***rain's lyric*** july 10th, 1998 9am, NO SLEEP!!
hmpf.
I'm damned tired...
why don't I just go to sleep?
I should.
oh well..
I'm going to just complain, and make incessant ramblings that make
absolutely no sense at all!
everything is wrong
nothing is right..
but how can this be..
there's got to be something worthwhile..
but I can't find it, I guess.
It sucks..
everyone around me is like..flipping out!!
It's not just me anymore..;p
I have a suicidal friend or two...
a friend who got his ex-girlfriend pregnant, and that has fucked up
parents that he needs to get away from..
so, he's moving away to another state with his pregnant ex!
and he's only 16!! what a fucking sad thing..awww, damnit..
Why do people depend on me...what can I really do???
eh, Dan..another image of a person, shattered, heh.
I'm such an idiot for saying that I love him, altho to be honest..
I still *think* I do, but hell..I don't even *really* know him..
so who am I kidding?
I'm going to forget about it all right now...I don't care anymore.
My dad just fucking called, I had to look up some damned internet settings
for him, cause he's fixing my aunt's computer..
It's fucking so early in the morning for me, and I haven't slept!!
I am so tired..writing this is not the easiest task..
ehh, my cousin came over yesterday.
we like..went to mountasia, and did putt-putt & video game shit.
It was actually a lot of fun :)
He stayed up with me most of the nite...but now he's gone, and
will be back in Arizona in a few days..
damn lucky bastard ;p
Tiffany (my best friend) is in Kentucky now!!
I get to see her soon, and we're going to go to Ozzfest together...
and other stuff..she better call me soon.
I don't know her dad's phone number.
Just her Arizona numbers...
anyway, so I guess there is one good thing..
I get to see my favourite person in the world, and it's not
too long from now.
I am SO SO happy for my friend, Cliff's band!!..(GONEMAD)
They got to be on MTV's "Say What?" with Matt Pinfield!!...
that's super good shit for them. yep.
I wish them all the best in the world..
I swear it's just so damned cool..
they're on a small tour right now, and shows are supposedly
going real well.
Wh00p!
eh, my eyez HURT!!
I was up all nite complaining to Jason about how I felt like I
was going to puke, while I was finding out about his problems..
my stomach aches do not compare at all, so maybe I shouldn't
even have mentioned it..oh well..
he doesn't care. he's a super cool guy..
and he sez that "I'm da fine chicky" ;p
I had a really bad night.
like I said..most people around me are all breaking down...
and I think I'm supposed to be the strong one for them?!
but who's supposed to be there for me?
no one can..cuz I don't trust anyone enough...
and I can't let go of my feelings...
I let them burn & blister inside, and I doubt I will change that
part of me...anytime soon.
I hold on to what I have, with all that I have...
good and/or bad.
***
take the needle & thread
to make a necklace of tears
wear your sorrow
as if it was the latest fashion statement...
-RaChEL
***
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