Sweet and tenderly

When I'm lost/You shine a light for me and set me free /When I am low You wash away my tears/And take me through _____________________________________________________________________ " So you lost again . How many times are you going to keep trying to beat me ? You know I never lose ." Jordan smilled as she said that . He'd know Chrissy since she was 11 and ever since then thay had been friend even tough they had 8 years between them . They were playing cards like they did almost evey Wendsday evening for the past 3 years actually it was because he had ,had so much time on his hands up till know and the realese of his new album . He always let her win because when she lost she pouted and he could not stand that . "Oh, I think I'll keep trying . Maybe someday luck will find me ."It was 10 pm and he really was dreading leaving . That was the worst part of the night , the anti-climax when it was time to go . For a few short hours they both in there minds could pretend that things were different . Chrissy loved to dream that Jordan her husband and any moment he was going to sweep her up in his arms and carry her up the stairs for what would surley be an unforgetable experence . He on the other hand liked to think that they were living togther . Jordan just wasn't big on marrige . The one girl he thought about marring had burned him so bad it really had no appeal at all . It's funny really niether knew the other felt that way because they had met when she was so young it had always seemed wrong to feel that way . Chrissy had turned 20 in June and they had celibrated it . One of Jordan's former band mates and friend Joe had asked Chrissy out and they found they could only be friends in fact he had become her closest confidant about her feelings for Jordan . Jordan on the other hand confided in Donnie . Donnie's new girlfriend Suz had seen it and asked Chrissy about it once but she just laughed it off . In any other situation Jordan and Chrissy would have called the other one first . He once thought about it about 2 months before , how when he was on the road and nothing could make him smile she could a phone call was all it took .No matter how much things changed she was his constant.Evey boyfriend that hadn't worked out for her Jordan had been and still was her shouder to cry on . "Hey Jordan I have a small favor to ask."Chrissy smilled knowing the forthcoming groan,"I have a friend I think would be perfect for Joe."Jordan's groan ,"Jordan didn't Heather and AJ or Nick and Kati work out ? Just meet her first , I know Jen would be the perfect match for Joey . She's my age with black hair it'll get him out of that brunette slump he's had since Nina ." he groaned one more time and she new it was time to play hard ball . She wanted Joe to be happy but she need Jordan's permission so she wouldn't feel guilty going behind his back .Chrissy walked around the table and sat on Jordan's lap and looked up into his deep eyes with her blue grey ones ,"Please , Jordan you'll never regret it ." He looked down at her and sighed....... the next day " Jen all systems go . Jordan gave in and Friday he's having a party , so Joe won't be on a blind date . He wants you 2 to meet with no pressure so Joe has no clue ." "Chrissy is that fair to Joe ?" "Joe will forgive me once the two of you meet . Listen I have class then practice . Call me later and will go shop for the perfect outfit for Friday ." "Bye ." They said in unison and laughed . Later that day

The lonliness/and emptiness /Through the darkest night/Somehow I survive Through it all ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "You miss him don't you Kati?"Chrissy asked her friend . Kati's fiance was Nick Carter of BSB and he was on tour ."I know how you feel kind of.When NKOTB was out Jordan was gone all the time . I remeber he missed my 13th birthday because of the NMG tour and I felt so affriad that I had lost him some how . He didn't call and I cried myself to sleep . I just knew because he had the girl he was dating then he would forget about me . I went through some very dark hours . I wanted nothing to do with anybody but if I acted on it people around us might have thought more was going on than what was . Finally about a week later I woke up to somebody staing at me . It was Jordan in the flesh . He'd brought me the biggest bear you've ever seen and it was so cute . He told me he hadn't called because he wanted to surprise me ." she smilled at the younger girl (Kati is 19 ) ,"You'll get through it . At least you can say I love you tp him everynight and you know your never far from his heart and mind and I don't want to know what else."Kati through a living room pillow at Chrissy and shook her head , her short brown hair moving slightly . " I don't know how you do it . Making light out a sad sitation .You love Jordan , don't deny it , yet you treat him like he's a friend . Close friend but friend none the less ."Kati look at the other girl with her long red hair falling forward to hide the sadness in her face ,"His other girlfriends and all how do you make it through ?" "I learned young how to survive. I just never let my guard up when he's around . I think my Mom knows and you know and Joe of course Suz thinks she knows but I want to keep it quite .I don't want to lose him and thats the only thing I don't think I can make it through ."she looked up her eyes breamed with tears ," It would be the worst thing that could happen to me .Sometimes I think about it and I cry ."Kati knew it was time to change the subject . " So tell me more about Friday's party . I can;t wait Nick and all the guys are going to be there!!" Jordan's Place

