Some of you may have seen the movie "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". For those of you that haven't I recommend it as a reasonably accurate documentary on the life and times of Arthur Pendragon, King of the Britons or plain old King Arthur as he is more commonly known.
Unfortunately, there is an error in the portrayal of one of the Knights of the Round Table. I'm speaking of Sir Galahad. First of all, they refer to him as Sir Galahad the Chaste. This is totally false and there were many young ex-maidens that would've attested to his virility. He was known as the best swordsman in the kingdom if you get my drift (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). Quite often he would appear at the Round Table with a large smile and the other knights called him Sir Had-a-Gal.
The other glaring inaccuracy involves his visit to an out of the way castle. Given the current problems in the world I'll refrain from using the actual name but as Zoot (who you'll meet in a few minutes) agreed, it was a bad name. This castle was solely inhabited by young blondes and brunettes, all between the ages of sixteen and nineteen and a half who were cut off in the castle with no one to protect them. Other sources (given at the end of this dissertation) have established that while all of the occupants were familiar with sexual contact among themselves none of them had actually been with a man. Supposedly the population was 8 score females. That's 160 for you non-math types but historians have put the number somewhat lower and ascribe the inflated count to Galahad's propensity to overstate his conquests.
Sir Galahad was lured into this castle by what he thought was the Holy Grail. When he discovered that it was just a practical joke he and all the other residents agreed that the proper punishment for such an act was a severe spanking. For whatever reason, the other women requested the knight to deliver a smaller version of the same to each of them also. Unfortunately, it was at this point that the screenwriters eschewed historical accuracy in favor of expediency. In their version Sir Lancelot immediately rescues(?) Sir Galahad before he can dispense proper punitive measures. This has an element of truth in the fact that Lancelot did come to Galahad's aid but it was not until a number of weeks later.
Here's what really happened.
Zoot (remember, I said you would meet her) was the guilty party and although Galahad was chagrined that his quest for the Holy Grail would be delayed he accepted his responsibility to these defenseless women and agreed to mete out the punishment. Don't forget, this was the age of chivalry. The first order of business was to get out of his armor and he had a plethora of able bodied assistants to lend a hand and although not essential to disarmoring, a few of his helpers(?) got some of the softer parts of their bodies involved in the process. While Galahad was preparing himself, Zoot was doing likewise but much quicker. In fact she was already naked and waiting when the knight finally sat down on the throne.
This seat of honor was a large armless chair with intricate carvings depicting numerous punitive and sexual activities. (Many believe that this chair still exists and is the center of a pseudo-religious cult in California.) It was raised on a wide dais so all the other inhabitants could get a clear view of the proceedings as Zoot positioned herself over Galahad's lap.
She, like all the women there, was not unused to baring all her charms before mounting those steps but since it was the first time her lithe young body was exposed to a man she was slightly self-conscious. Still, she proudly and seductively joined the noble knight on center stage. Public spankings given and received in this manner were a common form of entertainment among them. Not only for the observers but most decidedly for both the one in the chair and the one whose bottom was soon to be a deeper shade of pink and nicely warmed. She had been witness and participant in these activities numerous times so she had no fear as she put herself into the proper position on his lap. Unhappily for Zoot, she was not over the knees of one of her young friends but a full grown man. The difference was not so much in the nature of the lap as in the strength of the arm propelling his stern hand onto her diminutive rear end. Galahad was nothing if not dedicated to any required task, distasteful or not, and if this young lady was to be punished he would see to it that it was done properly. From the first swat it was obvious to the spectators and especially Zoot that this was not the playful prelude to sexual games that she expected.
She gasped at the impact and before she could recover another one followed. Time after time the great hall echoed with the sound of hard callused flesh meeting the soft mounds of a girl in great distress. It did not take long for her bottom to pass through the deeper shade of pink and nicely warmed stage and move directly into being red hot in color and temperature. Her expressions of remorse and apology were intermixed with her oft repeated acknowledgements that his powerful hand was causing her considerable discomfort. Alas, Galahad was not moved by these entreaties but single-mindedly continued his quest for a well-spanked practical joker. The girl who willingly placed herself in this position a few minutes before was now struggling with all her might to get herself out of it. Dealing with someone who was violently opposed to receiving necessary punishment was nothing new to Galahad so, needless to say, her efforts were in vain and in spite of her constant squirming and twisting he held her fast.
She was learning a number of lessons. First that it was unwise to play tricks on passing knights. Secondly that spankings weren't always just for fun. And the hardest lesson of all was that she could and would survive a much more severe spanking than she had ever imagined. This last point was evidenced by her numerous assertions that she could not take any more and each such contention spurred him on to disprove it. The arm that easily swung a ten pound sword as if it was as light as a feather was more than equal to the task of driving these lessons home. Poor Zoot was getting advanced training in accepting the punishment she had earned.
