"Sixteen, Clumsy and Shy..."
Well, I'm a bit older (OK, a lot older) than 16, but I thought with this portion of my website, I would tell you, O My Brothers*, a little bit about how and why I got into The Smiths and Morrissey...and MAYBE a bit about myself too! :)
I'm not exactly sure when I first heard them, or what the song was. It could have either been 'How Soon Is Now?' or 'Panic.' But I was 19 and still struggling through 12th grade in high school when I'd expressed an interest in them. I approached a school friend of mine (to whom I'm still indebted to this day) and asked him, I believe, to tape me some Smiths stuff. What I got was some stuff from Rank and the whole of Strangeways, Here We Come. I must have liked it because I went out and bought The Smiths Best...I. Somewhere along the line I'd gotten into Morrissey solo, recorded Viva Hate off of someone (before buying it later) and picked up Vauxhall And I as soon as it came out. Incidentally, it was Morrissey I'd actually gotten into first before The Smiths, and I'm not sure why since I prefer the latter to the former. It took me a while to get hooked onto The Smiths.
Silly Little Misconceptions
When you mention "The Smiths" to someone, what's the first thing they're likely to say? "Oh, they're so depressing!" Am I right? Thought so. That's what I thought for a long time myself. The Smiths were something to listen to if you were suicidal. Well, I can't say I was a happy child in retrospect, but perhaps then I was in denial. I was listening to other things at the time. I didn't think I was depressed enough to listen to The Smiths, so I really didn't. I thought 'Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now' was a song you'd listen to with a razorblade in your hand. You get the picture... Anyway, I eventually learned I was wrong. Or maybe I just ended up being in the right frame of mind to listen to them. (I'm currently undergoing psychotherapy for depression - unrelated to listening to The Smiths.) I really don't think they're depressing at all! Some of their songs might be, but there IS irony in the lyrics. I guess you just have to somehow understand Morrissey to "get it." Also, I know perfectly well-adjusted people who are Smiths fans, so depression has nothing to do with my obsession with them.
Morrissey Is My Soulmate!
Alright, that's probably jumping the gun a little bit. But, I really started getting into The Smiths after hearing The Queen Is Dead (didn't everybody?) and there were a few songs on there that really hit home. I thought after that, and after buying the rest of The Smiths' catalogue, that here was a man who understood me...understood every single thing I was thinking and feeling. I finally found someone who could relate to me like no one else could. Listening to songs like 'I Know It's Over' (from The Queen Is Dead) and 'That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore' (from Meat Is Murder) was a real eye-opening experience. After that, I embraced Morrissey (and the rest of The Smiths) with my heart and soul. The Smiths and Morrissey became someone I turned to for comfort when no one else could give it to me. To quote the man himself: "Now my heart is full, and I just can't explain so I won't even try to."** My thoughts and emotions now have a voice to express them like I probably never could...and I thank Morrissey from the depths of my being for that.
"That's The Story Of My Life..."
So there it is. My little story of what The Smiths and Morrissey mean to me and my very existence. Sometimes I wonder where I'd be without them. Maybe I'd be listening to something else. Maybe something happier. I don't care! Morrissey's lyrics, moreso with The Smiths have brought such meaning to my life. And listening to his beautiful voice always brings a smile to my face or tears to my eyes. Sometimes both. To Brock, if you're reading this, THANK YOU for introducing me to the greatest band in the world!!! And to Jeff, thanks for lending me The Queen Is Dead!!! Both of you have changed my life forever.
* reference from A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
** from 'Now My Heart Is Full' off of Vauxhall And I (1994) by, of course, Morrissey