Jokes Page
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Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten
to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a
little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and
robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little
snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat and
went about his fishing.
An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the
same snake with three more worms.
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A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the
Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we
have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fearof everything in our
environment.
In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total
elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide." And for plenty of good
reasons:
1. It can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2. It is a major component in acid rain
3. It can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
4. Accidental inhalation can kill you
5. It contributes to erosion
6. It decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
7. It has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients
He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. Forty-three said yes and six
were undecided.
Only one knew that the chemical, "dihydrogen monoxide," was water.
The title of his prize winning project was, "How Gullible
Are We?" He feels the conclusion is obvious.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A hare-lipped man walks into a Department Store carrying a help wanted sign. He states:
"I'd like to apply for the job, plead!"
To which the store owner replies:
"Do you have any experience selling Tooth Brushes?"
"Nope!" says the hare-lip.
"Well OK," says the owner, "I'm in a hurry so I'll give you a shot.
I'll be back at closing." And he leaves.
At closing the store owner comes back and asks the hare-lipped fellow
"How many tooth brushes did you sell?"
The hare-lip replies.."I thold one tooth bruth"
"Just ONE?" exclaims the owner, "That will never do.
Let's see how well you do tomorrow, I'll be back at closing"
The next day at closing time the owner shows up at the store
and asks the hare-lip how many tooth brushes he sold that day.
The hare-lip replies "I thold one Tooth Bruth."
The owner is very upset at this news and says,
"One tooth brush will never do, I'm afraid I'll have to let you go."
To which the hare-lip replies "Oh No, plead don't let me go.
Give me one more chanth, I gno I can do beddur."
So the owner gives him one more day and leaves.
The next day the owner returns to his store only to find thousands
of empty tooth brush crates laying all over.
He turns to the man and says,
"My Lord! How many Tooth Brushes did you sell today?"
The hare-lip replies,
"I sold three thouthand three hundred and thirty three Tooth Bruthes!"
"My, how on earth did you do that?" replies the store owner.
"Well you thee," replies the hare-lip,
"I went out into the mall and thet up thith table,
and on one thide I put thom chipth, and on the other thide I put thome dipth.
Then I put a big thine behind the table that read:
'Free
Chipth & Dipth'
Then the people they came and first they picked up a chipth then they dipth it in the
dipth and then they ate it."
"Is that all?" replied the owner.
"Well no," said the hare-lip, "after they ate it they would reply:
'Hey thith stuff tathed like shit!' and then I would thay,
'It ith,... wanna buy a Tooth Bruth?!?!?!?'"