I will not aim for the head

I will not skateboard in the halls

I will not barf unless I'm sick

I will not burp in class

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty

I will not instigate revolution

I saw nothing unusual in the teacher' lounge

I will not draw naked ladies in class

I will not conduct my own fire drills

I did not see Elvis

Funny noises are not funny

I will not call my teacher `Hot Cakes'

Garlic gum is not funny

I will not fake seizures

They are laughing at me, not with me

This punishment is not boring and meaningless

I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom

My name is not Dr. Death

I will not encourage others to fly

I will not defame New Orleans

I will not fake my way through life

I will not prescribe medication

Tar is not a plaything

I will not bury the new kid

I will not Xerox my butt

I will not teach others to fly

It's potato, not potatoe

I will not bring sheep to class

I will not trade pants with others

A burp is not an answer

I am not a 32 year old woman

Teacher is not a leper

I will not do that thing with my tongue

Coffee is not for kids.

I will not drive the principal's car

I will not eat things for money

I will not pledge allegiance to Bart

I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call

I will not sell school property

The principal's toupee is not a frisbee.

I will not cut corners

I will not squeak chalk

I will not get very far with this attitude.

Goldfish don't bounce

I will not make flatulent noises in class.

Mud is not one of the 4 food groups

I will not belch the National Anthem

No one is interested in my underpants.

I will not sell land in Florida

I will not sell miracle cures

I will not grease the monkey bars

Underwear should be worn on the inside

I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment

The Christmas pageant does not stink

I will not do anything bad ever again

I will not torment the emotionally frail

I will not show off

I will not carve gods

I will not sleep through my education

I will not spank others

I am not a dentist

I will not bribe Principal Skinner

Spitwads are not free speech.

I will finish what I start

Nobody likes sunburn slappers

"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender

High explosives and school don't mix

Hamsters cannot fly

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