'N Sync Bios

JUSTIN

Full name: Nickolas Gene Carter, I mean Justin Randall Timberlake

Nickname: Pubic Head, Roid Boy, Homie J.

Hair: L'Oreal #238 (I think it's supposed to be blonde, but with the nasty fro, it's alternately bright white and badly in need of a root touch-up.)

Eyes: He says they're blue, but they look more like brown to me.

Birthdate: I'm really torn on this one. It's either 1/31/84 or 1/31/78. He has the voice of a 15-year old *squeak* but I refuse to believe he could have that body at 15!

Family: Mom Lynn ($$cha-ching$$! Someone's using her son's popularity to her advantage!), dad who you never hear anything about but he MUST exist, and half-brothers Jonathan and Steven Robert (he "helps his mom out with them" whenever he can- like I'll really buy that. I bet he's never changed a diaper or made those kids lunch in his life!)

Favorite hobby: Basketball (what else does he talk about constantly?) Actually, I think the whole basketball thing is just so all the teenyboppers will think he's SOOOOOO cool. What would they think if he told them his favorite sport was shuffleboard??

JC

Full name: Joshua Scott Chasez (JC- or should it be JS?)

Nicknames: The Anti-Personality, Ratketeer

Weight: Not enough! That boy's anorexic!

Hair: Brown and extremely boring.

Eyes: Bluish-blue or bluish-gray (whatever)

Birthdate: 8/8/76

Family: JC apparently has no family (I can't find anything about them), except for a brother named Tyler who even has an entire website devoted to him. Go figure.

Favorite Hobbies: Having contests with Chris to see who can drink the most, sleeping... off hangovers, pretending to be a "serious musician" *snort laugh*

JOEY

Full name: Joseph Anthony Fat One, Jr.

Nicknames: Reject, Whore Boss, The Fantastic Spandex Wonder

Height: 5'11" (or something like that)

Weight: Don't know. He broke the scale.

Hair: Brown and usually gelled rather unattractively.

Eyes: Brown, sometimes Superman colored.

Birthdate: 1/28/77- same day as Pork!

Family: Any member of the mafia. Countless illegitimate children all around the world.

Favorite hobby: Cruising around in his pimp car and "pickin' up chicks", dancing, and Joey's favorite hobby... SEX!!!!!

LANCE

Full name: James Lance Bass (so, explain this to me- why did he pick Lance? Why not Jimmy?

Nicknames: Miss Mississippi, Organ Grinder- he's got the monkey! (Topanga, you sickos!)

Weight: More than JC but less than Joey (between 78 and 2,000+)

Hair: Albino blonde

Eyes: Albino red

Birthdate: 5/4/79

Family: Dad Jim, mom Diane, sister Stacy (you know, the one from the Babysitter's Club!)

Favorite hobbies: Riding horses and Topanga; every once in a while he even enjoys a fun-filled game of shuffleboard with Justin!

We're off to see 'N Sync...

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