Chapter 3: Creative Difficulties
"I can't believe that she knew, the whole time who I was!" declared Nick. He was sitting next to Brian, on a plane to Sweden.
"I told you that the hair wasn't your look," intervened AJ, the certified king of hair dye, leaning over the edge of his seat to catch parts of their conversation.
"Yeah, I hated it too, but I thought that the hair and the change of the name would be enough. She was so much fun, too."
"What, she suddenly isn't anymore, just because she knows that you're part of a band, that you grace quite a few magazine covers, that you lied to her about your name, she suddenly isn't fun anymore?" Brian said, reasonably.
"Well, yeah. There's the fact that I lied to her, and she didn't seem mad or anything about it. But I didn't lie that much, only about my name. We are in the entertainment business, and we are going to Sweden," Nick protested.
"Yeah yeah. You said that she had the CD, so she probably knew right away who you were," Brian said.
"And that's the part that bugs me. I mean, what if there really wasn't anything there, that she was just hanging out with me because I'm Nick Carter, the Backstreet boy?" Nick said, worriedly.
"Think about it. Wouldn't someone who would do that, wouldn't they ask for a ton of pictures and your autograph, to prove that she met you? I think she just let you carry on your little game so that you wouldn't freak out," said Brain.
"Maybe you're right. But, man, I did have a lot of fun with her. It's too bad she has a boyfriend though," he said wistfully.
"Hey, you said that she's moving to Orlando. Maybe the whole different country thing won't work out for her and that guy, and then you could hook up with her," said AJ.
"Doubt it though. Kay's not like that, she wouldn't just dump someone because they never see each other. Plus, after the way she ran of after the...never mind," Nick said, looking out the window, trying block out his hate for flying.
"After the what? Nickolas, is there something you're not telling us?" asked AJ.
"Well...after the way she ran off after I...well, after I kissed her," Nick said, turning beet red.
"Maybe she won't mind the distance, but what about her guy?" said Brain.
* * * *
The alarm clock was buzzing. That's all that Nick could hear, the buzzing of that stupid alarm clock. Groaning, he looked at the time on the clock and groaned. He was late.
Jumping out of bed, he threw on the first thing he could find, attempting to brush his hair; after a few moments spent in vain, threw on a hat, and raced out the door, while attempting to tie his shoes.
He was about halfway to the elevator, with one shoe tied and the other's laces getting caught under the tied shoe, and he fell flat on his face.
Just then, the door in front of him opened and out came Kevin. "Nick? Problems with coordination?" he asked. Nick pulled himself up.
"I'm late. Wait a minute, so are you! Ha, so I won't get chewed out alone!" he said, while bending over to tie the rebel shoelace.
"Nick, you're beyond late, man. The recording session was four hours ago. Lucky for you that you didn't have to be there. Don't you remember being told that?" Kevin asked, exasperated over Nick's lack of memory.
"Are you serious? Sorry, I was up really late last night...Well, I was up until about three hours ago, reading a book by that girl I told you about," Nick explained.
"Three hours? Must have been one helluva page turner!" Kevin said.
"Yeah, she's amazing," he said.
"Nick, go sleep. You don't want to sleep through tomorrow's practice. If all goes well, then we're free for about a month," Kevin explained.
"Really? Wow, this week has gone by really fast," Nick said. He said goodbye to Kevin, and headed back to his hotel room. After entering, he sat down on his bed, looking at the pile of books he had brought with him.
They were all by Cairo. Some weren't as good as the others, but some were absolutely amazing. The one he read last night (Cairo's only non-horror novel), Under the Sparkling Waters, was about a girl who had tried to save her drowning sister, but had failed. It had this whole redemption theme and the idea about a woman in love with the ocean, but never being able to swim in it was really original. The woman always dreamed and longed to swim, but she promised herself that she wouldn't; for memory of her sister.
Nick was finding it hard to stop thinking about Kay. In her book, her obvious love of the ocean was evident. The descriptive awe in which she wrote about the woman's thoughts and longings was moving. Plus he remembered her smiling face leaning over the rail of the ship, looking all around her.
Sighing, he grabbed the last of Cairo's books, Love, Loyalty and Friendship. It was the only he hadn't read so far. He remembered running all over the place, to every book store he knew of, trying to track down all of her books, which had taken two days.
Opening it, he read the synopsis on the side of the book jacket. It was about a couple that broke up and the guy gets all obsessed with her, starts stalking her and tries to kill her and her new boyfriend. It looked disturbing, which made he smile. How could someone so nice write such dark novels?
Inwardly, Nick kicked himself. He was thinking about her again.
"No wonder she's all you think about. You've read almost everything about her by her!" he said. At that thought, he shut the book and packed it away in his bag. There, now I can't read that for at least a week. That way, I can prove to myself that I'm over her, he thought to himself.
* * * *
"Carter, concentrate man. I'm not feeling this song," the technician said.
"Maybe that's because I've been singing it for 3 hours," Nick said angrily.
"Let's try it one more time. Although you guys are way beyond this amateur piece of advice, picture someone for inspiration," the technician suggested. That lightened Nick up a bit. He was tired and completely sick of this song, but that was the advice that had been given the most frequently when they recorded their first album. Just picture someone for inspiration, he told himself.
He listened for the strains of the music, closed his eyes and found himself, once again thinking of Cairo. Well, if that's where my mind wants to go, might as well just let it wander. I'm not getting anything done today. It's just not happening, he thought.
After he had finished the required vocals, he waited for the technician to say something. He stood there, waiting for the guy to rip into him, or to tell him to get out, that they'd try again tomorrow.
"Carter, that was way better. I think that's it, you guys can go home now," the guy said.
* * * *
It was a long flight home. Of course it was a night flight, which Nick couldn't stand. Knowing you were thirty thousand feet over the ground and not being able to see a thing was not the most comforting thing in the world. The rest of the guys seemed to be asleep.
Nick fought really hard against temptation, but after awhile even his Gameboy wasn't enough to entice him away from it. He pulled the last of Cairo's books out of his carry-on bag, his backpack, and settled down to read it, realizing that he had just broke his promise to himself.