"Donnie , why in the world can she talk me into anything ? Remeber the time she wanted to learn how to ballroom dance and she needed a partner 3 weeks of lessions before she got the fact that she really didn't like ballroom dancing . Or how about the time she talked me into taking her camping ? She hates the out doors 3 in the morning and she hears something decides it a bear and makes me take her home . Home is a 4 hour drive . Jon and Howie are still picking on me for that." Jordan put his head in his hands and shook it . Donnie got a wicked grin . " Maybe one day she'll want to have a baby and you'll finally get what you want ,HER!Face it man your in love with the girl . We never talk for more then 5 minutes before Chrissy this and Chrissy that."Donnie laughed,"Your as wiped as Danny and I are . Ask her out man just do it . I have it on good authorty she won't say no ." "Who?" Jordan asked "Her Mom."

When you tell me I'm the only one you need --------------------------------------------------------------------- Thursday Evning

The radio softly played "Anytime" by Brian McKnight and Chrissy thought of Jordan .His eyes seemed to reach her very soul and his mouth if only once she could feel it...... " Earth to Chrissy , are you in there somewhere our am I visting the wrong house ?"Angie laughed as her friend grimenced .,"Are you going to tell me about it our do I have to figure it out for myself ?" "The latter dear Angie . Tonight I have more important things to do then tell you about my zoneing place. Tommorows the party are you not a little bit excited . You are meeting Brian?" " Hell yes!" Jordan on speacher phone

" I need some advise guys."Jordan was on the phone with all of BSB and Joe and Donnie . His brother was in the room with Jon was full of bad advise .That he didn't need , he fellas would know what to do . " You already know what I think J." Donnie pipped up . " What's up ?"Nick asked "Jordan's having woman problems . He wants to ask one out but he's not sure he should ." Joe said "How is the girl ?" Kevin asked "He won't tell us but I think Donnie knows?"Brian said "AHA!" Joe yelled , "I know .Who is the only woman to cause him this much trouble ?" "Chrissy!!" they all replied in unison "I've got a plan J and your party tommorow will be perfect !" Howie said then proceded to tell everyone (you'll all find out the plan later )" We need some help though Donnie get Suz to help and Keven you get Taryn, AJ will get Heather and I'll call Kat . Somebody tell Danny . The rest you know what to do ."

Friday Morning

After staying up most of the night with Angie ,Kati, and Jen Chrissy really didn't need the 7 am wake up call from Jordan . " Baby listen we have moved the party to the cabin ." " What cabin Jordan?" " Your Mom's . I asked her last night and it was ok with her ." Jordan grinned to himself on the other end . SO far the plan was going well . When woken up early she never over question just hurried the converstion so she could go back to sleep until 9 . ," Now remeber 8 pm sharp . I've got all the guys covered at the airport and from the way you sound you handled the girls . How many times have I told you , you don't handle not getting any sleep well . Remeber the time you had less then 8 hours and you tryied to hold my head under water just because I told you you had some dark circles ?" " Jordan, F*** you . Now I'm going back to sleep . Or I'm coming over to kick you butt your decide ?" "Nighty Night .I know you'll be dreaming of me." Jordan laughed as she groaned . Chrissy could hardly go back to sleep Jordan was acting so strangely . He never acted like that before . Dream of me my ass , and by the way how did he know what she dreamed of ? It's not like he could read minds , or could he ? Oh no she thought to herself, I'm going as insane as he has . Deciding tha sleep was way out of her reach she took a shower and got dressed for her 10:30 class about 2 hours earlier than she usually did . "Chrissy honey Nic is on the phone ." Chrissy's Mom yelled up the stairs . Nic was Jon Knights live in girl friend and was also one of her friends . " Nic , what's up girl ? Calling me at 8:30 in the morning . One would think you've got better things to do at that time . Living with Jon the Stud !" both girls laughed .It was a common joke about Jon , with his new horse ranch where he rasied horses and sold studing serveces out . " Well thats who I called you about . He's acting real funny . When I asked why he won't tell me . I caught him in the shower singing 'Step by Step' and saying it was like the old days again . The only thing I know about the old days is that they were the biggest group in the world . I know you know more so help !"Nic pleaded " Well the old days lets see ." Chrissy paused in thought ,"Well they were always into something or another plans and schemes . I had the feeling they were insane at least Donnie was . " " Well I'm starting to think Jon is the most insane of them all!" "Actually thinking about it Jordan was acting funny this morning as well ."Chrissy told Nic all about it and then they hung up the phone . 11:30am after class

