Closer Now -- The Lyrics

What's Done Is Done
© 1999 by Don Rowe

We didn't know enough
To ask ourselves
We thought that our reward
Was living well
Hiding the secrets
That we dared not tell
Up until the time we fell
We counted love out
In dollars and cents
Everywhere we'd go
Too much was spent
Now it's time to pay
Our deepening debt
In the currency of sad regret

Tomorrow caught us
Tomorrow is today
We thought that it would never come
Tomorrow caught us
Too much to wish away
I guess what's done is done … is done

We thought we cared enough
To make love last
Could cry out loud enough
To hold love fast
As if illusion
Ever fills the space
Where true love is defaced
We circled closer
To our cruelty's flame
Harvested danger
Lived without shame
Until at last the fire
Burned away
What tenderness remained

Tomorrow caught us
Tomorrow is today
We thought that it would never come
Tomorrow caught us
Too much to wish away
I guess what's done is done … is done

Looking back we see
With perfect vision
All the imperfections
Of those days
But usually we make
Some small revisions
To clean up what our
Ego can't erase

Tomorrow caught us
Tomorrow is today
We thought that it would never come
Tomorrow caught us
Too much to wish away
I guess what's done is done … is done

It Won't Fit Behind Me
© 1999 by Don Rowe

Interstate highway's the straightest line
Shortest distance from the point of heartbreak
To some peace of mind
Is it far enough to fade the memory
Of lingering good-byes
Before heading out across those miles
I'm no coward anyone will tell you
Running's not my style
Not until I saw the damage
Inside her wounded smile

It won't fit behind me
For the first time
In this life I've lived so long
The space I put those
Memories in is gone
This time her pain
Will stay there
To remind me
Since it won't fit behind me

I'm almost wishing
I could turn around
Forget about forgetting her when I
Reach some other town
If my heart stopped beating for her why do
I still hear the sound

I don't know if love fell short
Or if it just fell through
If I make amends at the journey's end
Will this road lead back to you
Could be true but until then

It won't fit behind me
For the first time
In this life I've lived so long
The space I put those
Memories in is gone
This time her pain
Will stay there
To remind me
Since it won't fit behind me

Uncharted
©1999 by Don Rowe

Looking up into starless night
No trusted map upon the sky
To steer by, to guide me
To put my mind at ease
Was leaving wrong or right
Impulse or justified
Considering that pain
Defines all that I've gained

But I'll accept that as my fate
The faded love, the faded hate
And time my only friend
Here beside me in the end

Uncharted
So far now
From where I started
Uncharted
Unafraid to feel
So broken hearted
Drifting all the way
What to do what to say
Still unafraid to feel
Uncharted

Life's as painful as it was
I've softened to it just because
I'm older, so much older
More broken in than bolder
Courage born from years of use
Now loss of love is no excuse
I've lost it, I've caused it
And made my good use of it

Those I've loved, those I've known
Suggested which way I should go
And I complied, I don't know why
It's no surprise that I'm …

Uncharted
So far now
From where I started
Uncharted
Unafraid to feel
So broken hearted
Drifting all the way
What to do what to say
Still unafraid to feel
Uncharted

Then I Feel Your Hand
©1999 by Don Rowe

I think of love as feeling
Touch and taste and yet
I think of love like memory
Those things I can't forget
Love used to seem like needing
Always wanting wanting more
Love used to be a mystery
Some key without a door

Then I feel your hand
Caressing my heart
Holding my life
Striking the spark
Then I feel your hand
Painting my soul
Created from dreams
Keeping me whole
Now I understand
Then I feel your hand

I think of love as music
Steps taken in a dance
Love used to seem like gambling
Win or lose just take the chance
Love used to feel possessive
Holding tightly as it can
Crushing in the closeness
Between a woman and a man

Don't say you'll never leave me
I'll remember when you do
Don't say you'll stay forever
How can that be true?
Let us revel in our time
If I hold your hand in mine
Forever's everyday for me and you

Then I feel your hand
Caressing my heart
Holding my life
Striking the spark
Then I feel your hand
Painting my soul
Created from dreams
Keeping me whole
Now I understand
Then I feel your hand

Rosie's Place
© 2000 by Don Rowe

There's a place I know
Off Market street
It's been there twenty years
Filled with shadows dark and deep
An old familiar place
You know from countless songs
The smoky neon atmosphere
The cocktails plain and strong

So won't you meet me down
At Rosie's Place
Light another cigarette
Think of things you can't forget
Be who you want to be
Oh like we say at Rosie's Place
The talk is mighty cheap
But it ain't free
Fives and tens still turn to change
When you're at Rosie's Place

Once you wander in
You find instant friends
Smiling freeze-dried pals
Add another shot of gin
Keep on stopping by
Pretty soon you're one yourself
Handy with a cue or darts
But really not much else

But you can't blame it all
On Rosie's Place
The way life passed you by
And left you wondering why
Or how it came to be
Oh like we say at Rosie's Place
Think you've had enough
It's time to leave
We'll call a cab no that's okay
It's on Rosie's Place

Then one day you'll
Wander in and wonder
Where's everybody gone I used to know They're broke or barred
Moved on to different shadows
Or they've gone the way
That all hard drinkers go

Just walk away with me
From Rosie's Place
Light another cigarette
Think of things you can't forget
Be who you want to be
Oh like they say at Rosie's Place
The talk is mighty cheap
But it ain't free
Fives and tens still turn to change
When you're at Rosie's Place

Look Away
©2000 by Don Rowe

She's soft to touch but she's hard to hold
A fire burns but her house is cold
That distant sparkle in her eyes gives her control
So she'll change her clothes, she'll change her hair
The choice is made in silent prayer
To catch that breathless feeling from a stranger's stare

Then she'll look away
The moment's gone and she's still safe
Free to find the kind of thrill that stays
Just until she looks away

Another night another bar
Dressed to kill but still on guard
In case whoever looks at her should see her heart
The memories she carefully hides
Despite the loneliness inside
She doesn't want what she can't brush aside.

