens opened, pouring its heart out to the world. Big fat happy tears streamed down and landed onto the five sleepy faces of Victoria, Emma, Geri, Mel C & Mel B.
"I think I had a very strange dream", said Emma, "or did I?
Something sparkled. Simultaneously the girls looked down at their hands. There upon each finger was a band of gold!
This whole entire fairytale was written by none other than Geri! If she can write this good, then she should become an author or something. Hopefully she'll write a real book, cos we all know she has the talent and the smarts for it. You can find this fairytale in their Official Spice Girls Summer Special.