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Get your own Free Home PageThat nice Mr. Q is letting me use his computer again and he wants me to tell you a story. He thinks I have a very active imagination especially after I wrote about what I was thinking when I met him. I've already told you that in the story named after him and he said I should write another one so everybody could hear it but you can't really hear it can you? I mean, do your computers actually say the words? Do I sound like some disembodied voice that echoes like I'm talking in a trash can or perhaps it would be funnier if it was a male voice like HAL from 2001. Maybe I should sing a song too. Here, listen to this music lovers: "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do, ..." I really don't sing very well do I? Well maybe not but Mr. Q says I make cute little sounds when he's strumming me like a soft guitar which by the way, I'm not. My neck isn't anywhere close to that long and I have legs. Rather nice ones too, don't you think? He says his metaphor concerns his fingers doing the nicest things over the sound hole only the one he's referring to doesn't make much noise by itself but he does hold me in his lap sometimes when he "plays" me.
Where was I? Computer, Mr. Q, "Sidewalks of New York", cute sounds, guitars... Oh that's it, drums. He also says he likes the sounds I make to accompany his percussive efforts on the part of me that isn't shaped the slightest bit like a drum but he thinks is just as tight as one. He says the nicest things and to think I once considered going on a date with my other neighbor, you know, the one with the aardvark. He's very active in AAAA (American Aardvark Aficionados Association) and an ASS (American Spelunking Society). I've often wondered what it would be like to do something with him that didn't involve aardvarks and that's what this story is all about.
Oh, I guess you ought to know, this is a lie. I mean it never really happened and if I tell you that at the beginning maybe it won't end up with me end up because I didn't tell the truth. Not that I mind being end up but not with Aardvark Neighbor. But what if I did? So far nobody has spanked me except for Mr. Q and my parents but that was a long time ago and doesn't count. And then there was the guy at the auto repair shop who tied my hands to the lift and raised me till me toes left the floor and pulled my pants off before spanking me very hard which got my rear end really greasy because he didn't wash his hands first. And then he took a broken fan belt...
Tee hee, that was just to see if you're listening or reading or whatever. It's not really one of my favorite fantasies because I don't like getting all greasy and dirty but I guess I could have him whip the grease off me. I'll have to think about that.
Where was I? Lying, grease, whipped with a fan belt... Oh, that's it, ASS Holes. That what Aardvark Neighbor and his friends liked to explore and when he invited me to go into one with him my first thought was, "Wow, how kinky. Maybe this guy has possibilities after all." Of course I'm not biologically equipped to do the job right but maybe he has some zucchinis or something and boy did I feel foolish when he explained that he wanted to explore a cave with me. I said, "OK but you'll have to buy me a drink and spank me first." Opps, wrong cave again and he looked confused. I finally figured out what he meant and said I'd go.
When we got to the place there were a few other people all tied up in ropes and the most ingenious metal hook things and I thought, "You little devil, this is an outdoor bondage party." As he got his stuff out of the trunk I asked if I should take my clothes off or stay dressed in funky outfits like the others. I couldn't really understand the thrill of being tied up with your clothes on but when in Rome...
He looked confused again and when he didn't tie my arms which I put together and held out to him I said, "Sorry, how about this?" I turned around and put my hands behind my back. It's much better to have them tied that way even if I had to keep my clothes on. Can you imagine the nerve of that guy? He walked past me with all that neat bondage equipment and was shaking his head.
He said we were going to repel into the cave and I asked if he meant we were going to be repelled by the cave and if that was the case why were we doing it. I feel that way about broccoli and I certainly don't feel the need to eat it every so often to remind me how bad it tastes. I tried using that stuff like I do the zucchini but it didn't work very well and made a big mess.
Where was I? Bondage, broccoli, big boobs (the girl in the yellow T-shirt), bulging muscles that rippled when he grabbed me and threw me to the ground and ripped my clothes off...
Sorry, that was one the guys who had the most bondage stuff but he seemed more interested in Big Boobs Yellow T-shirt. They got me into the ropes and I loved it when they threaded them between my legs and pulled them tight. No kidding, they really did. Next thing I know I'm following Snooty Red Head with Not a Hair Out of Place (who acted like she thought she was too good for mere mortal men) down the ropes and about a year or two later finally get my feet on the ground again. The ASS hole is way above my head and looks much smaller than it did before. Like the earth just took care of business and was closing up shop. I couldn't figure out who was the top in this group because we were all tied together. Sort of like a group of submissives in search of a master. One of the guys, the one with the tattoo that read, "Microsoft Forever" led the way and it wasn't long before I lost sight of the ASS hole completely and the only illumination was from the lights on our really frumpy hats.