She'll just look away
The moment's gone and she's still safe
Free to find the kind of thrill that stays
Just until she looks away

The crowd around her moves in time
As couples dance in pairs and lines
But if she's asked she'll smile and just decline

Then she'll look away
The moment's gone and she's still safe
Free to find the kind of thrill that stays
Just until she looks away

The Ballad of Ray Bouche
©2000 by Don Rowe

He's called it home forever
Ward fifteen, room seven-oh-seven
That lonely place has been reserved
For Ray so far from heaven
Some say he's a madman
Some say he's a sage
Others bear the bruises
Of his silent, staring rage
They shot Ray full of thorazine
And bound him head to toe
How can such treatment help this man?
The way they say, as if they know

You smoke says Ray, you're smoky
Drugs and pills is all you do
You sit, you stand, you don't know why Whatever gets you through
You smoke says Ray, you're smoky
I'm the turtle in your shell
You read your books, you talk and talk
You must believe yourself

Ray's madness had a clarity
That broke their smothering grasp
And made the kind of memory
They hoped would never last
Some could only wonder
Some could only cry
Others only pitied
But they knew they'd found out why Somewhere in Ray's tortured shell
Beneath the mismatched wires
Lay trapped a feeling, caring man
With fears, hopes and desires

Today another lifelong guest
Resides in seven-oh-seven
Ray's quarters are much smaller
But closer now, to heaven
In another lonely numbered place
No stone no flowers mark the grave
Ray's epitaph lives in the minds
Of all who heard him say …

You smoke, oh yes, you're smoky
Drugs and pills is all you do
You sit, you stand, you don't know why Whatever gets you through
You smoke says Ray, you're smoky
I'm the turtle in your shell
You read your books, you talk and talk
You must believe yourself

Told myself this was
Something new
Like smokeless fire
Or roses blue
A chance for love
Without the fear
Familiar pain
Released from tears
But blue is wrong for roses
The strongest people cry
Where fire burns there's smoke
Another love another lie

Read the cards of my Gypsy fate
Learned the future
But far too late
One more memory
I can't erase
I'm captured by
A sweet embrace
But gypsies can't be trusted
The kiss was for goodbye
The future's still my fate
Another love another lie

So I'll light another candle
In the cloisters of my mind
For love too soon departed
For feelings left behind

Will I recognize
Love that's real I still believe
In how it feels
Although I've had
My share of wounds
The time still heals
It's coming soon
When love won't be deception
And I won't wonder why
I'll know I have escaped
Another love another lie

I went outside last night
First time this week I think
Haven't had the strength to move
Just enough to lift my drink
Of a finely aged surrender
Drain the glass then pour refills
Taking comfort in the pattern
Born of vintage from the still

The stars were shining up in space
Above low-flying clouds
The moon's a Mona Lisa
And a tear was still allowed
But it's all changed somehow

Now that I'm left alone
Granted the freedom I asked for
Though I'm out on my own
You left me the key to my own inner door
If I open it what will I see?
Will it be what you hoped for?

Will I find what you saw
And I tried to deny
Blushing as you smiled and said
It's what I could be if I tried
I guess I just wasn't willing
To buy your new improved me
I guess I couldn't imagine
I'd lose you to who I can't be
But now I look in the mirror
Still recognize my face
Might look a little tired
Nothing sleep cannot erase
In time your memory will fade

Now that I'm left alone
Granted the freedom I asked for
Though I'm out on my own
You left me the key to my own inner door
If I open it what will I see?
Will it be what you hoped for?

It all seemed so important
It looked and felt so real
That affair of self-reflected love
The kind I'd like to feel
Look out from where I'm standing
An expansive, perfect view
Those few details I tried to miss
They summed up parts of you

The fresco cracked and crumbled
Venus lost her lovely arms
Her shell gondola foundered
On the rocky coasts of charm
Now the sirens sing their beckoning
A tune that tries to warn

You might as well just
Fade away
You might as well just
Fade away
Forgiveness may be virtue
Maybe folly some would say
As the sun retreats
At close of day
You might as well just
Fade away

It's best to be invisible
Can't hurt what can't be seen
No one sneaks up from behind
No ribs to slip the knife between
I know I might be dreaming
Of a life I just can't live
Too bad I just can't bring myself
To take more than I give

That crazy sense of fairness
Is what put me in harm's way
That foolish need for closeness
Beguiled and then betrayed
No need for foolish messages
No one left to hear them say

You might as well just
Fade away
You might as well just
Fade away
Forgiveness may be virtue
Maybe folly some would say
As the sun retreats
At close of day
You might as well just
Fade away

That's just what I'd like to do
Since truth won't set me free
My Cheshire Cat companion
He won't stop telling me

You might as well just
Fade away
You might as well just
Fade away
Forgiveness may be virtue
Maybe folly some would say
As the sun retreats
At close of day
You might as well just
Fade away