commie squirrels

Communist Squirrel Spotted!

                                                                          Name: Silzovkwyi Sqrrilxski
                                                                                   Height: 7 inches
                                                                                 Weight: 4 ounces
                                                                                     Hair: Brown
                                                                                      Tail: Bushy

Citizens beware! Evil, diabolical, commie squirrel spotted in Washington D.C.! He is coming to a city near you! He will preach words of sharing toilet paper, and gourmet nuts, but please do not be swayed by this evil criminal. He has influenced a small group of militant squirrels, and they are sick and tired of capitalist squirrels hogging the trees. This dangerous group of bushytailed fugitives have many dangerous weapons like the pinecone grendade, a self-exploding device that launches the prickly spears of the pinecone out at a whopping speed of fifty miles per hour, and the twig rocket, which can spear any opposition in less than one second.

Silzovkwyi will be wearing a puke green jacket with a red beret. He has a curly black mustache, and a sack of peanuts with him at all times. His distinguishing characteristics are the bullet graze on his left thigh, and a tattoo of a pecan on his left buttcheek. He likes to hang out in gay bars, drinking vodka, and seducing squirrels into his commie realm.

If you see Sqrrilxski or his followers, do not take action in to your own hands! Please nofity the SIA (Squirrel Intelligence Agency) immiediately, and we will proceed in a mass destruction of your city. Stay indoors, the pinecones will be flying. Do not let any squirrels into your attic, unless they have the proper identification, which can be seen below. Remember, be careful and watch your back, the commie squirrels are ready to attack!

SIA I.D. Card