STEREOTYPES
The suburbs they are dreaming
They’re a twinkle in her eye
She’s been feeling frisky
Since her husband said goodbye
She wears a low cut T-shirt
Runs a little B&B
She’s most accommodating when she’s in her lingerie
Wife swapping is the future
You know that it would suit you
Yes, they’re stereotypes
There must be more to life
All your life you are dreaming
And then you stop dreaming
From time to time you know
You should be going on another bender
The suburbs they are sleeping
But he’s dressing up tonight
She likes a man in uniform
He loves to wear it tight
They’re on the lovers sofa
They’re on the patio
And when the fun is over, watch themselves on video
The neighbours may be staring
But they are just past caring
COUNTRY HOUSE
(So the story begins)
City dweller
Successful fella
Thought to himself
Ooops I’ve got a lot of money
I’m caught in a rat race terminally
I’m a professional cynic
But my heart’s not in it
I’m paying the price of living life at the legal limit
Caught up in the centuries anxiety
It preys on him
He’s getting thin
Now he lives in a house
A very big house in the country
Watching afternoon repeats
And the food he eats in the country
He takes all manner of pills
And piles up analyst bills in the country
It’s like an animal farm
Lots of rural charm in the country
Now he’s got morning glory
Life’s a different story
Everything going jackanory
In touch with his own mortality
He’s reading Balzac
Knocking back Prozac
It’s a helping hand
That makes you feel wonderfully bland
Oh it’s the centuries remedy
For the faint at heart
A new start
He lives in a house
A very big house in the country
He’s got a fog in his chest
So he needs a lot of rest in the country
He doesn’t drink smoke laugh
He takes herbal baths in the country
Oh it’s like an animal farm
But you’ll come to no harm in the country
Blow, blow me out I am so sad I don’t know why
BEST DAYS
BOW, BELLS, SAY GOODBYE TO THE LAST TRAIN
OVER THE RIVER THEY ALL GO AGAIN
OUT INTO LEAFY NOWHERE HOPE SOMEONE WAITING OUT THERE FOR THEM
CABBIE HAS HIS MIND ON A FARE TO THE SUN
HE WORKS NIGHTS BUT IT'S NOT MUCH FUN
PICK'S UP THE LONDON YO YOS
ALL ON THEIR OWN DOWN SOHO
PLEASE TAKE ME HOME
OTHER PEOPLE WOULDN'T WANT TO HEAR YOU
IF YOU SAID THAT THESE ARE THE BEST DAYS OF THEIR LIVES
OTHER PEOPLE TURN AROUND AND LAUGH AT YOU
IF YOU SAID THAT THESE WERE THE BEST DAYS OF OUR LIVES
TRELLICK TOWER'S BEEN CALLING
I KNOW SHE'LL LEAVE ME IN THE MORNING
IN HOTEL CELLS LISTENING TO DULL TONES
REMOTE CONTROLS AND CABLE MOANS
IN HIS DRINK HE'S BEEN TALKING
GETS DISCONNECTED SLEEPWALKING BACK HOME
CHARMLESS MAN
I MET HIM IN A CROWDED ROOM
WHERE PEOPLE GO TO DRINK AWAY THEIR GLOOM
HE SAT ME DOWN AND SO BEGAN
THE STORY OF A CHARM LESS MAN
EDUCATED THE EXPENSIVE WAY
HE KNOWS HIS CLARET FROM A BEAUJOLAIS
I THINK HE'D LIKE TO HAVE BEEN RONNIE KRAY
BUT THEN NATURE DIDN'T MAKE HIM THAT WAY
HE THINKS HIS EDUCATED AIRS THOSE FAMILY SHARES
WILL PROTECT HIM, THAT WE WILL RESPECT HIM
HE MOVES IN CIRCLES OF FRIENDS WHO JUST PRETEND THAT THEY LIKE HIM
HE DOES THE SAME TO THEM
AND WHEN YOU PUT IT ALL TOGETHER THERE'S THE MODEL OF A CHARM LESS MAN
HE KNOWS THE SWINGERS AND THEIR CAVALRY
SAYS HE CAN GET IN ANYWHERE FOR FREE
I BEGAN TO GO A LITTLE CROSS EYED
AND FROM THIS CHARMLESS MAN I JUST HAD TO HIDE
HE TALKS AT SPEED HE GETS NOSE BLEEDS
HE DOESN'T SEE HIS DAYS ARE TUMBLING DOWN UPON HIM
AND YET HE TRIES SO HARD TO PLEASE HE'S JUST SO KEEN FOR YOU TO LISTEN
BUT NO-ONE IS LISTENING AND WHEN YOU PUT IT ALL TOGETHER
THERE'S THE MODEL OF A CHARM LESS MAN
FADE AWAY
THEY STUMBLED INTO THEIR LIVES
IN A VAGUE WAY BECAME MAN AND WIFE
ONE GOT THE OTHER THEY DESERVED EACH OTHER
THEY SETTLED IN A BRAND NEW TOWN
WITH PEOPLE FROM THE SAME BACKGROUND
THEY KEPT THEMSELVES BUSY
LONG HOURS LEFT THEM DIZZY
NOW WHEN HE'S IN, SHE'S OUT
ALL YOU EVER DO IS FADE AWAY
THEY ARE NOT MAKING PLANS
BECAUSE NOW THEY UNDERSTAND
ALL YOU EVER DO IS FADE AWAY
HE NOTICED HE HAD VISIBLE LINES
SHE WORRIED ABOUT HER BEHIND
THEIR BIRTH HAD BEEN THE DEATH OF THEM
IT DIDN'T REALLY BOTHER THEM
NOW WHEN SHE'S IN HE'S OUT.
