So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.



-- Machiavelli



Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.



-- Hippocrates



Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.



-- Timothy Leary



Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.



-- B.F. Skinner



The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.



--Carl Jung



To prove it could never reach the other side.



--Zeno



Give me ten minutes with that chicken and we'll find out.



--Tomas de Torquemada



A chicken at rest remains at rest; a chicken in motion remains in motion.



--Sir Isaac Newton



To boldly go where no hen has gone before.



-- Capt. James Tiberius Kirk



Driven by the lash of economic necessity.



--Karl Marx



It was a national security matter.



-- Col. Oliver North



Oh, never mind that chicken. She's from Barcelona.



-- Basil Fawlty



The telephone pole suggested a phallic symbol and like all female creatures she wanted to be dominated.



-- Sigmund Freud



It was her True Will to cross just that road on just that day.



--Aleister Crowley



We made her an offer she couldn't refuse.



--Vito Corleone



To kiss your skin, to lie with you in moonlight...



--Sappho



To impose a meaning upon her accidental existence.



--Jean Paul Sartre



To leave the place she knew for another place And to stay there for a while. And then to visit both places.



--T.S.Eliot



Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon the inertial system of the observer.



--Albert Einstein



To ask this question denies your own chicken nature.



--Buddha



It was the next step after coming down from the trees.



--Charles Darwin



All hens are endowed by Nature and Nature's God with the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of the other side.



--Thomas Jefferson



It was not merely that the chicken crossed the road, Watson, but that the three Russian midgets and the Italian oboe player did not also cross.



--Sherlock Holmes



To die. In the rain.



--Ernest Hemingway



To escape the crawling horror lurking on this side of the road, a nameless and foetid monstrosity that cannot be conceived save in the dreams of madness



-- H.P. Lovecraft



This Department recalls the distasteful incident of the Chainsaw Subliminals -- World falling -- Photo falling -- Breakthrough in hen yard -- Towers open fire -- A few may get through to the Gate in Time --



--William S. Burroughs



She was seduced by the dark side of the road.



-- Darth Vader



I will not use a chicken as a frisbee. I will not use a chicken as a frisbee. I will not use a chicken as a frisbee. I will not use



--Bart Simpson



Nostradamus predicted chicken/UFO horror!



--Weekly World News



I ate her liver. With fava beans. And a brandied cranberry sauce.

--Hannibal Lecter, M.D

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