The first Intercepted Evil-Gram.....


Attention, Mr. Reckless,

IN OUR TAKE OVER OF THE SHIT-HOLE CALLED EARTH, THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT WE WILL MEET WITH SOME RESISTANCE THAT WILL BE PROMPTLY CRUSHED DOWN TO DUST!!!! TO MAKE THESE IGNORANT FOOLS UNDERSTAND MY ANGER IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY. MY RETALIATION WILL BE BOTH SWIFT AND DEADLY(FOR THEM).

THEREFORE, SACRILEGIOUS ATTITUDE ABOUT ME WILL MEAN THAT ALL RELIGIOUS LEADERS WILL HAVE TO VISIT ONE OF MY HAND-PICKED TAXIDERMISTS FOR “ADJUSTMENT”. I CAN NOT AND WILL NOT PUT UP WITH THESE ASSHOLE MOTHERFUCKERS THAT PISS ME OFF.

SO AS MY PERSONAL DELEGATE OF EVIL YOU MUST INFORM THE NATIONS OF THE WORLD TO MEET MY DEMANDS OR GET USED TO HUMAN BODY PARTS LAYING AROUND!! YOU WILL LEAVE DAWN’S GRAYISH CRIMSON LIGHT WITH MY BEST TRAINED TERRA TROOPERS FROM CASTLE EVIL TO BRING ME THE LEADERS OF THE WORLD(DEAD OR ALIVE) SO THAT I MIGHT SHED SOME LIGHT ON THE MATTER.

YOU AND I TOGETHER WILL GIVE NOTHING AND DEMAND EVERYTHING OR THEY WILL END UP IN THE WATER DUNGEONS! AN ANCIENT CESS-PIT DEEP BENEATH THE ROTTING FOUNDATIONS OF CASTLE EVIL. A SEETHING MIRE OF BACTERIOLOGICAL ABERRATIONS THAT HAS SEEPED FROM THE SEWERS AND BROKEN DRAINS FOR A THOUSAND YEARS.

YOUR FRIEND AND MASTER, LUCIFER


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