I leaned back against the bathroom door and took a deep breath. God obviously didn't believe in the one thing at a time rule. First my fight with Kevin, then my confrontation with my parent and now I was apparently coming down with something since I had bee throwing up for the last two day..
That's how long I had been home as well. I had called Serena to let her know I was back and coming got get Colt. She and Nick had begged to keep him for a few more days to keep a promise they had made to him to go skiing. Kevin had returned to Orlando the day before I left for Louisville so I was all alone. I had never been alone.
I had time on my hands. I could have done anything I wanted for the first time without having to worry about Colt or Serena or even Kevin. I had all the time I could ask for. Yet I was bored and lonely beyond words. I wanted to talk to someone. One person in particular came to mind as I reached for the phone
"Hello?"
I smiled at the sound of Ann Richardson's voice. "Hi, Ann. It's Hunter," I greeted.
"Hunter, how are you honey? How's my grandson?" she asked and I could hear her smile through the line.
"We're surviving," I answered, wondering if her son had clued her in on our ongoing situation.
"Honey, you need to do a lot more than survive love. You have to make it thrive. I hear my son made an ass of himself in front of you and Colt."
So she knew.
"Who told you?" I asked.
"Would you believe Kevin did? Called crying his eyes out like a little boy telling me he had screwed up and possibly lost the best thing in his life, both of them," she added.
"He didn't loose us. Not unless he wants to. He got scared, I got scared. People afraid do stupid things," I admitted.
"I knew there was a reason I liked you so much. So tell me something. What are you doing in Colorado while my son is in Florida?" she questioned.
"I'm not feeling too good and Colt is with Nick and Serena," I answered, feeling my stomach go crazy again. "Hold on, Ann," I said, dropping the phone and running for the bathroom.
A few moments later I scooped the phone back up and lay down on my bed.
"I'm sorry, Ann. I don't know what's wrong with me," I apologized.
"How long have you been this sick?" she asked.
"Just a couple of days and I'm so tired and run down."
"Honey, do you remember what it felt like to be pregnant with Colt?" she asked, laughing softly.
"Vaguely. I was sick and tired all the time," I answered then fell silent. "Are you suggesting what I think you are suggesting, Ann?"
"I don't know. You tell me."
"No, I can't be. Can I?" I whispered into the phone.
"I don't know, Hunter. Can you?" Ann echoed.
"No," I answered, shaking my head and removing the thought completely. "It's not possible. I can't be. Not now when things are all mixed up with us."
"Like they were perfectly straight with Colt," she said, laughing again..
"Ann," I whined. "That's not fair. It wasn't suppose to be like this," I complained, sitting up again.
"It wasn't suppose to be that way with Colt either, honey. Or was it? You know these things happen for a reason. Maybe it's a sign that things are heading down a better path," she suggested gently.
"Do you think Kevin will hate me? He's having a hard enough time adjusting to Colt. We're still trying to figure this all out without adding to it."
"Hunter, Kevin could never hate you. No matter what was said or done or what you're future holds he'll never hate you. Not even if you wanted him too so you could get out of loving him."
"I couldn't stop loving Kevin without stopping my heart from beating. He's my heart and soul like Colt is, Ann. I would give up everything for him, but I'm afraid he'll have to give up more than he is willing to if he's going to love us and make us a part of his life."
I flopped back on to the pillows and waited for her motherly advice. Her's was the kind of advice I should have gotten when I was pregnant with Colt, when my whole world was changing. Yet another reason why I wished Kevin had been a part of Colt's life from the beginning. Ann would never have let us struggle like that.
"Kevin's learning that his love for you is going to have to come before every mistake the three of you make. Now you have to learn that your love for him is going to have to come before those same mistakes," she answered.
"Thank you, Ann."
"For what, honey?"
"For pointing me in the right direction. I need to go. I have to book a flight to Orlando. I have to tell Kevin he's going to be a father. Again," I added, grinning.
"Oh, you don't know for sure though, Hunter."
"Yes, I do. To make you feel better though I will go see my doctor as soon as possible," I promised.
"Good girl. And Hunter?"
"Yes, Ann?"
"Call me Mom," she said.
I watched the way Kevin slept, the way he breathed, the way he lay. With the blanket tangled around his waist, I stood in the doorway of his bedroom in his Orlando home. His sleep was fitful. He tossed and turned and moaned. He was miserable, miserable without Colt and I.
Quickly and quietly, I moved towards his bed. I climbed on next to him careful not to disturb his slumber.
He was so beautiful even in that tortured state. He was strong and he was true and he was forever. He loved blinding and completely, even through the mistakes. He was strength and trust and comfort. He was home, the missing piece to Colt and I. He was every breath, every heartbeat, every moment I had ever cherished. He was love.
His lashes fluttered and a moment later I was staring into the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen.
"Hunter," he gasped, struggling to sit up.
"Shh," I said, touching his chest to still him. "Me first."
Propped up on my elbow, I was leaning over the man who had given me every precious gift in my life.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for attacking you the way I did and for not giving you a chance to calm down and for shutting you out. I'm sorry I cut you off from Colt and I'm sorry I ran away from you and I'm sorry we missed so much time. I screwed up, but the truth is we both did. I told you to be careful. I warned you that you would get hurt. I neglected to warn myself. I got jealous and I resented you not being there when there was no way you had any control over it. I let a past hurt haunt my present and almost ruin my future. I almost ruined us, but the truth is we almost ruined us. Neither one of us really understood just what was happening. Everything we had ever known was changing. We forgot to realize that we were going to have to change to. I'm sorry, Kevin. And I know you're sorry. I see it in your eyes. Now we go from there. We get past the pain and the pride and we find out just how this works, this family thing, this being in love thing. We find out how we work," I finished, touching his face gently as I lost myself in his eyes. He smiled and touched my face in turn.