TOP MAN
THIS IS A PUBLIC WARNING
BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU ARE OUT
WE ARE HAVING FREAKY WEATHER
THERE'S A LOT OF IT ABOUT
THE TERRACES ARE SWINGING
HE'S A MONKEY ON THE ROOF
YOU'VE SEEN HIM ON THE TELLY
SO LET ME INTRODUCE YOU'RE HOST TONIGHT
T.O.P.M.A.N.
HE'S NAUGHTY BY NATURE
ON DOUBLES AND CHASERS
SHOOTING GUNS ON THE HIGH STREET OF LOVE
IN A CROWD IT'S HARD TO SPOT HIM
BUT ANONYMITY CAN COST
HE'S NEVER CHEAP N CHEERFUL
HE'S HUGO AND HE'S BOSS
HE'S RIDING THROUGH THE DESERT ON A CAMEL LIGHT
AND ON A MAGIC CARPET
HE'LL FLY AWAY TONIGHT
OPEN SESAME
T.O.P.M.A.N.
SEES HER IN DOUBLE
THEN PUKES ON THE PAVEMENT
LIKES HER ALL CLEAN AND SHAVEN
SHOOTING GUNS ON THE HIGH STREET OF LOVE
THE UNIVERSAL
THIS IS THE NEXT CENTURY
THE UNIVERSAL IS FREE
YOU CAN FIND IT ANYWHERE
YES, THE FUTURE HAS BEEN SOLD
EVERY NIGHT WE ARE GONE
AND TO KARAOKE SONGS
WE LIKE TO SING A LONG
ALTHOUGH THE WORDS ARE WRONG
IT REALLY, REALLY, REALLY COULD HAPPEN
WHEN THE DAYS SEEM TO FALL STRAIGHT THROUGH YOU
JUST LET THEM GO
NO ONE HERE IS ALONE
SATELLITES IN EVERY HOME
THE UNIVERSAL IS HERE
HERE FOR EVERYONE
EVERY PAPER THAT YOU READ
SAYS TOMORROW IS YOUR LUCKY DAY
WELL, HERE'S YOUR LUCKY DAY
MR. ROBINSONS' QUANGO
Mr. Robinson and his quango
Dirty dealer, expensive car
Runs the buses and the evening star
He got a hairpiece he got herpes
His private life is very discreet
A nicer man you’re never gonna meet
A self professed saviour of the dim right wing
He’s got respiratory problems and a masons ring
Mr. Robinson and his quango
Drinks with the general and the county wives
Yes the family business is doing all right
They are doing tangos down in the quangos
He makes them tick and he makes them tock
And if he doesn’t like you he’ll put you in the dock
He just sits in his leather chair and twiddles his thumbs
Gets his secretary in and pinches her bum
He ran into the toilet in the town hall
Got a biro out and wrote on the wall
I’m wearing black french knickers on under my suit
I’m wearing stockings and supenders oh I’m feeling rather loose
Oh I’m a naughty boy
Oh I’m a naughty, naughty boy
HE THOUGHT OF CARS
Moscow’s still red
The young man’s dead
Gone to Heaven instead
The evening news says he was confused
The motorways will all merge soon
Lottery winner buys the moon
They’ve come to save us
The space invaders are here
He thought of cars
And where, where to drive them
And who to drive them with
And there, there was no one, no one
There’s panic at London heathrow
Everybody wants to go up into the blue
But there’s a ten year queue
Columbia is on top gear
It shouldn’t snow at this time of the year
Now America’s shot
She’s gone and done a lot
He thought of planes
And where, where to fly to
And who to fly there with
And there, there was no one
IT COULD BE YOU
CHURCHILL GOT HIM LUCKY NUMBER
BUT TOMORROW THERE'S ANOTHER
COULD BE ME COULD BE YOU
NO SILVER SPOON
STICKY TEETH THEY ROT TOO SOON
YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE THE BEST TUNES OR THAT'S IT YOU'VE BLOWN IT
ALL WE WANT IS TO HAPPY
IN OUR HOMES LIKE HAPPY FAMILIES
BE THE MAN ON THE BEACH WITH THE WORLD AT HIS FEET
YES, IT COULD BE YOU
THE LIKELY LADS ARE PICKING UP THEIR UGLIES
YESTERDAY THEY WERE JUST PUPPIES
BEERY SLURS NOW LIFE'S A BLUR
TELLY ADDICTS
YOU SHOULD SEEM THAT AT IT
GETTING IN A PANIC
WILL WE BE THERE?
