vs. 

 

    Lovable fuzz puppets go beserk!  On this particular sunny day in the neighborhood, there's been a controversy.  It seems that Kermit the Frog found Grover in a compromising position with Miss Piggy.  Enraged, Kermit challenges Grover to a street fight in front of Oscar's can.  Grover accepts.  After all, he's the odds on favorite.  He's got his alter ego SuperGrover.
    The entire neighborhood gathers to see the main event (except for Luis and Maria who are playing doctor in the fix-it shop...)   Big Bird announces that this street fight is being brought to you by the letter P and the number 6.   Bets are running high with Grover the 10-1 favorite.  Grover comes out as SuperGrover, flexing his muscles and getting Grungetta all hot and bothered.  Kermit comes out in his reporter's trenchcoat.  He doesn't look ready to fight.  Speculation is that he will chicken out.  But Kermit has a plan.
    Grover moves in for a SuperGrover punch.  Kermit stands unmoving.  Everyone gasps as Kermit waits.  Just as Grover is winding up for a haymaker, Kermit is heard to whisper "I wish I knew near from far...."
    Grover stops and offers to teach Kermit near from far.  Kermit accepts.  Grover runs to the end of the street and yells "far!"  He runs back to Kermit and says "near!"  Kermit doesn't seem to get it, so Grover tries it again.  "Near..... Far!  Near...... Far!"  This goes on for an hour until Grover drops over with a heart attack.  Kermit walks over and kicks his lifeless body.

Winner:  Kermit the Frog