*from http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/7185/
MRR: Ok, we're here with the Blanks 77.
Screams from Everyone: "its NOT the Blanks 77!!"
MRR: Have you trademarked the name?
Mike: For the interview yes. OFF the record no.
MRR: Ok, you guys just got signed and put an album
out on Radical Records from NYC. Let's talk about
Radical. Where did they come from and how is it
working for you?
Timm: I saw our CD in The Wall!
Renee: Yeah, you can find it in the computer thingie
under "reggae". That's how well Radical is doing.
Mike: They did the Oi!/Skampilation...they asked us
to put a record out so...
MRR: Were you guys looking at other labels before
Radical?
Mike: We really tried!
Renee: Lookout! records hated us, Epitaph hated us.
Mike: I wrote them all nasty letters! Now Taang is
interested.
Renee: Yeah, NOW they want us.
MRR: Like who?
Mike: Taang, New Red Archives..
Timm: Sire.
MRR: Sire???!!!! Who's gonna blow Seymour Stein?
Timm: Renee.
MRR: I think he likes men.
Timm: Renee is a man.
Mike: We tried to get on a good sized label, but two
years ago, punk rock was not very punk rock, finally
we got a label that wanted us from NY.
Renee: It's all about the hair, our hair's not big
enough.
MRR: Well do you like the record, or do you not like
the record?
Chad: It's basically the same as the German import
with a few more songs.
Mike: We're more excited about the NEW new
record.
MRR: What's this one gonna be called?
Everyone: "Tanked and Pogoed"!!
MRR: More songs about, "You go" and...
Mike: The sex, the drinking. one song even says "I
ain't got no time"
MRR: There ya go, when will that be out?
Timm: ummm...February? March maybe, who
knows.
MRR: You guys just got off tour, how long was the
tour?
Sue: Forever.
Mike: 69 days.
MRR: Most important question, obviously, who got
laid on tour?
(everyone starts laughing and pointing at Mike)
Timm: Mostly our roadie. He got attacked by a 33
year-old woman when he was passed out on the floor
in Milwaukee. He tried to deny it, but we all saw the
marks.
MRR: So the roadie was the only one that got sex on
tour?
Mike: Well, I had two kinds of sex.
MRR: Tell us about your two kinds of sex.
Mike: One is sex in the mouth.
MRR: Your mouth?
Renee: Yes, sex in Mike's mouth.
Mike:...and the other was sex in her vagina, but i
didnt coum, so I didnt know if that counts.
MRR: Oh, that counts.
Sue: She was born in 77, we won't mention her name.
Timm: Her name rhymes with "born in". She was
street legal.
MRR: Mike, is it true that you and your roadie had
sex with a girl together?
Mike: Yeah! the born in 77!
MRR: Which side did you get?
Mike: Well she wouldnt put it in her mouth...
Renee: She said, "I dont know where that things
been!"
Mike: I had to wait...
MRR: You put it in after the roadie put it in??!!!
Mike: I'm fuckin crazy.
MRR: Did you wear a condom?
Mike: Oh yeah.
MRR: Same condom the roadie wore?
(Everyone starts screaming...chaos)
Timm: The condom wrappers are taped up in the bus
if you wanna see them...Now, Renee...
MRR: Now, Renee, I know you are the sex goddess
of the band, who did YOU schtup on tour?
Renee: I am one of them reborn virgin people.
Mike: Take back the night.
Timm: If you were under 17, Renee tried to do you
on tour.
MRR: So, you two girls are traveling alone with all
those boys in the van...
Renee: We're fuckin crazy.
Timm: It's hard when Sue wears those short skirts
and she bends over and puts her ass in your face, and
she says" what are you STARING at?" but eventually
you get used to it.
Renee: When she decides to walk through a white
trash trailer park wearing nothing but a bra.
Sue: It was NOT a bra, ok, it was a fuzy leopart print
top thingie!!!
Renee: ...and gross men with hairy backs drooling
and looking like they're gonna throw her down and
rape her...
MRR: Anyway. When were the Blanks born?
Everyone: 1977!!!!!!!
MRR: So you guys just bought your second huge
tour bus?
Timm: We have a jet actually...
MRR: The word on the street is that Radical Records
paid you a 2,000 advance...
