This entire site has been, as Bill Maher so eloquently puts it, "satirized for your protection." It is the brainchild of a skinny English major with WAY too much free time working in conjunction with a delightfully clever, musically-inclined friend. None of the materials presented on this site are readily available for purchase; hell, none of them exist, as far as we know. If you try to order anything from this site, don't expect it to show up on your doorstep. We don't accept any money from those of you foolish enough to try to send it to us. We haven't even included an actual address where we could be contacted, so we're not sure how anyone would send us money in the first place. Bottom line: we're not selling anything. This whole site is a joke and should be taken as such. We are not affiliated with: Marilyn Manson, nothing records, TVT records, Interscope records, the late Dr. Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel and/or his estate), Judith Viorst, the Antichrist(!), Friedrich Nietzsche, Abraham Lincoln, Charles Manson, President William "Billy-Boy" Jefferson Clinton, Platinum Post Studios, the Improv (Hollywood or otherwise), MTV, MTV's Celebrity Deathmatch, Jello Biafra, the Beatles, Charlton Heston, Vincent Schiavelli, George "The Animal" Steele, Charles Nelson Reilly, Sid & Marty Krofft (Lidsville), Elton John, E.T., Julia Child, Ragu, Coca-Cola, Magic Secrets Revealed, Harry Houdini, David Copperfield, Penn & Teller, Pokey the Penguin, or any of the respective magazines and websites from which we stole the graphics contained within these pages.
Don't sue us; we're college students - we don't have any money. And Paula, if you're offended by our using the title of your poem for one of our books, we're sorry.
Now that that unpleasantness is out of the way, you might want to choose one of these options:
