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Subject: 5 Stages of drunkenness
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| Stage 1 - SMART This is when you suddenly become an expert on
every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want
to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you
are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG.
This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART. |
| Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING This is when you realize that you are
the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You
can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want
to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk
to this person about any subject under the sun. |
| Stage 3 - RICH This is when you suddenly become the richest
person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you
have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also
make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART,
so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet
'cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy,
because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world. |
| Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF You are now ready to pick fights with
anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or
arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can
also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to
a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because
you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than
they are anyway! |
| Stage 5 - INVISIBLE This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness.
At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance
on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the
people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person
who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at
the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're
still SMART you know all the words. |