Loud Laughter....PAID US! Really?
Chad: I AM smoking a five dollar cigar.
Timm: That you lit with that hundred dollar bill.
Renee: Well Radical wired us a couple million
dollars spending money.
MRR: That's what the kids across America wanna
know. I noticed all of you were a little itchy when
you got back from tour...Why were you all scratching
yourselves?
Renee: Mike got them first.
Sue: Chad was the only one who had them on his ass
though.
MRR: OK, how did you get all the scabies?
Mike: The insertion of the penis into odd places on a
female's body...
MRR: So obviously you put your penis into everyone
else in the band.
Timm: Just Chad.
Renee: Just Chad's ass!
Sue: Actually, we think we got them from the couch.
Renee: That we got from the ghetto garbage with all
that money we got from Radical Records! Not just
any garbage, the ghetto garbage.
MRR: Let's talk about your audience base.
Timm: Lot's of skinheads come to our shows
actually.
Sue: Young punks, lots of kids.
MRR: About what age?
Mike: 13 to like 17.
Renee: THAT'S why we have no sex on tour. we
have to proof them first. The kid's parent's LOVE us.
though They always think we are so nice.
MRR: You're like the Brady Bunch on tour. Let's talk
about the deep politics in your lyrics.
(Timm starts laughing hysterically)
MRR: Well, you've gone from the Reagan era to the
Clinton era, an dnow we're facing the 1996 election,
and you're very political, so how do you feel about he
whole spectrum of politics?
Renee: I watched a little bit of the Republican
Convention and realized that Bob Dole is gonna fix
everything for us.
Sue: I don't know. I want a President with hands.
How can he fix anything when his hands are all
fucked up?
Chad: It's all bullshit, its about who's got the prettiest
show. Everytime I turn on the TV on it's fuckin
beautiful. With 2,000 dollar suits and shit.
Mike: You gotta look good though, Would you want
someone ugly running the country?
Renee: They do! They already do.
MRR: What's the Blanks favorite movies?
All: CLUELESS!!
Chad: The John Gotti Story. Mob movies.
MRR: Now you guys come up with all these catch
phrases that all the kids love to imitate.
Mike: Yeah, but we steal them from somewhere, we
don't even make em up.
MRR: You guys are always at the Coney Island High
Green Door Party. What's your relationship with
that?
Renee: Three floors of drinking.
Sue: I like the hair, Theres lots of hair there.
MRR: Is it the hair? Or the booze?
Mike: We go for the hair, stay for the booze.
Sue: Mike has insulted more famous people there
than anywhere else on earth. Didn't you ask Liv Tyler
about her two Golden Globes?
Timm: Oh yeah! and Tabitha Soren said that you
should lose the 70s punk look and enter the 90s!
MRR: Well, let's ask about more Maximum Rock n
Roll questions, cuz our readers wanna know....about
the Rancid incident. What happened at the Coney
Island High with Rancid?
Timm: it wasnt Rancid, it was Liv Tyler.
MRR: Well, I saw you open for Rancid.
Mike: They kicked our asses then! We thought we
were getting a big ol guarantee and we get there...and
THEY KICKED OUR ASSES!
Sue: We got paid very little, and they treated us like
shit.
Timm: Not Rancid, it was their management..
MRR: Its like D-Gen too, they're nice guys but their
management sucks.
Chad: Rancid are extremely nice, it's the management
that fucking rules their lives.
Mike: The band needs to have more to do with it.
MRR: Sue, your basically the manager of the band
right?
Sue: Yeah, I try not to make enemies with anyone...
Renee: The people that you choose to surround
yourself with or manage you, whatever, should know
what your all about.
Mike: Sue makes the calls, gets the money, all that
shit. You need someone besides the band to do that.
Sue: I think you really need to like the band to be
good at managing them. I dont think Rancid or D-
Gen's management even likes the music.
MRR: So you're like the 5th Blank?
Sue: I feel like i'm part of the band.
MRR: A band is not just the band members, it's
everything.
Mike: oh, its not about the playing at all.
MRR: How long do you guys see yourselves doing
this for?
Renee: We all pretty much realized that we can't do
much of anything else.
Mike: Another 10 minutes of fame would be nice.
Timm: i wanna tour non-stop.
