sponsored by 59 Do-nuts
1. do not eat pine needles
2. do not hit your head against large solid objects
3. do not attempt to drink coke through your nose
4. do not put Crazy Glue in an old Visine bottle
5. do not sit on the third rail, even if there's a sign on it that tells
you to do so
6. do not ignite road flares near your crotch
7. do not eat poinsettia
8. do not smoke anything with a fungus on it...well, then again...
9. do not sit in the direct path of swiftly moving Mac trucks
10. do not call your mother collect from Abudabi ( unless she happens to
live there)
11. do not test electrical equipment with your genitals
12. do not floss with barbed wire
13. do not eat the yellow snow
14. do not yell fire in a movie theatre
15. do not crash into old women or young beautiful women with nice boobs
16. do not iron your trousers while you are still wearing them
17. do not blast your headphones
18. do not hit on my girlfriend
19. do not drink and drive
20. do not pee on your neighbors car
21. do not strap plastic explosives to your chest if you do not intend
to die
22. do not fall asleep with white chocolate in your shirt pocket
23. do not keep secrets
24. do not invest in large amounts of drugs
25. do not go to Mr. Cricket shows
26. do not swim for three hours after you eat
27. do not change your sex
28. do not click "Reply to all" when sending an e-mail
29. do not go outside naked in December or January
30. do not bite off more than you can chew
31. do not change you name to something stupid, like Moonbeam Lite
32. do not walk through Central park in the rain and on acid in December
33. do not mosh
34. do not fart in elevators
35. do not skate on the thin ice of a new day
36. do not eat in class
37. do not cut photography class
38. do not make stupid faces while you play guitar
39. do not talk with you mouth full
40. do not inhale household cleansers
41. do not over compensate
42. do not do today what you can put off till tomorrow
43. do not underestimate the power of the force
44. do not whiz on the electric fence
45. do not tempt fate with sexy lingerie and Belgian chocolates
46. do not repeat yourself
47. do not repeat yourself
48. do not support the KKK
49. do not talk to stranger unless they are selling drugs
50. do not play Frisbee with saw blades
51. do not buy pants from a homeless man
52. do not use a rubber glove in place of a condom
53. do not ride the bus in the rain
54. do not look directly at the sun
55. do not give your money to charities such as "joe's unhappy charity"
56. do not experiment
57. do not get a channel 13 tote bag
58. do not try to be someone you're not
59. do not dislike me