Welcome to the Nightmare Cafe's Senseless Survey. This has no meaning whatsoever. You will not be graded, but if I like what you write (hint: be funny!) you may receive a reply. So, have fun answering these pointless, but entertaining, questions. I'll probably change the questions every once in a while, so feel free to come back as many times as you'd like and give me more useless answers to interrupt the almost comatose bored state I live in.


Who dares to take my survey?


What's your e-mail?


What color underwear are you wearing?


If you died and could be reborn as anything, what would you be?

 
What do you think about putting windshield wipers on a duck's ass?

 
If a gopher comes out of his hole and sees his shadow, how many apples does it take to plug a gorilla's asshole? (contributed by the demigod known as Industrial)

 
Have you ever wanted to make love to a cartoon character? If so, which one and what did you find most attractive about them?

 
Who would you rather make love to?


Scavenger Hunt


Quick! Search your house and tell me which of these things you have somewhere.

Colored condoms Large cockroach 50-pound gay hamster Empty coffin Occupied coffin Grape soda Peas Porridge hot Peas Porridge cold Peas Porridge in the pot nine days old A naked teddy bear A Jell-o mold in the shape of a penis A cattle prod Any movie starring Pee Wee Herman Goat milk A suitcase containing a half million dollars you stole from the bank


What would you do for a Klondike bar? (I stole this question from Skatanic Bastard's survey... I'm sure he won't mind too much, he kicks ass.)

 
What team of morons is the most moronic?

Bill and Ted from the Bill and Ted movies Wayne and Garth from the Wayne's World movies The Dumb and Dumber guys Beavis and Butt-head


Warning! A problem seems to exist with this form, although I have not yet determined what is causing it. I have not received responses to this form, although I have had at least four people send them. I have checked and rechecked the form code, but it doesn't seem to have anything amiss. So, if you don't receive an answer, or if I don't get your response, please don't be too angry or disappointed. Hopefully, I will discover the problem. Personally, I think it's the goddamn geocities mail server, but I haven't heard anyone else complaining, so that may not be the reason. Good day to ye, matey!