When he finished she remained on his lap for a few minutes. The normal post-spanking routine within these castle walls was for the one who had just been spanked to provide oral satisfaction to the one in the chair and then to have the favor returned as a reward for enduring the spanking. Of course, those mischievous spankings were not nearly as long or as hard. Speaking of long and hard, as soon as she could, Zoot rolled onto the floor and despite her pain and agony, quickly extracted the long and hard thing she felt growing under her as she was being chastised. She never seen anything like it before and held it as if it was the Holy Grail itself. It may be attached to him but for now it was hers. She had earned it. Or so she thought.
Actually, Galahad was not unfamiliar with the erotic side of spanking and the lovely, albeit tearful maiden at his feet was very tempting but you don't get to be a famous knight without discipline and self-control. He carried her to a far corner and ordered her to stay there. She would not have the honor of serving him and definitely would not be given any sort of reward for enduring what she so rightly deserved. As her hands strayed to soothe her battered skin he admonished her and promised that if she was to provide any self-comfort to her rear end he would be compelled to start from the beginning. Her tears were a not too silent articulation of her embarrassment, the continuing and now inconsolable throbbing in her hindquarters and lastly, her heartfelt disappointment about having to remain a virgin after paying so high a price for the opportunity to move into womanhood.
The other girls were torn between looking at the state of Zoot's rear end or staring at Galahad. He was very obviously showing the erotic effect that warming a female bottom had on him. The long and hard thing Zoot successfully extracted was still sticking out of the front of his clothes and swayed back and forth as he strode back to the dais. There was a collective gasp when he stopped in front of one of the girls, spun her around to evaluate the gentle curves of her backside, said, "You'll do." and led her to the throne.
She was understandably nervous after seeing his method of giving special attention to Zoot's bare bottom but was helpless to resist when, in one fluid motion, he removed her diaphanous shift and placed her across her lap. She was as stiff as a board in her fright but he gently caressed her highest part and said, "Hers was because she was very naughty. Yours is going to be something completely different and there's a special surprise waiting for you afterwards. I guarantee that you'll be very satisfied so relax."
We don't know if it was his words, his soft touch or just her resignation to the inevitable but the desired effect was accomplished. Her whole body went limp in tacit submission to whatever he intended to do. Everyone was holding their breath so the first slap broke the silence and sounded much worse then it really was. In spite of his assurances to the contrary she was still expecting something like the way he started with Zoot so she was pleasantly surprised that it was no worse than when she played this game with one of her friends. The fact that it was a man doing it made it all the more exciting and his spanks were, as he foretold, much different from what he gave to her predecessor. Not as hard but with enough sting to get her blood flowing. She soon found herself raising her bottom to meet his hand and as he continued she felt the warmth spreading until she was more aroused then she had ever been. Once again he had to keep a firm grip on the young female body but unlike the previous occupant, this one was squirming on his lap for a totally different reason. Every light snap of his fingers spurred her to greater desire. He knew the exact moment when she was ready and quickly carried her to a small semi-private alcove. She objected at first by saying that she was supposed to kneel at his feet for the traditional post-spanking festivities but he just laughed and said, "I've decided to change your tradition and it's not your mouth I want to have wrapped around me."
As the curtains closed behind them everyone crowded around to hear what they could not see. Everyone except Zoot of course. She decided it was best to remain obedient and stayed in her corner. She considered rubbing a bit of the still lingering sting from her bottom but thought better of that also. Someone was sure to turn around and see her. She couldn't take the chance that one of the other girls wouldn't tattle so they could watch her get a second spanking without the usual reward. Even if they kept quiet out of loyalty Galahad's page had no reason to show her any mercy and would most likely report any noncompliance to his liege. Her only act of rebellion was to stamp her foot in a small tantrum.
Where was I? Oh, the crowd around the curtain listening to the action.
What emanated were soft moans, sighs and then feeble protestations that he was too big and was going to split her in two. A moment later they heard a sharp cry and then back to the sighs and moans. Soon they were treated to the girl's enthusiastic encouragement for him to continue whatever it was he was doing only to do it harder and faster.
By the way, these sounds and similar phrases would be repeated as the days passed and each girl got her turn to feel a masculine hand add color to her bottom and then to feel another male attribute doing what it did best. Although the exact words differed every girl fearfully questioned her ability to survive being impaled by such a large object and, in turn, each one was happily proven wrong. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Back to Galahad's first day on the job.
When he came out of the alcove he was accompanied by a naked lass with a huge smile on her face. Although she was flooded by questions from the other girls she would only say that Galahad's promise to make her very satisfied was far short of the mark. Enormously satisfied was closer to the truth and at the word enormous she smiled again and looked down at her ravisher's crotch.
A normal man would need at least a little time to recuperate but Galahad's reputation as a tireless lover was not without foundation. He was immediately ready for round two and he no sooner pointed to another victim(?) when that girl had her clothes off and happily scampered to offer her bottom to his hand with the promise that her time as a shy young maiden would soon be a faint memory. Galahad was an aficionado of female charms and was delighted to become intimately acquainted with another soft yet firm and very inviting target. The ensuing spanking brought out her barely suppressed sexuality wonderfully and she had no objection to his change in their tradition. Again, there was a crowd (not including Zoot) gathered just outside the curtain and among other things they knew when he successfully refuted another claim that he was too big to fit into such a tight and hitherto unbreached opening.