TRAFALGAR SQUARE
SO DON'T WORRY
IF IT'S NOT YOUR LUCKY NUMBER
BECAUSE TOMORROW THERE IS ANOTHER
COULD BE YOU, COULD BE ME.
ERNOLD SAME
ERNOLD SAME AWOKE FROM THE SAME DREAM IN THE SAME BED
AT THE SAME TIME LOOKED IN THE SAME MIRROR MADE THE SAME FROWN AND FELT THE SAME WAY AS HE DID EVERY DAY
THEN ERNOLD SAME CAUGHT THE SAME TRAIN AT THE SAME STATION
SAT IN THE SAME SEAT WITH THE SAME NASTY STAIN NEXT TO SAME OLD WHAT'S HIS NAME
ON HIS WAY TO THE SAME PLACE TO DO THE SAME THING AGAIN AND AGAIN
POOR OLD ERNOLD SAME
OH ERNOLD SAME
HIS WORLD STAYS THE SAME
TODAY WILL ALWAYS BE TOMORROW
POOR OLD ERNOLD SAME
HE'S GETTING THAT FEELING ONCE AGAIN
NOTHING WILL CHANGE TOMORROW
GLOBE ALONE
WHO MADDEST ONE ON THE Ml
WHO HASN'T STOPPED SUCKING HIS THUMB
WHO VERY STRAIGHT AND NEVER GRINS
WHO CARS WHAT CAR HE'S DRIVING IN
HE IS BECAUSE HE SAW IT ON A COMMERCIAL BREAK
AND IF HE DOESN'T GET WHAT HE WANTS THEN HE'LL GET A HEADACHE
BECAUSE HE WANTS IT, NEEDS IT, ALMOST LOVES IT
HERE'S HERE ON HIS OWN, ON GLOBE ALONE
WHO JOINED HEALTH CLUB TO GLISTEN
INTO HI FI PRECISION
WHO'S MOBILE PHONE GIVES HIM THE BONE
WHO VERY KEEN ON SHARON STONE
WHO ONLY EATS AT THE NEW BRASSERIE
WHO ONLY EVER GETS MERRY
WHO WOULDN'T BE SEEN AT BEDTIME
WITHOUT PUTTING CALVIN KLEINS ON
DAN ABNORMAL
MEANIE LEANIE COME ON DOWN
COME AND ENTERTAIN THE TOWN
IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT AND WE'RE ALL BORED
TIMES BEEN CALLED THERE IS NO MORE
TIMES BEEN CALLED IT'S SUCH A BORE
DAN ABNORMAL NOT NORMAL AT ALL
IT'S NOT HIS FAULT WE MADE HIM THIS WAY
HE'LL IMITATE YOU TRY TO APE YOU
BUT IT'S NOT HIS FAULT DAN WATCHES TV
THE MEANIE LEANIE STAYS UP LATE
MOPES AROUND GETS IN A STATE
HE THE KILLER IN YOUR ARCADE
KILLING GANGSTAS READY MADE
CAUSE THAT IS WHERE THE FUTURE'S MADE
TELE PORT ME
DAN WENT TO HIS LOCAL BURGER BAR
I WANT MCNORMAL AND CHIPS
OR I'LL BLOW YOU TO BITS
GIVE US IT
IT'S THE MISERIES AT HALF PAST THREE
WATCHING VIDEO NASTIES
HE HAS DIRTY DREAMS WHILE HE'S ASLEEP
DAN'S JUST LIKE YOU, YOU SEE
HE'S THE MEANIE LEANIE
ENTERTAIN ME
BUT SO IS HE
HEAD TO THE FLOODLIGHTS
SEE THE FRATERNITY
THEY ARE WAITING
I HEAR THEM UP IN THE NORTH
AND DOWN IN THE SOUTH
AND ALL THAT IS SPEWING
SPEWING OUT OF HIS MOUTH
ENTERTAIN ME
AT HIS AND HERS DATING
BORED MINDS AGREE
REQUIREMENTS TO BE STATED
REPLIES AWAITED
SHE WANTS A LOOSE FIT
HE WANTS INSTANT WHIP
HE GUESSTIMATES HER ARRIVAL
WILL SHE WANT IT REALLY BADLY
ENTERTAIN ME
A CAR, A HOUSE BOTH IN STREET
THE BOREDOM OF THE SOBER WEEK
THE WEEKEND IS HERE HIP,HIP HOORAY
TO MAKE THE BLUES JUST GO AWAY
ENTERTAIN ME
YUKO AND HIRO
THIS IS MY WORK PLACE
AND THESE ARE THE PEOPLE I WORK WITH
YUKO AND HIRO
WE WORK TOGETHER
WE WORK FOR THE COMPANY
THAT WORKS TO THE FUTURE
THEY WILL PROTECT US
WE WORK TOGETHER
I NEVER SEE YOU
WE ARE NEVER TOGETHER
I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER
I DRINK IN THE EVENINGS
IT HELPS WITH RELAXING
I CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT DRINKING
WE DRINK TOGETHER
FROM MONDAY TO SATURDAY
I GO TO MY WORKPLACE
BUT ON SUNDAY WE ARE TOGETHER
YUKO AND HIRO