(if you made it this far, God bless you...)
by Jennifer Sample
One day, in Kansas, lived Carrie Ann and her trusty dog BradyTodo. One day, Carrie Ann was on her little farm playing with her dog BradyTodo, and a huge tornado came and took her and her entire farm to the little town of Avon Uncalling. The house landed on Sami the witch of the East. Carrie stepped out of the house a little confused as the munchkins did their dance. Nichole, The good witch of the north, told Carrie if she wanted to get back to Kansas she was going to have to go down the yellow brick road. Carrie started down, and she met the ScareFro, Austin, who had not yet discovered the art of shaving. There, Carrie made the biggest mistake of her life: she married the ScareFro Austin, if he only had a brain.... As she continued down the path, she met the Gin man, Lucas, who has had drinking problems in the past. Then, as Carrie continued, she met the true love of her life: the Cowardly Horton, Mike. Mike instantly fell in love with Carrie, but there was nothing he could do about it. Carrie got to the palace where the Wizard of Salem lived, but just as she did the evil Witch of the West, Ali showed up with her band of morons, including Nancy and Craig. They munipulated Mike and everyone, and took the bunch to Ali's lair. There, Carrie and Ali had a cat fight and Ali accused her of being in love with Mike. Carrie Ann then confessed that was the truth. Ali screamed and melted into a pile of mascara. The Cowardly Horton, Mike, was relieved that Carrie Ann had feelings for him too, and the ScareFro Austin was so shocked he disappeared down the yellow brick road with his usual blank stare. Carrie Ann went to the Wiz's palace, only to find out that the Wiz was actually Stefano back for to play one last trick on everyone. Carrie Ann knew this meant she would not get home, And just as she was about to kiss the Cowardly Horton, she woke up and who else was sitting by her bed, except Mike Horton. She told him all about her dream and she and Mike lived happily together, Amen.