~*~rain's lyric~*~  "happier than ever, and almost complete"  03/04/2000

i am so far from where i want to be in life, but i am so much closer than i've ever been.
i have love.  i have financial stability, actually i'm rebuilding it, but it's a process i can deal with.  i'm helping myself get over my recurring spans of depression, trying
to keep a healthy outlook, and taking some herbal medications..i'm not truly sure if
they work, or if it's just a mental thing, but either way, it's helping.

in the love part of my life:
i'm seeing my boi, justin.  we've been together for just over 3 months.  and got
engaged around our first month anniversary.  mostly everyone thinks it's rediculous
that we're engaged.  *we haven't been together long enough* *we're too young*  
i hear it all, and i expect it.  the way i see it.  i'm happy.  dating, being engaged, 
married, whatever..is all a label on an aspect of life.  why should it matter if i'm
"engaged" at 19.  it's all in the way you view it, and from what i can see, it suits me.  anyway, if it's meant to be, it will be, that's what matters in the end.

i'm working, starting a new job this monday actually.  i fucked up at my last one and
got fired.  it was really stupid and lame...but i've learned from that mistake. 
i put in a 2nd job application last nite, i need to start saving up as much money as 
possible because justin & i are moving in together this summer.
i need to focus on what's important and get my shit together..california's quite far
away from ohio. i'm a little bit ~`scared~ *shrugs* oh well.  

overall, life is good.  i have to remind myself that i am so fortunate compared to some.
although i definitely don't feel that way half the time.
if i can maintain a mostly-positive outlook on life, maybe i'll find that true happiness
we're all searching for.

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