Jen and Chrissy were sitting in the student lounge and Chrissy had told Jen about everything going on this morning and the change in venue of the party . When Kati came in and said she would drive Jen to the party tonight because she was going that way to get Nick from the airport anyways .

Mom's cabin

" Jordan , I hope for you this works out . But I think she might kick your ass for lying about the party change ." Joe looked over at Jordan as he placed the candles in the brass holders . "You know Kevin never did this for me . Maybe I should be mad but he's just to cute to be mad at ." Taryn laughed," I think she'll love it . Besides Joe what do you know about what a woman thinks . Unless the rumors where true." she winked at him . She was happy because her baby was coming home tonight and she would get to see him after 3 weeks of seperation . ,"Kevin told me that he loves the plan and I have to agree ." " The delivery men have their orders . The one for here will arrive at 7pm and be out by 7:30 . The one going to Chrissy's will be there at 5pm and Kati and Angie will be there and they've talked to Jen who'll be there to . Taryn and Heather will show up at 5:30 under the pretence of needing help to help out the plan , followed at 6:30 by Suz and Kat."Jon read off the list .,"If we tell Nic the plan she could help . I know Donnie before you even say it she told Suz when you proposed before you were going to but she was excited . This ones diffrent Chrissy has become like a little sister to us she'd want this to be a surprise ." "Ok Jon call her . Tell her to make it sound as if the surprise is that AJ is asking Heather to marry him . Not that I'm asking her to live with me ."Jordan looked at his brother and Jon nodded . When you tell me I'm the only one you need/Sweet and tenderly/And your love /Breaks away the clouds surrounding me/All I have I want to give to thee ____________________________________________________________________________ Chrissy's place 4:45 pm