They seemed to get real excited when they saw some rocks and I had to admit, as phallic symbols, these were pretty impressive. I'd love to see Miss Snooty Red Head with Not a Hair Out of Place impale herself on one of them. That would put a smile on her face. The one's I didn't care for were the ones doing the "Sword of Whatever That Hangs Over Some Guy's Head" imitation. They looked like they could fall any second and even these silly hats wouldn't be much help.
We walked if you can call it that. More like crawling a few times and ended up in a big cavern. That's what they called it but it looked more like the entryway of a castle or maybe Nordstrom's with no counters or sales clerks. Now that's a frightening thought.
Where was I? Snooty Red Head with Not a Hair Out of Place masturbating on the rocks, muscled hunk getting his rocks off in me, Aardvark Neighbor looking for ants so he can take home a treat for his pets... That's it, picnic. We all brought some food and we sat down to eat sandwiches. Big Boobs Yellow T-shirt must have made them because they were terrible and I can't see Snooty Red Head with Not a Hair Out of Place doing anything as messy as wielding a knife with mayonnaise and peanut butter on stale bread. I told you they were terrible. She produced some cheese and let's see, Big Bulging Muscles brought some fruit, Microsoft Forever contributed a bottle of rotten grape juice which he claimed was wine. Probably one of the best wines you can get for a dollar a gallon. Aardvark Neighbor shared what looked a little like caviar but knowing his hobby I choose not to indulge. For my part I had potatoe, Opps sorry, potato chips because they were light to carry and a zucchini but that wasn't to eat. A girl can never be too prepared.
After that scrumptious meal someone suggested we turn out our lights for the total darkness experience. Wow, it was darker than the inside of a cow. Who was the first one to say that and what were they doing inside of a cow to make the comparison? Anyway, it was black. All of a sudden I felt someone taking my hat off. Although not is the best of style it did serve a utilitarian function in this environment so I questioned their motives. I believe I said, "Hey you idiot. What did you do that for? Gimme back my hat." The general gist of my query was echoed. Not only from the walls of the cavern but by two other female voices. This had the looks of a pre-planned event. Actually it didn't look like anything because I couldn't see a zucchini in front of my face. Sometimes I do that before putting it elsewhere. I can make believe I'm a prisoner who has to service the guards with my mouth before they throw me to the floor and have their fun in the traditional man with a helpless naked woman way. I love it when they take turns and I'm used by one after another until...
Sorry, where was I? Bad food, total darkness, no more hat, pants down, that's it. Pants down. That's what happened next. Well, not immediately but soon enough. Whoever it was that absconded with my ugly hat followed up by taking my harness off which I didn't mind too much and then he pulled my pants down which I didn't really object to either. I was sitting close to Big Bulging Muscles and I hoped it was him. Nah, not very likely, Big Boobs Yellow T-shirt was on his other side and he probably went that way so that left Microsoft Forever. Great, I'm being stripped by a nerd. Oh well, any port in a storm or they all look alike in the dark and this certainly met that criteria. He couldn't get my pants over my boots so he left them wrapped around my ankles. It's possible to have sex with your feet together. That's what the gypsy bandits did when the made me their slave. My feet were bound like that for months and I was constantly used by them and any passing tourist. Opps, sorry. Wrong fantasy.
Since he decided to have my panties down also I started taking my shirt off. I couldn't remember which panties I wore. I hoped they were good ones but I guess it didn't matter much here. I got my shirt off and was starting on the bra when he pulled me down. That was really scary since I didn't know where my frail and horny body was going to land. Thanks to Mr. Q I recognized the surface I was on and the position I was in. Lying over knees and ready for a spanking. SPANKING??? Yep, doubt was removed and his hand came down. The sound of the slap bounced off the wall and I almost bounced off his lap. Another slap came from my left and then, let me see, I think Big Boob Yellow T-shirt was on my right. Ah, I recognize her voice. Kind of high pitched and squeaky. No that was Microsoft Forever and his next swat belied the apparent unmanliness of his tattoo. Speaking of tattoos, did I ever tell you about the time I went to a tattoo parlor to have "Your Hand Here" permanently inscribed on my rear end. It was when I was dating a guy with the biggest...
Never mind, you probably don't to hear about that. It'll just make you feel inadequate. I remember talking about him once when I was indulging in a little solo erotic behavior and did you ever see zucchini go limp? Very sad. Where was I? Pitch black, bottom on fire, vegetables with performance anxiety... That's it He took my bra off.
