~*~rain's lyric~*~ "happier than ever, and almost complete" 03/04/2000
i am so far from where i want to be in life, but i am so much closer than i've ever been.
i have love. i have financial stability, actually i'm rebuilding it, but it's a process i can deal with. i'm helping myself get over my recurring spans of depression, trying
to keep a healthy outlook, and taking some herbal medications..i'm not truly sure if
they work, or if it's just a mental thing, but either way, it's helping.
in the love part of my life:
i'm seeing my boi, justin. we've been together for just over 3 months. and got
engaged around our first month anniversary. mostly everyone thinks it's rediculous
that we're engaged. *we haven't been together long enough* *we're too young*
i hear it all, and i expect it. the way i see it. i'm happy. dating, being engaged,
married, whatever..is all a label on an aspect of life. why should it matter if i'm
"engaged" at 19. it's all in the way you view it, and from what i can see, it suits me. anyway, if it's meant to be, it will be, that's what matters in the end.
i'm working, starting a new job this monday actually. i fucked up at my last one and
got fired. it was really stupid and lame...but i've learned from that mistake.
i put in a 2nd job application last nite, i need to start saving up as much money as
possible because justin & i are moving in together this summer.
i need to focus on what's important and get my shit together..california's quite far
away from ohio. i'm a little bit ~`scared~ *shrugs* oh well.
overall, life is good. i have to remind myself that i am so fortunate compared to some.
although i definitely don't feel that way half the time.
if i can maintain a mostly-positive outlook on life, maybe i'll find that true happiness
we're all searching for.
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