"That class lasted forever today or atleast it felt that way ." Chrissy complained and the other 3 girls laughed . It took everything they had not to tell Chrissy about tonight . Excpecially Kati who had become one of Chrissy's best friends ."I need something to drink .Anyone one want coke or sprite ? " Chrissy took the orders and went to the kitchen .Angie looked at her watch. "It's 5 minutes till this all starts . I can't belive that soon we'll be seeing Jordan and Chrissy get married ."Angie said ,"Also I can't belive in a couple of hours I'll be meeting Brian ah, I can't wait !" " Well I get to meet Joe who I've wanted to meet longer . He is so fine !" Jen replied ,"I wonder how big the weddings going to be ?" "What wedding ?" Chrissy asked as she came in the room . " Oh well on the soap I'm watching now ."Jen said as she crossed her fingers behind her back DING DONG " DOOR!" the 3 girls told Chrissy in unison " No more caffiene for any of you ." Chrissy shook her ," Can I help you ."She asked as she answered the door " Delivery for a Chrissy Taylor ." "That would be me ." she took the box and tipped the guy ."Well I wonder what this is ?"she opened the box and there was a dress almost exactly like the one she wore to her senior homecoming dance and she won runner up and Tina Grady broke her ankle a week later and she got to fill in as homecoming queen . It was a short black number cut over the top of her chest and came short of touching her knees by 3 inches it had the wide strapes and the only diffrence between this dress and the other was this one the back was cut midway down and the other had covered the whole back .The card inside read " I know how much that dress meant to you so wear this one to the party tonight Love, Jordan " "I can't belive he remebered . I lost the other one when he took me to Paris for my 18th birthday .We danced in the rain and the dress got really wet so when I went to the room and tookit of I put it in the chair . When maid servece came in they took it with them and I didn't know . We left that hotel before I got it back." Chrissy sighed ,"Well I don't have to worry about wordrobe know for tonight ."she laughed and the other girls were shocked at her easy exceptence of this dress . Usually she would be upset that he tried to pick out her clothes but for some reason this was diffrent to her . For the next 30 minutes they all goffed around . Then Heather and Taryn showed liked planned and Chrissy helped them chose dresses like was planned before .She showed them her dress and then they all left and Chrissy went to eat dinner .At 6:30 the other 3 showed up and Chrissy was getting a weird feeling . When they left she called Nic . " Everyone is acting so weird ."Chrissy said " No one told you yet .AJ is proposing to Heather tonight ."Nic replied " Ah , thats why ." she was happy for her friends but a little sad that it wasn't Jordan and herself.By the time they got together she thought we'll be in our wheelchairs . "Well I'll see you at the party ." "Chrissy , have fun kid ."Nic hung up the phone .She hoped the girl would finally be happy as she deserved . At Chrissy's house she was getting ready ,she had BSB 'We've Got It Going On'in the background dancing around ."Ouch !" she said as she burned herself with the curling iron .8pm came quickly and she drove to the party or what she thought was the party . The November snow fell gently towards the ground and Chrissy didn't see anyother cars when she arrived ."Their all going to be late to their own funerals someday ."sahe said outload . Chrissy walked up to the cabin and opened the door . The fire in the living room had been lit and music played a small table had been set in the middle of the room and no other furnature was left in the room . The table it self had 2 chairs around it and a beutiful setting for two . She knew something was wrong . Maybe she missed a call or something . She hoped she hadn't walked in on the proposal . "It's funny isn't it ?"Jordan's voice startled her and she turned to find him holding a single red rose in his hands wearing a beutifully cut suit in black .,"The words of another are sometimes the only thing to describe how you feel ."he smiled and took her noticabley shaking hand,"My love is all I have to give/Without you I don't think I could live . The first time I heard those words I thought of you ." "Jordan?"she whispered "Ssshhh."he place his index finger on her lips ,"I've wanted to do this for so long . Since that night in the rain in Paris .When you turned to me and smiled I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach by Tyson ."his softly placed his lips on hers for the most gentle and powerful kiss of her life . "Jordan , theres something you need to know ." she looked up into his eyes and almost lost control at the intense passion she saw there.,"When I was 14 Jordan I made the descovery that I loved you and I decided to save the only thing at that time I had to give you . Corny huh but I some how never got around to giving it up ."Jordan smilled . " Follow me." He took her upstairs and through to the master suite which had never been used . The huge king sized bed was covered in cream colored satin sheets and red rose petels .This room to was lit only by candle and fireplace light . A bottle of champaine was chilling and two crystal glasses sat om the night stand .He turned to the stereo and pressed play on the cd player .The song "The Gretest Fan of Your Life " played and he turned to her and bowed she giggled at that ,"Dance with me ."they dance slow pressed togther throught the fast ans slow songs even when there was no music left . Then he kissed her again this time they couldn't stop he picked her up and placed her gently on the bed .....