Chad: Another 6 years. Then I turn 30 and I'll have to
get a life.
Renee: We'll all be dead by then
Mike: After 6 years, we can break up and reunite and
make tons of money. Id like to do it till im dead.
MRR: So you see yourselves playing punk rock
forever??!!
Mike: We learned it from you George...
Everyone: WE LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING
YOU!!!! you're like 65 arent you?
Sue: It'll be hard to be like, 40,, and sleeping on
someones floor in Connecticut or something.
Mike: and the girls will still be 14 years old!!!!
MRR: You guys will continue this after the punk
rock resurgence dies?
Renee: Well, we started before IT started, and we'll
be here long afterwards, but all the kids calling us
sellouts won't be around.
Mike: it's all about the tongue-kissing.
Timm: They'll all have their corporate jobs and we'll
still be making money. The minute anyone starts to
like a band, they're a sellout, I dont get it.
MRR: Thats a 12 year-old mentality. Chad, what do
you wanna say?
Chad: This interview sucks. Everyone is just
screaming things. I hate interviews. Why can't you
ask a question and we all answer it?
MRR: OK, why are you getting watched while you
do this interview? (referring to the 15 or so kids
standing around staring at the band).
Chad: I dont know, but let's start over and be serious.
Like, what are everyone's influences...
MRR: Ok, thats a serious question....
Chad: Dwarves and Kiss. 1973-1980 Kiss, not the
Dwarves.
Mike: I think the band got really good when we all
started worshipping the Dwarves. Plus, we play like
the Ramones play, non-stop and shit. The subject
material....like blood, guts, and pussy.
Chad: For 45 minutes, we give it our all.
MRR: Renee, what are your influences?
Timm: Passing out in the bus.
Renee: D-Generation.
MRR: Oh right, I forgot, what is it that Jessee made
you do?
Renee: He made me bark like a dog.
MRR: What were you guys like in high school?
Mike and Timm: Geeks. We got beat up.
Mike: Quiet, shy. I got into the punk rock around
junior year.
Renee: All the outcasts in high school are punks now,
and all the popular people are married.
Timm: And the ones who made fun of us, now all
love it!
MRR: Anymore SERIOUS questions for Maximum
Rock n Roll?
Sue: Apparently, theres a dead frog in the pool and I
think Evan is trying to get it out. He has so much hair
on his back, that's more than I ever needed to know
about Evan.
MRR: The video?
Sue: Radical did a video for the Blanks, "Search and
Destroy." what if MTV shows it? How do you feel
about being on MTV? Is it a good thing?
Mike: If MTV plays anything other than what they're
playing now, it would be a good thing!
Chad: The kids would be happy to see us get there, I
think.
Timm: Yeah.
Renee: That's what every band thinks, until everyone
calls them sellouts.
Sue: I wonder if 5 years from now, Mike will get up
and try to sing on-stage like Lars from Rancid with
like, The Hysterics, (new punk band from NJ
consisting of mostly 16 year old boys) for instance,
and someone will punch him in the face?
Renee: Hopefully, I might punch him in the face
later.
Mike: MTV thought about having a punk show,
right? And they destroyed it. I think real punk
rockers wouldn't mind seeing our video.
Renee: Why keep it all to yourself? I don't see the
sense of preaching to the converted. I'd rather be in a
band forever than work for someone I hate.
MRR: As long as you don't sing about stupid things,
like girls dumping you.
Renee: Then we'd be Weston.
Mike: I am telling you, our third album is gonna
suck, dont buy it. The second album will be great, but
the third one will suck. So we just won't play those
songs.
Renee: Great, we'll just keep playing "Let's Riot..."
Chad: I don't think the Blanks 77 would put out a
third album if it sucks. It's not a song until we're all
happy. By then we should be making money...
Timm: Yeah, right. Renee will be dead by then,
Renee I kno, the check got lost in the mail. Thats
what happened. why we have no money.
MRR: Any last words?
Timm: Bands, if you don't want people to think your
assholes, don't let Stormy book you.
Mike: The third album WILL suck.
Chad: This interview sucked.
Renee: Will someone take Chad out back and fuck
him? He needs a good fuck, just look at him.
(
geocities.com/sunsetstrip/balcony) (
geocities.com/sunsetstrip)