"How did you get in here?" he asked. I grinned.
"The little man himself. Nick gave me his key, stole our son, and told me not to let you out of the house till I was wearing my engagement ring again. You got a hell of a friend in him, Kevin," I said, smiling.
"We've got a hell of a friend in him. He loves you too, baby girl," he corrected.
"I missed that," I answered.
"Missed what?"
"You calling me baby girl, falling asleep to the sound of your voice, waking up to your love, and seeing your smile through the day."
"I'm sorry, Hunter. I don't know what I was thinking going after Colt like that. He must hate me," Kevin said, looking away. Gently, I turned his face back to me.
"He loves you more than anything and he'll never stop loving you. Yes, you hurt him. Yes, you scared him. Yes, you acted without thought but he understands that. He forgives you and he's more than willing to give this father/son thing another try. He's just waiting for you to tell him the same thing."
"Serena said you told her not to let me near him though," Kevin said, his face now wearing an expression of confusion.
"I did. I thought you both needed time. He's twelve, Kevin. Everything he's ever believe had changed, he had fallen completely with the man he had idolized turned father. You scared the hell of him and he needed a chance to figure out how to react to all that. You needed time too. To figure out what you did wrong, what I did wrong. I needed time too."
I sat up then and fixed my eyes to the sheet beneath me. Kevin knew everything about me. My pain, my dreams, my love. Now it was time to let him in on what had haunted me.
"I was terrified of loving you, of trusting you because the only people I had ever believed in had turned against me on my first mistake. I was scared you would do the same thing because they haunted me.
"I went back to Louisville for a few days, saw my parents. I let go of whatever it was haunting me. I told them what they had done to me, what they missed out on, what I had done for myself. Then I walked away. I won't let their mistake hurt me anymore," I confessed, looking back at Kevin.
"I lay awake every night I was without you trying to figure out how I could get you to love me again, to get Colt to love me again. I was a fool and I almost lost the two best things to ever come into my life," Kevin said, touching my face, smiling at me.
"Three things," I corrected, kissing his lips gently.
"Excuse me?"
"Three things," I repeated, smiling.
"Are you saying what I think you are saying?" he asked.
"You sound like I did when I was talking to you mother," I laughed.
"Hunter, are you....I mean am I.....That is, are we....?"
"Yes, we are," I answered the question he couldn't quite form.
"We're going to have a baby?"
"Well, technically I am having it but you get to help after that," I teased.
"I'm getting a second chance. To do it right this time?"
"If you want to."
"Baby girl, if you don't marry me as soon as possible I'll go crazy. Let's go get our son and tell him," Kevin said, kissing me.
"Are you happy about this baby, Kevin?"
"I couldn't be happier. I love this one as much as I love the first one and as much as I love the mother."
"Smart man. I knew you would make the right choice."
"Jerald Scott Richardson, don't you dare," I screamed, running from my second oldest child as he chased me with the water hose.
"What's wrong, Mom?" eight-year-old Jerald teased.
"Get her, Jer," twenty-one-year-old Colt urged, laughing from the porch where he held his two-year-old sister Sarah Ann.
"Kevin," I screamed, heading for my husband for help.
"Stop! I have a child and I'm not afraid to use her," Kevin threatened, pulling our five-year-old daughter River Christine in front of him.
"Nick," I cried, turning toward my friend.
"Can't help," he answered, ducking behind his wife and my best friend Serena were she held their two-month-old daughter Crissy.
"Nicky!"
"Sorry, Hunter," Serena and Nick's six-year-old answer, shrugging as he laughed.
I gave up and ran straight for Jerald laughing. He soaked me with the water hose but when I got to him I picked him up in a hug soaking him as well.
"Mom," he cried, laughing and struggling to get free.
"Brat," I answered, kissing him. "Let's get your Dad and your sister," I whispered.
"Cool," he answered, grinning his father's grin.
"Oh, Kevin! River," Jerald called out.
"Run," Kevin ordered his daughter, taking off.
Jerald went after his sister while I ran for Kevin. A moment later I tackled him to the ground.
"Gotcha," I yelled on top of him.
"Get off me, woman. You way a ton," Kevin teased, smiling up at me.
"Pregnant women usually way a lot," I answered, grinning.
"Again?" he whispered.
"What can I say? I married a very virile man," I said, kissing him.
"I might have to just cut you off for a few year. Give me a chance to relax."
"Cut me off or cut you off?" I teased.
"Good point," he answered, kissing me.
"Right choice."
"I make a lot of them."
A moment later we were drowning in the spray from the hose. "Yucky mushy moment," Colt yelled as he hosed us down.
"Get him," Kevin and I yelled jumping up and chasing him.
We were so happy. We had been together for nearly ten years adding on to our family every so often. Kevin and I had married a month after patching things up. That was a week after Serena and Nick announced they had eloped.. We had found were we belonged in life, with the ones we belonged with. We were loved and taken care of and happy. Every moment of life is filled with a choice. Wrong ones and rights one, but in the end they lead you to the place that you belong. Mine led me to Kevin.
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