The devil went down to Salem, she was looking for a soul to steal
She was in a bind cause she was way behind and wasn't willin to make no deals.
When she came across a young man who wasn't sexy or very hot,
She jumped up on his bed and said, "Hey boy lemme tell you what.
"Now you put the moves on first, but give the devil her due.
I have a pregnancy test against your soul, cause I think I can win you."
Well the man said, "My name's Austin, and it might be an affair.
But I'll take your bet you're gonna regret, because I really can't compare."
Carrie better run to Doc Horton and lock your door up hard
Cause the devil's loose in Salem, and she especially deals at hearts.
If Austin wins you're in trouble cause you know that you're his goal.
But if he'll lose, the devil gets his soul.
Well the devil put on an evil grin and said, "I'll start this show."
And nusea flew from her eyes and a kiss she started to sew.
When she touched her fingers to his abs it made an evil hiss.
Then Austin himself joined in, and it sounded somethin like this..
(If you just think of the little 6th graders that are in general music, and it comes time for them to play the recorders in their unit, trust me, you'll now this musical interlude)
Well Austin smoothed back his hair said, "You're digusting, you putrid son of a gun.
Just sit back in that chair right there, and let me show you how it's done!"
Round and round Mike and Carrie run.
Sami's in the bedroom, watch out for guns
Austin's in the bathroom picking his nose
While Mike is giving Carrie a rose.
(Now, it's playing something pretty like, "How Do I Live?">
Austin hung his head because he knew that he'd been beat
And he layed Carrie's engagement ring on the ground at Sami's feet.
Mike told Austin as he walked away, "Don't you ever try it again.
I done told you once, you son of a *****, I'm the best that's ever been."