*THE* Yearbook Story

One fine day, there was a good looking man walking down the street. Sighing, he began to feel like an ALTER MANN. . . After so many years of being a grand SEEMANN, he had a strong SENSUCHT to be back on land again. Only to find his ENGEL, who had taken up a job as DAS MODELL for a major designer, had left him for this wonderful designer- who looked like a nice guy, but in truth, he was a complete TIER who suffered from a sever case of EIFERSUCHT.

Anyway, the man- known as Till Lindamenn (NOOOOOOOOOO relation to Till Lindeman) carried on walking down the street and passed a couple of girls hanging out with a guy. Till shook his head as he carried on, knowing that they were using KOKAIN for their pleasure. "DU RIECHST SO GUT," Till heard a man say to a laughing girl who were following him. Till stopped. He had recognized the voice! Turning, he saw that it was his good friend, Christoph Schneide (no relation to Christoph Schneider) and a red/brown haired girl- Miss Elaine Gillies (yes, there is a relation to Elaine Gillies). After an enthusiastic hello-- and a kiss for Elaine (ooooooh!)-- Till motioned to the WILDER WEIN restaurant across the street. "We can talk there and catch up on what we've missed!"

Christoph, Till, and Elaine went to the restaurant and sat down. While eating their lunch and talked about the sea, stories, past, songs-- basically everything from ESKIMOS AND EGYPT to the infamous German RAMM STEIN, which Till has accidently hit himself with instead of a microphone. Elaine laughed and cried out, "BÜCK DICH!!!" making Till and Christoph laugh, too.

The loud statement made of out pervertedness caught the attention of the blond sitting at the KLAVIER, playing FEUERRÄDER. Looking tot he table, he grinned and gestured to the two short guys sitting at the table beside him, kicking back a couple of vodkas. "DER MEISTER's back!" he joked, making a tugging gesture on an invisible collar around his neck. The three guys made their way to the table.

The shortest guy-- an attention lover-- snuck up behind Till and, grinning, asked "HEIRATE MICH????" close to Till's ear, making Till jump slightly. Christoph, Elaine, and Till turned around, jumping up to greet the three guys. "AHH! Richard, Paul and Flake Lorrens! You're here too!"

****Elaine was VERY much pleased with how the day was going****

So, the whole group was together again---

Or was it?

Paul Linders (no relation to Paul Landers) looked around with a frown. "We're missing two people. We can't jam without those two!"

Richard Krussp (absolutely zippo relation to Richard Kruspe) grinned. "Oh yeah!" He laughed and winked at Elaine. "Mizz Izzy still needs to BESTRAFE MICH for that joke I played on her!"

Elaine looked up at him with a big, mischievous (and infamous) grin. "And we all know just how much you want THAT!!!!!"

"Who wants WHAT??" a girl's voice asked. "What's going on here?" A short girl with brown hair-- grinning-- approached the table, standing beside a REALLY tall German guy. The "Youngin'" as she called him.

"Haha! There they are," Flake said happily. The group got up AGAIN. Jokingly, Christoph (still no relation to Mr Schneider) went to Miss Izzy and tickled her, "KÜSS MICH FELLFROSCH!". She laughed and smacked him in the head. . . "You need a woman, Chrissy. You need one bad."

"Awww." Christoph pretended to look hurt, but he wasn't suffering from HERZELEID because he could always bug her later.

****Haha****

Oliver Ridel (no relation to Ollie Riedel) laughed and ordered a vodka, too. The completed group sat down and began to talk.

"So, YOU HATEd to be away from all of us, eh?" Paul smiled. "Nice to know."

"We missed you too, Till. DAS ALTE LEID in my . . . um . . . Ankle has come back," Elaine told him. Here we go again. . .

Till laughed and raised his glass. "It's good to be back." He sat up. "Wait!!!" Reaching under the table, he pulled something out from under the table cloth. His FLAME THROWER!

******Wait, we don't want to KNOW where he got the flame thrower.*****

******It's a long story.*******

Anyway, he stood up, yelling, "WOLLT IHR DAS BETT IN FLAMMEN SEHEN?!?!?!?" Of course, the restaurant wasn't a bed, but close enough. The people understood it. They all left the restaurant in a panic.

"WOOHOOOO! More food for us!" Elaine cheered, then ran to the kitchen with Richard in tow to find the cookies. Izzy laughed as Elaine yelled, "They're magically delicious!"

No one head her add, "Mmmmmm. Like TILL!!!!!"

****Are we surprised?**** Elaine returned with a mouthful of cookies- something like Serena (Sailor Moon) and Richard followed with more vodka . . . well, except for Izzy. Izzy passed it up for-- gag-- COKE!

Elaine sat down and pointed to Flake. "They had ANGEL food cake, Flake, but we decided cookies are much more magical."

Flake said nothing but smiled.

Ollie started singing LAICHZEIT, but Paul threw a purple (ooh, purple!) hakey sack at him, hitting him in the head. "Wrong song, man. We're not eating fish today. That's next Thursday. Sing ASCHE ZU ASCHE. It's cooler."

****Who says these guys have to make sense all the time?****

Flake poked Elaine in the knee, making her jump back, "owww." He pointed to Till, who was sitting there, grinning with a nasty, perverted-- something like the look Elaine had earlier-- look on his face. He gestured for her to come closer. So she did. When she was close enough, he said . . . . . . . .

****Wait, think about it. What do you THINK he's say to her???? Two people with sick minds. THINK ABOUT IT!****

"Hows about you and your WEISSES FLEISCH have a little fun with me and Blondie over there?" Elaine looked at him, her face a horrified expression, then she burst out laughing. She knew what was going on. "BÜCK DICH!!!!!!!!!!"

Well, Christoph had the same idea and again, made a move on Izzy. "SPIEL MIT MIR?"

****What do you think she said to this?****

"I'm finding you a woman, Chrissy. You're desperate . . . .Richard!!!! QUICK! Where's that white dress of yours?"

"AGHH........! I'll pass." Chris made a face and poked Izzy in the ribs. She glared at him and poked Elaine in the arm.

So, hours later, when the group had decided to have a kick ass jam session, they ended up singing both versions of DU HAST and had a great time. Eating hot dogs and dip, washed down with a big glass of milk.

****Till forgot about the woman****

****Elaine got hooked up with Till*****

****Richard found his white dress****

****Paul found an interesting dinner in ceiling tiles****

****Flake managed to put on his dog collar****

****Ollie almost killed Paul when his baby was almost dropped-- his laptop****

****Izzy and Elaine had an awesome time singing****

****Christoph tried to hook up with Izzy, but it didn't go that way****

****Elaine had a WONDERFUL time****

So, here ends the story of when Till Lindemann, Christoph Schneider, Richard Kruspe, Paul Landers, Flake Lorenz, Ollie Riedel, Elaine Gillies, and Izzy got together and scared the &%*@ out of a German restaurant.

WAIT.....no.....that's not their names....I mean...I mean....AGHHHHHHHHH!!!

******but we know the TRUTH, riiiiiiiiiiight? MMMMMMMMMMM RAMMSTEIN!******