/ifI should fall /

The Next Morning

" So they we all in on it ?" she asked him as they lay in bed togther . "Every last one ." he laughed and she had to too ," Joe thinks your going to kill all of us . But your not are you ?" he ducked as she went to hit him with the pillow "I just might . Here I was already for a party and what do I get , great sex thats all . I mean do you really think that'll ...aahhhJordan stop tickling me !" she laughed . They spent the rest of the day there togther . Taking long walks cooking just spending time toghter and of course making love . It was the greatest day in her life but she was about to find out that a quick rise might have an even quicker fall .Jordan spent every moment making her happy and as they sat by the fire that night she found the rose he had held the night before . She held it up and looked at him and he was smilling down at her gently . " I remebered that once you told me that a single red rose meant perpetual love , and since thats what we have I knew we needed one ."her eyes turned completely grey as they glazed over with unsead tears . "I'm going to take this rose and press it in my memoroy book you gave me when I was 13 . One day I'll show it to our children then our grandchildren as the rose that you used to seal the deal so to speak.I think December 17 is a good day don't you ." she said "Your going to wait that long to move in with me , baby its over a month away ."Jordan replied "Well I;m not living with you untill we're married Jordan ." "Married what are you talking about ?" Jordan stood up and paced ," You know how I feel about marraige ." "I thought ...Jordan you know how I feel to . I'm as old fassion as they come .I want it all the big white church wedding and hopefully happy ever after ." the tears of joy changed and sad tears feel gently down her face . He looked at her and shook his head in a negative responce . " I can't and also don't want to be married .Either you take me as I am or not at all .You know me better then anyone else , as soon as you have time to think about it you'll realise I'm right." Jordan reach out for her and she turned away . "Don't Jordan don't ever touch me again . I thought I knew you . But apprently I don't."she sighed and droped the rose . She grabbed her caost a put it on and walked for the door,"It's funny isn't it ? How one moment a person is all you ever wanted or needed then the next he shows you the edge of a buliding and you have to fall 20 feet to the ground before you relise he wasn't who you thought he was ."she walked out the door into her car and shut the door .He didn't even follow .Jordan leaned over and picked up the rose and held it in the palm of his hand then went to leave himself.......

Joe's House "Did you know about this ? Joe you know how I feel about marriage did you really think I would just live with him ?" Chrissy demanded of Joe "What in the hell are you talking about ? He didn't propose to you Friday ? We all figured he would . Chissy I am so sorry ."Joe's phone rang at that moment and he reached to answer it "Hello?" he smilled ,"Hey Jen listen can I call you back ? Chrissy is over right now and well Friday he just aske dhe rto move in and aaahhh my ear Jen stop yelling at me it's Jordan who did it ."he looked over at the girl whom he had watched grow up ." Jen's coming over . She says you need a female to confided in . Dosen't that make me feel inadqute ." Joe hung up with Jen and he looked at Chrissy . His kind blue eyes did her in she burst out in tears and he took her in his arms till she stoped ."Come on Chrissy calm down . Do you want me to go give him the beating of his life?" Joe grinned when she looked up at him with a glint in her eyes ."I was just kiding man he could more then likly kick my butt." Jen burst through the frount door and ran to her friend . She saw the tear stained face she looked up at Joe,"What did you say to her ? Come on Chrissy we're going shopping that always makes you feel better ." Chrissy followed her not really knowing what she was doing . 2 hours later

"Mom ,she hasn't really said a thing since she came home with Jen ."Chrissy younger sister Ashley said ,"There are times I want to kick him ." the girls mother just patted her on the head and went to answer the door . " Danny what a surprise I thought you where in FL."Mom said " I came in last night and Joe just told me whats going on . We went to talk to J and he's gone .He building man said he left with a suit case and we called Marlene and she hasn't heard from him either ."Danny looked up the stairs and Chrissy ran down them into his arms .He had always been her big teddy bear the one who treated her like a daughter . Funny though thats how they felt about each other , Chrissy wasn't close and had never been close to her Dad but Danny filled the void well. "Danny !" Chrissy called in delight ."I've missed you so ." "Hey Squrt , Donnie and everyone else are out there and can they come in ?" " Sure, I mean it's not like they don't already know." When they all got in Suz came over and sat beside her ." Hey we all feel real bad almost like it was our faults as well." "It's not . Jordan is his own person , he always has been .At least TP didn't fly in for this mess ." The radio was on and a snow advisery was anouced but Chrissy didn't hear it .They all stayed for a couple of hours and ordered pizza .When they left Chrissy was feeling real down again .At 8:30 her Mom was in the mood for some fried dough with cinnomen on it so Chrissy went to get it . The snow was coming down hard but living in the north for the past 12 years she was used to it .Feeling in a bad mood she put Garth Brooks on her cd player and sang as she drove down the street.When she got the dough she headed back home but as she turned on the small street in the suburbs on the way home she slid on some black ice and crassed into a tree .The last thing she heard before she passed out was someone asking if she was ok...