In addition to the sounds filtering through the curtain the first girl was providing a fairly accurate account of what was occurring and including a few editorial comments on how good each particular activity felt. This made the others even more eager to have their turn and when he reappeared he saw a sea of hands raised and excited teenagers jumping up and down to get his attention and volunteer to be next.
He smiled and chose another girl to accompany him on his fourth trip to the dais and his third visit to the alcove before stopping to eat. After lunch he rested while his faithful page Edmund (who was almost as well endowed as his master) introduced two more residents to the joys of erotic discipline and heterosexual intercourse. By then Galahad was ready again. Luckily, there was a second alcove so they could each have a private place to complete their conquests and by the time the night was over the two men had spanked and deflowered a combined total of ten girls.
The next day saw a dozen more warm bottoms carried to one of the two sacrificial alters and within the week Zoot was only virgin left. Galahad decided to make her wait until after dinner and he also refrained from sexual contact other than a few surreptitious feels and squeezes of other breasts and bottoms. You must remember that in these pre-politically correct times such things were considered acceptable and even expected male behavior. Be that as it may, he was saving his sexual energy.
As the day wore on Zoot's nervousness increased. Although her bottom was free from any visible signs of her first experience on his lap it was justifiably reticent about being the star of a repeat performance. The only thing that gave her courage was the thought that even though her rear end might not like it, it was the required admission charge to the special room. Then she would finally discover what made all the other girls emerge with satisfied smiles. Even that was almost not enough when the time came but in spite of her apprehension she pulled her shoulders back and bravely stood before the dais. When he nodded for her to continue her fingers were shaking as she removed her clothes. It was the second time she had been naked in front of him but she had to force herself not to cover her private parts with her hands. Shoulders back again and at his signal she mounted the steps to surrender her body to him.
He was not sitting down as had become his custom because he wanted to spend some time with Zoot's many charms before starting the spanking. In contrast to how he treated the others wherein he explored their naked bodies in private, he had her stand in full view of everyone with her feet apart while his hands were free to roam everywhere. You might think that the embarrassment of being stroked, handled and manipulated like that in public would inhibit her ardor but the skill of his touch was such that she was soon panting in lust and begging be over his lap. Even as far as to suggest that he perform this duty as diligently as he had done before if it would convince him to move on to the next step that would eventually lead to the delights she had dreamed about. He smiled when she finally gave into her impatience, pushed him into the chair and immediately flopped on his lap.
The spanking that followed was the longest one he delivered since his arrival. Even longer than her first one but not nearly as hard. Instead he brought out and maintained a deep pink glow over every square inch of the surface and the resulting heat radiated into her very core. From time to time he stopped the spanking for periodic digital forays between her legs. In all of these instances she stiffened and moaned in climax and after only a moment, he started the spanking anew to bring her libido to even greater heights. Her struggles to end the punishment spanking paled in comparison to the way she was now attempting to get off his lap and into the private room as her arousal grew and grew.
At last he released his grip and she immediately freed that long and hard thing she craved from the confines of his clothes. As he stood to take her to the alcove she pushed him down again. In a flash she was back on his lap but with a difference. She straddled his legs and guided him to her entrance where she bade farewell to her maidenhead with one solid thrust downward. (The astute reader may notice that she was the only one who didn't express any fear of being split in two. He had gotten her into such a state that such a thought never entered her mind. Her main concern was something else entering into the other end of her torso.) She rode him hard and fast and not only to their mutual delight but to the delight of the assemblage surrounding them who cheered for every bounce, moan, etc., etc. etc.
When their performance was complete he carried her as he did the others but it was not to an alcove. He took her to his room and laid her on the bed. As we have seen, he was quite capable of rejuvenation and they took their pleasure together many times until she fell asleep from exhaustion.
His work was now completed and he prepared to leave but the ones he gave to his page begged for an opportunity to serve the true knight. Of course, the others wanted another chance also so Galahad decided to stay a while longer. As you can imagine, even the most virile men have their limits and luckily, this is when Lancelot showed up. He did, in fact, rescue Galahad but, as I said earlier, it was not the way the documentary portrayed it. Lancelot and his page (Geoffrey) gladly took over the duties of entertaining the young women so Galahad and Edmund could get some much needed rest. After a day or two of respite the original pair joined their compatriots in the merriment and for the next month a good time was had by all.
The knights eventually returned to their Quest but Galahad left Edmund behind to protect(?) the girls. It would be unseemly for a Knight of the Round Table to travel without a young man as his page so Sir Galahad was obligated to find a suitable replacement. Apparently, no one questioned the soft features or lack of facial hair on his new assistant although at least a few acquaintances thought that Zoot was an unusual name for a boy.
I hope I've set the record straight.
My sources for this document are as follows.
"Le Mort d'Arthur" by Sir Thomas Malory
"My Nights as a Knight" by Sir Galahad the Haut Prince
"A Diary From a Page" by Edmund Flewall
"The Grail and the Girls" by Sir Lancelot de Lake
"He Used His Lance a Lot" by Geoffrey Smallwell
"Why Wasn't I There?" by Arthur Pendragon, King of the Britons