Of course by then he had spanked me for what seemed like a very long time. Ahh, long. Excuse me I was thinking about that other guy again. The cavern was filled with the sounds of slapping and various expressions of mental and physical discomfort from three of the four sopranos. The one spanking me didn't say anything, he was letting his hand do all the communication. They all stopped at the same time and he stood me up to take my bra off. It was chilly in the cave but the bottom half of me was quite hot and I was ready to feel his warm hands elsewhere but I heard him walk away. What the hell good did it do him to bare my breasts if he didn't touch them. He sure couldn't see them. I heard more movement and finally he put his hand on me. My nipples were already poking out and it wasn't entirely due to the temperature.
I happened to grab is arm when he helped me up and now I put my hand on it again. Whoops, this was not the same man. These arms were huge. Ahh, huge. (Sorry, my mind wandered off but it's back now.) This must be big bulging muscles. What a hunk. He could make me swear off zucchinis forever. But when he sat down and I felt myself being pulled forwards I wasn't too happy about how strong he was. He could probably pack quite a wallop if he decided to SPANK ME, OUCH!. He just did My apologies to any literature critics, I got my tenses mixed up there. Speaking of tense, did you know that a good spanking can relieve tension. I may not have been that tense but I was getting a good spanking. A very good spanking on top of Microsoft Forever's excellent preparation and I could hear the other two members of the "I'm getting spanked and it hurts" trio joining in with me.
My rear end was not happy with the way things were going and I had a feeling that there would be one more male hand landing on me before I saw the light of day again. I can't say I thought about it that much because I had another feeling. PAIN! Big Bulging Muscles was trying to see how much of me he could cover by that massive hand. Ahh, massive. (Opps, there I go again.) And he was covering a lot of skin that was not too happy about it but there was a lot more of me that wouldn't have minded being covered by those hands. He stopped spanking me and for a moment I thought, "Now, we can on to something else". But once again I was standing alone in the dark.
They must've memorized our locations because I didn't hear anybody trip over the rocks as they changed places again and as I predicted, I was back over a lap but this time the spanking was much lighter. It kept the fire going but didn't turn it into a raging inferno. However, the heat a few inches from his hand was increasing rapidly. The other members of the trio and I had changed our tune and I could tell I wasn't the only one turned on. As if on cue, there was a triple gasp. Mine was because of where he just put his hand. Then the strangest thing happened, he left.
Yeah, I was totally disoriented and shivering as I heard the unmistakable sounds of one of the other women being radished, I mean ravished. A radish doesn't do you any good when you're horny. I know. I've tried but a zucchini is a friend forever if you don't insult it and I had one right there in my backpack. Salvation was at hand except I didn't know where my backpack was so salvation was by hand but only for a few minutes. Two guys grabbed me and held me bent over while the third took on the role of a very large and extremely satisfying zucchini. When they moved on to whoever was next on the list I was on my knees and very satisfied. Well would you listen to that. Snooty Red Head with Not a Hair Out of Place is getting her turn and can you believe the things she's saying? If you're having sex in the dark you have to let your partner know when he's doing a good job and I guess it's polite to encourage him but she should use more ladylike terms for the various parts of her and actions she wishes him to perform on and in them.
Eventually things quieted down and someone helped me pull my pants back up and wrap me in the harness. I pointed out that he had forgotten to let me put my bra and shirt on but he chuckled and moved away. Then we were told that our hats were right in front of us and we could wear them again with the light on. I saw Bib Boobs No T-shirt and Snooty Red Head with Hair All Messed Up both topless. I mean they had their tops but it depends on how much you define as top when you're referring to clothing. They had their hats on so would you say they were middleless? Whatever.
The guys were taking off these really odd looking things they had over their eyes. They calmly explained that they were night vision goggles and with a special light they could see in the dark. SEE IN THE DARK? That meant they saw all of us during the whole time including my boy I wish I could get to my zucchini and I guess I'll have to use my hand routine. Snooty Red Head with Hair All Messed Up had to wait the longest and her light pointed towards her feet as she hung her head in shame so I could only imagine what she was doing to entertain herself in the waiting room. We cleaned up the picnic stuff, linked together as the underground bondage six and headed out the way we came in.
The sun was very bright when we got to the cars and after the stuff was put away we all said good-bye. Big Bulging Muscles went off with Not So Snooty Anymore Red Head, Microsoft Forever was in a car with Big Boobs No T-shirt and I snuggled next to Aardvark Neighbor for the ride back to his house.
He pulled into his garage so I didn't have to walk outside while topless. I can say that now since I wasn't wearing the hat anymore. After feeding his pets he took me to a circus where I was stripped and put into a tiny car with eighty-seven clowns for some normal sex.
Speaking of biggest, huge, long and massive I have to stop now. Mr. Q wants to have a chat with me in his bedroom. I wonder what he wants to talk about and if it has anything to do with the paddle he has in his hand. Even more curious is what does he intend to do with those radishes?
Life with Mr. Q is good.
Bye.
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