Hospital

"I knew better then to let her go out in that condition ." Ashley complained to her Mom "Well she got lucky .Only a concossion and a couple of scraches here and there . I think Jon's in worse shape then her . He keeps pacing back and fourth and on top of it all I think he has a real bad hangover ." Lin said to her yopungest daughter . Chrissy's other siblings kept calling and checking on her . Right now her friend Heather was visting her in the room . The Room "Well AJ thought the idea about proposing was so great he did." she showed her friend the new 4 carat engament ring . "Oh Heather that is so cool ." Chrissy was so happy for her .Even though right now it hurt to smile."Have they found Jordan yet . I mean with the black ice and all I might be mad at him but I don't want him hurt ."that was Chrissy always thinking about others first .Heather felt slightly guilty about being so happy and her friend so sad . Hopfully Jordan will see the light and find his way home .

A Little Town in In North Carolina

"Bartender can I have a scotch striaght please ?" Jordan sat down at the bar and ajusted the newly bought cowboy hat. "Bad day ?"the man asked as he sat down the drink . "You could say that ." "Woman problems ?" "Yep, made a real ass out of myself and now everything is gone .It's almost like a country song only I don't have a dog ,truck and house to lose . I have an apartment a Jeep and I used to have her ."Jordan swollowed the scotch in one gulp and signaled for another . "If you don't mind me asking what you do cheat ?"the guy beside him asked "Nope worse I crushed her hopes and dreams .I made a fool of myself .She cried and left and now I'm sitting her miles and miles away and if I know her she's throwing things ."He looked at the other 2 men and put his glass down ,"If I could make it right I would . I toke me only 10 minutes after she left to relise I'd do anything to be with her . One problem she's not the forgiving type . She was hurt real bad when she was a kid by the man who should have taken the best care of her , her dad he used to leave for days with out a word lie and more and know she lets very few as close as was aloud now I've blown it for good." " Boy let me tell you a secret my wife tought me about women ."the bartender leaned forward ,"If she loves you really loves you then you always have a chance to get it back . But if you were caught with the pants down there are somethings you might not get back without surgery ."Jordan looked at the man and smiled . "Do you have a phone around here ?" "Yep." Jordan made a few phone calls and found a plane home .,"Hey guys I'll send an invation to the wedding here for you both." as Jordan walked out the door the 2 men looked at each other . "Don't ever tell my daughter I sent Jordan Knight home to marry another woman ." "As long as you don't tell mine ." Airport in Provdence,RI "What do you mean the Boston airports are all closed because of snow ." "I'm sorry Mr.Knight but I'm affraid it's true ." "Wheres the phone? "he sighed . This just wasn't as easy as he'd hoped .

Yourlove is strong enough to lift me up /If I'm afriad /You chase away my fears /And take me to /A brighter place to be/Beyond the rain /And I feel alright /Because you're by my side /Through it all ________________________________________________________________________ It was 3 am before Donnie finally got Jordan to the hopital where Chrissy was .When they got there though no visators were aloud and no matter how much they tried to charm the nurse it failed .So they went to Donnie's untill the morning . The next morning Jordan made a quick stop before the hospital then went there with a grin on his face .Untill he got there and Kati stopped him from going in the room and Heather came out of the room to tell him Chrissy really didn't want to see him . Donnie talked to Suz and she was so happy at Donnie's little secret that she talked the other two away from guard duty . "Hey ." Jordan looked down at the woman in the bed and saw the rejection in her face . "Leave" "I'm talking first and you really don't look up to kicking me out and the oters are on my side ." she looked at him a stuck her tounge out ,"I desreved that . Now listen no look ."he held out his hand and small box was there .She reached out and took it .When she opened it a beutiful dimond ring lay in the black velvet . "Jordan?" "When you fell of the building I followed close behind and I looked at myself and I wondered what I would do with out you .We were both scared of where it was going and the only thing we could do was hurt the other .It was natural for us anyway , the one who chases away the fear is causing it so you lash out at it and boom more fear . I can't live with out you and I hope just this once you can forgive me ?" "Jordan , take me back to Paris and dance with me again in the rain . I need you and only you .Paris is the best honeymoon place in the world .Though I can compermise will live togther till June 3rd when I'll have my big wedding ." "You don't have.." "Yes I do . I need you to be ready and in a way I need to get ready too. " "Do you know how much I love you ." "About as much as I love you ."

The End For Now